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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH,' WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 1948.
"Dad-the nice man next door said ho'd giva mo sixponco' it I'd put some red ink in your tank."
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
P
Sitting on the Fence
ROGRESS report for
seven days following the. Budget.
The following resolutions were made the morning the new taxes were published:~~~
No alcoholic drinks to be taken till after sundown. Even then no drinks to be accepted from anybody or bought for anybody.
As a
defence measure against women, no cigarettes to be carried in A smaller number of cheaper cigarettes to be smoked in
atc. As further
a
defence
the pocket.
by NATHANIEL GUBBINS
to
women, a pipe to be smoked women if all men refused to buy
anybody a drink and refused in public.
methods give anybody a cigarette. 1j above money-saving fall, no money to be carried any- where except en journeys to pay jares.
First day
for
As most bars are now filled with women, standing or situng around, helplessly waiting for somebody to buy them something or give them
something to swallow
They would remember that at
And, of all things, stopping at the hotel for lunch.
Oddly enough, they were out of cigarettes, too, Even the P.L.W. sald one couldn't keep to resolu- tious when old friends arrived.
So we are now taking you over the hotel at 12.15 p.m. on the fourth day after the Budget.
Yet another resolution gone.
Fifth day
TWO HEALTH CONGRESSES
By DR. GEORGE GRETTON THE health of all peoples is fundamental to the attainment of peace and security," declares the draft constitution of the World Health Organisation. For some years Britain has realised this, for the great strides she is making towards economic prosperity and social stability can only be maintained if maximum attention is paid to the welfare of her citizena.
During the coming summer two inter- national conferences will be held in London to discuss the health of people all over the world, in their jobs' as well as their homes. In. September, doctors from 20 nations are meeting for the first congress since the second World War of the permanent International Commis- sion for Industrial Medicine.
Under the presidency of Mr Winston Churchill's doctor, Lord Moran, they will talk over a wide range of problems arising from the complexity of modern working conditions in industry, in shops, in ships, and on the land, Coal mining and its attendant dangers will naturally loom large on the agenda as will other dangerous trades. Other matters for discussion include clinical and nursing attention and the effects of en- vironment on working folk.
and
A month earlier, Industrial medicine will also be on the agenda of the International Conferenca on Mental Health, which starts its Bessions in August. Mental health 18 an extremely brood important subject. At this conference representatives of 45 countries will be debating questions of psychology, psychiatry and sociology in the hope that they can make come contribution towards helping the ordinary Individual wherever he or she may liyo, A special rection of the conference will consider mental health in in- dustry and Its concomitant lem of industrial relations.
sneezing all over the place,' blowing their noses and cousing more troublo⚫ at
where the laundry, there's usually enough trouble na it is.
So let the resolutions ride. Moat of them are broken.
Sixth day
WWAIT a bit. There's one more W money-saving idea to try out. Going around without any money, just like women and millionaires.
Your Uncle Nat went into a bar nothing in his pockets, with
even a cigarette.
not
It just happened there was no- body he knew in the bar so he felt rather foolish.
When asked what he would like he went as red as a peony and said: "I have no money.”
"That's all right," they "your credit's good."
said,
At that moment a lot of people he did know came in and his credit was good for them, too. Also for carry a packet of cigareties. They had pipes, brought their women.
oll This would not only make chaps feel extremely sick, but in
would be of the market.
