6
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1989.
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MRS. FITZPILLSBURY
F YOU WERE to throw
ས
which to carry out my experiments.
time the soda water was
the Hongkong Bank “Lor'-luv-a-duck!" Was Herbausted I had Anished: half the
into the harbour you could scarcely make a bigger splash than the one Mrs. FitzPillsbury made when she dove into Peak Society Circles some ten years ago,
I have nothing but admiration for Mrs. FitzPillsbury. Of tho buxom type, her disposition was as generous as her figure, and she made many friends in Hong- kong.
She had one little peculiarity. though, a very quaint way of ex- TRY THEM pressing herself at times. For in- stance, "Lor-luv-a-duck!” Was #t favourite exclamation of hers.
GET BEHIND THE WHEEL THRILL ΤΟ AND
THE BRILLIANT STUDEBAKER
PERFORMANCE,
Of her husband-Archibald-I pre- fer to any nothing.
I will merely ask you to recall, in connection with his transfer to west Africa two years ago, the lust line of thut famous little rhyme about the Pickwick, the Owl and the Waverley Pen.
the
Favourite Expression
by
GEOFFREY SUCKLING
"You look see," I told him, "ahy Hower beds have got footprints."
to figure the Before I had time whole thing out, the Infuriated hus- and band, making a bee dive for Waffles, had clutched the poor fish by the nape of his neck and catapulted him half way across the room.
whisky but could find no trace of any deleterious matter having been added. On the contrary, it was ex- ceedingly good whisky, and I had to admit that, whatever other failings he might have, Archibald was no mean judite of the staple product of Scotland.
A further test, with plain water.. might perhaps be advisable, and I was just going to draw some when Waffles came in.
"Hullo, Walles old boy!" I said,. "can you tell me which is the cold water tap? There seems to be ruther a lot of them about to-day. I al- ways thought we had only one. By the way, have you discovered whose finger-print it 197"
"Yes," said Waffles, looking at me rather queerly I thought.
"Then whore is it? I impatiently asked.
"Yours," he repiled.
*
1
For five days the Mystery of the "Now, perhaps," he spluttered, "you Pearl Necklace lay unsolved. I had will be good enough to explain why been waiting for a break" as our you were manhandling my wife!"
Of course Wardes would be there but why, was he bending over Mrs. Then, remembering that FitzPills FitzPillsbury with a tape measure in bury was a keen horticulturist, I add his hand, and why had she changed
morning? ed: "Don't forget enklanthus splendi- into evening dress at eleven o'clock ferousalice same Chinese enll muk in the
flower; sat fa-makee very nice look very nice my garden."
said Al Lum do," "Can sleuthily departed.
Wables and I approached the house, On the door-step was a stranger, He might be the thief. We decided to contact him.
American friends would say. "Excuse me, Sir." 1 said, lifting my weather this ideal bowler. "Isn't
And then it came-and vin Waffles of all people! for a little flutter? What about a few Antamoks to start with? Or I can It was obvious that, if any light
He burst into the offee with: let you have some Peak Trams very were to be thrown on the situation, say, Chief What do you think! I've cheap. They're always moving, you Wales was the only one to do it, for found out that the pearls were false!" know-going
up und down every my lady was lying on the bed in I jumperi up. "Explain at once!" day so you're sure to make a hand-
last throes of hysteria. some profit. Of course, if you pre-
But it took five minutes before "Last night at the hotel," he began, On December 24, 1931, I was sit f
cut in Waffles, who was completely winded, "I was shaking the wicked hoof, when it minute, boss!"
Flossie, of ting in my office and pondering over
nothing-only t-t-testing a theory." Footles. You've met two problems (a) how to get hold of Wanles. "Let me show the gentle- Was able to blurt: "I was d-d-doing who should i run into but Flossie a cuting of enkianthus spleniferous man a nice line in Cottons," for my garden, and (b) how to get rid of my new assistant, who was turning out to be a numskull of the Arst water.
Hongkong Hotel FitzPlisburys through the loss of
Garage
Phone 27778-9
The
Stubbs Rd.
Hongkong Telegraph.
1 became acquainted with
the lady's pearl necklace.
Singurty, enough, the incident was never recorded in the Hongkong papers, so allow me to give you the
detuits.
