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In this story of the fabulous Flying McDonalds... and the girl all four loved!

"For goodness sake, Veya, stop worrying about England and the Russians and relax."

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

USA. VI

Sitting on the

to

Yet further advice foreign visitors on what to expect and what to do when in Britain.

A

Honesty

MONG

illusions

many cherished by the British

people is the illusion that they have the highest standards of honesty in the world.

Fence

by NATHANIEL

GUBBINS

As an Eglishman, born in Eng-

Morarji Wants To Clean Up

By Gerald J. Rock BOMBAY There is a Hindu named Morarji Desal here who has started a 20-year plan to clean up the morals of 25,000,000 people.

Morarji is a non-drinker. He is a non- smoker. He is a vegetarian. He is also the Home Minister of Bombay Province.

He is the boss of the police, the film censor board and a brief case full of other portfolios.

While other bosses around the world are concerned with Communism, Socialism, Fascism and Democracy, Morarji' is concentrating on a "state of morality."

Ho has already started taking liquor away from his 25,000,000 constituents. The province has three "dry days" a week now. On April 1, 1950, total prohibition goes into effect.

Gambling of all kinds will be illegal. The world's oldest profession will be extinct because Morarji's laws will close Bombay's red light districts tight. -

Dancing "after 10 or 11 p.m." in hotels, clubs and other public places will be forbidden.

"People must have healthy minds," Morarji said. "To have healthy minds, they must have healthy bodies. They must get plenty of sleep."

Local-Public kouse,

Even Hollywood's movie pro- ducers are taking P scrubbing in Morarjl's moral washing machine. He mys ho wants to eliminate everything that might "arouse the people's passiona" He thinks that a bathtub full of Paulette Goddard or Dorothy Lamour or any other lithesome actress might do Just that. So the movie censors wash out the bathtub and shower scenes.

Passionate kissing falls into the same category.

"I can't stand those passionate kisses in your. American movies," Morarji 'told this correspondent. So

One for the road-Last drink "ases of a prolonged nature," in (you hope)..

A binder-The same.

A lark-Splʊ's business deal. It makes a nice, change-Expres- alon of any relief from monotony. A nice little break-The same. "Nice" is the word most frequently uttered in England and can be used to describe anything from a cup of tea to a royal wedding.

As an example of the well-known native understatement "a nice little Break" could describe a trip round the world.

the terminology of the film censor beard, are out. Short pecks are still tolerated, even though kissing never Is shown in an Indian motion plc- ture.

Liquor is giving the foreign movie distributors their biggest headache so far. For a while the censor board permitted the presence of a bar or a bottle in a film, although the act ofrly a year.

a drink has been taboo for

YOU would ece an actor pour a drink. He would take hold of the full glass, start raising it to his mouth. But it never got there. The censor got there Orst. Down came the glass empty without ever reach- ing the lips.

It is one of the few clean games At this moment, with the country land, who has been diddled by left because money-spinners have full of spivs, black marketeers, and Englishmen, Irishmen, Scotsmen, left it alone. It is the truest ex under-the-counter operators; with Wolshmen, Americans, Frenchmen, pression of the British character at the police run off their plates. of Belgians, Algerians, Italians,

and its best. meat (cockney rhyming slang for even Channel Islanders, let me as-

There is no space to tell you all feet) chasing robbers .over

roof

sure you that, so far as honesty la When playing cricket fair play" about cockney rhyming siang. but teps, down alley ways, and along concerned, we are no better or worse somebody starts body-line bowling. his "Hampstends"

really means something, unless if you hear anybody referring to But now even the presence of a the hot-so-broad highways in

he means his bar or bottles in n 'scurie Is out un- so-high-powered cars, only a people than anybody else, unless you count

when cricket is hardly dis teeth Tompstead Heath. His less "cutting the scene would capable of Infinite self-deception Armenians.

tinguishable from attempted "Margates" are his hands Margate destroy the continuity of the story" could imagine for a moment that

homicide.

Sands. His eyes are his "mirices or unless the scene shows the "evils they are the most honest people in

of drink." little break at the mince pics,

Here's hoping you will have a nice Murders, marital infidelity, "sor- William Tell, hotel with plenty of terms are on Morarji's black list.- "William"did" films and "shoot-em-up" wes-

good "pigs"-pig's car, beer.

United Preas.

the world.

Of course it might be argued that

There are no

bones1 though there are a few honest men nations,

In all nations,

If you happen to meet one at any

losers are cheered as heartily as the It is the only game in which the winners, One reason for this may

only in a country with honest inten- time, please let me know, I am a be that the game goes on so long flons would the police chase robbers collector, without a single specimen that nobody is sure who has wor so ardently, unless it was to share so far, their swag; that in a truly dishonest markets would community black flourish openly and under-the-

counter operators would bo patronised by the most respected citizens in the Stale..

This does not happen in Britain Black marketeers aro 80 despised that they are usually thought to be foreigners

Sport

*

*

Football was borrowed eagerly by PORT is an English word which foreigners because it looked like a describes any outdooractivity battle. They thought that sport, from shooting wild elephants in the particularly football, was the secret jungle to having a chilling each way of our success in war. on the favourite at the races.

