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DENNIS PRICE CECIL PARKER
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JEAN SIMMONS PETER MURRAY
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the kind they talk about!
KINGS ROW
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Journal
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TO-MORROW
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ATKATUNIVERSAL PRESENTS:
BUD ABBOTT LO COSTELLO
|UKEPERIAL
With
LITTLE
GIANT
BRENDA JOYCE JACQUELINE de WIT ELENA VERDUGO
MARY GORDON !!
GEORGE CLEVELAND
ORIENTAL
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JOHN WAYNE JOHN CARROLL ANNA LEE
FLYING TIGERS
· PAUL KELLY- GORDON JONES
URL SHIRETY MAN CLARKE
COMMENCING TO-MORROW: "TARZAN'S DESERT MYSTERY"!
★ THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11, 1947,
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
Sitting on the
HE following is, this week's. letter from my persistent correspondent who always addresses me as "Dear Pig,"
Dear Pig,
While I was looking for mis- takes in your article, I noticed that when you was sneering at Politicians, M.P.s, etc., you call- ed them all "Mr." Othors what write for the newspapers call them "Attlee" and "Bevin," and one always calls Mr Churchill "Winston." I suppose these other writers are in with heads which you are not.
A
•
Fence
by NATHANIEL
GUBBINS.
in a sharp, barking tone and Smith
"Sir".
"Good morning, Yellow Crocus,"
A. Cuckon's observations are typl-
cul of the selfish, privileged class höj represents.
Foreigners like myself i are amazed that the feudal spirit is i
for i
still alive in England, which centuries has led the world. In social) progress and political enlightenment and which, even now, can tolerato the opinion of an anarchist ko A. Cuckoo,
Ir may now be revealed that at a secret meeting of leading migra-
her be frightened into calling Jones I said. "I am a reporter. May i usk tory birds somewhere on the shores
Well, dear Plg. you are certainly right when you say I am not in with the heads" like other colum- nista. That is to say, I do not know them well enough to call them by thelr Christian. names, either privately or in print.
But I suspect that many
other columnists do not know distinguish- ed men sufficiently well to call them Winston or Emle in print, though It gives to Intelligent readers like yourself the impression that, they
do.
I remember one columnist who always referred to George Bernard Show as Bernard." I don't sup- pose they had met more than once, if at all, but readers of the column no doubt believed they were lifelong
chums,
As you are so observant, you may have noticed that the correct use of the title "Mr" in private Bfe Im- plies certain social distinctions. By calling a man. Mr Jones or, Jones you can either claim him as equal or put him in his place.
·
·
an
Jones and Smith have both been to a good school they call cuch other Jones and Smith after the first Introduction. If Jones has been to good school and Smith 10 not- such-n-good school they will call cach other Mr Jones and Mr Smith.
Thus Jones will call Smith Smith you a few questiona?" if he has been his fag at Eton or if he is his manservant. In the first cake Junes will say "Smith" In a friendly voice; in the second as if he were calling a dog.
•
In lower middle-class circles everybody in Mr and Mrs, the titles belnit regarded as a social distinc- tion.
are
of the Mediterranean the question. "Shall we go to England again this Crocus "I am so gind to meet o "Oh, good mor-ning** Bald the
summer? was seriously 'debated. re-part-er as they are so in-ter-est- Those who argued against mak-} ing and must meet so many in-ter- ing the long trip once more had est-ing people, Dn tell me about a strong case when they pointed out your in-ter-ent-ing life as a re-port- that the English summer had almost
ar."
"We would prefer to hear about pour interesting life as a crocus," re- said. "How long have you been
under that snow?"
A bit lower down they garded as a right between equals, any omission
being token, qu n insult. Try calling a charwoman "How long?" asked the Crocus. anything but "Mrs" So-and-So and "How can I tell? But I know I have see what happens.
been, fear-fully brave."
In Fleet-street we call each other Bill and Charley If we stay with each other long enough to know each other's Christian names.
