Saturday,
WEEK-END WIT
Wife's Worry
"For months I couldn'i figure out where my husband spent his even- Inge, and then one night!!
"Yes, what happened?"
"Well, I came home and there he was!"
E
Seeing's Believing Circus Manager: "Why that star equestrlene of ours wants to divorce" one inttooed man to marry another tattooed in beats me!"
Assistant: "Her doctor
mended a change #dengry,"
Q.E.D.
recon-
A man's thought, anys a scientist. ure seldom level when his mind is on a curve.
Clock-Watcher
What Then?
HONGKONG TELEGRAPHE July 5, 1941.
Doclor: "Now don't warry about You'll have a different
"He is always watching the clock, yune wife, and yet gets on nicely in his job." wozun when whe returns from
***Whniz his job?”
"Balin aterr.”
less
*
Exchangeable
The recruits were having their first
in this use of the parachute. "Now," sold the instructor, "If any- thing goes wrong in the air, Just Jump out, count three and pull this ring. maid you'll land os soft as a innklen's klas. If it doesn't open, bring it back and we'll give you another one."
咿
✡
It Hurts Now!
"How did you get that bump on your heal?"
Efficient
Complainant: things at me
ever
married."
are
"She's thrown We place Magistrate "And now, after twenty vers, you
aking the court's
were
you?"
protection?"
Complainant: "Well, air, her atm s
Retting good."
Points of View
An optimist is one whose
ass is
inlt fuit; a pessimist is one whose
place is hall empty,
th
»
**
Precocity
Ok Lady: "Are you a little buy
ot a little girl2"
Prevociona
would I be?"
Child: "Want
Sweet
Many a honey has been
away by a busy hare.
Done Enough
else
carried
Experlant Father: "Er--r-
there anything 1 can do?"
Nurse: "No. Your'er done quite encuri."
→
་
He Was!
fortni
First Army Dentist: "Was that oldier surprised when he you'd pulled out all bls terils?”
"War het Second Army Dentist: You should have seen his face."
Doing Their Duty
During A..., exercises, à warden received notification that a bomb had report 10 hit a public-house. 11is
headquarters was: "No casualties, No trace of gas, Big escape of beer, We are doing our best to stem flaw."
❤
*
Adonis Sailor: "Another fellow were shipwrecked on a desert island
with a beautiful blande."
anci
Listener: "Was the other fellow
better looking than you were?"
Sailor: "No, I was the one who found her every time she hid."
A *
Up In Arms
1
"his wife won't go to bed until four asn, and 1 can't break her of the habit."
"What does she do all that time?“ Waits up for me!"
*
Her Error
She: "Omeer, I'm sure there's a
mun following ine."
Policeman: "Miss, you're
taken."
She: "How's that?"
mis
Policeman: "There are at least a dozen men following you."
TELEGRAPH
QUIZ
"The wile Bnew her hat at ma" "Be surely that wouldn't hurt
hospital."
Husband: "But what if she finds out, doctor?"
CONTRACT How to Play
BRIDGE
OSEPH
Beautiful Lead
Howat
Hollywood Husband
In the selection of the opening lead, It was South's misfortune that: Hollywood'a deßnition of a hus-judgment is not the only vital in the player on his left was for above band-What's left of a sweetheart,gredient-the lender ates requires the average. West had listened to the after the nerve's been cut 611."
simple quality known nerve, bidding very intently and it was cloar To-day's hand, in which a slam con- to him that success or failure of the tract was at riske, is a case in point, contract would probably depend on
EN
Cool and Collected
in the early hours of the morning the siren went. All the hotel guests in various stages of atthe-all except da hed-doven to the air-rold shefter
one young mon.
Five minutes inter he walked in, and started to bot
"Why all the hurry?" be sold "I slayed behind to dress. Why, I didn't like my first choice of tle, so changed it!"
"Ping," said one of the other guests "God quietly. "But whero's your trou-
154 She's a warden now!"
"I now pronounce you man, wife and mother-in law!”!
-Irving Rair in "Judge"
BOOK OF THE WEEK
THREE FAMOUS CHINESE SISTERS
(The following review of Emily about Madame Kung, which is Hahn's widely discussed new back, that her financial wizardry has "The Soong Sisters," was written built up what is probably the by Nym Wales (Mrs Edgar Snow) and appeared in a recent Issue of greatest personal fortune in "The Nation," published in New modern Chinese history. With delicate irony Miss Hahn merely
York).
