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NARRATIO BY
CONDR, ROBERT LT. ROWERY
Q
LT. YAN
MONTGOMERY TAYLOR - HEFLIN
CHANGE
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DAN DAILEY Give my Regards
to Broadway
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, MONDAY, JULY 25, 1949.
TRAFFIC HOLD-UP IN TOYTOWN
(with apologies to Tha B.B.C. Children's Hour)
ERNEST THE POLICEMAN:
"AN'I WARN YOU, ME LAD, THAT
: IF YOU AREN'T CAREFUL YOU'RE GOING TO AVE" YOUR NAME AN ADDRESS TOOK,”.
FOR THE SER
PHONEY STRIKE MASCOT
EOK
World Cupariyht
angement with Eventive
horg
NEWS In The Land Of FROM The Dollar-
HOME
A MILLION MILES:
ONE
NE of the RAF Coastal Com- ruand's ace U-boat hunters,
NEW YORK.
THERE is not much talk of the British crisis on the 8.8 from Stanford to New York these mornings.
the On
now a BOAC pilot, has just It is not that there is completed a million miles By-nothing about it in
He is Captain T. American newspapers. (m" Bulloch, DSO and bar, the contrary, the New York Squadron Lender when he join-Times-favourite of every ed BOAC 1lc commands a self-respecting commuter... 11946 Constellation on the has North Atlantic rounds,
DFC and bar, who was
printed
column-long
And
nying
by
THEY SMILE at 'a wodding' THEY WORRY about Miss Coplon
THEY ARGUE about Senator Taft
C. V. R. THOMPSON
32526PANEL DE GENE
sponsor a
over the scene of some of his essays upon the complexities others who
mission
to gulde worlme "kills." He was of our new economic
or "backward natives"
American ways.
officially credited with having deals. sighted 28 U-boats, attacked 19
and sunk 5. On December F. 1942. Byle from Reykjavik,
CHARLES WINNINGER NANCY GUILD CHARLIE RUGGLES - FAY BAINTER Iceland, his record shows
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WITH MANDARIN DIALOGUE
Other papers, less objec
perhaps, he live,
than the attneked eight submarines Times, are actually using it one day. Captain Bulloch, who 13 ammunition for and against more Socialism in Americen.
lives at Enfield, Middlesex, was
born at Lisburn and educated at Campbell College. Later he Nived In Belfast.
DEAR TEA BREAK:
The Daily News, servative journal, has point ed to the crisis as proof of
The
MY SIDE OF LIFE! CHAPMAN PINCHER Column
́ÜIZZING British was only 20 minutes out when Medical Association de, asked the time after 08 hours. legates at Harrogate After nearly four days another man guessed right within 40 on how patients could minutes. brighten the overworked, doctor's day, I found theso five hates uppermost:-
(1) The mother who calls the doctor to see Willy's spola, thon says, "While you are hero you may as well take a look at Mabel's tonsils and grandpa's joints,"
(2) The dozen people who swarm in at the last minute of ourgery hours all with the same idea that by being the last they will not have to wait.
So it seems that the answer yes-for men. As fur women-all untested scien!!- ❤ cally-my experience suggests they have neither sense of time nor direction.
IF YOU CAN GET IT ★ IN AMERICA, where whisky stili flown freely, doctors get patients who can claim on intake of two full- battles a day. Believing that most of these claims must be ford University's Dr Henry W. masculino boustfulness, Stan-
Newruan hng Investigated the
(3) The woman who presents limits of human alcohol con- herself for
-sumption. examination drenched in perfume and caked with cosmetics.
(4) People who try to jump the surgery queue by breezing In with an "I only want to see you for a minute, doctor."
His conclusion-two bottles of Scotch are well within the daily capacity of the average seasoned toper.
."
DRAGON'S TAIL
* SCIENTISTS at tho Government's Lake Dis- (5) Pallents who think they triet atom station will 2001 know more about their com- have to face their most dan- plaint than the doctor because, Kerous experiment-known they happen to have read about tho Inbs ns "Hekling the
it in this column,
*
win's
THAT LONG NECK
TO FERVENT fol- lowers of Charles Dar- evolution theory one
dragon's tall."
in
To find the critical quantity of explosive to make a bomb, two pieces of atom metal aro briefly brought close enough to get hot." There
no risk of but tto U.S. an explosion, selentisla have been killed
by rays
simple schoolboy question has always been embarrassing sudden showers of atom
when the experiment chanced How did the giraffe get its long to slip momentarily out of con- neck?
trol
BEEF, AFTER ALL
SCIENCE that
*
Darwin's anywer, there are undoubtedly ment as a
published roundabout way of fo years ago, lund seemed rescue "proving or disproving that one plausible: Giraffes feed
1s certain Britain's
almost of FDR's
bright young
whales men entirely on the leaves of trees descended
Arc into Alger Illss, was eyer traitor.
from mammals Iss has denied everything, and
so during severe dengths those which once walked on land. But Americans, whose sympathies in which could reach the highest which lying land animal can this case generally follow their would be least likely to starve, claim closest kinship with polities, cannot wait for the dr
whale la an open question. cision.
