THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1989.
A BRANDY THAT'S MORE THAN A GOOD LIQUEUR
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THE SPOTLIGHT CARS OF THE YEAR
Real Smart
I
MRS. FITZPILLSBURY
F YOU WERE to throw the Hongkong Bank into the harbour you could scarcely make a bigger splash than the one Mrs.
STUDEBAKERS FitzPillsbury made when
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SEE THEM
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she dove into Peak Society Circles some ten years ago,
I have nothing but admiration for Mrs. FitzPillsbury. Of tho buxom type, her disposition was as generous as her figure, and she made many friends in Hong- kong.
She had Que little peculiarity, though,-1 very quaint way of ex- Pressing herself at times. For in- stance, "Lor'-luv-a-duct!" was favourite exclamation of hers.
Of her husband-Archibald—I pre- fer to say nothing.
I will merely asit you to recall, in connection with his transfer to west Atrlen two years ago, the Just line of that famous little rhyme about the Plekwick, the Owl and the Waverley Pen.
Hongkong Hotel Prys through the loss of
Garage
Phone 27778-9
Stubbs Rd.
I became acquainted with the
the lady's pearl necklace.
Singularly enough, the incident was never recorded in the Itongkang papers, so allow me to give you the
details.
☆
༣༣
"Lor'-luv-a-duck!" Was Her Favourite Expression
by-
GEOFFREY SUCKLING
which to carry out my experiments.
By the time the soda water was ex- had finished half the hausled whisky but could find no trace of uny deleterious matter having been added. On the contrary, it was ex- ceedingly good whilsity, and I had to admit that, whatever other fallings Archibald was no he might have,
mean judge of the staple product of Scotland.
A further test, with plain water, might perhaps be advisable, and I' was just going to draw some when Waffles came in.
"Hullo, Waffics old boy!" I enld, "en you tell me which is the cold water tap? There seems to be rather a lot of them about to-day, al- ways thought.we had only one. By the way, have you discovered whose
Of course Waffles would be there "You look see," I told him, "any
but why was he bending over Mrs. tower beds have got foolprints."
Then, remembering that FitzPilis- FitzPillsbury with a tape measure in inger-print it 182" bury was a keen horticulturist, I add his hand, and why had she changed dress at eleven o'clock
ed: "Don't forget enkianthus splendi- Into morning?
cut
ferous-alice same Chinese call muk in the
nice flower: Jamakee very
Before I hnd time to Bure the whole thing out, the infuriated hus- and band, making a bee dive for Walles, had clutched the poor fish by the nape of hls neck and catapulted him hott way across the room.
"Can look very nice my garden."
do," said Al Lum sieuthily departed.
fer.
"Now, pertmaps," he spluttered, "you will be good enough to explain why you were manhandling my wifel"
मै
"Yes," said Waffles, looking at me rather queerly 1 thought.
"Then whose in it?" I Impatiently asked.
"Yours," he replied.
*
★
For five days the Mystery of the Pearl Necklace lay unsolved. I had been "waiting for a breuk" as our American friends would say.
And then it came-and vla Wafflen of all people!
Wales and I approached the house. On the door-step was a stranger. He might be the thief. We decided to contact him. "Excuse me, Sir." I said, lifting my weather bowler.
the ideal "Isn't for a a little flutter? What about a few Antamosa to stort with? Or can It was obvious that, if any light He burst into the office with: "1 fet you have some Peak Trams very were to be thrown on the situation, gay, Chieff What do you think! I've cheap. They're always moving, you Wales was the only one to do it, for found out that the pearls were false!" know-going up and down every my lady was lying on the bed in I jumped up. "Explain at once!" day--so you're sure to make a hand the last throes of hysteria.
I said. ✡
some profit. Of course, If you pre-
But it took Ave minutes before "Last night at the hotel," he began, Ou December 24, 1931. I was sit-wait
Waffles,
who was completely winded, "I was shaking the wicked hool, when #minute, boss!” ling in my office and pondering over
cut in
Was able blurt: "I was d-d-doing
Flossle, of met Footles. You've COUTHS" a cutting of enklanthus splendiferous man a nice line in Cottons."
