Saturday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
July 12, 1941.
WEEK-END WIT
SOFA SAYING
#Khe: "You'd better watch that arm of yours,"
He: "Oh it know around."
•
BREAK, NEWS GENTLY
ay
A very rich man was on his way to Ateries when the ship was tor-
TOO LATE
"I thought your motto was Jove fon and leave 'em. How come you're married?"
"I didn't leave soon cnaugh,"
*
NATURALLY SO;
Two workmen sat down to eat perloed and sunk. He was posted as their lunch and one began unwrap ave of the maing passengers, and everyone thought
brid heen ping a parcel about 10 or 20 inches drowned. His family were notified, tong.
But three weeks later be turned up in Mexico. He had been rescued by a ship going southi, The first thin
What's that?" asked his friend. "Well, my wife is away, so I made
he did was to cable his brether:ple for myself."
"Am safe after auf and quite well. Break news gently to wife,"
"A bit long, ain't it?"
"Of course it's long. It's rhubarb."
"I understand the basic patents are held by some school child.”
CHILD EDUCATION
"Thank Auntie,"
you for the presents,
"Oh, they're nothing to thank me for. Bobby."
That's what I thought, Init nother told me to thank you all the Dame."
MUSSO'S PRESS
ALL THE DIFFERENCE "Do you think you can support
my daughter?”
"Yes, I do."
"Ever see her cat?"
"Yes, I have."
"Ever see her eat when no one was looking?"
*
SLOPPINESS
come out
The Jerry minelayer Vegy Monday. Wednesday. Fridus to lay her “eggs.”
Classified ads, have been banned in Italian newspapers-except, of course, the Duce's help wanted" Every Tuesday, Thursday, notices.
•
GERMAN LANDINGS
In Nuzi-occupied Belgium where it
and
and Saturday our inen would sweep them
up.
At last our men decided "to skip
a day and see what would happen.
THE MAN
Wife: "What are you-a man of mouse?"
口
-Hubby: "A man. If I were innuse I'd have you right up on that chair screaming for help."
NOT WHAT HE WANTED
todger her best bedroom): "Well, Landlady (showing prospective
what do you think of it as a whole?"
Lodger I suppose it's all right, as holes go, but it was a bedroom I wanted,"
IN SCOTLAND
"III ye seen MA Angus?"
thimble,
"Ye'll And it by the Whisky bottle. I gave MeWhister a night- rap last night.”
* CENSORED
"Are your letters from horne much! censored?" asked the kindly Amerl- ean of the small boy evacuée.
"Not much" aid the child, "butj when mother wrote that Mr Hitle kept on threatening to invade Eng- land, the censor did cross out the Mr."
EASIER
In a tile country town it was thei custom of the minister to kiss the bride after the ceremony. One! soon to be married didn't care for the prospect.
young woman
"Henry," she said the next time she saw her swain, "did you tell the minister I didn't want him to kiss Mer
"I did, darling."
What did he say?"
"He said that in that ence he would charge only half his usual fee."
*
*
TYPE OF WOMAN
"What kind of woman is she?" The kind that talks on and on: about things that leave her speech- less,"
TOUGH
"I unterstand that you've been studying methods for increasing your salary. How did they turn out?"
"Not so well. The boss was study- ing how to cut expenses at the same, time."
Che SNAPSHOT GUILD
THOSE SMALL SUBJECTS
The boy's hand teade your eye to the chipmunk, and makes the tiny animal more prominent. The porch floor offers a plain, simple back- ground which also helps.
AT
teri"
T TIMES, evoryono wants to simple alip-on lenses, similar to the plcture some unusually small portrait attachment, but a bit cubject. It many bo a thy pot-maro powerful. A supplementary Buch as the kitton, or the squirrel marked "threo-plus"`will on- that comes up on the porch for a able you to shoot with the camera but or two. In the spring. It is only thiricon luchen from your sub- blossoms; later in summer, it's which is vory close indeed. flowers. Every one of un has said.tensco, you should measure the dia- In all thero shots with all pon at somo timo or another. "Oh!tance carefully from camera to How I wish I could get closur. o subject, and then pince the camera this subject would show up betou a solid support at exactly that correct distance. guide or table Well, you can. One method is to comes with each of these lenses, uso a regular portrait attachment. and shows which range is correct Even with a fairly largo Sxed-focus į for every setting of the camera, camera, this will enable you to ap In many cases, you can show up proach as near a threo feot 10 a small aubject sectirely by hav your subject. If R 16 a smaller ing something in the picture that fixed focus camera, or has "two lends up to it. For example, a hand point" or "threo-polat" tocuning. feeding your small pet, or a per you can get oven closer-lo two non sniffing at your prizo Sower. and one half feet. in some cases. This directs your attention to tho And with many of the finer tacus small object, and makes it seem ing cameras, the portrait attach-more prominent-even though it ment brings you as near as two actually Isn't any larger. fool. These attachments nro luex- pensive, and no trouble at all.
