NANCY
TSK TSK---
AUNT FRITZI'S AWAY ON A SHOPPING TRIP AND THE
ICE BOX STOPPED
WORKIN' --*
NOW ALL
THE FOOD
WILL
GO BAD!
Thursday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
W-WHAT
WAS THAT?
By Ernie
THIS THEATRE
10 AIR COOLEN
20 OFORSEE COOLER
September 14, 1939.
Bushmiller
AUTOBRIDGE
THE PERFECT WAY TO LEARN OH! IMPROVE YOUR BRIDGE GAME
If you can't play Bridge, AUTOBRIDGE teaches you RIGHT !
**
If you can play Bridge, AUTOBRIDGE improves your game!
H
THIS
Cricket, Trevor Wignall be lieves, is the loveliest game in the world, but there are lots of things wrong with it-particu- larly with Test cricket. In this article he looks back on his many years' association with the game and its players, and tells you about some of the
things that are wrong.
Ε
WVERY second year Englunu and Australia appear to be on the brink of war. Ultimatums are issued, threats are published in all newspapers, hoot and jeers are
The Aussie lifted to the
Will Smile
TEST
CRICKET IS
Says
TREVOR WIGNALL
by dismis.nt men who were national, shillin; of ther heroes.
I' was just then, when some- thing obviously had to be done about it, that one of my uwn trade had a brain-wave,
#c trilled out The awful, and absolutely mear- reet, tidings that Lar wood bowled for the body and
Whole Land In Uproar
not for the stumja. heavens by <sec> Nabody had ever heard of body! tators, and it is line bowling until then. The terin. the anti- | however, was one of genius.
elpated when officials have to be called in to prevent the mobilization of the artillery.
An Australian will smile in a gund- natured, cousinly way when he is told by an Englishnan that he is un- couth, that his ancestons were Botany Bay
he sa rotten loser, that he lathes eritism and that all the confidence fucksters of the world were burb either
convicts,
that
or Melbourne.
hese attacks on his country, om!] the people who live in it, are brushed off with the quite kindly comment that they are bright examples of English humour.
There is never CL situri, never frown, and never the instinelive movement of muscles and ligaments that precede the closing of its
B England can lick the pants BUT let it be whispered that
Hurts
priced every Australom though an arrow had been sped, and in a twinkling: the whole fand waz in shouting uproa
When they visit Bonus Of £600
expenses is puid. England they are Kven a weekly allowance to cover out-of- pockel spendings
and in addition they are handed a bonus of £600,
The English profesdonads line up for ther £50 per match, or £250 ir they are sefreted for the five that are played in England.
THE profits from the Tests
are extremely tasty. They ave go appetising, indeed, that they would not be turned down by a mil- Honaire,
!
with.
in peal, but he insurance company So Tasty would have granted a poley on it.
The diteer of coat had to keep his
Long since 1 eyes klaard when he walked the same to the inclusion that the sheet. He was Kruger of the Bore cricket follower is the most docile War, and the German Emperor af ; and easily deat with of all the The Berater disturbance of 1914.
sport fraternity,
He will stand for hours watching balls being bowled, and if at th add to the abunities the lunchron interval he finds no ar- rules of cricket in Aus- | rangements have been made for him truita addressed a rude cable to the to purchase a sandwich he shrugs controllers of the game in England, | his shoulders and goes on starving.
A a trouble-creator this document Rude Cable might well have!
been framed by To M.C.C
T
WHEN 30,000 people are act
mitted to a cricket ground South Ameri-it is a safe assumption that there are wished to listurb number.
the peace of a Communist. by a Faseint who itator, or seats for less than one-third of that
Fry.
A00-18
A
Don Bradman
What, no Bradman? Certainly not. Oh, yes, I know all about his records, is phenomenal scores, and his nurtured showmanship. 1 gazed on him with frequency, on good days and bad, and almost variably hu reminded me of a nearly perfect plege of machinery.
Nothing Against Him money, hero-wor-
CRIME
WEMBLEY SWIMMING SURPRISES
London, Aug. 20. Denmark scored. a smashing stie- cess in the first event of the Arst sersion of the two-days match be- tween England and Denmark in the | Empire Pool. Wembley, Jast night, when Ragnhild Hveger, holder of 14 world records, won the 100 metres free style.
The Dane met the English sprint champlon, Joyce Hurrowby (Luices- ter). From the start Miss Harrow- by led by a foot nt 40 metres, then the all-conquering Dane went on to (win by four yards in 1 min. € sec.. | Miss Harrowby's time being 1 min.
L:,
There was a sensation when Poul Peterren defeated Norman Waln-
400
At the close of every tour there is Larwood's life may not have been Profits Are
usually arutma
£100,000 to play wood, Wilfred Rhodes, and Charles Wright by six yards in the
metres free style in 5 min. 145 sec. Wainwright's time WA
min. 10sec.
