QUEEN'S & ALHAMBRA
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JAMES
CAGNEY
WHITE HEAT
WARNER
MİRÇİRİR
MAYO
• NEXT CHANGE
SHOUTS FOR AN
ACADEMY AWARD!
EDMOND OBRIEH
M-G-M'S
FINEST PICTURE!
Starring
Vau JOHNSON
John HODIAK
Ricardo MONTALBAN
George-MURPHY
Denise DARCEL
M-G-M'S
'THE
BIG PARADE'
OF WORLD
WAR II!
BATTLE GROWER
STARTS
TO-DAY
THE STORY OF 50 GUYS AND A GIRLI
AT 2.30, 5.15.
KINGS 7.20 & 9.30
A DOUBLE ATTRACTION
ON THE STAGE
PRESENTS THE
SENSATIONAL AMERICAN DANCE TEAM
Buy
"THE RICH FAMILY"
THRILL AND ACTION
P.M.
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8, 1950.
GOING DOWN, SIRS
World Copyright by arrangement with Daily Wereld,
Sitting on
Fence.... by
was in England long ago the rebel first ap peared,
That Englishmen might
speak their minds, no death or torment feared;
The stubborn hearts they could not break, new broken, i con- ten,
By "Don't know," "Won't say,"
and "Couldn't care less."
was an English- John Ball, he
man, who asked, in some sur prise. "Who, then, was serf and gentle-
man in Eden's paradise?" When feudal zquires hanged bim high he left an England free Fer "Don't know," "Won't say,"
and "Don't bother me."
Wat Tyler was an Englishman from the farmlands, who, strode
To lead a band of Kentishmen
along the Mile End-road; When they stew him in
the
NATHANIEL GUBBINS
What blessed knife?
Any blessed knife, dear,
let the others ave a proper re- ward for their labour."
SOVIET INITIATIVE
the
"Doesn't he teach them any; thing else, like history and geography?"
"He might teach then the grography of income tax areas."
"Arithnielle_and_sums?"
"Naturally."
"What sort of sums?" "Suma like 'If a taxpayer ts running at 15 miles an hour and an income tur collector, 20 "When she'll finished er Bttle wurde belted, is chasing him at speech 1 pointed out I was a bit will it take the collector to catch 15% miles an hour, how long of a spiv myself, bein in the ole-
the taxpayer and what distance And so was er male grocery. employer, who's a general trader will they travel? in the import and export. If me knife, and your hess was taxed 100
But if I get it off the blegged
to plate on the blessed knife, how do I get it of the blessed knife?
With another blessed dear,
the
percent., I said, bang would no And how do I get it off that your ome and your job an
same day, and we'd all be on the blessed knife?
brend line,
With a third blessed knife, dear. Or a blessed fork, or a
blessed spoon. Use your blessed. loaf, dear.
"After the daughter ad flared out of the parlour the wife was Now I've dropped the blessed at me about the Liberals and er
market-place there dawned a plate.
brighter day
For "Don't know," "Who, me?"
and "Really, can't say."
That Englishmen can say their any has long been England's pride,
It was for this, and this alone, that English martyrs died; But did they dle by sword and rack and on the gallows tree For "Don't know," "Won't buy,"
and "Don't bother me"7
Bless you, dear
"There is a large number of bhops in England who have to. help with the washing up." Dr Tuchard Brook, Bishop of St Edmundsbury and Ipswich,
CAN
AN I help you, dear?
Yes, dear, but
your best gaiters.
Why, dear?
Grease, drar.
Dot
in
And smashed the thing, dear.
blessed
11 smash the blessed lot if I stay any longer in this blessed bothersome, blooming scullery.
"What are the answers?" "I don't know."
Any other kind of sumas?" "Yea. Sums he 'I a far- paper
and a half are C100 a year, chat are taxpayers worth?
-by- EVE PERRICK
On Nobody's
Toes (NOT EVEN
ST MORITZ.
OWN..
on one
ing "Madame, don't alt down IRST thing to do when goin" still haunt me,
point I made remarkable pro- you want to learn to gress. I am the only person ever
- oki
is, of course, to to travel along at furious prea
plek your teacher. I picked with the sits crossed. mine from a display of Crossed skla should form on photographs on the wall of effective if slightly unorthodox the hotel foyer.
One RUDOLF ROMINGER- | world champion on skis, and not doing too badly in the good [looks department either.
i
form of brake. With me they nuke no difference. There is only one way I can stop. sit down.
I
One of the main reasons I took to skin is that I wanted to
c.ff home to show
mid-winter.