If you want to go a stop further. you can use a so-called "diopter" les-also Inexpensive. These are
Strategist Predicted Would
Try these methode, next time
you tackle a small object. They'ra
a real help, and enable you to get
much more satisfying picture.
John van Cullitor
Russia
Fight on Allied Side
Two years ago, on the eve of
As they had Imagined, the Jerries the present war, Max Werner's
is dangerous to discuss the war or came on the Wednesday, and blew "Military polities, inen are now heard reporting themselves to bits.
Strength of the Book
powerful, Critics disagree. Although he touches, thought the on. it repeatedly, the author author crazy and never makes quite clear enough dismissed his the fact that France's suicidal
WH
audibly and cheerfully that the The Jerry captain was saved, but Powers" was published. In it Germans have succeeded in landing and with rage, he entered a strong the author declared that the of the statements. This foreign policy in the years before at three points in Britain.
protest at our neglect in not sweep French army was out of date. "Oh," say their friends, "Is that ing up the field. true? Where?"
pointed out "Such sloppiness would never," he in the British forces and declar. Week
the wenknosses ceme said, "be tolerated in the German ed that the German army was "Yes," they whisper, "In teries, in hospitals, In prison camps." Navy."
CONTRACT How to Phy BRIDGE How to Win
By JOSEPHINE GULBERTSON
"Accepting" A Double
EAR MRS CULBERTSON: I a club. West hopped up and, apper-
"DEAL
am sending you a hand which ently deciding that he would like contains some good points, I believe, to ruft a club, returned the five- as well as an amusing side.
"East dealer.
"Neither side vulnerable.
0463 KG.
A A 1062
VJ5
**QJ874
OAQDA
A 1032
◊ J10
KJ5 VA9732
AQB
N
14
Ε
ន
42
A9743
17
* 06
"The bidding:
10
Pass
South West 10 Puss
North Dbl. Pass
East
VKQ 10 8 4
easy, be the war was dictated by fear of cause few had the Front Populaire. Georges ever heard. of Bonnet did his best as Daladier's Max Werner, al- foreign minister to wreck the though if his real name were system of alliances on which known he would at once be re- French security rested, because cognised to be a leading Euro- its keynote was the USSR. penn military expert. Critics Alliance with Moscow, however, also were-auspicious-of-his-was-unthinkable to a man who Stalin's Red Army was strong? of the French Left.
TELEGRAPH leftism." Did he not say that feared it would boost the stock
QUIZ
spot. Dummy's jack lost to East's 1. age, Enst now rightly deelded that,
What are the modern offi- cial names for (a) Salonika (b) Persia (c) Siam (d) Constantinople (e) Stam boul if St Petersburg. af
Can you distinguish between cardinal and ordinal num- bers ?
a club lend to chummy's terrace would be foolish, hener returned a diu- mond. I rutted, laid down the king and queen of hearts, and then led spade toward dummy. West, a
cau- tious player, split his honours. Dum-2. my's ace won and the club queen followed. West ruffed and laid down the spade king, really smothering his own partner's queen. He then had to make me a present of the 3. Jast trick in spades, and my doubled contract.
I right in thinicing that East
01 fault in leaving in the double
of one heart? In his position I cer-4.
"Am
was
tainly would have rebid my monds. A. T., New York."
You
dia-
One of the relatively few German refugees who lived in Paris and had been able to keep
Sell-Outs
Werner will perhaps argue out of Nazi hands, Max Werner that such considerations as this is now settled in New York. do not warrant more attention He has written a new book, in a military history than he "BATTLE FOR THE WORLD: has given them, but they do. the Strategy and. Diplomacy Every time a progressive gov- of the Second World War" ernment takes power, Quislinga (Modern Age Books, $3), in its upper crust will leap chronicling and analysing the forward to sell it first 18 months of hostilities foreign focs. Werner himself out to its and peering around the corner points out why. He quotes a into to-morrow. It is the first remark overheard by Dorothy that makes sense. account of this mighty struggle Thompson in Paris: "I'd rather sce Hitler in the Champs Elyaces Werner does not supply easy than Leon Blum.” answers to the questions every-
Werner correctly puts his finger on one is asking. Will Britain hold the instruments of Nazi power out? The author does not give planes and tanks and the still as- yes or no answer, but provides tonishing German co-ordination of all Jan intelligent analysis by set. arms. But again he seems to exag- ting forth what Britain must do crate somewhat the range of these
terrible to hold out.
Planes still can- not reach across oceans as effective Neither does he predict Ger- longe-range planes do not win but- military forces-isolated bombings by many's defeat, but he shows you ea. Yet he says "the new methods A yawl is a (a) fruit tree what must happen before Hit of warfare have conquered space." (b) tool for making holes.er's amazing Wehrmacht begins They have not; they have conquered (c) small boat (d) piece of to crack. Among other things, only a certain amount of space.
