Saturday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.
June 14, 1941,
CONTRACT How to Play
BRIDGE
·AND
How to Win
-By JOSEPHINE CULBERTSON-
An All-Important Jacke
IT is disheartening to be dealt af Obviously. North and South were
hand containing, only one Jack, just timid bidders!
and the *situation is. carcely
brightened by the opponents climbing Weal upened his fourth best heart, grily to a stain. Yet, on an amaz. The are won and declarer led dun- ing number of occalens, the holder my's diamond jack.
in for him to cast off discouragement
WEEK-END WIT
Practice
Dentist "Pardon me, madam, but before beginning this work I must no to the next room for my drill."
Lady-"Good gracious, mun! Can't you pull out a tooth without a re- hearsal?"
Conversation Pleco
"I've been taken for my own daughter.”
You don't
"How absurd, my dear! look old enough to have a daughter
and stay alert to every possibility, felt that covering would permit de-as old as that."
however remote. Note-
to-dny's
East covered of the "bust" can strike a telling and the king won. The club ten led toward dummy and blow for his skile. The vital thing now wES
West, for some,
unaccountable
rell falled to cover. Perhaps he clarer to
finesse against the nine- spot later. If so, his analysla was bad, and declarer proceeded to take full advantage of the situation.
Declarer double
hand.
South dealer.
-Both akter vulnerable.
AK 10
A703
OJO
KQ832
A
N
108542
0743
JUDA
WE S
A00761 VKQJ 090
4A70
AAJ843
OAK 10862
昨10
South
West
North East
10
Pano
24
24
Рдня
3NT
Рава Paas
Голя Pans Dbla
Роль Puss
Pass
The bidding:
figured
East's from
*
Bad Business
The Parson Speaking
Inspiration Drics Up
"I got tight in order to compose
a new drinking song."
“And did it work?"
No, I couldn't get beyond the first two bars."
Speaking From Experience
The mistress was interviewing a new mald who claimed that she had worked in Switzerland.
"And how do foreign dishes com- pore' with English ones?" shio'naked, with an Jaterested air.
"Oh, they break Just as exully,"
"At the end of the service to-night came the rejoinder. the choir wili ging's specini unthem composed by the organtst, after "1 tried counting sheep, and. It was which the church will be closed for that, the spade suit was no good, I simply catildn't got to a month for necessary repairs." bunked against him. If that were sleep," said the clotting manufac- true, one
one discard on a club would hurer to his partner. do no good, hence he played for two discards by letting the club ten ride. (It should be noted that even if this lost to the jack in East's hand, de clarer would lose nothing, slice be
"I told you," the latter replied. "It was no good unless you counted up. to a thousand."
*
Maiden's Blush
*
The Agos Of Woman
A girl of twenty who contemplates marrying a man of forty, saya a clergyman, should remember that The only time you'll see a blushing when she is forty he will be sixty. bride nowadays is when the groom It is, of course, better for a girl of
forty to marry a inan of twenty- then they'll reach sixty round about the same time,
"I counted ten thousand," said the doesn't show up.
could inter send the club king inanufacturer. "I' sheared them,
through East's marked ace.) When the club ten drove out East's ace it was an over.
Declarer ruffed the led a
combed the wool, had it spun into cloth, and made into suits, took 'em
heart return, drew trumps; two a wink of sleep."
the king, spade to spaces on the king and queen of rubs, and successfully finessed against the spade queen for the fülfling tricks.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
de
wealth of lurid
"J'ACCUSET By Andre Always excepting General Simone. (Harrap, 8s. 6d. net.) Gaulle and M. Georges Mandel, the The still swelling output of or such a kind is the author's tale. skeletons are remarkably uniform. attacks by Frenchmen upon the He tells it with a French politicians contains detall. Those who like horrors will nothing more bitter than that ice this bookt. now launched by M. Simone, unhappy Ho dismisses M. Daladier as France the zest with which her "a sinister comedian" (p. 113), own sons are throwing their stones. Of M. Laval he writes:" "Yoar This book is too consistent to be trus
to life. The account of the Houre
One of the saddest things in the story of contemporary
in, year out, he wears the same Laval proposal of 1935 (app. 104- washable white necktle. Some 105) is in some important respecta attribute it to his stinginess, misleading. No mention is made of Others to its publicity value, the 1915 and 1925 commitments that And still others say he needs at lay behind It.
On the
*
Scots Wedding
Jock: "So yer · mairryin' ́ Jean- to market and Jost £21. I didn't get after a' these years?”
cudnne Sandy: "Aye. She
Kot the engagement ring off her Anger, she had got sae stoot."
.
*
•
No Room
They were seated on a diven
Bad Aim
tightly clasped in each other's arms. Sergeant: "Be careful with that "My parents may come between rifle. You only just missed me."
Recruit: "Sorry, sergeant!" us," she faltered,
"If they do," he exclaimed hotly. "they must be pretty damn small."
*
*
+
Nazi Nursery Rhyma
New Nazi Version: "Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog."
The Good Inside
"Mummy," said little Belty, "do missionaries go to Heaven?"
replied.