As all Imitators are, failures, they There are those who, take part in have made a complete mess of The highest standard of integrity sports and those who look on. The football. Although by patient effort is required of public men, even if first are called sportsmen, the second they have learned all the tricks (the the rabble is on the fiddle,

*

Bull,

sports, though anybody who cares to dirty ones frat); and although they look on at a wild elephant shoot win many matches against us, the could be described as a sportsman.

A sportsman is expected to have spirit of the game has cluded them. To some of the lesser breeds, who courage and take risks with life and are not so hot in real war, football The idea that we are more honest limb. A sport is expected to have as become a real battle, with armed than others springs, no doubt, from just enough courage to risk the polico out and machine guns the symbolic Aguro of the typical housekeeping money on an outsider. mounted at strategle points. Englishman, honest John whose existence was os imaginary The English invented nearly all Boxing, another British Invention, as his honesty.

Comes with bat and ball (or Just was also

sport before with ball with a few silly excep- foreigners muscled into it. Probably at one time a few over- ttons like lacrosse end ping pong. fed characters went about dressed The Scots are believed to have in- In the bare knuckle days, when It was called prize-fighting, the first like man to sham defent

the until backers put their money on him was n foreigner. Since then boxing hus become the dirty racket it is today.

up like that. but if being typlest vented golf, though they have in- means ropresenting the majority, vented he was certainly not typical.

man wag

whisky.

pleasanter things,

.

*

The majority were poorly dressed or in rags, half-starved or starving, while this unpleasant stuffing himself with beef, going re-

Football, one of our earliest games, gularly to church, and being rude to was invented hundreds of years ago, with the idea of hardening young men for battle.

the poor.

It seems likely that ho represented the merchant or gentleman farmer (that is, a farmer who doesn't farm) Although we are not a milltary class, and had some kind of com- nation, we have been at war, on'and mercial bourgeois honesty of which off, for more than 1,000 years. he was very proud.

pong.

cloan 0

30

THAT'S THE AGE WHEN

A MAN'S

OUTLOOK

.

CHANGES

PINCHER most In'

the 'mid-

he

by CHAPMAN OR two years Britain's foremost flourishes

psychologist, Sir Frederic thirties and early forties. "Planning Bartlett, of Cambridge University, is a symptom of middle age," has been leading a research team lo saya." find out if there is any particular

the "Our experiments show that age at which a man's mind under- goes a decisive change.

older men get the more blind they

their become to faults, in

plans. He has discovered that there 18. And they become more and more The critical age is around 30.

reluctant to admit that their planaing' can be the cause of failure to solve a problem quickly.”

* ★

In London recently, before an audience of front-rank scientists and doctors, Sir Frederic gave the first report of his experiments, conducted with several hundred people of all The ftles, too, have their prob- lems. Tho Cambridge experiments ages. So you can see that if we had

They suggest that after 30 there is show that around the 60-mark in ourselves we a defnite drop in a man's working men another change in mental kept our sports to would have had a much jouter time efficiency because of some mental attitude takes place. and been world champions at change which upsets long-established everything but lacrosse and ping habits; and, that in the late thirties

Once again the normal man ands. there is another "pick-up in himself in for a period of read- efficiency."

Justment towards his work and life It is between these two periods generally, the 30 mark and the few years which Example: The man whose job follow It-that a man's attitude to is of a semi-mechanical nature life takes the decisive shape, and his gradually Anda himself relying broad capacity for adult work is more and more on human aids (e.g., establisheli.

sub- sight) and less and less Sir Frederic has a word to say conscious splitude for the job.

FOOTNOTE Sir Frederic would the State, vart the Personal, not

variety.

what It is a com- not venture an opinion on monplace, of course, that increasing goes on in a woman's mind at 30. Not "We have not tried the tests on ge brings increasing caution. so generally established is Frederic's women yot," he said. "But I expect dalm that the magnetism of wo shall"

Glossary

Cricket was invented in the reign N order to help foreign visitors This dazzling honesty meant that of Queen Anre, in the county of understand native expressions, it a foreigner ordered somethlag Kent, for apparently no reason at the following interpretations of a und paid for it the commodity would all. They just wanted to hit a ball few are offered:— be delivered as specified. Which with a bat, so they hit a ball with was no more than good business, if bat, making up the rules or they you wished to remain in business.

went along.

For some unexplained reason, he regarded this as a virtue peculiar to As a foreign visitor you are ad- himself. Hence "Honest John Bull," vised to give up bothering about and fiddle-sticks to the crafty cricket. Only British people under- foreigner who, was doing exactly the stand it and they don't care if you same thing.

Ilke it or not.

Couldn't care Icss-Don't care at

care for that Couldn't

about

all.

I rather care more.

Roper - No good (American planning your future is not supreme- but ly the addiction of youth, *corney!")

• Sir Frederic la 62 himself.

BLAZE of NOON

starring

Anne Baxter William Holden Sonny Tufts

William Bendix Sterling Hayden Howard Da Silva

OPENS

TO-MORROW!

A PARAMOUNT PICTURE

Bükk salony Benda a Jaya Mahila Bánh xing.

| Directed Bry’JOIN FARROW

“ TO THE VICTOR ”

Viveca LINDFORS Dennis MORGAN

NANCY

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