Seventh day
ΟΣ smoke, what would they do if they were to offered nothing but conversation? THIS day was spent wolting
sundown, and wondering what Your Uncle Nat's guess is that was going to happen on Midsummer they would first try to shame some- Day, when the sun doesn't go down body into pushing the boat out by It till almost closing time.
furnbling in their handbags.
chapa refused to There were also some reflections this didn't work (that is if they TF all
cigarettes and smoked on Eskimos. If they kept to this were allowed to buy themselves a rule they would have no drinics in drink like everybody else) they soon all women would be smoking
treating pipes, try to revive the the surnmer, but what a binge they would could have in the winter, when the
offering hospitality all habit by sun went down for six months.
round. also The day
furtively spent smoking cigarettes at the top of the
If this was met with refusal what a few weeks pipe-smoking tobacco No more resolutions to keep. house. This was a mean defence against Life Partner, the Plucky would they do then?
work. Little Woman, but it didn't
The FLAW. has two methods of tack is the best defence and ask
is to somebody for a cigarette. scrounging cigarettes. One
"Nat's all over your Uncie pockets with her hands, licea And It all the chaps plucked up policeman searching_ desperate their courage and shouted back in character for arms. The other is to unison: "On account of the Bud- walk round his room humming, and get we are not buying any drinks tidy things up. or giving away any cigarettes," the pretending
When her hum gets louder he women would be defeated. knows
has found D half-
long Qu the chaps didn't papera empty packet under some
weaken, the bars of England would or in a dressing-gown pocket.
OB this occasion she chose the be cleared of women in a week or second method. Her hum got so two, because women don't believe loud he knew she had found some in wasting money on liquor unless thing good. It was nearly a full it's somebody else's packet, his post-Budget ration for the day.
run
she
Second day
DS
There would also be a shortage of pipes, pipe cleaners, and tobacco
pouches.
women
Therefore it is much better.to give way on this cigarette business and stuff your pockets full of them. Anything is better than sucking pipes and making incoherent noise talking through them.
might be a After all, one with a wife and seven grown-up daughters all smoking like clum- which- neys-cigarettes or plpes, ever he had in his pockets.
The poor devil might take to but then 10 would they,
Except for the prices we would soon be back to the good old days snuff. when only really naughty girls were seen in bars and chaps could have
ND two or three minutes longer a little peace. A than yesterday.
But your Uncle Nat has little
What about innking a compromise faith in the resolution of chaps so on lighting-up time? That's just far as this sort before sundown, or is it just after? cerned.
As a matter of fact, it's about half an hour
of thing is con-
Instinct, tradition and habit are. later. but wouldn't that ranged against
them. Their only make the resolution harder to keep hope of having a moderately cheap and, in the end, cheaper?
and happy evening is to form more Lighting-up something-or-other
time 招
p.m.,
not too
- eight- and more clubs and leave the bars
D
carly and not too late for a couple to women.
of right-caps, taken alone, and no hospitality from hearty
characters
•
On this night, at lighting-up time, who either live on credit or dodge a drink was bought and a cigarette their income tax.
Lighting-up time turns out to be given to the P. L. W. Another resolu-
right, of course. In fact, one could little joke almost make a jolly about it on the lines of "The Fleet's lit up."
Despite refusals and quite a liftia speech about saving money by a no-treating rule, the hearty charac ters laugh the whole thing off. One résolution gona,
tion gone.
Fourth day
IGHTING-UP
kcep. All
time,
liko
Eun-
Contury Ago
prob-
It Is Atting that London should have been chosen as tha.meeling place, for these health congresses in 1948, for it was just a century ago- In 1840-that the first English Public Health Act became law.
Today we take the public of
public authorities for services so much as
con-
health a matter of course, that it is almost impossible to appreciate that so, elementary a measure os the 1843 Bill should have produced such a tremendous troversy and outery. Its opponents belaboured it as the first step to- words revolution, and eminent the nation of statesmen: warned dira
which consequenceZ
would ensure if these radical health pro- posals were allowed to become law.
Yet judged by our 20th century standards, the Act was totally in- to adequate. Il set out merely supply a simple skeleton basis for sanitary services and its provisions, so ungelatably revolutionary to a part. of the population, large
mainly concerned with sup- were
for plying drains and facilities sanitation and coop.