"Shut up, you fool!" I hissed in And then, as he grew more com for my garden, and (b) how to get
posed:
"I haven't had the pleasure. But The whole thing's a ghastly his car. "You're it ERIKSEN—At the Precious Bloodrid of my now assistant, who was
sharebroker-
mistake. You see, I had an idea the go on!" necklace might have come undone Hospital on February 25th, 1939, turning out to be a numskull of the not a haberdasher."
"Well, she's a bit of a gay spark. Haldor Ingmar Eriksen, ut 287 first water.
Then the stranger spoke, and he and slipped down Mrs. FitzPillsbury's and when I mentioned about Mrs. Prince Edward Road and for-
extraordinary remark. made a most
neck, so asked her to kindly put on FitzP. losing her pearls, what do you Who let you out?" he asked.
the dress merly of the China Maritime
she was wearing at the think she said?" I drew myself up.
ball. was taking a few mensure- Customs, aged 48 years. Funeral
"I'm afraid I don't quite follow will pass the Monument at 5.15
ments when you fellows barged in." you," I replied, "but, in ease you are p.m. to-day.
"I say. Sir," he went on, turning to trying to be flippant, let me into Archibald, I think you owe me an wordParts! Pshawl Pearls in
DEATH
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
Wyndham St., Hongkong 'Phone 26615 February 27, 1939
Holy Land Deadlock
two problems-fa) how to get hold of Waffles. "Let me show the gentle- nothing-only t-t-testing a theory" who should I run into but Flossie
The telephone bell rang; I picked
up the receiver.
"Yes, I am Mr. Suckling, the pri vate delective," I said, "and you?"
It's Mrs. FitzPillsbury speaking,
of 964, the Peak."
"I suppose you want your husband shinelowed, madam?"
"Lor'-luv-a-duck! No! I've lost me
Jools."
"I don't know," I replied. "I give "it up."
"She said-and these were her very you that we are delcclives, and that anything you say will be taken down, apology-treating me like a blooming deed! Them pearls never saw the inside of an oyster shell, I'll warrant! altered, and used in evidence against shuttlecock!"
"Me owe you an apology!" jasped Before she got hitched to Archibald. you."
The rude fellow laughed.
Archibald, forgetting his grammar in her ladyship was in the chorus of "I'm Mr. Archibald FitzPillsbury," the Intensity of his fury. "Here, the "Belle of New York" with me. At the word "jools" I recalled he said, "End I guess you've come take this lounge lizard away," he ap- and the was always a' losing of her
pearls slightly.
they about the necklace. Better go inside pealed to me, "before I frend
on "pearls." Woolworth "And you want me to find them for and see my wife."
ilm,"
were. Losing foolry is like second you?
Now why couldn't he have told its Mrs. FitzPillsbury raised herself nature to her, und, from what you
on her elbow. that before?
tells me, it seems she's still got the "Lor-luv-a-duck!" she screamed ablt.' and collapsed once more.
Wales and I faded away.
"Ain't you clever! Of course I do. My husbin' Isn't half cut up about It, and he's carrying on Hke-anyfirsk."
"Please describe the jewels, madam, and where did you lose them?"
مزيد
शुक Mrs. FitzPillsbury was delighted to
see us,
ין
"It's me ten thousand dollar pearl No, she had not missed the neck- necklace what's gone. I was wearin' lace till she went to bed.... Yes, the
enquire from "Ah Lum," I murmured,
Now what do you think of that?" had to admit that, to say the least, his news was startling.
"But if it's true," I said, "then we're in the roup-even if we do re-
its value.
The Palestine talks in London
Walling for us on the road. We cover the necklace--because I agreed appear to have reached
it at St. Andrew's Ball last night and ballroom had been thoroughly search- found Äh Lum. My dejection impasse, a conclusion that was I don't know whether it's been took ed....No, she did not suspect any vanished as I noticed he held a cute to accept as payment ten per cent, of off from me or whether I dropped it. one....Was she in the habit of lock, ting of one of the finest roots of forecast before they commenced. But as plerons care those pearls was in her bedroom door at night?- enkianthus spientliferous I have ever my short-and none too pleasant-at- "Not at all!" replied Waffles. "From At present the chances of Mr.seventy-two of them. Ow much Lor-luv-a-duck, what a question to seen.
quaintance with Mrs. FitzPillsbury, Better a ladyt Malcolm MacDonald being able do you want to get them back for ask
patting T'm certain the Isn't the type that, Mr. Archbald.
him on the back, "you, at least, have would admit to wearing Imitation to find any point of comZION
"I don't as a rule discuss my fee I thanked her, and intimated that, done your duty. Now, how about jewellery." agreement between Jews and over the telephone." I told her, but with her permission, we would take the footprints? Did
you find any?" It happens to be $5.00 an hour, or, if a hole through the house.
