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baneɛnoa 701 11 Xood .di to draq a to blod jeg biwos I wod bus bad yeni yenom doun troqni bas am16 galyud 201 ameice Isoltestasi s ddtw eano I tab end Lise'„Goize”å al qide s. Tetrado biuw I etbal Mattiel af medt
imply the spending of Tone million marks), land all these rifles
somewhere on the coast of Coromandel and muggle them into the
country etc. etc., etc. I could not help laughing, myself, when
proposing all this nonsense. And the Boy was quite enthusiastic.
The "comité" has in deep earnest spent several days in thinking
K
over the matter.
men I had to do.
I think, this alone already shows with what kind of
I am outspoken.
I won't keep back anything.
My conscience
is so crushed by my only Lie of Life, that I must get rid of it;
else I will get madly slowly. Hever in my life before I did
I don't mean the small something of which I ought to be ashamed.
conventional and social lies, nor the common newspaper lies, we all
say.
I mean the Big Lie which eats up the whole existence, which
poisons the whole Life, which forces you to go on talling lies,
I have done many
not to betray the first, not to betray yourself.
silly things in my life, but even then I was true, my life was pure
and true in these foolishnesses. I was not like a man, acting and
*MATK deceiving and lying, with a mark on his face. One could laugh at one could not despise me !0, God! I who used to boast, before
me
my so many enemies in my political career in Java, of my not-needing lies I who condemned with the most cruel expressions those who
stood guilty of falashood and treachery.
I am not brought up in a religious way. I in my philosophy
denied the existence of a conscience in
man's breast.
Conscience,
I said, was only the traditional measuring of things good and evil, go as had been taught, to us in the nursery. I never thought it difficult to become, what society calls a rogue, a scoundrel.
I
had so many excuses for what I was going to do: deceive, steal and
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