TO-DAY
ONLY
AH
M-O-M
PICTURE
* KINGS ★
M-GM's
BIG SHOWE war twinfo buf mant
WALLACE
At 2.30, 5.10,
7.15 & 9.15 p.m.
Wuling I document MARGARET
BEERY O'BRIEN
BAD BASCOMB
ADDED: LATEST METRO NEWS!
·GRAND OPENING TO-MORROW CORNEL WILDE
Star of "A SONG TO REMEMBER" and "A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS" and "LEAVE HER TO HEAVEN"
INTECHNICOLORI
And Now....
The Son of
Robin Hood!
COLUMBIA PICTURES
presents
CORNEL WILDE
Star of A Song, Remember
The BANDIT of SHERWOOD FOREST
Anilo
3:11
Edger
LOUISE - ESMOND · BUCHANAN
Screenplay by Wirid H. Petítt and Melvin Levy
Directed by GEDAGE SHERMAN and HENRY LEVIN
- Prodiead by LEONARD'S PICKER and CLIFFORD SANFORTH
BOOKINGS NOW OPEN!
CENTRAL
LAST 5 SHOWS TO-DAY. At 12.30, 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.15 P.M.
E FLAMES OUT OF THE GHOST CERT!
THE CEEXTI
RANGE WAR
LOOK OUT
Also Stan LAUREL
Oliver HARDY in "BUSY BODY" TO-MORROW
Amazing Spectacle of the World at the Dawn of Time!
"ONE MILLION B. C.
SHOWING
TO-DAY
ALHAMBRA
THEY'LL TAKE YOU
JUST LIKE THEY TOOK THE TOWN
THEATRE
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19, 1947.
Sitting on the
HE Lord President of the Council, Mr Herbert Mor-
rison, In announcing on economic inquest into the nation's resources, said:
"Morale is not helped by defeatist utterances and articles. In รอบ opinion there is too much spreading of depression and misery."
Was he referring to this unhappy little column? Maybe not. Maybe he doesn't read it. But remem- bering some of its depressed and miserable moods, and remembering that there in to be a Royal Commis- sion of Inquiry into the Press, the column has made up its mind to be more cheerful in future.
It wants the Royal Commision (and Mr Morrison), to smile approv- ingly when the catum is mention.
ex.
It wants them to say, "Here is a morale bullder. Here is tonic
for the highest taxed people In the world," and not "This is the grumpy piece that makes the dinner look smaller than it is."
So for this weekt at least the
and column
its happy-go-lucky readers will not be living in austere, Britain. They will be lying le The Land of Treacle Tart where nothing unpleasant ever hap- pens, where everybody has every- thing he wants and everybody loves everybody else.
Irritable
IN
The politicians
The House of Commons there was a party atmosphere. Little
hnd bunches of flowers been exchanged betwech members of the Government and Opposition, There was a vase of flowers on the despatch box to prevent Cabinet Miolsters banging it in anger.
Front benchers smiled at front benchers across the floof the House. Buck benchers waved cheerily to back Lenchers.
mouth
The smiling Speaker, his full of toffee, handed round a paper bos of sticky lollipeps to members nearest the Chair.
Then a kindly faced member of the Opposition rose to move an ad- Journment of the debate.
Fence
by NATHANIEL
GUBBINS
No, no), each other (hear, hear). We are all too happy in this happy, prosperous land (luud cheers).
We are all too fond of
domestic help?"
"Do you think you ought to have
one. has
"Help? Me? Don't make INC laugh. Why, I'm helping two ladies "Therefore, ho continued. "when as it is.” Mr Speaker has finished his toffee
income "What proportion of his (loud laughter) I will ask him to
does
your husband allow you for put on the red cloak and hood pro- housekeeping?" vided by the Kitchen Committee "Well, that's another good. (cheers), to say nothing of the too. When he's working and white whiskers which were sacrific- paid for his beer and cigarettes and ed and gummed together by one of hacked att the wrong horses, there's
irresponsible our older and more members, sling that suck across his shoulder, and hand a gift to every- body in the House, Including those In the bar oud and prolonged cheers).
Ladies first, please," sold the cindly-faced member as the blush- Ing Speaker bolted his toffee and wrapped himself in a red cloak.
THE
The housewife
British housewife was down on her knees scrubbing the front- door steps when the official from the Moss Observation Society called. An east wind whistled under her skirt, revealing the holen, in her uilty stockings, The wedding ring on her blue, swollen Ongera was worn thin through years of daily iminer- sie in hot water and sodu.
The official brought out his note bouic and penell and stamped his feel.
cough to buy the rathons if I help another couple of ladies."
"Are you satisfied with conditions as they are?"
