ப்
comes
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1948.
This business of making
a good marriage
Lady Hartlägi Sooner or later every young man up against the problem of marriage-faced by the questions "Have I enough money to marry?" and "When shall I marry?”.. Here Sir Patrick Hastings, K.C., tells of his own mar- riage, and offers some wise advice to those about, to enter on matrimony.
WAS 24 when I was called to the Bar. 1, was married when I was 26.
What a lot of rubbish is talked on the subject of young marriages. I suppose there is not a mother living who does not want her daughter to marry :well.
If she is asked what she means by that she will lie and say that she only wants her claughter to choose for herself someone who, will make her happy
What she really means is that she na a mother knows best what is good for her.
Selecting
a son-in-law
With the best possible inten- tions she will decrfully select
Sir Cabril, Hasting
of his
tells the story of
own romance,
1
with
a few comments on ambitious mothers
If the position were reversed and children were permitted to advise their parents to the treatment of their offspring, well might the advice be, just love us, and leave us alone.
She came into
the room
One dark Sunday afternoon in winter I had finished my work carlier than usual, ond was feeling depressed and Ill from a sharp attack of my ever-recurring malaria. The long walk home to Putney seemed dreary, beyond belief, and being in the last stages of haustion it was u rellet beyond words when. I was asked to
ex-
A long engagement is a state would not wish upon
my most hated enemy, but in our caso it WBX unavoidable, Thoughts on being
penniless
K.C.
To bo penniless is, to say the least of it, unpleasant, but to impose that state on someone else is adulterated hell, and brings to self-contempt. man nothing but a feeling of utter
kindness because she thought we had enough experts without her.
It wus a
a "remarkable, experience; one day she was not there; the next day the wan
I have had other babies since and have grown wise in my generation, but there has never been a day Iri my life quite like the one on which Barbara was born.
If ever I were asked to give advids on the subject of ourly marrying, my only answer could "Don't ask advice from any. ano. And If you get it, don't take
A long experience in the Divorce Court, may well result in a some
view of marriago what cynical which is quite unjustified if only fact that the by
Court, while knowing Divorce everything about adultery, knows nothing whatever about happiness.
reason of the
To my mind the whole of our of Jow aliko upon the subject marriage and of divorce is utt
utterly ridiculous, based as it is upon u strange mixture of the law of con- tract, which is singularly inappro priate to a married state, and the At the same time it may leave old occlesiastical law, which la not memories which go far to wipe out appropriate to anything. less pleasant recollections, memories The law proved
of unfailing cheerfulness and con- Odence, encouragement in moments of depression, and above all con- go to
tempt for unwanted sympathy.
S
tea at a house in Colville-road."
I remember sitting in the drawing- room, grateful for the comfort of a fire, when my wife came into the
room.
ness,
to be an ass
trat two
In so far as il rests upon contract I well remember a patronising the law presupposes relative offering to my wife people who may be either so young sympathetle congratulations upon my or so stupid as to be quite incapable wonderful luck at being allowed to of forming a wise work for Charles Gill
opinion upon And both being possibly by a sudden passion which Her only
"What answer was;
renders them incompetent to make wonderful luck for Charles GL
Towards the end of two
sane, decision, have entered years any Sir John Simon appointed me his into an agreement which is to en- private secretary at my well-known dure for the term of their natural
lives, salary of £2 a week.
If I could choose for myself the two characteristics which I would most greatly desire to potsers, I think I should choose a violent tem- The fact that he has never por and completo and utter selfish- done a day's work in his life
The first ensures the deference of and in all probability never will
terror of competitors, and the is immaterial; the fact that his opponents, but that I have never past life is one to make him been able to acquire. unfit to marry any decent girl The second enables its possessor. is overlooked; and the fact that to make up his mind as to the ob- Ject he desires to attain, and leaves such a marriage is doomed to hina, untrammelled us to the feel-
others in its attainment. There Is
Why he did it I can never imagine, As there is practically no other as I was an appalling secretary; I form of contract of similar duration, never could
and still cannot spell it is scarcely surprising that once accurately without the aid of a die- again the law has proved itself to tionary, and my writing was 'atro- be an ass clous.
