2
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TO-DAY
KINGS
• AIR-CONDITIONED
THE LUSTY LIFETIME OF A GENTLEMAN. WHO WAS SOMETIMES
Quite a Rogue!
Dueling-hunting big game-one pretty girls-illa's a grand adventure with
At 2.30, 5.15,
1.20 & 9.30 p.m.
Colonel Blimp
TO-DAY
ONLY
OPELOVEZANO ADVEN ECHNICOLOR
RELEASED BY EAGLE-LION ·
QUEEN'S
THE HONGKONG' TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 1947.
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
Sitting on the
rF you are a new reader of
you.
this column you have one
or two shocks coming to
Old readers may have told you that it is a funny column. Don't you believe it. Occt- sionally it is funny by accident, occasionally by design, bút, as a matter of fact, it is one of the few columns in British journal- iam which is not consistently funny.
Other columns claim to be trank, fearless, outspoken. This column is not only frank. tearless and out- spoken. It is downright brutal.
It has no finesse. It does not al- tack people and things with furtive hints and sly Innuendoes. It hits them smack in the eye.
Before the war it was hurling in sults at Hiller and Mussolini, while certain other columns wero prals- ing them.
It could name the columus which praised Hitler and Mussolini, I chuld look them up on the Gles and give dales and quotations.
But, on this occasion, it will hold merciful. When it hand and be you start looking things up on files you never know where it will end.
Leaps Down
Fence
by NATHANIEL
... GUBBINS
་་
or notice either.
Political party
Sometimes the column ia pro- Get it off your chest and be hop- phetic. Last July. When brend py. The column won't take offence rationing was being criticised, asked: "What will the critics say we have the worst harvest in T
Answering itself, the colum "Nothing. If they are whe." plied,
the Well, we have had one of worst harvests in history and the critics, so far, have been wise. The column will leave it at that.
As soon as it could be published atomic bomb was after the first dropped on Japan the column snid: "This either means a world govern- ment or no world at all.".
uf
Almost every statesman' on earth has said it since, though each had his own Ideas on what form
14 government
be. would
And although statesmen have said It, it
POLITICALLY, the colunin sits on is still true.
the fence, as its name implies. though occasionally it leaps down to take sides.
•
So there you are, new readers. A Although its viows are not those
column that is fearless, forthright, At 2.30, 5.15,
of this newspaper, it can expresa
though it frank, brutal and even boastful, as what views if likes,
It has no inhibitions, m. normally
expresses political you can see.
of a dog worshippers will And opinions only under the stress
Inter. great indignation.
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Barring libel, indecency, and treason, it has absolute freedom to say what it thinks about anything or anybody. And does.
out
And if there's anything you don't like about it, please don't hesitate
Please to write in.
don't.
IN RUSSIA TO-DAY-
JACK TANNER
Young people get key jobs
Women at work
THE Soviet Union lost seven TH
million men in the war. In many light engineering fac tories today the majority of the workers are women, and even In heavy engineering plants women workers average be- tween 45-00 percent total employed..
"norm:"
we saw boards
the
AS the column seems to be main A ly about Itself it would like to point out that it once A political party.
created
It was called "A Sock On the Jaw All Round Party" and its aims were as simple as its tille. There was only one member-Itself.
As. most people at the time ap- this peared to be talking nonsense. party thought it would clear the air if everybody had a sock on the Jaw
women included,
· Every now and then hew readers may see the fragedy of the un- wanted, inadequate wife as portray- ed by the Sparrows, or the tragedy of the dominated, Ineffectual hus- band, as portrayed in This Diary of. a Worm.
Occasionally the column be comes boisterous and railer beery, though by naturo ít 'Is anything but bolsterous, and never drinks beer because heer makes it feel sick.
These lopacs Into low comedy are friendly gesture to allowed as a those who prefer low comedy, and are Illustrated by imaginary con- versations with real Sweep
The column regret that it has sometimes been catty-so catly that people have thought it was written by a woman.
This is not only untrue, but unfair to women. Anybody who Is П member of a club for men.only will know that the male can be more deadly than the femalo.
much
Incidentally, it is the only column animals who frequently read by write polite letters to it, airing their grlevnnces.
Atomic age
POCKET CARTOON]
|býOSBERT, LANCASTER]
"Another year, Fauntleroy, perhaps you wiit remember that when your Colonel says Don't dress" he meant
Don't dress","
BY THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
What ANY people are asking if
Moneless
This was one of the few occa- slons when the column was trying WELL. that is the past for the deliberately to be funny (about the benefit of new readers.
cow meat British Union of Fascists, if it re- is a column to write about today?
not members rightly), but this did Today, most of the world seems from New Zealand is real bone- prevent a number of Indignant bushed, with a background of noise
less Cow. All my inquiries readers writing in calling it a cad in distant
have failed to elicit any and asiding it what it did in the last war. That would have been te
levant information. 1914-18 war.