Well, dear Pig. it's all very puzzling, isn't it? I expect it's Just one of those English things," in- vented to Inx foreigners, like speli- ing Chumley Cholmondeley.
By the way, I wonder what should call you? Mr Pig?
1 prefer to think of you plein Pig.
"Yes," I said, "we all know that. It's an old crous story. But we want the facts... How long have you heen under the snow? Two weeks? Three weeks?”
-censed, to exist. Younger birds said that, so far as they could remember, the most noticeable differences be- un tween an English summer and English winter were that the days
were longer and that a few people, apart from Ashinongers, wore straw hats.
Older birds who remembered the beautiful. English summer of 1940 pointed out
that they had been obliged to take the Battle of Britain with it. Those who visited South- Eastern England had their nests shattered by explosions, and many "I really can-not re-mem-ber," said the Crocus. "Really I can of their children were born nervous not."
wrecks or inberties.
Let me refresh your memory"! I said. "The snow had been on the ground here about two months. When did you first push your head just through the earth?"
Interview with a
crocus
"I am not sure," said the Crocus, "but I believe it was a fort-night BKO."
"OK." I said, making a note. "Two weeks under the snow.
But if Junes has been to a very THE voice of the Crocus was high- tion cold?"
pitched and precious like the Smith good school and
has been voices of the little actresses who dragged up in some unmentionable squeak parts in the Children's Hour
Smith for the B.B.C. place, Jones will call Smith
WILLIAM
HICKEY
Motor Cycle
Cycle Saint
It was also asked, "Why should we go to a cold country which is strictly rationed when we can stay in a warm country with A flourishing black market which will provide any enterprising bird with innumerable
(t-blis?"
World
favour
POCKET CARTOON.
برستان
KPARN AVE
"I tell you · I'm not a tramp-I'm British”
BY THE
WAY
by Beachcomber
THAT woman hear-tamer who procured rations for four imaginary, bears had a touch of "Not everybody imagination. can see them, but they are very real to me," as the man said when the paychiatrist denied that nine dolphins were nibbling at his trouser-ends.
But what a scene there must have been in the local food office, "Four what?" "Bears." "Are they wild?" Wo, but they will be if they don't set their grub."
}
This would have made a good theme for Pirandello. foed-controller would be forced to The local
achnit to the lamer, "If you think the beam are- there. then they are there," (Exeunt no bears, Curtain.)
There was a man with a dareing- Finally, a spokesman In
bear, in Lile years ago. One day, Were of
the trip asited the assembly, while the great beast was being put "Where is your gratitude?
a ribald audience What through Its paces,
Whereupon roared with laughter. buto other country in the
the bear shouted: "Just: you try to England preserves the ilves of little | dance in this heavy skin." Yes, co- wild birds instead of murdering them 'der, it was a feckless Ind called
Michael Houain, and no bar at all. for amusement as they do in Italy?
"What other people in the world | A difficult visitor would defy the law and deny them- "Oh, how dread-ful," said the selves food to Crocus. "How could you say such bread Instead of a stono?
give us foreigners MME, KODLIVA OYUL visited a but com- theatre in London, drend-ful things?"
plained that she had not understood
"Yes, I was very cold," said the Crocus, "but I did not care, for om I not the har-bin-gèr of spring?"
"We'll deal with that later? I said. "Were 1/01 troubled much by worms?"
"There's nothing dreadful about " I said. "I've often wondered how flowers get on about worna, There they are stuck in the earth, unable to move, and along comes a worm, nibbling at their roots or peering into their faces. If a worm peered into my face, I'd go nuts,"
said the Crocus, "please."
"What other men in the world but, the words of the play. "I thought, it would be in Turkish," she said. "No." Englishmen have written such poems they said, "Not in England." about us, preserving our beauty Takey," raid forever with the music of their words?
in Turkish. The English who visit Turkey
see pings in Turkish. Here it is different. "This is Eng- land," they said. "Yes," said Kod- liva Oyul "and Turkey Is Turkey, this: Just the same, ch?” They gave it up. HE ended his speech like
"From a practical point of view, Are you going to deny our friends Try the Valkyrie musje" the help we give them eating the pests that destroy their crops?
