SHOWING

TO-DAY

KINGS

AIR-CONDITIONED

At 2.30, 5.10,

7.15 & 9.15 P.M.

is the years most paced comedy!

MARGARET

CHARLES

When a gel and a guy

pang va en a spožā.....

mars something new in

· fun! · M · C · M's Flors

ابهام

ROBERT

O'BRIEN LAUGHTON YOUNG

hot boy dingue's

Canterville GHOST

WILLIAM GARGAN · REGINALD OWEN *RAGS" RAGLAND · UNA O'CONNOR

COMING

Q

SOON

Come how to Over that tight

Paramount's Grandest Technicolor Musical

With 12 Great Song Hits!

Bing CROSBY

DIXIE

✡ Dorothy LAMOUR

QUAMERA & CENTRAL

DAILY AT 210 520 710 & 959 PM

DAILY AT 2" 5! 70 & 915PM

OPENING TO-DAY ℗

GANGDOM'S

KILLER

TOUGHEST

PUTS

THE

The underworld

matching bullet

for

with

What a browi

NEW

WARNER

GROS,

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 1947.

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

Sitting on the

E following lotter is In- tended for birds and animals

only and need not be read

by any other creature.

Dear Big and Little Sirs,

the

As the only calumniat in world to be rend by birds and

unique. animals and to enjoy the

privilege of publishing their letters,

the

Fence

by NATHANIEL

GUBBINS

Noudy can talk rubbish to you because you don't understand, un-. lesa yoti are an "almost human" dog, poor thing.

Nobody can argue with you about politics or religion, knowing nothing. about

either.

واز

Nobody can say "Thou shalt not steal," In your world there nothing to steal. The world is yours.

* f

I consider it my duty to offer some

It is only when we capture you nations' That is why, with the explanation and apologies for

These are just a few aspects

of and 'make slaves of you that "you in snarling at each other, you And human behaviour in 1947. There share our misory, like some of you behaviour of my own species

Forliament and bewildering members of

arguing are many others which we won't poor tentlemen who are ridden by these dimeult

warmly about the most trivial go into now.

madmen in the Grand National and thousands times.

things (such ns cheese),

break your backs while, በጾ K. had happened nothing whatever

miracle and as if some overnight might swing us back to pre-revolu tion days.

If you read anything apart from Fence, you may Sitting On The

have noticed a small paragraph in one of the papers which stated that a mah had calculated how many had hundreds of miles Hammond

what covered between wickets in

lifetime of record was called run-getting."

U

In the madhouse

WH

of other madmen cheer.

Saint Francis of Assisi called' you' Rills brothers. It seems a nity als that those who have followed other teachings have forgotten that

one.

【HAT do you make of it all? Do You think that "In our last For myself, I prefer British revo- daya we are just a lot of poor lutions to the foreign kind. They, mädmen, bealing at the bars of our are so much more comfortable, madhouse trying to get out, or play- almust jolly, shall we say?

ing style games like counting up the miles a cricketer has run, or storing At the cinema

with our idiots' eyes

may have noticed that some the more fortunate inmates of the of us are not miserable at all.

nd

to

Hammond is a cricketer, if you

NOTHER thing you may have asylum and rushing upon them

destroy them in our mad Jealousy? know what that means.

A noticed is the strange be- such huviour of human beings (mainly doing While people

If, as sensible birds and animals, are

women, I am glad to say) when you think this, you can hardly be wicked things this may seem harmless occupation. But when you members of their species who have blamed for it. consider what is happening in the distinguished themselves as actors or actresses dare to show themselves world, and what is likely to hop in public. pen, it seems a very odd thing tu

do

Nero may have fiddled while Rome burned, but what do you think of a man who adds up the number of miles a cricketer has run when the entire world ray burn?

At the golden gate You

This

we are capable of self-delusion.

rebels, de unica.

with you. Tell us facis and we are Tell us a fairy story and we are

not,

POCKET CARTOON

"I'm told, Homer, if you throw dollars

the

"natives" "will dive for

them."