There was an unfortunate Incident the women's springboard contest When the champions of Denmark and England. Asta Aggerholt and Miss Belty Slade met halfway rough the contest. Miss Aggerholt hit her head in a forward somersault Land had to retire from the compell- RICKET has been kind totion.
Bradman. It has provided, The verdict was given to Miss him with opportunities that would Slade with 110 points. not have come his way if he had| Jolm Davies got clean away from bem less expert with a shaped Jump Finn Jensen in the 200 metres breast
of wood.
stroke, with the Englishman using a It has given well-nigh perfect butterfly stroke. him
comfort,
CLEVER RACE There
Ragnhild Hveger swam a clever ship, chances toj race in the grumbles, of
100 metres women's see the world, and the companion-back-stroke when course, but they
she beat Vivian ship of those who dwell in the Bassett-Lowke by 2 yards in 1 min. purple.
17 sec. The English girl's time I have nothing against him. Some- was 1 min. 10sec. times my hint is of so loftily in his Hveger looked across at her rivals honour that I fear it will remain in until the last 30 metres, when she the stratosphere for keeps.
drew
away for a gallant win. He is a wonderful cricketer, and They knew all about the shocking
England scored a brilliant win in only discomforts that would make them merely shrug at those who scream the 4 x 100 metres men's relay race.
ache in every bone before the day
that he is the greatest
of any when Fred Dove, who finished the was over, but they were the first to
generation. I do not think so, and last leg, pulled in a 2-yards lead by would put him behind-for example Denmark and then went on to finish --Jack Hobbs.
4 yards in front of Denmark's last What I simply cannot do is respect man. Bradman as un amateur,
Water Polo-England 5, Denmark It is per-2. hups a small point, but no man is
High Platform Diving (Men).-1. an amateur who makes thousands a.
Denmark, 111.30 pts.; 2, England, year out of his reputation for his
100.3 pts. skill with a bat, bail, or
Shocking
L
never
Krow
arc
to
off Australia at cricket, or that a It shook England and Australia ta slumpy showinan named Donald such un extent that the consequent Discomforts Bradman is not the most marvellous dangerous feelings aroused had to be Where It
maker ol runs referred to British Cabinet Minister much more than a polite whimper. the carth
has for balm in be
applied.
In the 1938 season I watched the and the Americans who read this may thousands who fought for admission decks
are im think I am exaggerating. They are mediately cleared.
to the ground: In London and in the hereby invited to share the horrors provinces. Invoking the name of Bradman to of the next Test series. What do any Australion in any other manner they know of cricket who save utter adulation is the same as Harlem cricket know? inviting a swift clip on the chin.
You can tell an Australian that his Wool is terrible, that his Sydney bridge is a pimple when contrasted with the two that cross the waters at San Francisco, or even that his Cockney accent is unendurable, and he will give you the old grin and call up more drinks.
+
UT indicate that in your
BU
I
•
WOULD serap the fixtures between England and Aus- tralia, if i had my way.
The Tests in which South Africa and the West Indies are concerned Scrap These
could be re- tained, for they Tests
do no harm, but all the England
opinion Bradman is not a v. Australia ones are a blight and a patch on Jack Hobbs or Walter Ham-beastly nuisance.
off.
show surprise when some outspoken visitor from another country wanted to know why the blankety enclosures were not burned down.
money taken et entrances, cricket, of As a sport that depends on the the county kind, is dying fast.
ΑΝ
•
ND yet I um incurably fond of cricket. It is such
a sweet game that I deeply regret it has to be bothered with such base
mond, and he will knock your block They disrupt relations with more considerations as hard cash.
rupidity than ony pilitical troversy,
I speak with knowledge on this Bradman's topic. Austro-
Shrine
llars yearned to knock my block off for years. Always because I did not bow down and worship at the shrine of Bradman.
con- Tests- These England-Australia matches A Crime are so carefully commercialised that
In the begin- ning cricket was meant to be played on mea-
glove.
olher
IF the result of a match was the only thing that mat- tered, and if winning was infinitely,
than more important
nny conceivable aspect, Bradman would
top_my_list. Don Not
The marvel A Hobbs
that, he is ever howled,
caught.
Wedding After Court Martial
Thomas Wilson, 22, of Villelt Road, Sunderland, who was court- martalled
at Beverley Borracks (Yorks) on a charge of deserting
the packing of totally inadequate dows, or on similar stretches that grounds is these days almost the sole were not sheltered by tall walls and consideration.
or stumped. If the state of a game from the East Yorkshire Regiment, The highest possible prices of
pay-boxes.
demands stone-walling he will dig was recently allowed by the Army authorities to travel-under escort- admission are charged, and in return has it been played in
Never in the history of mankind
in his heels; if. his mood so dictates to Silksworth (Durham) for his wed- If only a percentage of the threats for their money onlookers are forced rain, but that can be excused.
be will smack bowlers all over the a shower of
district. aimed at me by Aussies when in
ding. 10 endure discomforts that would
He returned to Beverley Imme- their view I had shown my abysmal start riots if they were
From its inception it has asked for batsman-but he could never play in to be postponed owing to Wil- caused by the peace that passes, understanding,
He is the perfect manufactured diately after the ceremony, which ignorance
Bradman and en municipalities, or employers. cricket in general had taken effect
I Bght breezes that fan the check,
on a wet and sticky wickel us Hobbs son's arrest. I would have been blown to pieces
for sunshine that acts as a soporific,
was went to play when England or His bride was 18-year-old Sarah and for leisured pauses while the Surrey were in a hole,
Bradford, of George Street, Sunder- cakes and the ten can be passed
land.