ព
A determined, lean-faced grin, come smiling at me from a rush of suntanned face in mi Show, caught in the typleat. All the other skiers had beautf- action picture of a super-skler, ful light_mahogany complexions. They, of course, kept their faces Armed with a letter of intro to the sun. Mine was mostly duction from the hotel manager downwards in the snow. Instead I set out for the mountains and of a tan T ́gol à rash.
Mr Rominger. To get to the
mountain ledge, along which are pinced the various ski schools.
you take the funicular. And
then you walk
An hour later, weary at TN two lessons I became famous. weighed down by those dratted People stopped in their ski- boots, I spied a school-a group tracks to watch me.. of embryo sportsmen heing put Inough their paces by a man in a blue un form.
On the third day I made a I sudden, relieving decision. Wat not going to turn up at school.
I reasoned: One more session was certainly not going to put me in the class of those super- TRUDGED in their direction- men (and women) who daily at each step sinking into the zoomed over the mountain tops suow up to my knees, and no St ke swallows in ski pants. Bernard within call-
** SHOULD HAVE KNOWN...'
ing distance. And when reached the
| teacher he was not
Mr Rominger.
Mr R., sremed, was taking his class on the next mour- tain_but_one.
Allogether I did
four of those snow-
bound searches be- fure finding Rominger in a
Mr rez-
taurant.
World champions, not do however, waste their talents on the lowest formi
of ski-life. Mr
The advertisement which made Bre Perrick keen to go to St. Morita.
Rominger's pupils constitute an Everyone, I told myself, should G-star cast. He introduced me know when to stop.
to lus colleague, who took the babies' class.
The Arst Ulme you get the worth things on
la ferrifying. Quite three suddenly you find yourself re-
"What are they worth?" "It would depend on their
So
stopped. A thing I could never do on skis.
AFTERMATH...
The teacher refused to accept He
sponsible (or you should be) for a fee for his instruction. the actions of a contraption, 7ft. smiled kindly--and indicated it was a shame to take the money. in- long, fixed to your feet.
-[London Express Servics)
And the tricks those things You want to go forward; they want to go back. Guess who wins?
woman Prime Minister, It comes," woman spoke to woman as entla
Bloodsucker teach get up to. "Does Dr at States she said. That would them algebra?" be the end of all this claptrop about 11 bombs and more talk about ealth and progress,'
"Probably."
"What sort of algebra?" "Simple equations like f
income and y equalsi equals an the fuconic tae on it, then
In r-tax-
"But when I said whenever Don't lose your blessed tcm-
woman spoke to woman there per, dear. Put on your blessed was always an ell of a row, and is equals a taxpayer. gaiters
your that nothing short of a miracle algebraic or 1, and go back to
would change the sex of old Joe payer"," blessed study.
Stalin the flured out, too; and
Bless you.
And bless you, too....Dear,
Floating Vote
all
"I looks as if me and the wife and the daughter are goin to vote different on election day," said Floating Vote.
"The daughter, who as all the brains of the family, I still red ot for the Socialists if they'll take the taxes off
the wage carners
the kitchen.
From Here And There
ballerina and a member of the of laventing bird
game
R
EMEMBER the line in Danny
about Kaye's Dona
between being. difference
The
a
that
d in-up, you are down"? That's me the bluenosed killjoy. the on skis-accent heavily on the same down.
NEW YORK: Parlour sweeping the country consists names which corps de ballet-the one which are imaginary but plausible. Samples: the extramarital Iark, says something like, "They are
**
***
CAPE TOWN:
**
A cake at-
all
"Does he teach them Euclid?" she and the daughter spent the "Yes. He teaches them! rest of the evenin natterin in as the taxes 031 (two of
isosceles triangle of three payers, earning come ta samount with the allowances, are equal then their taxes are equal"
"So if we're all goln to vote different on polling day and cancel each other out, I reckon stay at ome, we might as well specially if it's rainin."
Awfta child wants
to know
and put em on the igh class spivs Dfor lucome tax collectors
who drive about in Rolls Royces. I'm not wiping the plates on The wife wants the Libernis to my gaiters,, dear.
Don't argue, dear.
it in as she reckons they'll be the Weman's party with n Wo~ man Prime Minister and fe more
All right, dear. Wil you dry war. And me? Well, I'd stil like to keep a bit of capital, even if It's only to leave It to the wife
THE FAMOUS FRENCH, APACHE the dishes? DANCE
ON THE SCREEN
LESLIE HOWARD in
"PIMPERNEL
SMITH"
with Francis L. SULLIVAN
SHOWING
TO-DAY
Mary MORRIS
Cathay
SHE WAS BRANDED
Rosalind RUSSELL
SISTER
with Doan JAGGER
At 2.30, 5.30, 7.30 & 9.30
P.M.