The ecclesiastical view is based was quite incapable of wording upon a more simple maxim, "Whom an acceptance of a polite Invitation God hatir foined together let 10
failure from the outset is not ings of much to be said in favour by an archbishop, neither did I know, man put asunder," and consequent-
believed. It will be a good marriage.
→
have often wondered how many of these good marriages which, later, have passed through my hands in the Divorce Court, have
want
and
of knowing what you being quite determined to get it.
Within a very short time of my frst visit, my wife found herself
engaged to be married.
been attributable to over-anxious But the tears
mothers, and to the fact that the new home began too prosperously.
It is a bad thing for two young people to have all they want too coon, and to start in the belief that nobody need go out and work.
had no effect
I am bound to say she accepten the situation with considerable for- titude, but not so her mother.
She was the ideal mother
and
I am sure she had always wanted her daughters to marry well; const quently she must have hated me.
She thought I
was
in their unioa,
the proper designation of the eldest ly it requires a married couple, son of a marquis, and Jolm Simon however unhappy was in great demand.
He gave it up
after six months ་ ་
elther to live in legitimised misery for the rest of their Aves, or else,
#
they are more courageously in
clined, to indulge. In a state of
Poor Simon! After six months he perpetual adultery.
could stand no more, but he handed
The happiness of individuais does
me a cheque for six months salary, not appear to have entered
£50.
We had never had so much money
ried.
anybody's calculation
物 Possibly
time may
into
come
before, so we decided to get mar- when there will be a difference In our matrimonial outlook, and My wife's mother sobbed: sho marriage may be regarded some zobbed unceasingly for many hours, what more
as her future sor -in-law a young spent on someone else, but it is, not Penniless, in which she completely but was prepared to do no more term of imprisonment for life,
man whose sol qualification is that he possesses more, money than he needs in order to con- tinue his bachelor existence..
Money Is quite a good thing to work for, especially if it is to be much good to anyone who does not
have to work for it.
Parents are apt to interfere with their children too much,
W&5 com-
pletely right, and she also thought I was an atheist, in which she was
qui'e wrong.
She sobbed bitterly, but her tears had no effect.
For Real Christmas Fare
CHRISTMAS CAKES
Moh Fruit Cake Almond Faste & Ornaments from England
MINCE PIED
Pastry Timo Molts In Tour Alouth
Mince Mess With The Old Fashion Flavour
ABSORTED CHOCOLATES
Undoubtedly The Best Chocolates In Hong Kong.
SELECTED SWEETS
"
Good For Young and Old. 100% Puro
Place Your Order With. Us and be sure of A
"MERRY CHRISTMAS"
GARDEN (HYGIENIC) BAKERS THE COLONY'S BEST `BAKERS
DAIRY FARM WINDSOR HOUSE AND:78 NATHAN ROAD
as I
In o civilised community no one
should be sentenced to a life of misery merely because their married life has proved a fallure.
Doubtless it is difficult to define happy marriage.
as a state of mutual I offered her my deepest sympathy, happiness and somewhat less as We were married within a week
Our wedding could hardly be described as a society event. As far I know, nobody was invited but I remember
that the church was Everybody loved-my-wife-and-
At its best it is perhaps the one can only imagine that the congrega- tien assembled in order to express thing that makes life worth living. their unqualified disapproval of but however well it starts, from the beginning to the end its anX KİCKETLOUCES Throughout the service my wife's bangs by a thread; never for one sisters and relations all sobbed, and moment must the thread be stretched
too far or it may break. so did most of, the congregation.
ifull
me.
As so many
are sorry.
>
If they begin
to slip apart
Afterwards I apologised to the Many a young wife claims the clergyman for the lack of enthusiasm right to have what she is pleased to his efforts had evoked. He must call "her men friends." She is a have been a very shrewd old man, fool; almost as great a fool as her "As so many people are sorry to lose husband who admits her contention. he said, "I rather fancy you If once they begin to slip upart they
win
never come back, and the rift, onco started, will widen every
are rather lucky."