The towering neck of the
Afler critically comparing whole blood with samples from other creatures/in a Ridget called a photronreflectometre, Dr Allan Boyden, America's Rutgers University, gives as his considered answer-the cow.
INQUIRY BUREAU
Yet the most important trindern giraffe, therefore, was no more than the long-term re- in this series has faded from PUT on thy Band on every the beatwave conversation. The sult of this harsh natural Dother 3.8. In America--the Government
tax 'Is accusing 11 on shoriness. of Con- majority
the passengers pafl-up Communists of plotting. think the British crisis is some its overthrow by force, and if thing that
But in the plot of this scien Washington knows successful it enn procinim the life Just-So story Darwin's DEA
EALING with building costs
about and that Washington will Communist Party outlawed. But alert opponents saw a serious at the Nottingham RIBA ita familiar battlecry deal with...and now let us has just been going on 100
long-six months now..
daw. Full-grown male giraffes Conference, Mr T. C. Howitt against the twin follies, of talk about Joe DiMaggio. said that the customary twice Government planning and For, after the
are much taller than their daily breaks for tea on building providing the present baseball hero is the chief topic American humour has dried up inches mattered as
fertile field of mates, they pointed out. So it British
In Government with of conversation.
the hent. American comedians can
1. "The drinking and dating the dollars to finance still
thon joke
better Darwin salt all the De about the two would have starved during the habits of 336 college women," more planning.
toupees who fell in love and got first dearth, while the
by C. A. Hecht. married and are now expecting munched Into a mateless sur- a Hille heir.
sites cost about £20 a house in lost labour.
628 NOT OUT:
LIFTON College still pre- serves the score card of A. E. J. Collins' fabulous cric- ket innings on the preparatory school ground 50 year ago. Young Collins-ho was killed in
the 1914-18 war-was 14 when
an
he scored 628 not out in innings spread over Ave after-
noons,
VOYAGE OF PEACE:
TORMER
Ringship, escort carrier
讀
·.
weather, this
The Yankee Cilpper, as they call him, is as populur today as Babe Ruth ever was. Until recently it looked as if he was all washed-up.
have
Even the
The
do
much
43
females
malea
★
* I GIVE without com-
two. ment the tiles of of America's Jutest research re-
porta:-
2. "Experimental airborne in- fectlon-the study of clouds of highly Infective agents," by Theodor Rosebury (U.S. Germ Warfare Station).
*
2 p.c. SAID-SWEET
THE DEGREE to which taste differs has
vival, doorning the race to rapid But then he came back. And about in America
politician most talked extinction. his spectacular successes
today. is Senator Robert Taft. Known to In the light of such logic the made him so popular that one Britain mainly because he op-discomfited Darwinians rested THIS talk has taunted the of his fans shot a man the other posed the British Lean and the their case, untli one day this
day for not agreeing that he
watch- Leftish New York Post was baseball's all-time star of Marshall Plan, Taft is being spring when someone
talked about in America for Ing London's Zoo giraffes spot- British stars. to defend the
-“making--a--monkey" out-of-¦ ted-a-less vulnerable-approach-startled--scientistà ---researching- Government-which not so
Truman.
to the argument.
on the reactions of 6377 people. to bits of blotting paper soaked It goes like this:-
in a special chemical. Only 65 The
really. remarkable percent agreed with them that It tasted
bitter.
Five per feature of the giraffe is not the said it was cour;
percent further 5 length of its neck but the length of its forelegs. Its stride is so percent found it salty; 2 per- long that with a
cent said it was seemingly
sweet. The instated. slow-motion gallop it can move remaining 23 percent
that it did not taste at all. nt 32 miles per hour.