"Never been happier in my life."
told "What would happen if you your husband that you are entitled to at least half his wages for house- keeping?"
"You po and ask him and see that happens to you," said the British housewife, dipping the hearthstone in the pall."
The letter
E had such a handsome, smiling face, this man who won eriting to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, In his eyes there was an expression of saintly tranquillity, the calm, un- troubled paze of those
teho have abondoucă alt
in- worldly terests, who have at last realised the profound truth that the friver your possessions the happier you are, "You are Mirs A., of 198b, Para-
Dear
Chancellor (he wrote). dise Dwellings," said the official, I dare say I shall be the only man "and your husband is a casual in the country writing to thank you worker who is at present-ah-rest- for keeping income tax at its pre- ing
sent high level: But .as there revealing her blue dentures,
"That's me," said the housewife, should be pence on
carth
towards men of good will, I thought I would Happy
send this letter so that you might have something to encourage you in of your great task of bringing ዘፍ nearer a common income level and lowering the wicked pride of those with ambition.
"I I think," he said, beaming round at everybody, "that I am speaking for the majority of the members u! this House when I suggest that no.
amile. "aud that's him alt body feels inclined for a debate this right, too. He's resting in bed this evening (cheers).
very minute with
nice cup 1 tra,"
"On,
"Personally I have forgotten what we were going to debate about Do you get enough to eat under (laughter), but I feel sure it was the present rationing system?" asked one of those unpleasant, controver- the offelal. sial matters which worry us all and keep us up late at night and cause hon. members to say hurtful things about other hon. members (eries of Shame). We don't want anything Ice that to happen here (erlen of
WILLIAM HICKEY
Pub-licity
COINCIDING with the news that beer is likely to be cut by half and a deopening gloom un whisky prospects, the London Brewers' Council invited me to a planning exhibition.
Alas for toping hopes, it is not supplies that are being planned; these are merely idens on
how Ilquer could be consumed in greater comfort if there were any.
Brewers want more even distribu- ́tion of pubs, they are even prepared to give up blitzed sites in the City and elsewhere for town-planning and road Improvements in return for more understanding in granting Heences in residential areas.
The Agures are interesting
In
London the relationship of people to pub varies from 346 to 1 to as high as 2,222 to 1: in the surrounding Hcensing divisions there is only one with fewer than 1,000 people to each port of call.
"Me?" said the housewife. plenty. I never have time for more than a snack, especially on washing days."
your husband eat enough?” bottled The housewife. laughing, and she sat back on her heels. "Why, he never stops."
"Du you think we are exporting too much, or do you think we should have more in the shops?"
"They can export what they like so far as I'm cont" said the housewife, "and as the shops, 1 never have time to look at them."`
"If you were allowed, would you the hungry children of Germany?" things," said the
course I would, the poor little my husband wouldn't half
housewife. "But create about it."
send your next Christmas dinner to
"Are you satisfied with your ac- commodation?”
"My ruonis? Oh, I think they're lovely. There's still a bit of bomb damage in the bedroom where the rain comes through, but my husband doesn't sleep on that side of the bet."----
BY
EAR Sir,
Now, dear Chancellor, that is all over, thanks to you.
As I can see no liope of n substan- ilal decrease in Income tax. especially in the higher income groups, I have given up business. I have sold my house. I expect I shall cash! In on my insurance policies.
And what a wonderful rellef it all is. Instead of spending sleepless nights worrying about work, to pay taxes, to (shall we say?) put-Cier-
buck on Inony
her feet or keep British troops where they are not wanted. I sleep like a child.
POCKET CARTOON
"Don't be silly..........no one's going to drop an atom bomb in here!"
According To Culbertson
My wife and family will have to look after themselves or be looked after by you. This, I think, in as it should be. Provision for the future was always an evil thing. condemned by the Scriptures. We have all observed the degradation of young people with inheritances, of (Copyright 1947, by Ely Culbertson) youth dissipating unearned money
all
stend of working for it. We have
by the open-
mel ne read about rich and 1 One trick conceded miserable widows.
ing lead can, under verlain cir- turn into a two-trick
As for me, my health has imcumstances, proved because I can't ruin it any less-s in to-day's deal, for ex-
more with luxuries, and I shall no ample: doubt, achieve great old nge bless you and future Chancellors of the Exchequer for forcing me to live in a anne and proper manner.
Of course, I don't know wha1's happened to my employees. But I can't bother about them. Neither they nor anybody else will be my responsibility any more.
So, dear Chancellor, may I thank you once again for relieving me of my burdens and making what was once a herossed and unhappy life into a carefree, happy (if useless) one"
The
Ex-Business Man,
queue THEY'RE not as long
were," "There's 30 much fish now that
they
jou hardly have to queue at all.”"
