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Friday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. July 12, 1940.
WHEN
GONE ENGLAND
LAUGHS
ARE THE HORSE
AND CARRIAGE
And Gone with thom are the old-fashioned methods of wax- ing the carriage.
Have you been using the same
through force of habit? Don't use a horse and cantiago auto wax.
It is no longer necessary to work all day, to wear yourself :" out.. to HUB and HUD. in ordor to attain a waterproof. weather resisting wax linish for your car.
Try WHIZ LONDON, COACH WAX for longer lasting beauty for your automobile and less work for you. Your waxing troubles, like the horso and buggy, will be
Whe
Gone
Sold Here HONGKONG-
HOTEL GARAGE Stubbs Rd.
Hongkong Telegraph.
Friday, July 12, 1940. Wyndham St., Hongkong Telephone: 20015
THE PIEŃK "Special to the Telegraph" le used by the "flangkang, Telegraph to Indicate news which is strictly togyrisht under the provisions of the Telecommuni- Taŝions Ordinance, 1926. Such zOWE AF bears the indication “UP” is received in Hongkong on the date of publication by the United Prosa Associations, who re- FOTVO NIE ZÍghts and forbia repubiication, either wholly or in part without previous krrangement
Stop The Four Columns
(YNICS
stand the Englishman it is necessary to listen to his jokes, however painful that experience may be
that Stalin is playing the right game
for this country."
The daily, or rather hourly, re-| talling of such stories certainly re- veals the modem Englishman's grip Cortainly the attitude of the man of trends in international politics, as in the street towards the present war they display his capacity for "amiling cannot be better Illustrated than by at atlet." Perhaps one of the most the type of popular humour that has irksome features of this war to date been evoked. As a student of the has been the necessary evacuation of little things that conjointly make up large sections of the city populations. social history, I have been particular- There has been much onguish at much discomfort and malad- much strain оп the
trend
ly Interested to observe the taiment,
of that humour, and its brave sg or patience of country folk. But all has Alcances. After a long experience of
wholly
Individual
the oversens Briton in particular, his been tempered by a running com- broad smile and emotional vagaries, mentary of characteristic good hum I have been greatly impressed by the our. home-dweller's
For instance, there is the chestnut (already) of the East End mother TRECTION..
For instance, the man who seized who counselled her small son: "Tell me by the arm soon after the de- your teacher that you don't want to claration of war, to confide the news be evacuated. You had a sore arm that Hitler was in hospital as a re- last time, remember." Then there is sult of falling over a Pole in the the yarn of the little lad who had Corridor, was not displaying a flip- been taken to a country house, and, the magnificent, pant mind. Rather was he letting as he was led up me know that war held no terrors tree-lined drive, suddenly burst into for him. Thus humour is the Eng- tears. „
don't want to live in a forest." he lishman's armour against,adversity, Kore
replied to sympathetic query, And yet another youngster told his country host that "the war will not last long note." On being pressed for a reason, he continued: Well, father hu Just been called up for the Army, and mother says hel never keeps a job for longer than a
Only the other
It is extremely significant, how ever, that a large proportion of the war-time jokes have been directed against Killer personally.
Humorous contempt rather than month.* violent haired for the Nazi lender. and for the lead- Ing members of his entourage, hasp been daily ex- pressed by a mit-
and
titude of quip fests, gavin fests, saying even sunga, realnisc
·by-
זיי
D. COWIE
FUNNY SIDE UP
By Abner Dean
ABNER DEAN
CGK 1800 17 Uhind Tikbare lynälesta, Isnį
"I don't like this item on your expenso account, Pogson
cost of marrying the prospect's daughter!”
$300,
Life in A British
:
Submarine
THE submarine, originally, control room; the helmsman, day a friend of mine entered into was intended to act the part of who is always awaiting orders conversation with a mobile mine field, but early from the Captain in the conning a small "evacuce" experience soon proved these tower, and tow others looking during
train Journey. The
he deadly underwater craft to be after the hydroplanes and with child spoke very.
major weapons of Naval offen- eyes fixed upon the diving serously about sive warfare, attacking war gauges. Theirs is a colossal the progress off
but ships and enemy commercial responsibility-the safety of the war, of the ballads on "Boney" at the said that her brother knew far transport.
their fellows depending upon. time of the
Napoleonic wars. Songs more about it Linn she did. as "Run, Adolf, Run," have indicated reads all the papers and knows all crews lead an unnatural and must be remembered that a better than any political analysis about them foreign
countries and
very delicately what is the spirit of the common what they're up to. You should hear unhealthy life. While too-long submarine is
aboot
a spell, necessitated by naval balanced, and when submerged. action, resting on the sea-bed must keep on a spirit-level keel.
where the air becomes pretty
Englishman. The climax of this
type him talk to me Moother
vas undoubtedly reached Argue, argue all day long."