What inventions are con-ing on a hostile continent, as German attempt to invade the Unit Werner believes that it will take The distinction is Important. If Mr a huge expeditionary force land. Werner were altogether correct, nected with (a) Gabriel well as strict blockade and may be some day, it is not to-day.
States would be feasible. Though Lippmann (b) Sir Ambrose superior'air power, to make this The dimculties of crossing on ocean Fleming?
possible of accomplishment.
If you were given a bar. becue, would you sit on it,
*
cat it or cook on it?
How many
millennium
*
years in
1,000,000,
a
10.000, 50.000, 1,000. are quite right: East erred]
5.
general
in leaving in the double of one heart. He had an unbalanced hand, only a "I was South. West opened the singleton heart, and his eight of diamonds. East won with honour strength was not the neo and returned a
So great heart. I that ducked and West, who obviously in the defence against such a low t he could hope to aid materially thought that his partner wanted to contiict. Even if East-West 6. prevent diamond ruffs, went up defeated
contract the with the heart are and returned a (which they should have done) tho heart. Dummy's jack won, East dis- result would have been unsatisfac- carding a diamond. I re-entered my tory as against what they could have hand with the diamond lding and led made offensively.
DETTOL'
TRADE MARK
THE MODERN ANTISEPTIC
This highly efficient
killer of germs is non- poisonous and
non-
staining. Keep It
handy. Use it in time.
one trick
DETTO
RECKITT & SONS
Hull & London, England
Agents
Imperial Chemical Industries
(China) Ltd., Hong Kong
DETTOL
cloth.
*
*
*
*
7. In Greek mythology Posei- don was the god of (a) love
(d)
Suicidal Policy
weapons,
ure for greater than those of crossing a 20-mile channel, whleh is still the supreme bother for the Nazis.
Russia And Allies
11
UBSTOUT
W. R. LOXLEY & CO., (China) LTD.
ARMY POOL!!!
0
·VA.D' CALA JULY 1ST
AMERICAN
PRESIDENT LINES
TRANSPACIFIC and ROUND-WORLD SERVICES
Next Sailings
UNITED STATES
Third week in July
For further particulars opply
AMERICAN PRESIDENT LINES
"ROUND-WORLD SERVICES" AGENTS FOR TRANSCONTINENTAL & WESTERN AIR AND UNITED, AIR LINES.
12 Pedder Street
N.Y.K.
Telephone 28171
FORNLINE
SAN FRANCISCO & LOS ANGELES via Honolulu
SOUTH AMERICA (West Coast) via Hilo & San
• Awata Maru (starts from Kobe) Bunday, COLOMBO & MADRAS via Singapore
Hakodate Maru.... SYDNEY & MELBOURNE via Marlia
Husni Moru
Nitti, Moru Kamakura Maru
Monday,
28th July
Tuesday,
12th Aug
SEATTLE & VANCOUVER (starts from Kobe)
20
Hikawa Maru NEW YORK via Japan & Panama
Wednesday,
6th Aug.
Francisco
27th July
Monday,
Monday,
24th Aug.
1st Soph
BAIGON
Matumoto Maru
Thursday,
17th July
BOMBAY vin Singapore & Columba
Hakone Maru
Wednesday, 23rd July
RANGOON & CALCUTTA vin Singapore
Thursday,
17th July
.Tuesday, Monday,
'T'uckday,
22nd July
26th July
12th Aug.
(b) huoting (c) the seafchapters make up the account of The first 15 of the book's 18 war, (e) the under-what has happened and why eates Amerlean entrance world.
In his last chapter, Werner advo. Info the from the suicidal foreign policy war. He also anticipates Russin's followed by Chamberlain and particlotion in the struugin on the
Musketeers"
8. The names of the "Three Daladier, through the Polish side of Britain, which lins been cor-
were and -
*
winter of 39-40, the spring
book was written.
9. If you have had none ex-ampaigns that ended in total Werner thinks that the Red Army tracted, how many teeth lefent for France and the is the most powerful In existence. would you have?
wakening of British resistance. ens provide the continental base and he points out that only tiesia Without anying 80 in so many from which Hitler can be attacked 10. The "Artful Dodger" is a words, Mr Worner shows that by a land enemy. Some may be in-
character in (a)
David France was not beaton: her Soviet military strength, but it must lined to intins at his estimate of Copperfield (b) Nicholas rotting social system simply be remembered that for a lot of other Nickleby (c) Tale of Two disintegrated.
things he sakl in his previous book Cities (d) Oliver Twist (o)
he was also laughed at..
Dombey and Son.
Answers on Page 12.
པ་་
Howover, there are not a few. things in "Battle For The World" with which somo-will-
Battle for the World" is certainly the most Important book of the Henson.
• Matumoto Marut
KORE & YOKOHAMA
• Nagato Maru
Nitta Maru
...: Kamakura Maru
• Cargo only..
Completo information from Your Agents or:
NIPPON YUSEN KAISYA
KING'S BUILDING
TELEPHONE 3029), General Passenger Agents In the Orient for Cunard White Star Line