The famous Soong sisters are remarks that Madame Kung learned "how much science there already fairly well known
is in banking." Americans, though this
to
re-
1. She rules more than 60-viewer knows of only one other 000.000 people, and is the full-length biography-"Three only reigning queen of an Sisters," empire. Who is she? -
2. For whom was the State of
Pennsylvania named?
❤
•
by
ran
away
his to
on a coas-
The Father
written
Pearl This Soong family is almost Buck's sister, Cornelia Spencer, as much American as it is Chinese, though we have few which appeared in 1939.
family Alger stories to match Emily Hahn. Is the clever its history. Apprentice Charlie
novelist whose Soong
from American sketches and stories are familiar uncle's
Boston shop in to readers of "The New Yorker," become cabin-boy She has lived in China during tal side-wheeler. Ho want- the past five years, and her ed a modern education and was 4. Which of the following material for "The Soong Sisters" adopted by a Confederate gen- words are misspelled was collected with the co-eral. who sent him through Gullotine, frieze, dessicate, operation of Madame H. H. Vanderbilt University. Charlie corroborate, annihilate, Kung and Madame Chiang Kai- went to Shanghai in 1886 as a paratoll.
3. Where is "Hell's Corner"?
beauty.
**
*
*
墉
噜
shek.
.
Rubber bridge. South dealer.
Both sides vulnerable.
AQRA
OAK Q03 ŠAJO
الله ترکی ترم
RS
AJO VQ1080
◊ 10972
1093
I
A73 DA7432 OJGL
+ 8 t 2
N W E S
AK 10052
OH
KQ74
South West
LA
Pass
North 30
JA
Pas
4
GA
Pass
0 A
Pass Риня
The bidding:
Pans Insa
East Pens Pass
the minnber
of heart tricks that could be taken immediately by the defen- ders, I
I imagine most players in West's portion would reach this the me conclusion, but I fear that
majority,
in acting upon their would ruin their own cause. woul
rent
Abn all of them, I venture to say, would promptly lay down the heart ace, praying that they would find the king in partner's hand. This par Hicular West did not belleve in pul- Ung all his eggs in one basket. After a few seconda thought, his selection war not the heart ace, but a low heart. He knew that if East really bad the heart king, his piny could cost nothing and would be fully as good as the lead of the nice, but he alsu knew that there was a distinct chhure that the adverse heart hold- ing would be somewhat on the order of the one that actually existed, and in that eare he would give declarer something to think about!
North-South were not using a slom convention, hence North's four club bid was intended portly as a cue bid, Obviously, declarer dkt have
head-splitting problem to solve. howing comrot, and partly as narking-time device. When South Is highly unusual, to say the least, for raised the clubs. North felt that a a player to lend away from an ace on lam looked better than ever, but the opening lead against sim con- there was still the heart situation to tract, hence it reflects no discredit on Le co
considered, hence having bid very South that be made the wrong guers, strongly up to this point, North now He put up du
dummy' jack, just as al- eintented himself with supporting most. every declarer—expert, average, la or spades and left the final decision or dub-would do. East, of course,
was die partner.
In the absence of some covered with the queen and was Indication that North could control lighted to and himself in possession hearts, South's dec
dection to bid the of a trick. A heart return to West's Stan was detinetly optimistle, but nice clinched the contract's defeat. one thing is certain and that is that Obviously, any other lead by West it would have turned out splendidly would hive left the defenders against almost all defenders. helpless.
Che SNAPSHOT GUILD
PICTURING THE HOUSE
A good camera position, eunahing striking at an angle, and a tree for "framing"-all help make a pleasing home picture. Good chote at home ars easy with any camera.
How many good pictures of your
home do you havo in the snap- shot colloclion? And are they really good ones? You know, it's just as easy to take a good picture as any other kind and much more eats. fying,
Most folks made two mistakes in picturing a house. First they choose the wrong viewpoint; second, they te the camera upward. Maybe you don't make these mistakes-and if that's the case, your pictures of home are probably better than av erage. Good camera position, and a properly levelled camera, ace "halt the picture."-
A straight front view of a house la saldom the bost view. Usually a diagonal low-the way you first soo the houro as you come along the street is preferable. It'o joss formal, and more natural, This is tho view chosen for the house in the picture abovo-obriously maro altractive than a "hend-on" shot
The lovel camera is important because, if you tilt the camera up,
the house appears to tilt in your pleture. This can be avoided by ahooting from a greater distance, which enables you to get all the house in without tiitlug the lens upward. Or, you can shoot from a higher position, which helps too.