BY THE

WAY

by Beachcomber MY mind reverts to the octopus

In the Neapolitan aquarium,

Old Bedford Music Hall. and I remember a scene at the

A man in diving costumio got into At one time, in civilised coun-

It is possible to make us believe a tank where there was an octopus, irles, mad people were locked up

ourselves that is, and Induced the boast to dance In and sare people went

anything about free. In

good. We even time to the music of the orchestra. over, anything that is that Germany, when Hitler took

intelligence Then arose an official of the Society and believe that we have in all the 'mad people got free

and you have not. You might well for the Prevention of Annoyance to

Fish and shouted, "That animal toelted up the sane people.

have been

trained on hot Therefore, it is easy to make us What's the use of hot bricks in a We Arc wonderful tank of cold water?" retorted the believe that

of dogs. enough to be immortal.

trainer. "You're thinking

cried hunting

You might have thought

distinction anybody who carna any of the arts, or in unything else, by his skill, perseverance and de- votion to his work, would automa- tically earn, the respect of his fel- lows.

But what happens? Recently I have mentioned this because il crowd of 5,000 screaming hooligans actor escapist mobbed a distinguished film the. typical of seems

and his wife at a cinema, blacking behaviour of the human species his eye and tearing her hair. dering what H. D. Wells believed to be a last days.

years.

We have

of you

ask why.

·

bar, "and let me tell you these damned man who had just come in from tho farmers would shoot them all as wer

sald the trainer. "Octopuses love coon as look at them." "That's right,' danoing and it's the only way to At that point keep up the breed,"

curtain was rung down.

It may be that everybody in the world is mad now, so li doesn't maller if we are locked up or not.

You don't bother about auch Hounds, please," As a matter of fact, we have things. Your heaven is here. But never been free Hike you.

thousands of we who have been so long in been locked up for

darkness, must be forgiven' if Our bars have not been made of look forward to the light, when the doors of the madhouse are fung been made It must be difficult for you gentle tron. They have

open and we are free. understand taboos. men, big and little, to

You mustn't do this, this. I believe that if you mob mustn't do that. You ought to do your own species it is either be this, you ought to do that. I don't cause they have stolen your food or know what people will think I know nothing about these mat- Egg Jam noticed, in the House of Commons. because they are sick and you wish you if you do that. I don't know ters (who does?), but, being mad PLEADING that the jammed in

In July 1945, a revolution took to make a merciful end of them, what people will think of you

If like the rest, I am willing to bellevestrument had an egg In shell place in Britain. When revolutions At least you have reasons for doing you don't do this.

anything, if it's a pleasant thing to wedged in it, Robert Moffley, of Coke countries it.

what believe. take place in most other

Houso, Lowcester, howled with the losing side is either exterminat-

Rrc All task without wishing to start laughter when (continued on page 4. ed or silenced in some other way, They at least know they have had a

n controversy or cause offence, is col. 3) revolution.

this L..

The sume sort of escapism may be

I can offer no reason for the be haviour of the mob at the cinema. because Mr Paul Holt says it was "they seek to destroy success in re venge for their own dull lives."

care

of

We

Whereas you don't

long as anybody thinks. So madmen leave you alone you perfectly happy.

You mate and are merry in your mating If you are not, you mate again, without going to law about As he has been a student of films it. Nature provides everything for audiences for some you and would for us if we would - years, I will take his word for it. let her.

But in modern Britain we never know when we have hud a revolu- tion (and we have had many), any more than we know when we are and cinema beaten.

WILLIAM

HICKEY

ON THE SPOT! Truman's Handshake Technique

HUMPHREY

BOGART CONRAD VEIDT

KAAREN VERNE

ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT

LEE THEATRE

ADVANCE Booking offICE

ST. FRANCIS HOTEL, QUEEN'S ROAD CENTRAL Booking Hours: 11.00 a.m. to 5.00 p.m. Daily SHOWING TO-DAY AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.30 & 9.30 P.M.

JOE'S A WILD WEST WOW!

Roer rock the Rockies and

~JOE E, Bally laughs bind bondits

In this hiláriaus cumady I

BROWN

SHUT MY 816 MOUTH

Adele Man Victor Ivry- Fritz fold

Sun Badday - Lloyd Bridges - Forrest Tackar

À COLUMBIA, PICTURE

„Kiruna pich by Driver Realik, Karno BoWill, Urnacia Martto » BirocfMO 33 CRANESS BARTIN • Professtry 1900FT SPARKS

Jeff Sale: DELPORTABLE SEATS

enthay

TO-DAY ONLY At 2.30, 5.15, 7:15.& 9.15 p.m.