He Laymen think Bubmarine their absolute eficiency.
of humour WOR
1100s of the Nazi "Big Four" cover" replied the
paper published full-page brother's ogc. "Oh,
In the first days of the war, when a friend enquired as to the 2
and living in a confined space
Ittle
just
girl.
I my
It
In the war will a sturdy foul, is temporarily unhealthy, THE engine-room staff are advertisements Issued by the police. Ind of mine, and foolishly committed it is no more unnatural to work expert mechanicians, all highly One of the most popular radio pro- myself to the opinion that it might
*
President Vargas of Brazil is right in saying that the world is marching toward a future different from all We have rummes weekly retalla: the adven not last so very long. "All, but we in a submarine than it is down trained in every type of Diesel
and electric machinery. a mine. of "Hitma" and his confederates said exactly the same thing in 1914, tures known. But he is wrong in his Funk, Fusspot and Bodkin; while didn't we?" he instantly replied.
Of these two fields of essential The speed of submarines when apparent. assumption that free popular parlance
already lobels
national service working under- submerged varies from 9 knots. "fatty Goering, **lille Gochbels" government is outmoded and that and "Dribblingdrop."
sens in a submarine is generally upwards with a surface speed of THEN there is the case of the the future belongs to force and But the
a far more comfortable job than from 12 knots to 25 knots in the story of the Cockney nationalism. Plainly democracy
charwoman who enquired if it were small evacuee who was asked to
working down a mine, and has case of the newest type of craft. true that Hitler had once been a write an essay on living in the
such a contrast- must adjust itself to new condi-painter and decorator is perhaps the country, and who said: "It does
ing varitey of tions, must make itself more
mental occupa- effective in the economic and so
tions that the cial life of peoples. But there is
nothing new in the doctrine that "vigorous peoples, fit for life must follow the route of their aspirations."
her
the
by
All the mac- hinery is easy to handle, and when in action
SPITHEAD-the-men-stand
for hours by a wheel, a lever,
quated that nations In-which ten" It was another Cockney who the most ght!'shouts in A..R.P. volunteers. In spite of the being hunted, they are always
where governments do not dare made of the Parls report that, where-
"Meln Dampf." And much has been "I don't care what it is. Put it out
keep dictatorship and aggression titler before the war, only 12 still who roused
claimed that doubtful distinction out that his windows were inade
going even temporarily. Re-ence war was declared. crudescences of despotism fight
* * *
most revealing of the attitude of the seem odd not having_any_pave- common folk, On receiving adirmative answer, she said reflectivements to walk on. But I sup country people have got yes,o's my husband, po much tuney is London-submariner matched, indeed, by the yarn nbout Possibly it was the same child who foregts his sur- the newspaper, seller in Ludgate informed teacher that
roundings Cireus,
on the or a switch, in tense concentra- reus, who exhorted the passers-by: Equator was "a Maginot Line run through concentration
you are good laugh for a ning round the world."
intricate machinery he uses. His tion awaiting orders from the penny. Hitler's speech in fully" Stories like these, circulating in life on board is lived with executive officers, and which
Commenting on remark by club and bar, wardens' post and sew-
machines and scientific appara- they repeat to make sure they There is nothing new in bar-
Goebbels that "Germans now know ing guild, have undoubtedly helped
have heard correctly. tus, barism, despotism, and pagan- conducter is rumoured to have said: of the war.
a London bus England to bear the miner hardships where they stand," a London
Even the "black-out" Service aboard submarines, In war, life aboard a sub- ism. Indeed they are so anti-"Yes, in a queue waiting for three- each night has not unduly depressed while it is hazardous task under marine is an exacting and
quarters of an ounce of synthetic a people who can extract fun from
war conditions, has never lacked anxious task. Hunting, and uncomfortable restrictions. Christianity and enlightenment passed on the information that the "Put out that
High Command have been really established German
On the surface would warden to a weary householder, who mishaps that have marked the facing death. shortly issue a report on the flooding have outgrown them.
oding replies patiently "That's the Only of the Siegfried Line, to be entitled mister." And the warden bellows: progress of the submarine, there they are targets for bombs from is always a waiting list of fast-moving aircraft, or the to let their citizens know or as 34 inmates of a Saar lunatic concerning a member of the Police undertake
I can vouch myself for the incident volunteers willing to serve and quick-firing guns of their tradi
intensivo special tional enemy, the destroyer; speak the truth is it possible to asylum declared themselves to be Reserve, on duly for the first time, training in mental efficiency when submerged they are the
householder to point
and in physique..