"Only this," smiled Ah Lum, show- Arabs on which a compromise
"You start at the top and work ing me the seat of his pants. The you prefer to pay by results, ten per
I wil settlement can be reached are cent. of the value of the necklace down, Waffes," I said, "and
fa wong here he make one big step when it's recovered.
start on the ground floor and work on my backside." extremely slim.
The cases of Jews and Arabs which the respective delegates solemnly and laboriously repeat are already known to the British Government. The hoary facts have already been unearthed and laid before the Government by half a dozen official commissions io Palestine.
As bath cases are irreconcilable both sides are manoeuvring for favoured treatment by trying to frighten the Government with the international situation in relation to the strategic import- ance of Palestine in the event of another crisis.
Int
And then he expounded his plan.
he said, is a shop where, for a modest
"In the Gloucester Arcade," outlay, you can purchase a string of "It was in the pantry that I came him, "In England, people say you
"Never mind, Ah Lum," I consoled artificial pearls as good-If not better
-than the real stuff. across an important clue-a perfectly
"I suggest we get a necklace made
up.
honourable order."
She's sure not to notice the differ "May be very honourable,” he re- ence, and then all we have to do plied, "but also very sore!"
Silence for several seconds. "Supposing It ain't worth quite $10,000," she asked, "what then?" content with an meint valuation."
" that case, markun, I should be food bottle of whisky with a finger. Eet Order of the Boot-belong very up, and hand it over to Mrs, FitzP.
Was it a snittter I heard?-surely not!
netter come up and see me."
"I pay by results," she said,
I gave a suitable reply, and hung up the receiver.
*
Now for action!
7 nubilised the staff.
2
"Wames MeTurbot!-Ah Lum!" I called.
Wames stepped forward. "Yes, boss?" he said.
I blanched us. I looked at his slop- ing forehead.
I snapped. "Don't call me boss!" "Where's Ah Lum?"
it
*
✡
print on it. Pardon me, I mean: a bottle of whirly with perfectly good finger-print on it.
I carefully laid the bottle in a des- patch case I had brought with me labelled SHARES, and was just about Arrived at the oflee, I got the staff chicken in the refrigerator, when a the battle of whisky. to turn my attention to a bolled to gather round me, and I produced
most startling thing occurred.
"Here" I told them, "la our unly The air was rent by a lady's pier- clue-but an important one neverther cing screams, mingled with hysterical less. You will observe that there laughter.
GRIN AND BEAR IT
fot
to bung in our bill. It's as simple as falling of a log!"
I considered his suggestion. Yes, it seemed workable.
"Waffles." I said, "we will adopt
your plan and act immediately. By the way, I have decided to incrence your pay this month by $25....
Waffies brightened.
which means," "I continued,
His face visibly wilted. "Id-d-dan't quite follow," he stammered.
By Lichty decided to give you an increase of
therefore than last
at distinct finger-print on the neck of What on earth was happening? the bottle. I want you, Waffles, to that, this month, you will receive The sound scem to come from one compare the print with our Finger- $25 less than last month." of the bedrooms, so I dropped the Print Reglater. It may lead us to chicken and clashed upstairs. Archi- the thiet who stole Mrs. FitzPilis- bald rushed past me and flung open bury's pearls. Meanwhile I wil a door.
the contents into a empty
jung
"To use one of your pet similes," I As we entered, Mrs. FitzPillsbury examination in the Inborntory. It is replied, "it's as easy as falling off a exclaiming, "Now, quite on the cards that I shall and log. Let me explain. now, young wus excitedly
fellow! Don't you get traces
of dope,
arend I lowered "This moraing, In view of your dis- fresh with me! I don't mind a bolile my voice--"even of poison!"