'FAKE' 'FOOL' 'CHARLATAN'I
•
Alexandar KNOX in
KENNY”
Philip MERIVALE
NEXT CHANGE ONE DAY ONLY: —— ALAN LADD in
Color By
"WHISPERING SMITH" Technicolor
with Brenda MARSHALL
• Robart PRESTON
When you've washed them, and the daughter,
dear.
"Of course, the daughter's idea They're very dirty, aren't of a spiv is different from every
body else's, as you might expect they dear?
with all er readin and learnin.
They haven't been washed for a week, dear.
"To the daughter a spiv is not
Walting for my afternoon off, always a young smart alee with dear?
Yes, dear,
padded alioulders pinchin lorry lands of rations for the black market, but anybody who buys and sells something he asn't pro-
What's the stuff on this plate duced with and or brain. like yellow concrete?
That's week old cpg, dear. The blessed stuff won't come off with a blessed mop, dear.
Then
knife, use a blessed dear,
NANCY
"The only people who are not spiva, dad' she said, 'are the -workers. All the rest are middle men or spiva in city clothes who ought to be taxed 100 percent, to
ID you sea there's a school
In London?
"No."
paper says the head- master has liver hair, a grizzled moustache, and the quiet air of
scholar. Is his name Blood- sucker like all the collectors who steal money from you?"
"Could Uc."
Bloodsuc- "Perhaps he's Dr
other ker, like the heads of schools?"
"Perhaps,"
"With mortar-board and cane?"
"A cane, I hope."
"Does he teach his pupils how to steal people'a money?"
"Obviously." "Like Twist'?"
Fagin to 'Oliver
"with his
and allver hair scholarly manner he would look more respectable than Fagin." "Which makes it worse?" "Of courte."
"The
success.
are Years paper says there girls at the school. Do they have novices
I tried to explain my lack of tacked and frightened a nesting
city "I'm nervous," I said. duck in the
suburbs and nervous swallowed Elx eggs whole. A of handling
had made the ski farmer's wife killed the sanke something of + with an axe, removed the un- "Ah, then you broken eggs from to snake's psychologist.
them to the must be married," he exclaimed, body and returned "Is she frightfully fit and very "only the married women are duck, who duly hatched red in the face?"
Moscovy ducklings.
amesinistress?"
"Why not?"
"If she's very red in the face
she can't be frightfully fit."
teacher
nervous."
The greatest difficulty about skiing is that you have to co
*
X
six
NEW YORK. Salesmanship by the four concerny caused to adopt the custom of eating
"Do they have a gym instrue- against your true Instincts.
If you want to swerve to the some Americans lor for the boys?" "I suppose so." "What sort of gym does he left, you must lean to the right; old English
you feel yourself falling forward, pancakea on Shrove Tuesday. teach them?"
so you have to lean further for- And, jealous of their success, a
York baker decided "Horizontal bar, parallel bars, ward to counteract it. To stop New rings, and boxing."
you are supposed to have your push another old Engilsh custom Why boxing?"
knees together, turned in, forty days ahead of time. Said "Some Income
tar
payers your feet apart, turned out. And his advertisement in all the Apht back."
what you are supposed to do New York papers-"Come and "Perhaps they have a com-with the hand-sticks at the same get your hot cross buns," mando course too?"
"Perhaps."
time I was much too busy to find out.
a
JOHANNESBURG: Specta-
"So they can be fit to chaso When you are going uphill|cular results have been achieved taxpayers neross rivers. and your arms should be behind by doctors in Bloemfontein
you. When you're going down- Isolation Hospital with
moubiaina"
"Quite likely."
"Is the games mistress in lowell, you're in no mood to start drugs, aurcomycin and chloro-
with the gym instructor?"
"They usually are."
"Is he in love with her?" "Not if her face is red." "Is she going to kill herself?" "I hope so!"**
"Why?"
"That will be enough for 10- day."
-(London Express Service)
Hep to the Step
|--AND OTHERS TAKE
SUCH BIG ONES
SODA
ICE
DEPENDS WHERE
CREAM
THEY'RE
AIN'T IT FUNNY
HOW SOME PEOPLE TAKE SUCH
SMALL
STEPS &
GOING
iwo
with
worrying what your arms are mycetin, in experiments supposed to be doing.
cases cures typhus. In some AL the ürst lesson, thewero effected within 48 hours. Instructor thought I was clown. This is regarded as highly im-
Africa Ing. He laughed. At second portant for South
ravages whole com- lesson he realised the slapstick lyphus still
munities in the native areas. In stuff war purely coincidental.
where
the Transkei native arcan Inst But though I broke the record year alone 1,000 nativas died of for falls per minute, though the the disease in 1949. But the heart cries of the teacher plead-drugs are still very expensive.
By Ernie Bushmiller
bif
INSECT SPRAY WITH DOT
SURE
When there's bif
Ineedn't use my fist!