10
Mr.
Saturday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
August 17, 1940,
UP-
By
Our Tame Humorist
667THEN
SHE
that's a do," said Dumby. "Half-past two on
Wednesday. We're going down
Then Dumby would give me a tinkle and call it off and I should get that afternoon, nap | which is so essential to my com- plexion.
But I didn't. Wednesday blossomed fine, and stayed so. By noon the glass was high, the scarlet pimpernel wide open, and the cat refused to wash behind
GOES!
to Bullock's Barn, under Hideaway her ears, There was nothing
Hill.
It's only about four
Meet
at you
Pringle's Wednesday. Half-past two.
a!"
Only about four miles. .
miles. for it but to find Frlugle's pig- sty. That was easy. One, just pigsty, sniffed and followed the gleam; Righty- were the Dumbys, with lots of Only! But
why worry? By all the rules of the game Wednes
If my luck held, it day was bound to be wet. would come on about cleven, after a speckless morning, and rain cats and dogs and stair-rods.
and there it was. There, tou,
baskets, and Miss Gooch under a red sunshade, and the dog Spider.
Of course, everybody wanted No. to carry everything. let me have that.
Ob. I can No, please, let take this. me. I'd love to, really. And this being my lucky day, 1 got off with a camp-stool.
Mrs. Dumby arranged it all. "Herbert can carry the food
PEPYS Telegraph Saturday Features basket, and the cups and steer
HONGKONG
9th-This day I was engaged to take a pretty wench to eat nuncheon with inee at the Hostelry but I am mightily disgruntled when shee rings
the ground
1
and I'll take the kettle..
No. an during our dinner about the housear. I'll take the kettle, if you Company. There pretty as ever but alast No pretty hold bills which are in a very sad don't mind.
well assured, "You see, the last time we pic- wenches disporting themselves in the condition, and I swimming pool above the green, as money may bee saved. And so to nicked, Herbert took the kettle:
I did remember when last lid roll bed. a wood there, The green is a trinc 12th. The weather somewhat
and we doe heavy but very true"
At my office all day. Comes proceed, though in my, risk tour fairer. opponents dor have somewhat the a letter from my wife dated the tenth better of us though the sebring is day of June and I doe perceive It very low, but the rain comes on, as was the ayre mall which did fail to ever at a week end, and in the end set through and has come by sea But of a rebale upon the half are washed aut unfinished, coute. wee though they have the better of es, Crown stamp the Master of the King's After in the Pavillion wee dor Mayles can tell mee nothing. drinke a glasse or two but the rain
13th-At seven of the clock to- the mee upon the electric telephone to persists and so back to the Clubbe night meet Mistress Belly at state that she did overlook and after home and so to bed.
Hostelry and after a dish of tea, to Parlier invitacion and could not come.
11th, (Lord's day)--Lay scinewimt the King's Picture House where wee "Turnabout." And, being but human i did wander f my eye had been wiped and, late and after breaking my fast did see a picture entitled
and be stopped to listen to a Lesser Sorethroat and left it be. hind., Had to go back two miles for it."
Ile
I kept my eye on Herbert. wasn't going to do that with the food basket, not while I was about.
So off we went; over park, over pale, through bush, through briar. Also through brambles, und nettles. and
scratchy hedges. and barbed wire. And nobody split a single drop Was the of milk or anything. It most wonderful picnic I have ever assisted at. Gold of buttercups, so, by whom. Bat upon the whole He for a space in my garden whyle it is funny enough yet not so fun silver of daisies-everything
as the book from which it departs doc Irtifie to believe her which after 1 for n walk but Lord: it somewhat, which it may bee is as garden was lovely, and clammy, and
Back to the Hostelry for hut, slicky. After one had it been kilp I would not have go It
a I wanted a large beer, or even a cup doth depress my spirits for emptiness of the houses can be felt diance and even now there bee
plenty dancing. A mighty pleasant of ten, with maybe a cacumber sand- evening and the first on which I have wich complete with ants. POCKET CARTOON escorted a pretty lady these many
ince them
mee
dane. Took my auchwon at the Clubbe and extra glasse of Hollands waters to drown my dis- appointment for 1 have not spoke?: to a woman these many days, wel nigh all my friends being evacuated. However am cheered for that Mr. Spice and his pretty lady bid
the Snake-Pit and there wee do drink a glasse or twa at I hone ki dine with thein. their large Alsatian dogge which is as friendly a beast.as even 1 knew, A mighty pleasant
end anon evening comes in Major T. Douzen and we talk much of this and that Yer doe go home pretty betimes and reach there by eleven of the clock and so to bed.
and
"Remember,
the
the Jeinil Fuehrer hadn't reached you from. the brutal British bivekade you'd be starving by now."