graceful exhibition of parlour tricks A crisis is expected next Ah Lum appeared. Al Lum was of beer and a bit of fun, but none of They both seemed suitably Impress up the Penk, I made up my mind to month in the Mediterranean as my gardener until I promoted him that!"
ed, and I despatched Ah Lum for half cut your salary by $50. Now, in What did it all mean?
a dozen bottles of soda water with fluenced by the fact that the me a sequel to a Franco victory in assistant sleuth. Now he calls him-
chanism in your cranium at Inst Spain and Mussolini's demands self "the Charlie Chan of Hongkong."
shows signs of ticking over, I have "Ah Lum." I commanded, "bringį. on France, and the Arab delega- two pieces mm. 4 disguise chop chop, Lion will continue to use the
3.
The net result will Then take ten cents petty cash, go
be:-exactly $25 less importance of a peaceful Pales-smoky smoky shop, and catchee this"
Imanth" tine as a lever to gain their wrote on a piece of paper TWO objectives.
FLOR DE CABBAGIO CIGARS'
back "and don't forget to bring This is the position at present; } change." The Arabs insist that Jewish "You Wames," I said, will please immigration must be stopped, try to forget for a while that you are land sales by Arabs to Jews the underpaid assistant of a famous must be prohibited, and an Arab detective and imagine yourself a re- Ab Lum will spectable sharebroker. National Government must be give you the necessary outfll-bowler set up under which the civil and hat, gent's nutty blue suit, horn- religious rights would be guaran- select a few articles of jewellery
rimmed glasses and spots. You you like, but don't overdo it. If you tuke my advice, you will not attempt to light the cigar that I shall give you. A Bttle Judiciuus chewing will be quite suflelent,”
leed.
The Jews insist that Jewish immigration must be continued and that on no account must the Jewish community. in Palestine Having issued these instructions, ! be relegated to minority status quickly changed my own dress, and. which, it is claimed, would wreck in a few minutes, quite a creditable transformation had taken place in the whole meaning and spirit of both my own and Wales appear the Jewish National Home.
ance. I agreed for once with à sui- certainly would put a finishing touch gestion from Wames-a buttonhole to the ensemble.
The position is a difficult one. Tho Jews, however, appear to hold the biggest end of the stick. Another factor has been intro- duced within recent months- Ten minutes later we were in the the attitude of the United States.
Peak Tram and I was explaining to my assistants the nature of the case we were embarked upon.
The German persecution of the Jews has made a deep
Like a hound straining at the leash, Impression on America and the War was all agog when I described what I knew of Mrs. FitzPillsbury, British Government cannot and he literally quivered with exelte- afford to alienate the growing ment when I happened to mention ro-British sympathy of the that she had once been known us the
"Bella of Ioxton." United States by according to
At the preclncis of no. 004, the the Arab demands in Palestine. Peak, I called Ah Lum oxide.
& Slatted Proton kratkesio, tas.
"You'll And it's the most cronumical car on the market-outside of the usual gas, oil and fedder straightening expenses!"
I left him to his mental calcula- tions, and sent Ah Lum for a neck- less of 72 synthetic pearls "as big a pigrons" eggs."
When it orrived I set out for the Penit-alone this time.
**
*
I rang the bell of no. 004.
"Master at home?"
"Yes."
1
entered.
Archibald came forward. He look-
ed none too pleased,
"I have much pleasure," I said, “in Informing you that I have recovered Mrs. FitzPillsbury's necklace. Per- haps you will have a look at it, and, ¡if it's in order, it will no doubt be a pleasure to you to write me out a cheque for $1,000.""
$1,000 be!" he replied. "What shady game are you up to now? How- can you have found my wife's neck-- Ince when she naver löst 11?"
"Never lost It" I faltered, "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I say. My wife found it in her jewel caso this morn- ing. She must have forgotten to put it on before she went to the ball.”
The horror of the situation slowly dawned on me.
"And, if you're not out of the house- In two minutes," sul Archibald, "I'll
telephone for the pollee,"
*
When you have time, come along" and ́aco my enkianthus 'inlendiferous.. Just now it's bi full bloopt.