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TO-MORROW: “NIGHT SONG"
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH,
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 1948,
NOMENT OF CRISIS IN THE MEN'S WARD
CASTE
by GILES
*Anslindy here "who doesn't think the nurses justified in their claim for higher wages?'
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
Sitting on the Fence
"So you still turn down the beds in Britain, said the lady from Atlanta to the English maid. I've always thought of bed-turning-doon as a sort of symbol of British hospitality.""
THE above is a quotation from an advertisement concocted by the British Travel Association and publish- ed in American magazines with the idea of attracting Ameri- can tourists to this country.
Although your
Not Uncle doesn't know A thing about advertising, his first reaction was why should the lady from Atlanta travel 6,000 miles, at considerable expense, to have her bed turned down in English hotel by an English chambermaid?
sn
If the Indy in Atlanta is so plumb crazy about having her bed turned down, couldn't she get her own maid to do it.
And what about "a lady in California who might also read the advertisement? Is she supposed to drop everything she's doing. pack her bags, and make *1 12,000-mile journey because she's rarin mad to have her bed turned down by an English chambermaid?
arc
If Americans
suckers for simple enticements like this, why didn't the copy-writer think up few more dollar-earning symbols of British hospitality, such as carly morning tea in bed?
In country hotels, where they can't afford to keep chambermaids working longer than the regulated bours, this homey British rite is usually performed by the night por- ter, who has just finished cleaning your shoes
You know he has made the tea himself because it is dark, strong, Jukewarm, and stiff with sugar, just as he likes it.
[
The state biscuits in the saucer are soaked in spilled tea to save you the trouble of dunking them, and round the handle of the cup there will be black finger prints.
Then there is the bedside lamp. Where else in the world would you And that it either doesn't work or you can't reach it?
How many delighted visitors from abroad have either turned off the main light and stumbled blindly to a strange bed, stubbing their toes
by NATHANIEL GUBBINS
"I've always thought of these un- workable or Inaccessible lamps as n sort of symbol of British hospila- lity.”
Breakfast
VOU can't have breakfast in bed I because of chambermaid trouble. She can't bring breakfast in the morning and turn down your bed unless she gets double
nt night money.
So you will have to go down to the breakfast-room, where there will be a choice of kipper or kipper.
This delectable fah was once a herring, and if it tastes like an old fisherman's sock now, it's because we can't be bothered to cure it properly over smouldering oak shavings, The modern method is to dip it in brine and dye, and to hell with you.
And oh, there's that fly in the marmalade again. As everybody and everything lives and lasts too long in England, it's probably
George, the same Ay who was in the same marmalade pot when you were over Jast year, debr indy from Atlanta. Or was it the year before?
Never mind, George. You won't be disturbed, You shall Rve the rest of your life in the old marma- Inde pot, and may you enjoy many more happy years before you wither away like the rest of the popula-
tion.
Ten or coffee? Well, it doesn't maller which. They both taste much the same. Why not have both and mix them in the same cup? There's nothing like doing some- thing different when you're abroad.
"So you still have that quaint old salty fish for breakfast and the same quaint old fly in the quint old marmalade pot," said the lady from Atlanta. "I've always thought of salt fish and fles in the marma- lade as. sort of symbols of British hospitality,"
Church
THERE are many more interesting things to do in this quaint old country town before you leave.
You can go into the hotel lounge, where the permanent residents have the best chairs and spend the entire morning reading each other's news papers, maiting savage remarks about members of the Government
on the furniture because the bed (who, even if you don't like them,
sido lamp won't work, or strained
switch?
are at least working), and mutter
Then, of course, you must see the church.
All churches In quaint ok Engilsh towns are at least 500 years old; so they all need money for repairs or restoration.
The longer vou talk to the verger, or whoever happens to be around becomes and the greater the need at the time, the older the church. for larger sums of money.
If you talk to the verger long enough the church will be older than Christianity Itself, and if you don't seram you'll find yourself Anding the money to bulld, an entirely new church.
Wherever you have the salad, it will always be the same-two leaves of limu lettuce, half a small tomate, two slices of beetroot with the cook's Angerprints on them, no dressing.
A
*
The sweet will be apple pie and custard made without milk, eggs, or
sugar.
UNO is big
money
to Spire
From Newell Rogers
NEW YORK.
Hiro Karageorges over the
ARDLY any one can be happler
news that UNO is going ahead with plans to build Its £10,250,000 sky- semper palace on the banks of Now Yoric's East River,**
Congress has approved a loan to UNO to finance the werk, which is due to start in October.
When Karageorges came from Greece in 1905 he earned pennies selling flowers in the Bowery, the shabby street of down-and-outers.
Today he owns 37. buildings valued at £250,000 mostly clustered on the fringes of UNO's intended site.
"And now," Enya Karngeorges, "my land is worth double, I should say. Fine news, fine news.
"People keep asking for my land to build hotela and shops. The other day they would not pay £185,000 for one piece. Now I sup- poso they will."
HUNDREDS
of housewives In Florida, Texas, and Georgia,. asking them to boycott their but- are each phaning five other women.. chers until meat prices go down. In New York today top round is 58. Od. a lb., lamb chops fa: 18. The National Meat Council reports sales. down.
