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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 1948.
·SMITH
SLIPPY
LITTLE CHARLES BOGGS
"THERE'S THAT CARROT CHEWER AGAIN TAKING NOTES. WHATS HE UP TO ? "*
"WORKING OUT A SYSTEM,PRAPS,
*I SHALL KEEP MY EYE ON THE BOOKMAKERS CRIPPS on BEBB Tax (Copyright la
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
Sitting on the
Here is some further advice to foreign visitors on what to expect and What to do when in Britain.
.:..
Women
THE British attitudo to- wards women and the male approach" to the- female depends on which pocial drawer the male came out of ----- top, middle or bottom,
./
If he came out of the top drawer ho usually marries a woman who also came out of the top drawer, though, in the early part of this century, it became fashionable to marry a glamour girl from the chorus, thus providing her with a title and providing him with the first beautiful and Intelligent children seen in the family for many bundreds of years.
If the top drawer Briton marries one of his own class It doesn't matter
alike and have
which
Fence
by NATHANIEL GUBBINS
PROBLEM FOR THE REPUBLICANS::
WIN THE WHITE HOUSE LOSE THE SENATE?
By Harry W. Frantz
United Press Staff Correspondent
T. State Senate will have political importance HE struggle for a majority in the United
second only to the choice of President in the national political campaigns `already', under way.
~Tho possibility already looms that victory of either a Republican or Democratic Prosidential candidate on November 2 may not be accom- panied by the same party's control of the Senate..
There is in fact, a distinct uneasiness in some Republican political circles lost the party might gain the Presidency while losing the present small majority in the Senate. This would prolong the split between Congress and the Chief Executive that has marked the 80th: Con- gress, and make more difficult the fulfilment of an effective foreign policy.
Ordinarily, returns for the House of Representatives give a majority to the same party that wins the Presidency. The 485 mem- hers of the House are all elected for two-year terma. But members of the Senate have a six-year term, and one-third of 90 members of the upper Cham- ber are elected at two-year intervals, hence the popularity
Presi of dential candidate does not affect a majority of Senate seats at any one election...
tween their dentures. It means that in the controversy: "Should hanging bo abolished?" they came out strongly on the side of hanging.
CONTESTED SEATS
At the present time, the Republ!" cans have 51 and Democrats 45 (including: Senator Glen Taylor of Idaho who recently became a can- didate for Vice-Presidency ; on Wallace's Third Party). Thirty-two members of the Upper Chamber are to be elected this year.
Among the 32 Senate seats to bo Those with the smallest knowledge contested this year, 14 are now oc- of religious history should not be cupled by Democrats, and 10 by surprised. Bishops have always Republicans. Of the 14 Democratie been rather more bloodthirsty than seats, all represent southern states ordinary citizens, though not so except four Senatora from Now bloodthirsty ns, say, Genghis Khan, Mexico, Montana, Rhode Island and Colorado respectively. All reason. able prospects are that the Demo- re-elected crats will be elected or from the southern sintes.
Even in savage tribes the most savage of them all are the priests, the high priest being the worst of tha lot,
The Republicans thus have the pos- sibility of making gains above pre- sent Senate strength in four states, and In those four the Democrats will
As there are hardly any good and were full of beer and sausages. cooks in the country his chances They were just a lot of funny foreign are small and his digestion ruined, uncles which is known as Industrial unrest.
Then they invaded Belgium and The ine approach of the bottom became Attila's Huns overnight.
Senato, fght irrespective of drawer Briton
Lower ranks officiating in the 101have strong candidates and put up a to the female is more.
Now it's the Russians. They were religions tolerated with good humour Presidential prospects. direct and might infrequently be particularly funny because they in Britain are mild enough. They On the other hand, 18 of the seats mistaken for...an ússault.
always
carried bombs In their are poorly paid, under-nourished, to be contested in the November It takes the form of pushing, pockets, and, as comir aples, were and frequently the victims of scan elections are now occupied by Re- shoving. cuding, and the throwing always good for a laugh,
dalous gossip inspired by their plous publicans,
and most political of fruit, vegetables, and sweatments.
observers think that the Democrats They have had their funny period, flocks. This techalque lo continued in have passed through their plucky morried life when the shoving and period and are now in their dan bloaters and sausages as a sure-fire Democraile candidate appears
may recapture at least fow of At one time ranking with the them. It is even probable. that If the cuffing becomes serious and more gerous period.
to be music-holl joke, they are now trailing" in a later, singe of the ghung back in a sincere and honest campaign, some of the state political
may make
... effort to be taken seriously by organisations cynical though not wicked
com-greatest effort to save or gain Senate munity.
[ scats.
HARDEST FIGHTS Until they become as other men, discarding their special clothes and In
Which means that, in well-orderea pok mu he marries, as they all violent and fruit and vegetables
дго replaced by erockery and British minds, they have been tem- kitchen utensils.
porarily filed under "Foreigners Unpopular."
same. voices. The male approach is formal and casual, with the implied suggestion that it doesn't matter much either way; that one is sort of getting married because one does that sort of thing, and it's sort of good for ona's health, I mean.
summer.
Foreigners
THE British people are kind 10 foreigners, though not so kind as they are io dogs. It would not be an exaggeration to say that they prafer dogs.
