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For his frat wish the Scotsman those "as much whusky as would
1 Loch Lomond," This was granted. The second wish, cannily enough, was "enough time to drink it in." This too was granted,
But when it came to his third wish
Scotsman was stumped. the The maximum of desirability ha been attained. He could not think Stubbs Rd of anything more.
Hongkong Telegraph.
Tuesday, July 26, 1938.
SOMETHING WILL
But the Fairy Godmother insisted. "You must think of a third wish," she sald, "or you can't have the other two!" The Scotsman thought for a long time, and finally sald: "I wad fike a wee drap male whusky!"
WHAT, reader, would
bc
Et
3
man
a
wishes
-by- JAMES
who isn't so flattering in what he thinks about
AGATE
feet.
and
As in big things, so In little.. I do not think there is any excuse for any mistake resulting from nat Having one's mind on onc's job. Therefore, if I were a young man or
woman, young would be:
my
three
wishes
(1) The ability to concentrate. (2) The will to avold careless-
THE same applies with equal ness.
force to men. The oller
Was
When my editor demands n column,
day I desired a mat for my frant (3) To be granted the normal door The well provided for this good luck that blessedly accompanies purpose measured three feet by two all good work.
ISTEN, you young people! A firm whose business it is
LIS lo
You think I'm talking supply door-mats sent somebody to through my hat. Let me tell you measure the well. The mat
what an old workman like myself, n made. Il came, and it was too wide
Journalist of over thirty years' sland- to go into the well
ing, still continues to do. At the same time I ordered a fender to go round some raised tiles. do I send something that looks like a The tiles were measured, and the column? fender arrived. It was too short. Curtains were the next item.
No! I sit down and count the When those ordered for my back-content simply to lop off super- words, one after the other. Nor am room arrived, they turned out to be fluous words and stick in at hap- three feet too long. Purple with hazard any that are missing. If it's ruining, so much the more fury. I rushed to the telephone, de-
I remake the article till the mean gratifying.
manded the chairman of the com- pany, wol was told that he ating calls for a column exactly, and I that length exactly expresses my tho Monte Carlo, So) had to put up
meaning. My mats who and my fenders and curtains are the All my wells, right length. That is why-and said that pruy heaven I be not boasting!-
young people
in general
NOW suppose you are N
average young man.
You with the managing director,
Was
your Three Wishes? depends, 1 suppose, very much upon begin by arranging to become the turned out to be a Soothing Voice.
Let us suppose that colour of ripe mahogany. With this The Voice apologised, you are the average young woman, object you lle about on gritty, pebbly mat, fender, and curtains would be have been moderately successful. This presents me with no difficulty benches for hours on end thinking of put right, and did I never expect
who you are.
t mention
from
my
Hadn't
sensc
of
ND now that I am no long-
Aer a young man, what are
my three wishes?
The Arst is to live as long as Methuselah.
ing supply of human follies to laugh The second is to have an unend-
at.
Like the Scotsman, I cannot con- celve a third wish, formulate one it would be to crave a But if I must
few more years. follies.
Or
# few more·
WALKING IN NORWAY
For that sight alone our tour would have been justified.
these peaks, and for those who wishe
We spent the next ten days among
NORWAY is a country which you{ting sun. N
must visit some day, and with the Your third wish is that the two European situation as it is, why not of you may marry and beget some now? Why not go for a walking Infant Phenomenon with curls and holiday? That is the best way to see a roguish smalle who, at the age of the country and meet the people, six, will fly from Antananarivo in
it there were ample opportunities of A "walking" holiday in Norway Madagascar to Nijni - Navgarod in does not consist only of walking: it climbing. The mountains are of the Russia in less than Daddy did it entails sailing and motoring too. You wildest, bare, jagged, knife-edges crooning the while mure sweetly than can choose, with the assistance of the cutting the sky. The nights we spent in the "huts," which are really her Mummy did at any age.
which will sult you,
our small hotels, with walkers and energetic and fond of climbing or only climbers of many nationalities. this time I have drawn a moderate walker. A tour in the On a tour of this kind you would
HAVE
no doubt
that by
Norwegian State ?
殺
tour
you are
anybody to make mistakes? absolutely nothing. whatever.