"Why, of course dear," her mother|
"Do cannibals?"
"No; I'm afraid they don't." the whole, however, tho som- least something clean. about bre facts have only too much justi-sisted, "if a cannibal cats a mission- "But, mummy," the little girl in- him.
fication. There are highly-coloured fary he'll have to go, won't he?" Such characterisations are passages, intensely interesting, but
subject
10
to the inevitable wonder that
Heartbroken
*
•
Equal Thrills
She: "Shall we, go to the zoo?" He: "No, let's stay here and bring
out the beast in me.”
Hen's Dilemma
*
Drifters
DOI: "Shall we drop the cars and drift down the river?"
Dora: "O.K. As long as we don't drift 100 far.".
His Error
you
Sergeant: "Why haven't shaved this morning?"
Recrult: "Well, sir, it must be this way. There was a dozen of us using the same bit of looking-glass; I must and shaved have been and gone
someone else."
Fooled Them
First Farmer: "What's allin' that "Do you think the
people here old 'en of yours?"
suspect we're newly married?" Second Farmer: "Shell ahock. "Not they! We've fooled them Ducks came out of the eggs she'd completely. In fact, half of them been sittin' on."
suspect we're not married at all."
Telegraph Quiz
1. On which day was land 7. Who said: "My father
created, according to Genesis?
typical of the general matter. attaches to prophecles when record- Nor is the matter confined to ed after the event. the events of June, 1940. We On p. 74, for instance, we read: "What's the matter with your 2. A proselyte is (a) a writer read on p. 57 that "from Sep-
"Flandin offered the War Ministry wife? She looks all broken up." tember,
Petain, who, on the advice of France 1939,
"Yes, she had an awful jar the had Weygand, refused.
your fother day. She took off her new hai delivered huge quantities of iron strength, cautioned Weygand. Per at a jumble sale, and someone sold ore to Germany and had received haps you are fated to play the same it for a shilling." German coal in return. The role in France as findenburg in
route of transit was by way of Belgium."
Germany."
Save.
What will be the effect of this contemporary French literature upon The politicians, Left and Right; the British Foreign Office, which, if the "wo hundred families"; M the indictment were only half true, Stavisky; the Regents of the Bank would thereby be proved guilty of of France; the Cogoulards; the Croix having based British, polley, and de Feu: all the skeletons are troited British strategy on a complete mis- out of the cupboard.
understanding of France?
+
Popular
"What are the three words most used by boys and girls in school?" asked the father of his son.
"I don't know," was the reply. "That's
said the father. "You've guessed it the first time."
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of prose (b) an ancient Greek god (c) a convert to 8. Judaism (d) a Biblical text.
3.
What percentage of cow's milk is water?
•
E
9.
4.
Which is England's oldest possession
Australia,
South Africa, India, New- foundland?
5. What was Michelangelo's
10.
Surname?
*
6. From 1649 to 1658 Eng-
land was
ruled by a
· commoner-who?-
hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions."
*
Who wrote (a) Lord Jim (b) Last of the Mohicans (c) Lorna Doone (d) Back! to Methuselah?
Teetotum is (a) a ledger
account (b) a non-drinker (c) a spinning top (d) a wolf-like animal.
Which two of these have spelling mistakes--gym- khana, varigated, fuscha, occasional, parallel, alli teration?
"Answers"on" Page 17
Che SNAPSHOT GUILD
MAKE THEM "DIFFERENT"
Shots such an this-with an Individua), "different”, touch-lend life to your album. Try some, as a'change from ordinary, routing poses. VERYBODY his his preferences; —the child simply stande or alle -in picturos, in reading mht and jooks at the camera. Yet every ter, in victuals, and other things. chifd bas, a personality of its own. Abraham Lincolo summed it ope-or so bad poraonal manner neatly when he said, "You will liko ime, and personal activities. Those this story, if this is the kind or are picture material, and will loud that necessary touch of "truth and story you like."
Jadividuálity to your pletures. However, dokpite differences of
Trouble? Nena at all. Shots of taste, most people agres on cho Junior curled up on the couch in point. They fool that something in soma absurd pose walio ho roads dividual-something a little bit out the Sunday comics-shots of your of the ordinary-is bettar. It is the little girl lecturing her doll on. "diferent" frontmont-the "ladi.
proper behaviour-shots of them vidual touch"--that counts, "
both trying to teach the puppy to That's especially true in snop de tricks-these are just as cary shots. A olover idea-é different | 1o. got as the old, routine shoir, poso-a little individuality in the Earler, sometimes-because chil lightlog' or Arrangement — these dren are natural actors, and take give you platures that make peos readily to an idea if it seems like ble sit up and take notice. And play.
they're more interesting to you And this is just one floid. The toother give you mors, mifitio- same rule applies to all other snap- Jak jihots, Beak the individust touch-ar Consider one concreto unge the different" favour--and 'you'll napakata of children, Yoë Edon | Bulla nit albuns that is much more thest mods of them are "too-muck | intérenting. G alike." "As a rule, they tell no story,
JOHN-YAN GUILDTA,
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