THE
Confirming a new patron saint of assure me that I am barking up a mutor-cyclists, Pope. PIUS
XII, hopelessly wrong tree.....It seems refers to the motor-cycle as "birata to me that service which is on tap: ignifero latice Inclta" ("the two- which encourages easy listening by wheeled conveyance moved by adding une Axed item after another fire-producing juice"). Britain has to its programme schedules; which
"Please do not talk about worms," half a million of them,
encourages every listener to believe that by payment ef his almost in- "You're lucky you're not a sum AGE: Quickly fellowing the Curtis ipitant le nce fee, he is entitled mer flower, I said, "with earwige
HE young man who recently held exposures of bad living conditions to hear what he personally desires crawling all over you and bees bit-
an Albert Hall audience entranced among homeless children, agitation at any moment can never hope to ing your nose. What did you think "From a sentimental point of view, while he played classical music un a inerenses for a Government survey establish EL genuine artistic or about all that time?"
which is far more important to mouth-organ has raised a problem. into the living conditions of old
aesthetic prestige."
them, are you going to deny them will it ever be possible to abolish people without hames of their own.
"I thought." sald the Crocus, "of the bright gaiety of our presence in the orchestra In grand opera and use, Nearly 6,000 aimshouses In WISDOM: "Specialisation is
the day when the thaw would come the gardens they love so much?" | a one
Great Britain are more than 180 years of the most dangerous tendencies of and would smile in the bright sun-
monte-organ instead? Singers" dead against the idea. old, more than 6,400 have no kit- the last 30 or 40 years. It has given light and be plucked by some beau- Sir. I would like to put it on re-
any chens, nearly 12,000 have no bath- us experts, not wise men,"—Marahai | sit in a pret-ty lit-ile vase to beau- fore he had finished. When it was i one play such an instrument would
ti-ful Ind-y or a lit-tie child and cord that he had us all crying be- They say tint the mere sight of
were i-fy their home and be their har- put to the vote we
in cause dughter, especially in a Wag- nor pern. Years ago in Milan there bin-ger of spring."
favour of coming. So we shall be i was b violinist at the Scala who seeing you again at the same claimed to be able to produce all the Hoping you have recovered from muse of the violin by scraping his your hard winter and
your first finger, encased in tintell, along wife and family are well.
roms. The Neffleld Foundation of the R.A.F., Lord TEDDER, ot hort on "Care and Comfort of Old Whitgitt School, Croydon. People" condemns obsolete rules, chaotic administration.
Health said: Ministry of have sent a circular to ali nuthorities stressing that old
P.M. The Royal Commission on "We the Press will be an "afternoons local only" Job. Sir DAVID ROSS, people chairman, accepted his task from the in their care should have more Prime Minister on the understand it's the snowdrop."
"For one thing," I said, "you're just so likely to be trodden on by the the gardener, and for another you're not the harbinger of spring of all,
freedom to come and go as they ing that he should have his morn- please, wear their own clothes, live Ings free. Reason: Sir with It already tied up In brighter surroundings. But
is too early to assess how local au- orbitration caseS.
camel Government
caravans and
David is "How dare you say such a thing." industrial squeaked the Crocus, "I have always
been the harbinger of spring."
"Some people think they're always
P.M.G., Mr W.
thorities are carrying out our re- GANGED UP; Someone at West-going to play Peter Pan," I said. commendations."
rainster has just noticed that the "The snowdrop is the harbinger of GATEWAY: Busy again with Postmaster-General, Lord Listowel, spring. In fact, she was more enter- She pushed her Afghan sits in the Lords as Baron HARE, prizing than you.
A. Jace through the snow," road Assistant Convoys, the
BURKE, through Khyber Pass was cut by
"I hate the snowdrop," sobbed the Indian frontler tribesmen a short
back.