Because Americans and the s011- not regarded as foreigners, however thern Irish speak English, they aro stoutly they may regard themselves as stich.
Those at lucky enough to Have private: Incomes and some ancient family retainers (now rapidly dying out and irreplaceable). spend their frigid years together shooting and hunting birds and animals to death: The delusion that most Americans In the winter and poisoning copder are of 'British. descent and have,.' pests in the
British names still persists among Apart from these distinguishing those who have never been to marks, most of them are generous,.
America. hospitable, courageous, and cour To the British people foreigners teous, good to their young, and de- „proper fall into two categories. They voted to all animals except those are either funny or dangerous, ac-" marked down for slaughter.
cording to what is happening in Britons out of the middle drawer the world at the time. have a wider choice of marriageable funny 50 years ago.
For instance, the Japanese were women, and therefore demand a
They carried higher standard of beauty and in- light opera.
fans, wore kimonos, and got Into
telligence.
for
Although their, approach may be When they carried gune instead Just as casual-a muttered word on of fans we didn't think this WDA n golf course of a take-it-or-leave-it very funny, but as they were not proposal in a bar-they are fro-inds, but were knocking seven Influenced by the film tech- kinds of stuffing out of the Russians, nique of love-making, so that the We had the same admiration
them as we still had for David in puzzled victim of this approach may the David versus Goliath often wonder if she is supposed to
contest. give an amateur performance of a "plucky little Japs" as
From then on they became the banker's daughter in a New York penthouse or a gangster's Moll.
the "funny little Japs." It was not However the marriage is achieved, they were the "dirly little Japs."
until the last war that we discovered the results are usually the same.
Having nailed down her man, the Woman
elther neglects her appear ance and becomes slut,
distinct from
The French also had their funny and dangerous periods. They were dangerous during the French revo
adrollly divests herself of all sex
of lution and Napoleon's "wars.
appeal and becomes as plain and years of being either funny
Since then they enjoyed nearly 150 wholesome as an Englishman's din-
ner.
plucky.
or
Having nolled down his woman,
Tents of laughter would run down the man spends the rest of his life, stove pipe hats and said. "Oh la la," our faces when they ate spalls, wore avoiding her by hiding in clubs,
In fact the observant foreign Tears of emotion toured down the visitor will notice that the whole same stolid British dials when they country is full of clubs, full of became pallus, marching with kettles, Englishmen avoiding Englishwomen, spare boots, and yards of bread on their packs, and singing an internin- ablo song about their aunts, The Briton out of the bottom. 1014. In fact, they wore the funniest The Germans were funny before drawer usually marries, or intends of the lot. They had square heads, to marry good cook.:
wore thick glasses, smoked big pipes
NANCY Calling Her Shots
BEHIND THAT BILLBOARD
IS THE MEANEST, NASTIEST
OLD GOAT IN TOWN--
-MAYTIR
AS
Religion
their
A scared by references in
a foreign visitor you may be special voices, this will never hap-theoretically face the prospect of As
pen.
newspapers to "bloodthirsty Eut bishops."
the
event, the Democrats losing only a few Senate seats, while as they are as British as a baving the possibility of gaining British pillar-box they will go on will remain disconcerting to Republi- mare, and the numerical situation This does not mean that bishops trying the hard way world without are-running-wild with knives be--end--
|ton campaign managers The hardest fights for Senate seats are expected to occur in Kansas, Min- nesota, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Illinois, Colorado, Kentucky and Rhode Island,
ЭТАМІЯЯ
ЯЗГАНАМ
"When I sont old Spencer that fake telegram telling him he'd won £50,000 in the Pools. I didn't think ho'd react like this 7"
By Ernio Bushmiller
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS
HERE 7
BALD SPOTS!
Among present members of the United States Senate, five already have withdrawn from the Senate race this year. They wore Senators Wallace H.
White, Republican. Maine, Senate majority door leader, who has been ill; Senator Albert W. Hawkes, Republican, New Jersey Senator Carl A., Hatch, Democrat, New Mexico, who
nwalts
appoint
ment, to a judicial post; Senator Ed- Ward
H. Moore, Republican Oklahoma; and Senator Harlan
Bushfeld, Republican, South Dakota.
Senator Arthur Capper, veteran. Republican Senator from Kansas, will again be a candidate, after ser vice in Senate extending. back to 1910.
PROSPECTS
Senator Kenneth S. Wherry, Re- publican of Nebraska, majority whip in the upper chamber, la conceded a fair prospect of re-election.
Long-term prospects also are re- garded favourable for Senator Homer Ferguson, Republican, Michl- gan, lender of recent Senato investi- gating committees: Senator Leverett Saltonstall, Republican, Massachu setts, former Governor of that stale; and Senator Styles Bridges, Republi can, New Hampshire, chief of the Senate
Infernational in-
will be the sults of Senatorial election in Minnesota where Senator
Јовера. Н. Ball, Republican, will try to succeed himself. Ball, after
of extins Committee,
terest in
appointment to the Senate to All a vacancy in 1942, was re-elected. In same year for a six-year term. Ho has been a powerful figure in labour legislation. and Senate debates on foreign polley,. Including the Marshall plan.
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