You spend the rest of your waking my front-room curtains been the You want to be exquisitely beauti- BE DONE
ful, for which purpose you are pre- hours with nothing visible save the right length? Only
you is buried in a stinking plece of Will a doctor who has mistaken His Excellency the Governor pared to go through a series of dis out your trousers; the rest of humour saved me from apoplexy,
ciplinary exercises
of Ironmongery called un internal com- scarlet fever for measles plead that intimated to the Telegraph yes-which a boxer training for the heavy, bustion engine.
he successfully diagnosed Mr. Jones's Next you rush, for no disenverable broken leg and the hell on the back terday that a programme had weight championship of the world
would pass out. Some tle time reason whatever, but in record time, of Mr. Smith's neck? been drawn up for the relief of
Will a signalman who has pulled Nijui-Novgorod in Russia tó ago I read in some beauty column Antananarivo in Madagascar. This the wrong lever ask to be excused a position long recognised as the following:-
feat sutisfactorily accomplished, you on the ground that all the other "Spread a cont of feeding cream have achieved your first wish, which levers he pulled that day were right? dangerous and caused by the
over the skin. Massage with firm is to be the Most Sunburnt of Long- Leo Reisman's Orch. enormous increase in Hongkong's
strokes upwards from the throat, Distance Filers. indigent population. His Excel-
Your record wish is to get home using a fan-like movement over the face. Flick rather than stroke in time for that premiere and to pe Leo Reisman's Orch. lency actually disclosed nothing
the skin, with a quick whippy' caught by the cameras embracing, in crash helmet and dungarees, that film more than the fact that Govern- rhythm. Then ile down with the star whose premlere it is.
feet raised on the pillows, a hard Fatts Waller's Orchment had this important matter
cushion in the small of the back and the head slightly hanging over in hand and the scheme would
be made known on Wednesday,
the side of the bed. Stay complete ly relaxed,” Government has not moved with Having spent the morning in this any startling rapidity in
this idiotic fashion, and lunched off a malter, but, like the gods', per pimply meal of pineapple, cream and meringues, you then proceed to pour haps its mills grind small. In yourself into something in which you that case the Colony can expect can neither sit nor walk, though, by
some principle of feminine engineer- fairly successful picture of myself | Jotunheim, the mountainous district see every type of Norwegian scenery; something worth-while;
some-ing unknown to science, you are not as an embittered fogey and a cur- of Norway, will suit the first type, and fjords with terrifying. precipitous thing that will perhaps go some į prevented from going through the mudgeon out of sympathy with my one farther south will suit the second. walls, waterfalls, jagged mountain.
own times.
For the Jotunheim tour nailed silhouettes, glaciers turn-to a hundred motions of dancing, ke a snake And, of course, I must meet your boots are required as the tracks when colours in the sunlight, and in the way towards removing from the gyrating on Its tall.
challenge: What wistics would I you reach the mountains are stony mountain herds of reindeer. But you streets the thousands of pitiful And, of course, before leaving the think reasonable for a young man and diMcult to walk on When a could not enjoy this unless you were persons who now sleep there of house, you cover yourself with some and a young woman of the prestmi | friend and I did a walking tour there, prepared for hard walking.
perfume powerful enough to asphy-nge? I can think of only one wish I took as little as possible with me,
which is applicable to both sexOS, so that my ruck-sac would not be- Idyllic Delights | nights. It must be admittedxiste a dustman at a hundred yards, and to all times. This is the wish come an intolerable burden,
thal conditions such as can be in short, your first wish is to become to be perfect at one's job.
a Alm star.
Some little time ago I was dictating An Unforgettable Scene If you prefer the other type of tour seen in West Point, where
I suggest any itinerary from Bergen, Your second is to attend the pre- un article on the nature of obsessions.