"I must say I miss them." "So jolly they were with body so friendly."
curry-
"And how funny Mrs Whatname was. Do you remanher?”
"She kept everybody laughing." "As good as a play."
"I always say the fresh air did me good."
Never felt better in my life." "Oh, look, here's only one pair of kippers left."
Because I believe, dear Chancel- lor, that you are a man of good will,
You have them, dear." like must members of the Govern
"No. 1101 have them." ment. I believe you are sincere. "No. I'd rather not, dear. I go that you have the true Christian to the other shop." spirit.
"There's quite a big quene there,” In other words, you believe
"I know, dear. But Mrs What- wrong that a few should have to name's in that one. I expect it's much money to waste or save while ever so jolly." others have scarcely enough to buy necessities.
It is
"Then I come with you, dear." "All right, dear. We'll
Well, dust Chancellor, I was once gether." a man with ambition.
worked I was born poor, but I
little hard. I started a
business J which grew into a big business. became a member of the class, so despised in
middle Russia, buf whose sons saved Russia and
the
rest of the world in the Battle of Britain.
new
I was not a bad cmployer. IC people looked after my interests looked after theirs. But I found it all a great worry. I spent sleep- Icss nights working Dut schemes to improve the business, to make more money, to provide for my
old my wife and family arid my age. was unhappy. I was
I grew old before my time. I worshipping at the shrine of Mammon.
THE WAY
by Beachcomber
I find it difficult to believe
that a reputed singer really CONTRARY to some opinions, the greeted Tristram on his entrance number of pubs bears no rela- with the vulgar cry, "Hello, tion to the number drunks. Patsy Fagan!"
of Canterbury The most thickly licensed county borough in England and Wales; yet only three are more
East cober. Though
Ham fewest pubs per head, statistically. has county boroughs have a better record for sobriety.
18
Zubzub el Marshrat DETECTIVES
the
called at Prash- worthy Manor where there was to be a meet of the Bulgewick, and wamed the Master that Captain Foulenough was at large,
riding a camel, and calling himself Zubzub el Marshrat. There were no Inci- donts during
day's
hunting. Unless you would call an Incident the arrival, at the kitchen door, after the hunt had moved off, of a gentle- man who said, "I am Lord Bitter. They sent me back to get some beer and whisky and gin for the midday snack." The stranger then depart- ed, carrying the drink in a large basket, and leaving a pretty kitchen- maid saying to the cook. "Them lords isn't what they was." Lord Bitter
If the incident actually occurred, no wonder foreigners sny we do not take opera seriously. If, on the vention of a other hand, it is the malicious in- sensation-mongering journalist, then an inquiry into Of every 10,000 people, brewers long overdue.
Press methods would appear to be reckon on 1,500 customers and think
I enclose my card. that in new residential areas this
Yours faithfully,
"Music-lover." should be met by one palatial hos- telry on rond house lines, probably
Several people who have no ob- with ballroom or restaurant, and nine
Jection to the reported eccentricities "locals."
They insist, too, that we need of Rustiguzzi complain that there is more elbow room. Landon's most rarely any real humour in opera. crowded house has little over two "Gli Amucci," the peasant's
Verdi's dissent. In
little-known THAT evening there was nothing
THAT horeo square feet per drinker at peak has to sing a melancholy
to drink at Frashworthy Manor. pleca Mr Juttson, the owner, raged at the about his hard life. That is funny butler, who said, "Lord Bitter took
a per- it all this morning, sir." Wh enough. But I remember
"Who the
hours, and lots have only three. More room, they suggest, means better service.
service still.
More Hquor, would be better formance in Milan when the singer dovil is Lord Bitter?" roared Mr
in the front part of the horse-it Juttson. But the guests smiled was Tremi-sang so powerfully that secret smile, having heard that Foul- he burst the fittings, and the horse enough was in the district. In- At 2.30, 5.20, Nos
JOSE NEWS: Current perfumes fell apart, disclosing Tremal, and be- quiries by Mra Juttson in the lower selected from ohe evening's hind him the rear part, played by regiona elicited the Information that 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.
reading of American magazines: an "extra." This "extra" had ar-
his lordship had walked into the FRENZY.... INNUENDO MY rived late, and dashed on without kitchen, demanded the drink for the SIN SHOCKING MENACE his braces. He now stood crouch- hunt, kissed the 'mak, hugged the
ing, with his breeches in a hcop cook, and left with all the drink about its fect, unable to move.
there was.