SUSPENSE! TERROR! THRILL!

ALL TOGETHER,

FRANKENSTEIN, WOLF MAN,

MONSTER, DRACULA, HUNCHBACK & MAD DOCTOR in

•HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN:

with Bori

Lon

KARLOESCHANEY

John CARRADINE

f. Carrol NAISH

inside

manageress

eustomers

If there is another fe, is every- body included in the scheme?

I am thinking particularly of the 'people who stormed the cinema.

And, if 50, why?

In the jungle

IF any lions or tigers are reading

List

Ugh!

THERE

have been complainta,"

says a leading article, "of watery solutions of gelatine with an abomin- ablo odour, and worth, at the most, twopence." And not only that. There old have been complaints that dirty bootlaces are being sold as liquorice, at nine and six-pence foot, in the lower end of Malling-street, where

this, I would like to assure

you the smell is worse than that of the gentlemen that when we are gone Borbonesa tart which killed all the (If we ever do go) I belleve you birds between Calatayud and Zaton. will make a better job as lords of Get the Balderdash Board on to it.

salco of

Who can blame him?

more

ore

"SHE was really suck a very pretty violinist that I found myself con- Even when ducting solely for her,

U.S. President Trumon, chalking DEPOSIT: After 50 years of hiring MYSTERY: Toking back Brigh the Jungle than we have done.

I believe that your rule will be at White clothes to men, You-know-who, of ton's Hotel Metropole after its six up his 7.000.h handshake

Covent Garden, now hire them out House receptions since Christmas,

to women; "anything from a bridal years as Alr Force establishment, the saner, more just, and (to use because of a rurvives smilingly

outit to a bathing wrap," at 30s. to hotel owners liked its large new odd word on this occasion)

"Norman Wilkinson" murals, guess-humane. up "secret technique" perfected to avold 50s. for a day or evening dress,

At least you will never kill any the violins were silent. I still al- knuckle-crushers. Formula a to eight guineus-for-classy wedding ed he had painted them while hon.

Says

Miss air commodore in the RAF. The living creature for no reason at all;rected my baton-to-her-attention. outfits. quick grab before his guest has time LAURIE GILES (31): "Almost the murals were renovated, photograph- as we do. You will never impose standing half-turned, so as to face her. And It seemed natural and a Imposing is, Buy to get in first, then a squeeze of the first thing our

see them, taboos, without giving good prac mero courtesy, to use my left hand them. You to blow her kiss when she resumed whole hand reduced to a "sponge" "Have you anything glamorous?ed for the Press before NORMAN taboos for the

In- Then she shows them the stock WILKINSON, invited to

I noticed, that she the presidential palm.

Therefore her playing. are not elever like us. caretaker:

blurhod, and there were hotel

murmurk includes entire wardrobe of C. B. mine." Said the timates say he can still make them range (700 dresses and suits); it said: "They're good, but they're not cal explanations for

from

the rest

of the orchestra, but I wince after 1,500 immediate pre- Cochran's show "Big Bon."

"I remember seeing four or five Air)

And If the little gentleman who is was beyond caring. I remember decessors-fostering the illusion of

IRONY: Powell-Duffryn Company, Force lads doing one painting-one singing so beautifully in my garden

during the fourth movement and I The murals stay much he is envied by us all, even found myself pushing her neighbour which produced and sold 20,000,000 did the Spitfires, another tanks, an- I should read this, may I tell him now that something drew me towards her tons of coal a year, is now assembl- other E boats,..

the moddest of us? And may he out of his sent, and sitting down be ing a team of fuel efficiency experts. with signatures blocked out.

summerside her. Some of the audience hissed. have a happy spring and Their new task: To Investigate how

Others laughed and applauded. But with his pretty little wife.

11-24 never asked to conduct in Salzburg again."

indestructibility and a glowing im- pression of firm friendliness." as one

paper puts it.

MARKET: Potential audience for

little conl Britain can work on. Mr APPROACH: How to win friends: Far East radio is 050,000.000 people w. L. BOON, who heads

the team.

"Take off the cover of every of the (roughly one-third

world's thinks our present industrial population), But, says JOHN sumption of 100,000,000 tons a year magazine you buy, pin it back up- MORRIS. B.B.C. Far Eastern Service could be cut to 00,000,000 by full- side dawn before reading-then walt scale attack on waste and ald- for people to ask how you can read Director...."among this vast poten- fashioned methods.

upside down."--Dressing-room tip at llal. audience there are at present not more than half a million listen- ing sets-only half that of Scot

land.