✰
☆
The telephone bell rang; I picked
Wyndham St., Hongkong up the receiver.
'Phone 26615 February 27, 1939
Holy Land Deadlock
The Palestine talks in London an to have reached appear impasse, a conclusion that was forecast before they commenced. At present the chances of Mr. Malcolm MacDonald being able to find any point of common agreement between Jews and Arabs on which a compromisę settlement can be reached are
S. MOUTRIE & CO., LTD. extremely silm.
York Building
NANGALI2015
|
made
..
the
*
I unid.
521
the
And then, as he grew more corn- course?" "Shut up, you fool!" 1 hissed in
"I haven't had the pleasure. But "You're hls eur.
shurebroker posed: "The whole thing's a ghastly
mistake. You see, I had an the go on!"
"Well, she's a bit of a gay spark. not a haberdasher."
Then the stranger spoke, and he necklace might have come undone
and slipped down Mrs. FitzPilisbury's and when I mentioned about Men. ade a most extraordinary remark.
neck, so I nsited her to kindly put on FitzP, losing her pearls, what do you "Who let you out?" he asked.
the dress she was wearing at the think she said?" I drew myself up. "Yes, I am Mr. Suckling, the pri-
"I don't know," I replied. "I give quite follow ball, I was taking a few mensure "I'm afraid I don't
ments when you fellows barged in." it up." vate detective," 1 said, "and you?" you," I replied, "but, in case you are
"I say, Sir." he went on, turning to me inform
"She said and these were her very "It's Mrs FitzPillsbury speaking, trying to be flippant,
you that we are detectives, and that Archibald, "I think you owe me an words Pearls!, Pshaw! Pearls in- of 964, the Pek."
anything you say will be taken down, apology--treating me like a blooming deed! Them Pearls never saw
inside of an oyster shell, I'll
warrant! altered, and used in evidence against
"Me owe por an apology!" gasped Before she got hitched to Archibald, you."
The rude fellow laughed.
Archibald, forgetting his grammar in her ladyship was in the chorus of "I'm Mr. Archibald FitzPillsbury," the intensity of his fury. "Here, the "Belle of New York" with me. At the word *jools" 1 reculled he said, "and I guess you've come take this lounge lizard away," he ap- and she was always a' fosing of her
I tread
pearls they slightly.
Beller go inside pealed to me, "before
on "pearls. Woolworth about the necklace. “And you want me to find them for and see my wife."
were.. Losing Joolry is like second
you
Now why couldn't he juve told us Mrs. FitzPillsbury raised herself nature to her, and, from what you
on her elbow. that before?
"Lor'-luv-a-duck!" she screamed and collapsed once more,
Waffles and I faded away.
"I suppose you want your husband shadowed, madam?"
"Lor'-luv-a-duck! No! I've lost me
Jools."
"Ain't you clever! Of course i do, My husbin' isn't half cut up about it. and he's carrying on like anyfink."
gene.
21 J
Mrs. FitzPillsbury was delighted to
ser us.
shuttlecock?"
him."
Waiting for
*
us un the road,
we
tells me, it seems she's still got the abit.
Now what do you think of that?" I had to admit that, to say the least, bls news was startling.
its
"Please describe the jewels, modum, and where did you lose them?"
"But it's true," I said, "then "It's me ten thousand dollar peari
No, she had not missed the neck-
we're in the soup-even if we do re- necklace wint's
i was wearin' luce till she went to bed....Yes, the
cover the necklace--because I agreed it at St. Andrew's Dall last night and ballroom had been thoroughly search found Ah um. My dejection I don't know whether it's been took ed....No, she did not suspect any vanished as I noticed he held a cul- ces payment ten per cent. of off from me or whether I dropped it. one.... Was she in the habit of lock ting of one of the finest roots of
"Not at all!" replied Waffles. "From Bigus pigeons ens those pearls was ing her bedroom door at night? enkianthus splendiferous I have ever
my short-and none too pleasant-ac- Ow much Lor'-luv-a-duck, what a question to seen. The eases of Jews and Arabs-seventy-two of them.
quaintance with Mrs. FitzPilisbury. from them back for ask a lady! Better do you want to get
enquire
"Ah Laim," I murmured, patting Chater Road.
the type that which the respective delegates | me?"