But the idea of socking people instead of talking to them-or sock- ing them it they won't listen--still persists.
America.
re-
Britain, who thinks she saved the
I can hardly think that it would world, is mute in the bonds of aus-
be worth while importing bogus terity; Russia, who thinks she saved
the labour of the world, sits back, enormous, sus-boneless cow-and picious, watching and America,
erica, lleting a real cow would be put who thinks he saved the world, makes one think of a
us of all proportion do whatever I am nervous,
Baid
hysterical girl holding а hand talking about. As the man IF you can believe everything you
will when they brought him what they .read (and most people dn) the grenade, not knowing when it Negroes of America would like to go off and not knowing what to do called beef in a restaurant: "Wal- see Joe Louis, world heavy-weight with it.
ter, cut the cattle, and come to the champion boxer, the next President
horses."
of the United States.
On the other hand, it is true that A similar vision frightened the
he WRB Already Joc has been presiding
column during the war. when Colonel Dempster, when
In at political meetings, designed to
Clanton Expedition Home with the women wanted to join the arouse sympathy for American, Guard "and use all the weapons."
New Zealand, did discover a bone- iron- Negroes.
Wellington less cow in a
It turned out to two contortionists nomed, respectively, Entwistle and
▪;
the manger's shop. And who is going to save He has also been making
of world now, apart from that worldbe speeches, or rather one speech
five words, repeated over and over government recently mentioned?
gain. It is "Lend a hand to Dixie-
Everybody knows that staple and direct oratory has not been appre ciated in America since Lincoln's time; and there seems little doubt
thrown.
catcalls. Things may
-
bc
Despite the assurances of Uncle Dr. Rhubarb's corner
Farr.
remain II. L. writes; I used to wear a long
gleally nervous of Russla of Russia. cardboard nose to amuse the kids.
Joe Stalin, tiose who are patholo- pathologically nervous And will remain so.
nervous
E'
see
of Trivett and Tremendo
IGHTPENCE is charged to
Stan Trivett in training. Yes-
he sold: terday
"Twice round Tremendo will be a quarter of a inlle, promenade, deck reckoning."
nervousness
President of the Amalgamated
land.". recent- Union, Engineering ly went on a month's tour In Soviet Rusin. Here are his
But we have a friend with a very answers to paints raised in an interview.by Anne Kelly.
One might add that Russia ap-long nose (real), and whenever he comes here, the kids tweak it and Cms that if Joe is unable to think of pears to be pathologically
anything else to say, American au- of Everybody, always has been and try to pull it off, thinking it is
cardboard one. What should I do? Each factory has fls production diences will get restive, There may will probably remain so.
Dr. Rhubarb replies: Give your and in the factories and even be
But the people who make people target,
nervous are the warriors of Wall-friend a cardboard nose to wear over with his real one, so that the children can plants we visited
street, the men who fight
big pull it off, showing monthly production graphs
This is where Joe would score over tape machines and bonds and Fireside Fusiliers cigars the all other orators-if he believes in America. and photographs of Stakonovite workers who have exceeded
the political philosophy of a sock on There are many women workers the faw alt round. People would a red either listen or keep out of his way. those who display
And if he is
Maybe the column's ever elected Presi- the among of
what a powerful figure he is pathological, by which it means pennant on ther machines, siguity-dent,
would become In world politics. Its fear is not based on reason, but And what a man to shake up ais à mental attitude amounting to a There are about eight grades ing High outpul achievements.
He amused a large crowd by running proud of
column doesn't disease-but the Factory workers of skilled workers, and although
round his sparring partners and think so. we met only one woman in the their production banners presented peate conference,
"Sign or be socked" would be his
cracking them on the back of the When it hears that
While in by the Government for having ex-
the warriorshead with both fs's at once. their target. The Govem-motto, "No, no, no" from Molotov top grade there are
ceeded Grade Six. Most of them rise ment also give grants for high pre-would be more of a heart cry than of Wall-strect have suggested that confronting the huge Aircraftman America should attack Russia now, Moeble, he dived between his legs, or duelion. Part of the money is the inevitable refusal to
It feels sure its fears are based to Grade Five after two
an and before his opponent could turn to pended on bonus payments to out- operate.
reason.
meet the attack from the rear, will go further. If there is round at the front again, rattotting institutions be standing workers and the rest of
another war, and if anybody is left on Mooble's astonished face like a alive after it, the next war crimi-mad postman at an old oak door, na.s' trial will not be in Nurem- berg, but in New York.