BARKER:

who

will

door

you will be more sensible.

I remain,

Big and Little Sira," Yours faithfully,

N. Gubbins..

D

(From "My Musical Life,” · by: Envico Tapioco,)

CROSSWORD

14

13

13

FASHION: Dress advice to TOMMY-London Palladium. HANDLEY: "Don't wear on ob- SERVICE: Licence has been grant- viously striped shirt with an obvious-ed to ex-Army man JOCK SHAW, ly striped suit, it gives you that of St. Austell, Cornwall,

Tiger Tim look"; to Colonel CHIN- peddle peeled potatoes from PETS; Britain is losing first place. STRAP (Jack Train); "Were it not to door in Newquay, by permission as animal-loving country, warns new for creases in his tie, the Colonel of the Ministry of Food. Shaw R.S.P.C.A. war history, "Animals would be a proper dandy"; to ERIC argues machine-peeling saves waste,

"Mr Handley's suit is charges id, extra per lb.. ' Were There" (Hutchinson).

Mr certainly better looking than "Sweden Switzerland and Norway

advice? CHOICE: New £1,000-a-year now have better animal" protection Barker's." Who gives this

Retail the Scottish laws than those on the Statute-book The Tailor and Cutter magazine.

secretary of Drapers Association (appointed as at Westminster."

- DEGREE: A cotton mill in Staly the most likely person for the job," SECRET? Greek cinema proprietor, bridge, Cheshire, refused to restart though the post wasn't advertised) is £050-a-year Mr PAPADOPOULOS, seeing Eng- work during the fuel crisis because Edinburgh's former

officer. Name? land for first time says: "Queues to the temperature in the mill was 50 food.

young brother of see alms my people would whistle degrees Instead of minimum 60 de- SHINWELL,

between unions, and Emanuel. off the screen?....you English are grees agreed like sheep. But perhaps that is the employer.

'57': When HENRY JOHN HEINZ secret of your political, stability."

BATONS: More than 60 American last went to Britain in 1942, the DEAD? Seen In a antique shop: generals (including, retired officers) Government, talked food with him. began as privates," say imaginative (Apart from 57 varieties, he has 26 One highly exclusive Whatnot, its U.S. Army recruiting advertise factories, 17,000 workers.) Recent- label, "Genuine Queen Anne, 175 ments.

War Office comparison? "It ly, after he arrived by air from the guineas," flanked by a antellite ticket would take too long to look up

13. Trond.:10) 00: ro United States, he was ready to talk

15. Found in metal clipe, Ingenuously announcing, .com tired officers. · But on the present. business again. The Ministry, of pliance with price control regula- list we have eight generals who rose food, however, didn't know he was tions "SECONDHAND.".

from the ranks."

In the country.

In

NANCY Make WHO Jealous?

MAY 1 CARRY

{}YOUR BOOKS.

"NANCY ?

WHY. CERTAINLY, SLUGGO

MAURICE

HERE YOU CAN TAKE EM [NOW --- I JUST WANTED TO MAKE. DAT BLONDE JEALOUS

28

20

5

Acrois

Etostility to arts or literature, d. By no maana & TOME KAKS]

D. This wirchiS AN ARCH (1)

10. Blopes. (9) A

12. Taken from a resting boss"

17. Bundial on a cloudy de 10. Necessary to Mrs. Co

'ba th

By Ernie Bushmiller

NOW WHAT. WAS M D' MATTER WITH. HER?

-

19, it may be sa extra. (9)

[20, Work. (6)

21 A loud break up. (6)

27. Used in oro washing, (9)

43, B40 -1° Down, and

Down

1 and 23. By anagram you : B00...1

Drare legend. (4.8)

2. 80 soon I (7) A

8. Do a credit this way, 19).

4. Completo faro. 193

5. You get more than a alaba, Shia

In London pea-soup. OV

To längered, (7)

2018 (ának.). (8)

11. How you may faro atá zenou

apk from the 10

14. Fair, long "Mid ad

19. Nothing mugen klima

necessary to ille.

When You Feel Tired and Restless

Elliotts Nerve

Brain Tonic -

Salo

Share This Page