Charles COBURN Ginny SIMMS Robert PAIGE
Shady Lady
Olony Singar
In Love With Lower
"Xango"
"Cuckle Up A
title Closer
ALAN CERTS
„A UNIVERSAL PICTURE
Į MARTHA O'DRISCOLL
Jes Frisco Mathiota Koward Thomas E. Jackson)
TABU INDISCRETION. DANGER....SCANDAL,
NANCY That Reminds Nancy
DANIE BUJHMILLEM
OH--- THAT
REMINDS
ME
PET SHOP
upert & the New Pal-7
Aspect declat fee they m get the back cat lot the presen 3 farsi by sinapsy. But walk- to the shops as toes slow for Bili Edger. "Why shouldn's one of
ice?" he asks. The roles hould be strong enough." So Pey on penny, Rupert calls "heads and wins, and soon he is being nowled along at a rolly pace by Bill. *Co, this is lovely 1" he laughs in
erky voice as le bumps down. "I do hope the wheels will stand it
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
12
and
to-
CROSS
10
10
}) 12
143
03
17
r.
20
21
132
23
20
$3
Acrven
1. Padingen (of mirka, (9),
6. Can be taxed evidently, (B)
9. Epokker on large mound. (0) 11. Feathered friend in a bemused
atoto. (3)
North, dealer
Both sides vulnerable
WEST 47 2
♥ QJ 10
• 05
NORTH AKOB & K7
40742
· EART
+ Q5 £
❤042 +387432
K 10 9 8 635
SOUTH
+ 3 10 6
A9863
• A Q 10
4AJ
The bidding: Warth
Fast
PEST 4 no frump rem FR
TA
Bouch
3 so frame Pas
Sout whe a bit fancy in full- ing to show his five-card, major mut, and North's four no trump WIN questionable. The pardvers were not using any four no triump convention; hence North's bid over game was merely a discreet proposal for a sam, but his hand was not musty better than R "miuy" us to make this entirely logical.
course
West's opening lead should have been the heart queen, but he selteted the club ten. This wouki have been sound if he had been defending against three no trump, but I had unfortunate
repercus- sions inst the glam. The Jack won and the spade jack was al- lowed to ride. East von 2nd 10-
turned heart. Now, with only
one
slin chance
the tricks,
for the rest of declarer won wit
dummy's king, cashed his three
diamond tricks (discarding a club
from dummy), and eashed the ub ace ning the spade sull.
then carefully before run-
When the last pade wus playett South was not embarrassed for a discard, but West's salus was not Sooviabie. Dummy was being reduced to only two cards heart And the eluts queen. Declarer and the ace-ning of hearts. And West, who still had to discard on the spade, was forced to let go either ine cub king, promoting dummy's queen or a heart. The first alterna- tive was patently suicidal, so West Kove uj heart, and doctarer cashed De cards In that suit.
Any opening lead other than it eltb would have meant mutomatic aefes of the contract!
WORD
26. its cap does not go ahead. (3)
27. Bee 1 Down.
Down
1 and 27. The compiler tries to
baffle you in this. (0, 0)
2. Extract from the roarior eights, 3. Come back (0)
4. Ernelling. (5)
5. The len didn't toll fot lon
tbls. (4
7. A broken repast. (0)
a. Break break to do this. (5)
10. Initially a training ground for
generala. {3}
12. Thus led it mixed. {4}
1. Bees the unknown quantity, up-
Bot. (d)
1. Dexterous in doing anything so
A to be unobserved. (0) 20. This WAY
entranco, 14 provido
Jour
21. It may be worth waiting, for. (3) 27. Headdress (3)
23. When brought to the boll did it make the death of 40 lawbreakers har casle: 7 (3)
13. This pose would cause you to 24.
imagino, (8)
14 Natural to collect it on bolldav.
Not backward is scemi in max- ing the weight. (3)
►
Bolution of yesterday's parte-hapt be has vision, (4), 11. Contasion; Loiza
18. Or 11. The
doubling the guard like this, (5erpulent; 16. Tion;318, Dud: 23, Arm! 122. Blav; 23. Dem: $14, Eire; 35. Eyns 19. newult of a long sitting, but not terd.
in Parliament, (4)
B1, Cluich; 2. Dose: Shop: 4 Oranien: 1 Buda! 17 3. Negailver; -2, Creepas 22; So hat that it rides on the water.. Kimed: "p
(0)
23. Matured. (4)1örgy: 19.. Use: 20, Bard: $1, ARI,
CODER was the means of1zoa; 14, Tor! I. Tess; 14 B
By Ernie Bushmiller
IT SHOP
EXAMS TOMORROW
When You Feel Tired and Restless
take
Elliotts Nerve
and
Brain Tonic
On Sale at All Dispensaries