"OVERNOR ALFRED DRISCOLL of the State of New Jersey re- fused to turn over a Negro fugitive- from a chain gang to the State of South Carolina. Eleven years ago John Colier escaped. His attorney
"30 you still have those old churches and old antiques that get told Driscoll that his return would older every time they're mentioned; be "a living death." Coller has paid and you still have those little old his debt
to society, ruled the time-tables with little old trains on Governor. Let him go free. them that never run," said the lady from Atlanta. always thought of old churches that always, want money for repairs, and old antiques that cost the earth, and little old trains that don't run as symbols of British hospitality."
L
TN ALABAMA they are trying to
Instead of mules pulled ploughs at find out why Negro convicts the jall farm. Warden Frank Ros- well anys they hitched themselves up rather than koe..
It was such a simple idea
the
A South African company behind
walk down the high street and seederman mines in North lorry hard to the cast.
Then, lady from Atlanto, you can
THE. casualties caused by Captain Rolstrick, who drove some of the smashing new utility models in ye olde Indies' outfilters: Africa had become serious by or rather, ye ladies' olde outfiters: the summer of 1941 and or, even better from an American's officer, lecturing to troops, ask point of view, visit ond of yo hundred-and-one olde
ed them to send in ideas on how antique shoppes.
to deal with them.
SLY
for dealing with mines. the lies was also trying out ideas
Berry's device was heard of and was rescued from a dump.
the
A team of South Africans of all major-general and a corporal, fitted a fail to a Matilda.
In any one of these everything will become
One, Captain du Tolt of 200 years older and South African Army, had a brala ranks, including a hear your voice. twice the price the moment they wave.
Lunch
ARE you going back to the gay
Metropolis by train, lady from Atlanta, or staying for, ye delicious olde worlde cottage pie lunch at ye olde inne?
it you are going by train, you must repair to ye olde nine, tot only to pay your bill and hand out ye tippes, but also to look up yo olde worlde time-table of ye olde worlde British Railways,
"Scorpion" the first North Africa inodel
Why not xa revolving drum on two girders in front of a tank and thrash the ground with heavy you will look up
The result of this will be that chains?
a train Queen Victoria used to catch
Ie when she
made some sketches. Ile was staying in the town, but which was a motor engiacer in private was cancelled in 1902.
life and he fixed up a drum with chains to be revoived by a lorry engine.
And if you must know what til's made of, it's made of bone scrap and alleged meat extract. ings, plate-leavings, old potatoes,
.
of
& de-
They worked in the desert be- hind canvas to hide their work trom the Arabs.
Mechanical difficultles cropped up-engines overheated, falls 100 heavy, methods of driving inter- fered with fighting efficiency.
When the 20 felis thrashed the sand the tank crew were blinded and lie engines choked with dust. The prototype was named the Scorpion..
General Montgomery thers ordered 24 of them; and, as he looked over the desert towards Rommel's men, he quoted: "My father hath chastised you with whips, but shall chasise you with Scorpions." Twenty-four fall tanks wero ready two days before the battle of El Alamein.
I
Their effect upon the moralo of the troops was immense.
They were used only. at night. and the Germans could not under- stand what was destroying their mincs,
as the Crab, which could deal with mines on undulating ground, Was used in the Normandy landings.
In England the fail tank known
Therefore, you will miss the London train now running and will have to stay for ye olde cottage ple General Auchinleck saw poor coltagers used to eat it. They realised its possibilities and sent du Coltage pic is so called because monsiration film of the operation, ate it because they couldn't afford Toit and his drawings to England. anything better.
Orders were given for
experi- stopped because ments in the Middle East to be It could also foll machine-gun technical resources and the fear of
inadequate nests in ditches and hedges. "a leak" to the enemy.
FOOTNOTE: The Royal Commis-. sion on Awards to laventors re- creased.
But casualties from
minus. in commended recently the grant.c At last a Brilish officer, Colonel ing Ave South Africans, for
·£20,000 tax free to ten men, inclu Berry, turned blind сус on invention of the flat, tank. regulations and started experiment-
1 Major a fall device fixed, on
and Licut.-Colonel lorry. ment, which was only saved from
Rommel Interrupted this experi- B.A.OR., £1,000. captura by the enterprise
Before the cottage pie, you will get some canned soup with plenty of hot water in it. With the coltage and bolled potatoes.
the
a stomach muscle reaching for the ing about the good old days and 'ple you will have some wet grcensing again in a desert, workshop with A. S. J.. du Toit receives £13,000,
the food they used to cat,
"So you still have bedside lamps
They may even make a few, dirty that won't
If you ask for a salad on the side work or are out of cracks about Marshall ald, which they'll think you want it on a chair reach," said the lady from Atlanta, ought to make you feel at home. or on the mantelshelf,
Silent Watchman
NANCY
I HEAR THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF ROBBERIES AROUND HERE LATELY
&
of
By Ernie Bushmiller
THAT OUGHT
BALD SPOTS!.
TO LOOK
GOOD
FROM
THE STREET
NA
Berry,-
R. G. Lloyd.
Don't let this. happen to you!
START USING.
Frichs
DANDRUFF REMOVER··
*IDEAL
SHAMPOO
HAIR TONIO
Oh Bale at Leading Stores."
SHOPOUTE MAN KANG COLUMNYABIA