Mr. Archibald.
him on the back, "you, at least, have I'm certain she isn't
would admit to wearing Imitation I thanked her, and intimated that, done your duty. Now, how about 4891462323_14891601902 | 56964187solemnly and laboriously repeat "I don't as a rule discuss my fee.
over the telephone." I told her, but with her permission, we would take the footprints? Did you find any? Jewellery."
And then he expounded his plan. are already known to the British it happens to be $5.00 an hour, or, if a look through the house.
"Only this," smiled Ah Lum, show- "You start at the top and work ing me the seat of his pants. "The
"In the Gloucester Arcade," he SKATEPARKENEN DEM Zaw | Government. The hoary facts you prefer to pay by results, ten per
of the necklace down, Waffles," I said, and I will fa wong here he make one big step said, "is n shop where, for a modest have already been unearthed and cent. of the value
outlay, you can purchase a string of when it's recovered." laid before the Government by
Silence for several seconds. half a dozen official commissions to Palestine.
It's A "GATEWAY" Paper
MEETING
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It is thin but it is not a cheap, soft, tissue paper: it takes ink, perfectly.
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Available in pads containing eighty sheets letter size at one dollar, or cut to any size for invoices or forms of any description.
Envelopes in three sizes or made to special requirements.
Quotations for special printing upon application to—
THE SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST, LTD. Wyndham Strest,
-
Tel. 26615.
As bath cases are irreconcilable both sides are manoeuvring for favoured treatment by trying to frighten the Government with the international situation in relation to the strategic import- ance of Palestine in the event of another crisis.
not!
"I'
pay by results," "Better come up and seực me."
up the receiver,
start on the ground floor and work on my backside."
than the real stuff.
in bung in, our bill. It's as simple ap falling off a log!"
I considered his suggestion. Yes, it seemed workable.
"Waffles," I said, "we will adopt
I gave a suitable reply, and hunk chicken in the refrigerator, when the bottle told them, "is our only your plan and net immediately. By
Now for action!
I mobilised the staff. "Waffles McTurbol!-Ah Lum!" i called.
Waffles stepped forward.
"Yes, boss?" he said.
a
"Here."
he
It was in the pantry that I came him. "In England, people say you
"Never mind, Aa Lum," I consoled artificial pearls as good-If not better "Supposing it ain't worth quite across an important clue-a perfectly
"I suggest we get a necklace made $10,000," she asked. "what then?"
good bottle of whisky with anger- tet Order of the Boot-belong very up, and hand it over to Mrs. FitzP.
honourable order." -“In that ease, madamn, I should be print on it Pardon me, I mean: a
She's sure not to notice, the differ "May be very honourable," he re ence, and then all we have to do is Lotte of whisky with A perfectly content with an official valuation."
Was it a antiger I heard?-surely good finger-print on bottle in a des
plied, "but also very sore!” 1 carefully Jald
* * she said. patch case I had brought with me
labelled SHARES, und was just about Arrived at the office, I got the staff to turn my attention to u boiled to gather round me, and I produced
of whisky. most starting thing occurred.
The air was rent by a lady's pier- clue--but an important one neverthe- the way, I have decided to increase cing screams, mingled with hystericni less. You will observe that there is your pay this month by $25...."
Waffles brightened. laughter.
distinct finger-print on the neck of
.which means," I continued, What on earth was happening? the bottle. I want you, Waffles, to that, this month, you will receive The sound seem to come from one compare the print with our Finger- $25 less than last month.” of the bedrooms, so I dropped the Print Register. It may lead us to Is face visibly wilted. chicken and dashed upstairs. Archl- the thief who stole Mrs. FitzPills- "I d-d-don't quite follow,"
ald rushed past me and flung open bury's pearls. Meanwhile I will
vili stammered. a door.
crapty the contents inte 2L jug for As we entered, Mra, FitzPillsbury examination in the laboratory. It is was excitedly exclaiming. "Now, quite on the cards that now, young fellow! Don't you get traces of dope, orand I lowered fresh with me! I don't mind a batite my volce--"èven of
polsun! Aft Lum appeared. Ah Lum was of beer and a bit of fun, but none of They both seemed suitably impress
ed, and I despatched Ah Lum for half my gardener until I promoted him that!"