Bless his kind heart, he never said a wiser thing!
The furniture was a problem. It was accumulated with great diff culty and by
by degrees.
There was one tragedy: we never had a plano. As neither of us play ed
the
piano it did not greatly affect us, but our one small maid did not think it was respectable.
day until they and themselves glaring at.
at each other with synthetic hate in the presence of the President of the: Divorco Division.
Children afford still Another opportunity for the interference of ecclesiastical dogma and possibly of Judicial severity.
the almost 1. remember Our margin. was very narrow, and
ferocity of one learned Judgo although I suppose
I had a bank towards a boy who was so far for- book I never dared to look at it, getful of his duty of parental honour
because the balance at its best nover reached £10.
adwell
savage.
that he knocked his father down in
an endeavour to prevent a brutal assault upon his mother.
Once
I had to pawn the ring my willo
had given me in order to pay But undoubtedly: children are a therallway fare Circult,
for a case
on legal nuisance; they are naughty
when they are young and expensive In one respect I was exceptionally when they begin to grow up, and
G
.FIT
DON'T TAKE CHANCES! For dependable safety and longer woar.
KELLY
Springfield TIRES
GILMAN & COMPANY LTD.
MOTOR DEPARTMENTS Telophones: 56789:& 58800.
Bohemian Hand Cut
CRYSTAL
from the
STEPHANIE WORKS
Czechoslovakia
at
INGENOHL'S
Crystal Department
Gloucester Arcade
(BOLE DISTRIBUTORS IN HONGKONG)
The Most Beautiful Presents At Reasonable Prices
KARO
SYRUP
Delicious for
Table
Distributors
use
fortunata; never for one moment the only remedy suggested by the IMPERIAL TRADING
was I permitted to regard my work wisdom of our ancestors is to bent as a thing so sacred as to be beyond them when they are young and to criticism, or, if necessary, stern res make settlements upon them when proof, and there are many members they are older.
of my profession who would have derived much benefit from ป similar course. of treatment.
Whenever I had a 'caso" of any interest my wife used to come to court, where she would remain from start to finlah.......
Best retur
return for
the money
It might portions be better that parents should be enjoined to feel Her appearances, in court were so more gratitude towards their chil regular that she became the, object dron
Children did not asic to be born,
of xcepeciful affection of every policeman and usher in the build- and most of their evil tendencies ing, all of whom vled with each are probably inherited, against their other In order to ensure for her
most comfortablo, seat.
No
or
will, but their forgiveness
the wil
understanding
and generous In matter how crowded the court unto thy are tolerant In
Lave their toleration, and, above all, they how distinguished may
bean these witb desired to hear the ero the best companions in the case, they were ruthlessly removed world whole they are the best to ensure for my wife here for the money that wo are
Yoon
an
abe
I remember on dae occasion over likely to get, and that is a Mr Justice Darling sending me fact for which we should be down a note from the Bench nying: eternally grateful
"I see your wife Is not here; I suppose that means that this isa,
very, dull coin.
NEXT WEEK)"
at baby arrived after weken TEHO
Our first baby
wo
had been married two years;ped Two pearls that wrecked a haps she walled so long out of Marshall Hall "triumph."
*
Co., Ltd.
King's Theatro Bldg.
Tel. 28209.
CARS of DISTINCTION
Rolls Royce
Bentley
Sunbeam Talbot
Jaguar Chrysler
Plymouth
Humber Hillman
GILMĀNS ARE PROUD OF-EVERY CAR THEY BELLY DES PENDABLE SERVICE MAKES SATISFIED CLIENTS INTO FIRM' FRIENDS, ENQUIRIES FOR NEW CARS DE USED MODELS RECEIVE IMMEDIATE ATTENTION FROM AN ORGANISA+ EDITION SHTHUSIASTIC TO SERVE YOU, JEESUS GILMAN & COMPANY LTD.
VANESE MOTOR: DEPARTMENT ENZ.