-(Lenzion Express Service)
long ago it was assailing A wedding is another leading tople-a wedding that has just for its Zionist taken place after a 20 years convoy bitterly 12,450-ton policy.
courtship. The happy pale are Campania, has
comic-sirlp character
Russian
the.
serves
300 મ Actional heavy"
Anne
been loaned by the Admiralty As this paper's argument Palooka, as a travelling exhibition ship is that Britain's crisis is due weight champlon who has for for the 1951 Festival of Britain. She will be converted to depict to her war effort rather years tantalised his millions of the story of Britain's contribu- than to her Socialism, it at adult and child fans by never
marrying his sweetheart tion to world civilisation past, least
remind Howe. to present and future. It is plan-Americans who read it that
And romance is good to calm ned for her to call at Plymouth Britain-now the poor rela- those Americans who think that of the Senate before the Newcastle-on-Tyne, Southamp
a brave the meat - was once
contract with Argentino ally.
"just was Limey trick."
100, Belfast, Dundeo, Menai tion Straits, Greenock and Hull.
PORT OF COCOA:
But the trouble is that all these reports are printed On
NEGOTIATIONS #1 Govern- page 32 or thereabouts in the
ment level are being con-voluminous American NCWB- ducfed by Liverpool Chamber papers. My fellow-travellers
of Commerce to get the cocoa on the 8.8 seldom get as for na trade of the country back to page 32, these days. the Merseyside -part. For
years It has been.
port in
the
After all, the thermometer
TRUMAN'S most important ciection promise was that he would repeal an anti-strike Bill which Senator Taft wrote To account for the lanky legs boss is easy. Giraffes have Jonit and passed while he was
last been proyed on by lions and relentless the election New Taft is head of leopards. So in the
Republican (ar another, the
Tory) run-or-be-slain struggle nature has consistently favoured the fastest specimens thesa with Senato Obediently the
set the longest legs. about writing u now Labour
minority.
Bill to replace Taft's Bill. But What has that to do with the now they have just woken up long neck? to a startling fact. The Senate
was Taft who, by A
the
got a new Labour Bill, but it Simply this-i the giraffe's Ingenious neck had not continually elon- MERICANS are talking about
has written
with lis itated to keep puce all the trials
anti- manoeuvring
again. And Labour saye the forelegs it would not have been pro-
the able to drink. As it is, the feel new Bill is just as bad as
ald one.
beast has to splay its legs 10 ret the head down fo water the level.
many cocon
the has been up round 20 now for Communist hysteria has country, bringing in, on Im nearly a month, and it is too duced. Most of them portant sourds of revenue for hot for the facts of inter- rather sorry for Judith Coplon, the port and community.
national life.
a typical American girl-pretty,
On the personal side, Elforts are being made to get
Independent, efficient who has chief tople with almost Food Ministry
My companions are not, to allow
of been found guilty of trying to American today la his cocoa to be dealt with at the what has been going on else to a Ruslan with whom
course, completely unaware
turn over Government secrets low's business?"-a quesilon quayside rather than by being,
she asked anxiously and with where. as now, put into bonded ware-
said she fell in love. houses.
the
of
any Job.
on
urgent demand for an unswer
The someone was the author of this column. Zi technical ther's published In- the scientio journal Nature.
*
•
TIME, PLEASE
All are word-perfect in the
In spite of what Judge, jury, is what I am hearing every SON FOR "TATTS": -
adventures of Gorgeous Gusele, and the Federal Bureau of In- morning, on the 8.8.-. But no, there is not much talk vestigation sold, most people And the working man Ÿstens
here cannot
DEES trained to forage PIRTH of a son to the wife of about the dollar crisis.
"believe that a just as attentively as the vice- D Lleut Col. Eil. Tatter-
typical American girl would president. For the American
at a certain hour can Convinced now that the Rus knowingly want to betray ber slump which sparked the new gauge the time
oven when sall is announced. For 200 ians are no longer a
menace, country
lighted British crisis-le possibly the kept in a constantly family there might be some passengern years the Tattersall
Have were the famous
human beings only, topic able to compete these room. auctioneers on the 8.0 who would stop the But most, controversy has days with the heat and Joe D such a time sense? of bloodstock, and every race dollars flow to Britain if they, been raised by a trial that is Maggio..
window- A' 'man. tested in a course in the country has its saw a way of doing it grace still undecided. It is a perjury "Tots" enclosure
less. sound-proof room without fully.
sult brought by the Govern-
In watch or other time-guldo
NANCY
Net Profit
VIVIAN
BAM
--London Express Service)
By Ernie Bushmiller
POCKET CARTOON by OSBERT 'LANCASTER
FRAN
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200
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