However, it was a beginning. During the past 100 years, nations. all over the world have come to aC- cept their responsibilities for public health services and allied activities.. Your defeated Uncle might as The great social welfare legislation well refresh himself at sunset, carried out by Britain during re- up his cent years-town and country plann- lighting-up time, or open
cabinet when the moon ing. food subsidies, public assistance cocktali rises at 8.20 am, or when the moon measures, family allowances and the sots at 2.17 a.m. tomorrow.
new all embracing National Health He might as well keep it up when Aet which becomes operative in "It's high
water at London Bridge Juty owes its origin to a determined or when it's high water at Dover years ago. So, too, does industrial (between 5.24 a.m. and 5.40 p.m.): bend of new forgotten people 100 (between 2.45 am and 3.1 p.m.). medicine. Today organisations such
the Ho might as well buy all
as the British Medical Research on medical research women he knows a pipe each now Council carry -a big one they can fill with opium into industry through hospitals and
blow hashish, and
bubbles universities in London and
of the large manufacturing And they can smoke their pipes of the United Kingdom. al sunrise or sunset, moonrise or moonset, or when it's high water anywhere, and go and drown them- scives.
man
or
through.
WONDER DRUG GOES
DOWN THE DRAINS
on the and
by CHAPMAN PINCHER
many centres.
Nation's Well-being
Research and practice of medical sclence in industry, in common with. all public health services, are justi- fled on humanitarian grounds alone. But that they also benefit the nation ih a material manner is shown by the fact that today Britain's inen and women ara resolutely setting out to produce more than ever be- tore both for home consumption and export.
be
Yet no one would suggest there is OCTORS have decided that for developed resistance of germs to the not room for improvement. A ro- port published during the last few months we have been throwing drug. A
drains some down factory
of the
Three years ago a team of British weeks on the population of Britain powerful germkilling components of medical researcher led by Dr. H. advocates many ways in which the
the Roland Segar at Wellhouse well-being of the people can penicillin.
further advanced. Issued by a non- Hospital, Barnet, Herts, claimed re- Testa
terms of blood markable cures with a crude extract party and independent organisation poisoning
pneumonia have m
Their work of the penicillin mould.
called Political and Economic Plann- shown that the powers of impure was largely ignored, but Frenching, it covers a wide field of sug- penicillin are. between two and
doctors followed it up and reported gestions by which men and women those of three times greater than the pure drug. Other experiments that penicillin "wastes" neutralise can become healthier and happier at
the polsons set-free in the blood by home and at work. have shown that some successes are
the germs of diphtheria, lock-Jaw, and blood-polsoning.
down, is getting later and later, due entirely to "impurities" and not making this resolution harder to to the refined penicillin.
Recently doctors have been com- that is needed now is the plaining that the drug is being over- arrival of some old friends at mid-purified, and it is certainly far less day, old friends just passing through effective in combating germs and stopping at the hotel for lunch the less pure war-time product.
Of course, the old friends MOST of this day spent in secret
The manufacturers believe this in relieve smoking and wandering what rived. They were just passing
due to tho gradually penicillin. way somewhere, entirely would happen to the social life of through on their
Third day.
NANCY
Gagging the Laughs
THIS IS SUCH A FUNNY PROGRAM HA HA HA
BLA
LT-
[BLA HIS PROGRAM
HA-HA-HA-HO HA-HAW
HA
BLA
IS SPONSORED BY THE GLUGG SOAP COMPANY
than
So when delegates from all over the world come to London this sum- On the basis of all this evidence mer to discuss industrial medicine to the British Medical Journal-official and mental health, they should find
their surroundings organ of the British Medical Assocla- much in tion has recommended that manu stimulate and Interest them. Certain facturers should revert to the older it is that the published results of methods of production. This would their deliberations will be of great of benefit to doctors and industrialists the present
everywhere.
By Ernie Bushmiller
shortage
I FEEL GUILTY LAUGHING -- WE
BALD SPOTS!
DON'T USE THEIR SOAP
84A
Don't let this happen to you!
Fitch's
START USING
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