A sunny day is best for hours pic taros. Pick an hour when the sun strikes at an angle, as this shown up the detalls the inon of tho weatherboarding, the window out- Ines, and other features.
You do not need to show all of the house in every plcture. Au at tractivo doorway or window bay, a gabled end those alona mako highly effectivo abota. "Framing" also lends attractiveness. Notice la the picture aliove how the largo troo and overhanging branches havo baon used to make a pleasant natural "frame."
Try these dens on your house. They'ro simple-but they yield the best shola-and your home should by all moaus bo.presented nitrac tively in the album.
John van Guilder
preacher for the Southern has been the power behind her important asset to that govern- "The elusive Madame Sun Yat- Methodist Church, but made his husband's throne ever since, ment, especially in winning sen, however, refused to be fortune selling Bibles and for- Dr Kung is now Minister of foreign sympathy. Her books 5. Poppaca Sabina was a la interviewed and was, therefore, cign machinery.
Finance,.
have been widely read abroad. film star (b) character in a rather neglected and misinter-
Chingling married Dr. Sun It is to be regretted that this cartoon strip. (c) brand of preted in the story. This has He married the daughter of face powder (d) Roman always been the stumbling block one of the earliest Christian shortly after her return in 1913 biography, because it evasively his right-hand skirts Internal family feuds and confronting writers who have families in China, and their six and became aspired to do such a composite children were all educated in helper and an active revolution the political problems which biography. Evidently Madame the United States from an early ary in her own right. Since Dr determine the character of its 6. What cloth has a direct re- Su prefer not to be considered age. The three attractive and Sun's death in 1924 bis widow subjects and their role in China,
ference to royalty in its
intelligent daughters has been a living symbol of falls short of being a critical a pillar of the ruling "Soong highly name?
dynasty" but an independent were sent to Wesleyan College integrity not only in China but work. It is not without authori 7. What does OPM stand for? torch-bearer for her husband's for Women at Macon, Georgia; for socially conscious people ty, however. It is that part of For (Eling, usually spelled Ai-ling) everywhere. She is now in her the story which Madame Chiang revolutionary principles. her own story, we shall doubt and Chingling at the age of forties, still beautiful, still bent and Madame Kung wish to see on achieving the social changes presented to the public, and is less have to await an auto- fifteen, and Mayling at nine.
so long delayed in China, and to be considered in the general biography.
Idol Of People
still the idol of youth and of the class of "authorised biography." most fascinating human-interest Charlie Soong was a secret common people of her country. Miss Hahn is eminently qualified Mayling came home from to, have done a much better story in China, and Miss Hahn follower of Sun Yat-sen, "Father
of her of the Chinese Revolution." and Wellesley in 1917 and was study had she not been obliged has made good use When did Egypt become material, especially in the case on their return to China both Shanghai's reigning society bello to pussy-foot in order to secure Protectorate? Until when?!
of the father, Charlie Soong. Eling and Chingling became until 1928, when she married the necessary co-operation,
Tho Soong and in giving a new personalised Sun's secretaries. Eling resign- Chiang Kai-shek, who soon es. Nevertheless,
the do Sisters" is a delightful and well- 10. What have these in com- portrayal of Madame Kung, ed to marry H. H. Kung, a tablished himself as
hend of the Chinese writton book, and the author mon--Etesian, harmattan, least mown of the three sisters. Y.M.C.A. secretary. She had facto kamsin, pampero, sirocco? The author, however, failed to four children, developed into an Government. Madame Chiang's has handled a delicate, subject
make the most important point extremely competent lai-tai, and charm and energy, has been an with much sklil.
8. An erg is a (a) measure of
energy (bl Swiss mountain
(c) kind of mammal (d) plating process.
鱽
..
Answers on Page 12.
The Soong family is the
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Help Bombed Civilians In Britain Research Old clothes of all descriptions Station are badly needed for Men, Women and Children in the Bombed Areas in Britain. Such gifts will be received by the B. W. O. F., c/o Government
1
Edited by
Dr. G. A. C. Harklote:
Houso, during office hours. Now on Sale Mondays to Fridays from 9.30 at a.m. to 4 p.m., allowing for Lunch Interval and Saturdays Morning Post Building. from 9.30 a.m. until 1 p.m. Price $3.00.