CAMERON INVENTION: Putting in a claim Crocas, "I hate her, hate her, hate time
JAMES cables: "Very few people even know for the stirrup as a decisive inven-her."
MELCHETT
"My paper sticks to the facts." I It happened. I was there when it tion in history. Lord took place to my considerable con- says that "until the arrival of
.said. stirrup, man could not really fight cern."
the on horseback, Stirrups led to Tribesmen (always sniping, but
"I always thought reporters were knight in
with practically never-by unwritten rule wide political and economic changes
in armour,
consequent gentlemen.' attacking the road) had ambushed to Europe. Bul its peacetime uses? "In that case you haven't met n 40-truck supply convoy, Cameron. It was used for London's Under many," I said, leaving her to her
driv
"A
the
Letter from a swallow
behind the convoy, says: ground straphangers. Now It is weeping.
word to know in such
back, almost supplanted by the spiralled erzumstances Is "wapas"-go back.
ick rubber "gtab?" Says London Trans- with We wapassed
some urgency: port: "Too many, people used to reported to #rey-shirted, san swing on the stirrups." dalled patrol of the Khyber Rifles (recculted from tribesmen)." Probable cause of tribal starvation. Punjab riots have up. set wheat supplier.
attack: Reminder: Burke Gnld Hare DEAR Sir,
body-
(celebrated murderers and snatchers) supplied ́Edinburgh doc- The letter from A. Cuckoo pub- tors, with "corpses" by Inveigling 'lished in your widely read column ALONE? Supporter of less, but people to the'r todigings, doping and came as a great shock not only to bolter, broadcasting-VAL GIEL- suffocating them. They murdered patriotle British birds, but also GUD, B.B.C. Drama Director (who 15 people between November 1827, migratory birds who know and love grew a beard because he was al- ud December 1828. Hare turned · England and are prepared to do all ways being mistaken for his actor King's evidence and Burke was in our power to help during the pre- brother John). "But my colleagues hanged,
sent difficult times.
----
NANCY
But for This Week Only
THIS IS
BE KIND TO
ANIMALS WEEK
DOWN
to
15
that
I remain, Sir.
.
faithfully,
alt
A. Swallow.
the base of his nostriis, An expert- ment was made at a dress-rehearsal, but half the company fell to the floor In delirium of laughter, and the other half walked out.
CROSSWORD
Across
Littre
16. Nickname for funny ttro
BIRD. (3)
1. Anonymous letters are this less.
(4)
19. The French unknown quantity.
(3)
20. Jo has wrakoned many a wirang
spirit. (4)
22. Disorderad 1st. (4) 23. Elly, 151 15. The road to success is always
મારૂં
Down
1. Nothing mus; tenve the Came- roons if you want to get this Beottish regiment.. (0) Bone or just a fairy? (10) One of the Jewtans prisce Who freed Judes from tyranny, 10)
4. To do so waụid no to reach the
highest point, (9),--
6. This at the musical instrument
50 % T. (B) ZEN
9. Unless a "loader" appears very soor
will be stowing alene, of (3) 11. Punctjealoss. (5)
1. They make up comic sota. (9) 6. How a deformed Arab hides a 12. 13's within the law, 15).
Die Joint (7)
14. Upset the pall, what languARE,“ -17. Beasts 141: 21. This Ward suggrate savance. '12)
7. Passengers tako this trala to
London. (2)
8. Bort of blessing you get:from
Mim bure. (0)".
10. This puzzle is across 020, (E), 13. do round or return to
comedian..(0)
Bolation of yesterday's punzÜR
Homestead 7. Arion;"
fader 12. GRANNI
17. Prices;
25. Gnome
Harlequin,
I 10 as reputed to contain 24 sure Auriga G
prises. (3)
16. A number less than none, (3)
By Ernie Bushmiller.
ESCALATOR
is, band: 19, Tor: pl.
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