Although the walks were long I could be followed. Here the scenery young woman to whom I was hundreds are packed along the miere of your drst picture, and, on dictating it was delightful to look have never spent a more enjoyable catches the breath for its sheer beau-
going into the cinema, to find such at and doubtless a charming sidewalks,-men,
com- holiday. We took the Bergen-Osio ty, but it is a beauty loss terrifying and women
ta crowd awailing you that ordinary panion on and was not in her works. made our way to the mountains by 8es and mountains are thickly wood- express to Myrdal, and from there than that of the Jotunheim. The gor. children lying like 80 many citizens, trying to get from Leicester- But her corpses-are not only revolting square to Piccadilly-girets, have to She made my article to be about the walking, car, and fjord steamer, re-ed; everywhere the sound of runnin
nature of Alsatians. And
running "even then serving our energy as far as possible water can be heard; roaring water- go round by the Embankment! to normal sensibilities but are a
falls can be she spelled the
wrongly! word
for our walking tour proper. When in green valleys beside quiet lakes. When can be visited, you can picnic Your third wish? Simply that the
I foamed with rage. I would will we reached small place definite menace both to the crowd will remain in close-pacited ingly have leashed wolf-hounds at Tycnholmen, we had our first glimpse You can take a fjord steamer and
of the Jotunheim, a sight which was drop off at thinking of health of the unfortunates who expectancy until you come out again. her. Either she was not
the villages on about her work, or she was, In the unforgettable. Across the lake, in the Hardanger Fjord. All these have no better place to go but to
lalter case I can only conclude that the distance, reached up masses of villages are typically Norwegian, and and by tourist
You can shot expected me to write ite an peaks, gaunt, and stil snowclad, the unspoilt by
snow touched by the rays of the set stay a day or two, bathe in the fjord, or take out a boat and foll at your case. Or you can take one of the Bulck cars that ply backwards and forwards between the village, for very small fare, and see some of the places of interest.
York Building, Chater Road, Hong Kong.
Phone 20527.
Swan Culbertson
Friti са
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Can
the health of the whole Colony.epidemic so readily breeds can- Since cholera has reached epi-not be too frequently stressed if, in the end, something is done demic form here, and there be no denying that the popula-to remove at least a large num- tion has increased enormously ber of them. For proportion- in all classes, that there are ately the risks of disease are thousands who ennnot provide reduced. True, Hongkong has for themselves and protect them-always had the problem of the selves, it is obviously the Gov. street sleeper, but it is not right"| ernment's responsibility to act.j
to say that it always shall. This Some sort of remedy was urged |
Is as good a time as any, prob- ably better since there is more by this newspaper months ago,
incentive to action, to attempt for it took no great amount of
to discover a permanent remedy vision to perceive just what
for the evil. Whether or not would happen in the crowded
Government has this in mind is) city if discaso gat out of control. So far this year there have been not known. If it has not it is missing one of the key points only about 200 cases of cholera
to the health problem of Hong- reported, with approximately 80.
kong. What is required in the per cent. of these fatal. But case of the street sleepers does the epidemic, although it has not fall under the classification been controlled very admirably, of social service so much as it is still with us; and it is an does health service. The prob- incalculable sort of thing, wax-lem is not alone one for the ing and waning for no apparent moralist, therefore; it is a mat- ter of practical, internal organ- reason and in spite of all efforts iantion for the protection of the of the Health Authorities. The community which the public hus menace of these thousands of a right to expect authority to street_sleepers among whom recognise.
The
idiot.
dance-floor.
GRIN AND BEAR IT
By Lichty
5-19
"Hello, Mall was a
great Aght I'm glad I won-we'll be right home"
some of
ས
Once you have been to Norway you will never forget its beauty, but there is something else you will forget, That is the food. The huts or hotels where you will spend the night may often seem bare, and in the Jotunheim. even crude, but you wär'forget that once you have eaten.
The principal meal of the day is served at 2 p.m., and supper at 8 pm. Breakfast the poor riser will be interested to hear-runs from about 8 a.m. to 11 a.m.
Supper and breakfast are very“ similar, and the guests help them- selves from a table in the middle of the room laden with every kind of food. You will find it difficult to control your animal sensation when you have come in from a long tramp to that groaning table, with its trout and salmon, its meats, its jellies, its fruits rasps and cherries a great foaming jugs of milk and cream, and atter your first day or two I don't think you will even attempt to con trol yourself,
And last of all with a glow of satis- faction partly from your supper and partly the exhilaration of the walk, you will sit talking with a motley collection of walkers from all countries round a great log fro, for the nights are cold when the sun goes down behind the mountains, and you will feel that this really to life, and the only possible way of spending n Holiday.
.It.
+