.weeks.
take to
the
LIVERY moment took us far-
slic
ther and farther from civili- 14th-Willa Mistress M. our nuncheon at the hostelry and igation; but still we plodded on. perceive that I am in way to become cheered up by Mrs. Dumby's social again. But I doubt it will not sparkling chatter and Miss last. Before we did drinke a glasse Gooch's botany. or two of Hollands and I did perceive Mistress M's dimples to bee still in being.
After to the Law Courts with some fusty business of swearing an afidavit--as if I did not swear enough otherwise, God forgive mee and so back to my offee and there very busy until nigh upon seven of the clock.
15th. Last night at the Clubbe with Mr. Povey, Creed und others wee did speak of the which as a general rule 1 like not to due. And it is agreed that we have made Hitler fall behind his set design, though I, for one, doe most heartily pray that hee attempts an
some wor
Yours zo she had written a book called "Wild Flowers I Have Slaugh- tered, and she knew them all to speak to Every ten minutes stopped to prod something with her parasol, and introduce us to the Lesser Bugweed ог the Spotted
W#S Goat's-Beard. All of which Tremendous fun. And Mrs. Dumby lightened our loads with bits of rural poetry.
10th-Up pretty betlines and did bathe and tran myselfe, taking as is my wont a new blayde to my razor, it being a Saturday. And in my bath
Now she was wandering, lonely as doe fall to wondering how many
a cloud, now tripping it on the light blaydes I have used in my razer
fantastic toe, or setting out for In- which I have had since my Aunt did
nisfree, necompanied by nine beans. give it to mee in 1911 before I did come to the East. And it came into like a weight upon one's heart,-ind invasion. For to my mind a better Sometimes she begged us to give to my mind that the razor hath worn though i walk for an hour I meet opportunity for the mass-killing of her the life she loved, and let the better than I. To Caldbecks but two Europeans and them I know Huns could not bee granted us. lave go by her or besought us to where I find one or
Home and took comfort in a Newes this afternoon that wee have hark, the nightingale, two of my not.
north Italian ayre-crafi throated.... A rooster two miles acquaintance and, thanks bee to glasse of strong waters whyle Ba bombed
of John factories, and 1 22171 glad of it away, advertising his wife's eggs. Providence, there is no Cunnery sits beside mee in one talked, though Major O Trigger did David's wicker chairs in which I For if Hitler bee a wolf, Mussolini is
Then Miss Gooch wilted. accuse me of calibrating my tonsils wheel him about to his great content-but a hyaena, as I doubt not the with the aid of juniper. But what ment. After lunch I doe read and Htations may yet come to know. This Here was a nice field, she said, full he did menn I know not unless it then in the Hospital where I see evening late in my office and thence of buttercups, and lots of shade under was some strange Erse expression. Purser Eddy who mends apace and to the Clubbc, where good company, the hedges.
and after and thence home with my he-child, Took my nuncheon at the Cluble and so to the Peake Clubbe
Bir.
the
tawny-
"But what's that?" asked Mrs. D. after to the Krickett Clubbe where home, feeling very lonely, until Ba though this business of the Trainme
comes and sleeps upon my stomach, Irks mee, and I pray that the bridge "Is that a cow, and what does one do I meet the teara who go to play a My he child returns somewhat late will soon bee built, Home and to about cows? They are so dreadfully
untidy and inquisitive. game at bowles against the Electric and wee doe have a great discourse bed.
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"Cows," I assured her, "are easy. You poke them in the sirloin with 'Groop." your umbrella and say Then they gain away. But this one is bull. The only thing to do with a bull is to take it by the horns; and us I'm carrying this camp-stool—"
"I don't think we'll go in there," said Mrs. Duraby. "Our own little place is so much better, and it isn't for now."
"I'm going to sit here," said Miss Gooch, "on this darling little hum- mock all made for me. A fairles dining-table, I'm Httle Misb Muffett."
"That," said Dumby, "is an ant- hill and Miss Gooch rose as one man. She rose about four feet. She also shrieked. "In Uganda," Bold Dumby, the ant-hills are often several feet high, and my brother tells me
"Herbert," said Mrs. D.; but Her bert was busy with the fire.
"It's burning up." said Dumby. "They're white ants, you know, us big is that. And they'll eat any- thing. And one day, George, that's my brother, left his trousers hang- ing on his tent"
"Herbert," said Mrs. Dumby, peer- ing into the kettle.
"Shan't be a jiffy," and Dumby. "Hairy Bugswool," sald Miss Gooch, and pointed to yellow thing.
"Millions and millions, of ants," said. Dumby. "And when he got back from his bathe, all that was left of his trousers"
"HERBERT," shouted Mrs. Dumby. You've forgotten, to water."
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