prey of mines and of the dreaded quately darkened. Afterwards the Submarine crews are all pick- depth charge. The latter weapon amateur constable politely took his ed men, who must, possess the has been mainly responsible: leave, apologising for any trouble he The South China Morning Post, Ltd., against an unquenchable, over- AT least twenty people in all might have cases aliked that the, before acceptance for training. of Germany's U-Boats, Caught caused. Just as politely, makings of a first-class physique for the destruction of so many
is receiving subscriptions to
hor Vargas cannot tolerate tell me the story about the too, had something to point out. The A record of personal efficiency on the surface the crew have a violence and disorder in his own is German guide: "I ace that
policeman was wearing his helmet drawn up by Commanding of sporting chance of escape, but Russian in Berlin who says to back to front.
cers of ships in which volunteers when their craft is submerged. country; modern invention la fast Hitler Strasse is late Bismarck unburdened herself to a mutual ac
A-woman, friend of mine thus have previously served is vital, and meets a depth charge, well THE FUND TO ASSIST rendering the world too small a Strasse, and Stalin Strasse is quaintance: "I must, write a letter and no man who is not mentally aimed, death is practically
place to tolerate the inter-late Friedrich Strasse." Where to Mr. Chamberlain at once. It is alert, dependable and loyal, and certain. BRITAIN'S WAR EFFORT. force would bring.
national anarchy his reign, of upon the Berliner replies: "That about those horrid people next-door of good temper, would be con- Defeating a depth charge is a who leave their washing out all is so, comrade, late Bolshevik night. It makes such a splendid
sidered, however physically fit. matter of expert underwater sea- scum
target for the enemy." And after
manship, when the Captain. The fact that the head of the "But there is a slightly different the raids on the Forth a flood of
navigates his craft. away from THE "submariner" is the scene of operation and The whole of the money subscribed is largest Nation in Latin America ring to the reported conversation in "pawky stories descended from the a Regent Street bus between a North. One concerned the reason can come out at this crisis with woman who was expressing strong why the sirens were not sounding must possess the essentials with scientific apparatus which definito breed, and before train danger. Submarines are fitted. being handed to The Government of such a support of totalitarianism views on Moscow and the weedy. cons during the first rald. It was alleged
ductor who eventually replied: "I that Scotsmen never took cover save of this special type before being enables them to listen when sub- ought to be a warning to every can assure you, madam, as a member during hospital tag days. And
merged to the passing of surface Hongkong for transmission to
lover of free government. This of the Wandsworth branch of the naturally the occupants of the train signed on.
One of a crew, yet he must be craft, and the accuracy of proceeding over the Forth Bridge nt could not have happened before
the time of the raid did not disem- highly individualised, for in his judgment of the rating-on. Some elements of the human bark on the southern side. They work, under stress of cir duty often determines the course. THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT Nazi and Fascist might overran mind will decide that wrong is had paid their fares for the cross cumstances, he may be called the Captain takes in piloting his
free nations. Their display of right if only it is supported by journey, and did not want to risk power has encouraged every dis- enough force.
upon temporarily to take com- craft away from destruction. having to pay them again.. For the Purchase of Aeroplanes or such other satisfied and undemocratic ele Fifth Columns are of little Armaments as the British Government may decide.ment in the world.
danger unless backed by the four THERE is no doubt now that at sca, can be depended upon by YET officers and crew are columns of force. But if re- the Englishman can find a joke his fellows to act at all times happy and contented shipmates, There are people even in the gimes dedicated to force con- to temper any hardship. Donations will be received by The South China United States who-influenced tinue to triumph, Fifth Columns
with absolute efficiency; they leading lives of give-and-take, A waiter remarked in my hearing rely upon him for the safety of and sharing dangers with a care-
the newspapers Morning Post. Cheques should be made payable to by the military successes of will spring up everywhere. Stop recently that even
have begun the four and the fifth will dis- from their pages, by omitting to own job, and a mistake might and habit. brutalitarianism
their lives. Each man hug his free abandon born of training were doing their best to banish gloom "War Fund-South China Morning Post Limited." to say, "Well, the Nazis have integrate. That means that publish weather reports and racing lead to the loss of the whole In the larger British sub- got something. Perhaps demo- calmly but vigorously, nations results. It was pointed out afving submarine's crew, numbering marines officers have very small All donations will be acknowledged in the columns cracy isn't so efficient. Maybe toward rule reason must des had thereby been increased to 14. twenty-seven in the small Unity cabins, and crow as much space
which have made some progress Budget that since the "cost of living" of The S. C. M. Post & The Hongkong Telegraph, we'd better not offend these tend themselves with democra- ume during the war advancing the Thames Class
3d, bank managers expected a busy Clasa and sixty in the latest as can be allowed to give them fellows It might be wiser to tically controlled force and do to 9d in the C that their ellents
reasonable comfort. I Laymen come to terms with them." it in time.
Tum to Pago 3, Third Column
Consider the three men in the Turn to Page 3 Third Column
.
mand. He must be a man of sterling character, who while
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