What did it all mean? assistant sleuth. Now he calls him- self the Charlie Chan of Ilongkong." "Al Lum," I commanded, "bring This is the position at present: two pieces no. 4 disgulse chop chop, The Arabs insist that Jewish Then take ten cents petty cash, so immigration must be stopped, smoky smoky shop, and catchee this" -I wrote on a piece of paper TWO land sales by Arabs to Jews FLOR DE CABBAGIO CIGARS
back must be prohibited, and an Arab National Government must be set up under which the civil and religious rights would be guaran-
A erisis is expected next month in the Mediterranean as a sequel to a Franco victory in Spain and Mussolini's demands on France, and the Arab delega- tion will continue to use the importance of a peaceful Pales- tine as a lever to gain their objectives.
Leed.
The Jews insist that Jewish immigration must be continued und that on no account must the Jewish community in Palestine be relegated to minority status which, it is claimed, would wreck the whole meaning and spirit of the Jewish National Home.
I blanched as I looked at his sloj- ing forehead.
"Don't call me boss!" I snapped. "Where's Ah Lum?"
"and don't forget to bring change."
"You Waffles," I said, "will please try to forget for a while that you are the underpaid resistant of a famous detective and imagine yourself a re- spectable sharebroker. Ah Lum will give you the necessary outfit-bowler hat, gent's matty blue suit, horn- rimmed glassey and spala. You may select a few articles of jewellery it you like, but overdo it. If you take my advice, you will not attempt to light the cigar that I shall give you. A little judicious chewing will be quite suficient."
Having issued these instructiona, ! quickly changed my own dress, and, in a few minutes, quite a creditable transformation had falten place in The position is a difficult one. both my own and Waffles appear The Jews, however, appear to ance, greed for once with a sug- Restion from Waffles-a buttonhole hold the biggest end of the stick. certainly would put a finishing touch Another factor has been intro-to the ensemble.
duced within recent months--
the attitude of the United States.
Ten minutes later we were in the
The German persecution of Penk Tram and I was explaining to my assistants the nature of the case the Jews has made a deep we were embarked upon. impression on America and the Like a heund straining at the leash, Walles was all agog when I described British Government cannot what I know of Mrs. FitzPillsbury, afford to alienate the growing and he literally quivered with excite
ment when I happened to mention pro-British sympathy of the that she had once been known as the United Statea by according to "Beile of laxton."
At the precincts of no. 084, the the Arab demanda in Palentine. Peak, I called Ab Lum nride,
t
что
ure one of your pet almiles,”-I replied, "it's as easy as falling off a Jog. Let me explain,
"This morning, in view of your dis- graceful exhibition of parlour tricks up the Peak, I made up my mind to cut your salary by $50. Now, in-
a dozen bottles of soda water with Bluenced by the fact that the me
GRIN AND BEAR IT
chanism in
Inst your cranium at shows signs of ticking over, I have
By Lichty decided to give you an increase of
#Spr: 1320 by "United Postmen Maudiente, ihr,
"You'll And it's the most economical car on the market-outalde of the usual one, oll and fender straightening expentes!"
$25. The net result will therefore be-exactly $20 less thon Jast
[imonth.'
I left him to his mental calcula; tions, and sent Ah Lum for a neck- less of 72 synthetic pearls "as big as pigrons cgg."
When It arrived I set out for the Peak-alone this time.
* *
*
I rang the bell of no. 984.
"Master at home?"
"Yes."
I entered.
Archibald came forward. He look- ed none too pleased.
"I have much pleasure," I sald, "in informing you that I have recovered Mm. FitzPillsbury's necklace. Per- haps you will have a look at it, und, if it's in order, it will no doubt be a to you to write me out a pleasure to cheque for
"$1.0006 $1,000"
he replied. "What ahady game are you up to now? How can you have found my wife'a neek- lace when she never lost 117"
"Never lost it!" I foltered. "What do you mean?”
"Exactly what I say. My wife- found it in'her jewel case this morn- fing. She must have forgotten to put jit on before she went to the ball."
The horror of the situation slowly dawned on me.
"And, if you're not out of the house in two minutes," said Archibald, "I'l telephone for the police."
When you have time, come along and see my enkianthus splendiferous. Just now it's in full bloom.”