Mr. John Bradford, her father,
the effect worried by daughter's health of the postpone- ment, wrote to Wilson's commanding offeer.
•
when I was still more or less in my THE
PHE commonest spectacle at
youth.
Spat At
•
around,
Cricket must have been entirely beautiful befort the
Huy who In- vented Test matches between Eng- mildly land and Australia was born.
to
in
any cricket ground on big days is that of long queues of men SOME years ago England scut and women outside lavatorics.
The nausea aroused team to Australio that
by these had as its captain an austere and Behind
secnes is sume- fiint-hearted man
times named Jardine, The Times
alluded and a fast bowler named Larwood,
It is a pity that, when young, he Jardine
Jardine should
newspapers, but was not placed in a bucket of water have suited Aus no effort is made by the people res- and the lid dropped on his shameful trallens down to ponsible to remedy u disgusting state head,
of affairs.
IK a monument is ever erected to the ground, He
The race-tracks of Britain are so him and his kind it should show was of their own breed, If a legiti-years behind the times, but the them in abject humiliation, with mate advantage could be token he cricket grounds ought nil to be torn their leads in their wet hands, weep- took it. In his lexicon there was no such word as defeat,
down because they are 100 years too ng bitterly for the ghastly crime. Jardine
ancient,
they committed. WZUB dour, determined, thick-skinned, and eminently fair-
The most sedate and in some re- but he affected
Umes is disßgured and rendered of potassium to all
hideous by the way it is run.
that was cyan cop of many colourg/ 81 ds the most beautiful of all pas-
whose gaze It affronted.
That settled Jardine. The fact that he was striving to lead his coun try to victory
was
dismissed as
WAS
NOBBERY still surrounds and supports it as in the
*
WATCH cricket purely for the entertainment it af fords. Not since I myself swung a bat for the old regiment on a con- crete wicket in the Bermudus have I Haven't I cared two hoots who won or who Cared
last.
.
I ask only to
foolish exhibition of snobbery. He days when grandpa was a 'child, was spat at on the streets when he The old school tie is its emblem wasn't booed or
on or otherwise. insulted.
and its shield, and tradition is the be kept interested. This being so, I ARWOOD
poor flag which am at liberty to choose the men I Waves over Its would enguge if I wished to spend head,
a pleasant day. Amateur crle- Ability as a batsman, or ket, by which is meant the cricket bowler, would attract me less than played by the only real amateurs in the known entertainment virtues of
the men who pay their own rall my selected. fares to get to their pitches is a joy, but big-business cricket is in the
Q former Pro's conl-hewer from the Not-Kept Apart tingham distrilet. He was the fastest fast bowler England had ever bred.
He could send down the hurtling Larwood Was ball
at ninety miles an hour. Too Fast
No batsman loved
Larwood, and the suspicion quickly grew that the idol Bradman was none too fond of him.
MY eleven would be as
same class as a Stock Exchange deal, MY
is
or the buying and selling of a pro- remembered that I include only follows and it must be perty.
those men I saw in their prime, and Until recently its supposed amateurs whose splendour as entertainers His quickies were too quick; and and its declared professionals were This Is My engraved on my Larwood was also reputed to be able kept apart.
heart John B Hobbs, K., B. Ranjitainh}],
to pitch Avo deliveries out of six on a
postage stamp.
In under a month he was as!
popular. throughout Australia સવ
Eleven
USTRALIAN cricketers still Woolley, PatayHendren, Victor
Shoes Of Spun Glass Now
LONDON.
on
his
The world will have caught up Mr. Bradford was asked to give with the Cinderella légend of the an undertaking that he would pay glass shoe by this autumn, An 30s, the cost of sending Wilson and American shoe magnate now in his escort to Silksworth. London has brought out several kinds "I will gladly do it so that my of women's slioes made from spun-daughter can recover her happiness," glass material.
ho said.
call themselves amateurs. Trumper, Herbert Sutatine, Bert Old-5327 yellow fever He disgraced the game Heaven only knows why. Every field, Waltor Hammond, Harold Lar
which
Celuisbla's (There's: Thai Woman, Again Allouglas, and Virginia Bruce af the King's Theatre" to-day.
Σ
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