Tremendo sald last night: "If he There you are. The column told ever gets within eight foot of me, WHEN the column was young you that when it hits out at any he'll be through the ropes faster than
was ruder than it is now. It body It hits them smack In the eye. round," criticised the hats of the wives of politicians and called the late Ram-
Dumbbell say MacDonald "the
of Scotland."
three years' training.
some
Women doing the same work as men receive the same pay.
Training
to improve helpy longing to the factory.
art
£1
I think it would have a good effect on our own production drive if the Government adopted similar schemes in Britain.
WAS very impressed with the industrial training given to 15 boys and girls aged from upwards. Youngsters up to Palaces of Culture
the age of 18 work a six-hour day and a 36-hour week, com- pared with a normal 48-hour week for adults.
In some factories the young sters divide their 36-hours be- tween work in the factory and technical training. Opportuni Lies for rapid promotion are abundant, and I was struck by the youth of factory directors and administrative people. saw none over 50 years of age. Many of them have gone from the factories to the universities They and hold high degrees, certainly know their job, Production *-
and Labour
We have nothing similar in Britain, Many have been completely de- stroyed or burned out, but they are belp rebuilt, and those we saw in Moscow and the beautiful buildings.
Ukraine
You see how funny the column It can be when it trics?
Thumbing its nose
This was not the hard, accurate hitting of a grown-up column, but: rather the work of a young hooll- thumbing his nose at
were gan
corners.
street
Immature
In the devastated areas, parti cularly, where workers are living in
It also made a lot of shacks and as best they can, they provide the only pinces for leisure, Bags about domestic strife, and for one brief, shameful moment thought In addition to well-equipped theatres,
It was like concert and lecture halls, all have sausages were funny. extensive crucational and recrca-a column that had just left school. tonal facilities. Some of the largest have their own cinema, Children
But
Blill funny
· sausages are. when the heart is young, before that slimy, toad sophistication kills honest laughter and turns it into sneer.
*
ACTORY Kindergartens and
All the same, sausages have never creches are n feature of Soviet been mentioned since (except the THEY maintain that production per industrial life. Accommodation is soya bean flour in the wartime Eage man-hour is as high and in come not yet adequate one factory em- sausage), but it still makes cases higher than ours. Whether ploying about 3,000 workers.had ac- about domestic sirife, though in a
way. Domestic strife this is so or not..they are certainly commodation for 120 children-bul different paying much attention to improved they certainly lock after the children not treated as comedy, but tragedy,
as well as they can. output.
which it is.
NANCY
Glad to Oblige
ALLEZ VOUS,
EN !---
DON'T MY STUDIES WANT DETER ME FROM
TO PLAY EH?
COME ON OUT AND
'PLAY
THAT'S "BEGONE"
IN FRENCH
SUCH MUNDANE FRIVOLITIES
|I INTEND TO STAY
HOME AND BURY MYSELF IN MY
BOOKS
-25
is
10
CROSSWORD PUZZLE
Aerow
19
ま
Movable habitation. (4)
10 This well may mean your rejED- tion. 10) 19. A broken wire, 14) 20. He's made up of zan oras. (7)
21. Crying les tabag.) (0)
Down
If you had this you'd only hard
on arm free, 18).
2. Elephant boy. (4)
Munitions (3)
4. You may cat te defent, out 10
45
may be a pack of wolves. (4)
G
The eternal punishment, 101
。
1. An arranged or just mixed (8) 7. Bring up. (4)
B. Jowol of friendly gresting, 441 11. Band bill. 143
13. Bomartines soon working in Tra-
falgar-aguare, - (5) ---- ;
Not exceptiosgi. (5). 15. Izcated. 191
By Erulo Bushmiller
I'LL DO IT
FOR YOU
ERNIE BUSHMILLER
Amargot, (7)
i). To Shakespeare it was poise -13)
In Nudgo, (0)
12 A broken pane. (4)
17 Without altcuity ar
in
MIER. 32
a thing at the immediate drat,
RU
Solution of yesterday's puzzle.- Actora: t, Inebriate; 7, Appendix: 0, Fuel; 11, Engre; 13, Tel: 15, Owe 38. Ubtan: 10. Carp; 17, THU 20, Yell; 22. Train; 24, Sen: 25, Conceiti 20. Essence. A
Down: 1. influence: 2 Nauglių:"-3. Ileel: Ina; 8. Tire; 0, Exemplary: B. Peel: 10, Lefff; 14, Who: 16, Cynfe: 10, Urns: 19, Tie: 21. Loal: 23, Aco..
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