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THE HONGKONG Telegraph, Thursday, January 27, 1998,
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ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Mrs. Sybil Gardner extends her sincere gratitude to all those who attended the funeral of the late Mr. John Gardner, those who sent wreaths and those who sent messages of condolence in her sad bereavement.
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
Thursday, JANUARY 27, 1038.
of wills. This pro-
trated by the Bryant case.
The President of the Divorce Court dismissed the petition of
have?
By
JAMES DOUGLAS
If the wife uses her will wise- ly and warily sho may make a good wenk husband happy in the knowledge that aho is his help- mato in the intricacies of mur- riage.
The whole business is an in- terplay of values. The outsider cannot analyse and define and weigh these values.
They are the arcana of 'mar- rlage. They are the imponder- ables of affection and loyalty and devotion.
The same. philosophy is equal- ly applicable to the case of the wife who gives way to her hus- band because she recognises that his will is wiser than her. own and that their harmony may be
the wife for a decree of judicial admit that her husband's will is only by yielding in every way to attained by her subordination the mastery of the feminine will, and her self-surrender in the
Her will to harmony may scem
soparation on the ground of the stronger than her own. alleged cruelty of her husband. That is the supreme vanity of They purchase equilibrium by minutiae of life.
"There have been grave faults human wills. If pressed and giving way.
It may be that the defects of incompatible with her human on both sides," he said, "but in pushed to extremes the cult of my opinion the wife has been at the strong will produces the the husband's character are cor- pride and dignity, Outsiders least as much to blame as her misery of stalemate and dead- rected by the will-power of the cannot judge in these matters. They are hidden and invisible He may realise that it is secrets.
husband.
"I am satisfied," said Sir Boyd Merriman, that the husband was devoted to his wife, but think he was very domineering and not very tactful."
I
lock.
I am inclined to doubt the
wife.
mon sense.
whole dogma and doctrine that salutary for him to be governed But strength of will may be glorifies the strong will as n and discplined. He may find manifested in what seems to be age there ought to be no conflict wife's superior wisdom and com- who gives in that is the real vic- thing good in itself. In marri happiness in leaning on his weakness. It is often the one With regard to the wife he of strong wills.
tor in the conflict of wills. said: "She was not prepared to
The ideal marriage is not He may find security and
It is often the highest valour take criticism from anybody, wenk will to the strong will. It foibles and his own follies in a cowardice to ba strong.
based upon the obedience of the safety and shelter from his own to be weak and the supremest especially from her husband.
is based upon mutual love, which complete acceptance of his wife She acted as if she was con- vinced that she was always in overcomes the whims and cap the right, and was quite deter- rices of the strong will by a pro- mined to have her own way."
cess of give and take.
THE President also de-
clared:
trolled.
as the keeper of his conscience.
WHERE there is real If may seem an incredible
love there is no last- thing that a happy marriage ing glory in the triumph of will- should be built upon this sur power. The winner may lose A GOOD husband may render of will-power, But these everything in a barren victory.
possess a will of iron, things happen every day in the The real laurels may adorn
SEAMEN LIVE
"I am bound to say that I but he does not use it as an in- mysterious blending of wills the brow of the vanquished. detected no evidence in the wife strument of tyranny. LIKE HUMANS
Often these battles of will end He wields it for the purpose of wrought by the alchemy of love. of that old-fashioned virtue in
in a rivalry of self-sacrifice. The Sweeping reforms, the most ce."
the marriage service obedien- self-control and self-sacrifice.
A HUSBAND may be so contestants disdain the spoils of He realises that will-power is a
fond of his wife that conquest. They proclaim each important for many years, con- "After a conflict in the court destructive force unless it is he can make his will bend to her other the victor and rejoice in cerning the health and safety of which lasted six days the two enerously and mercifully con- will in order to erect an edifice competitive reconciliation. British seamen, are embodied antagonists are where they were,
of happiness for her, for himself, in the regulations
Fortunately these battles of Of course, it is a fallacy to and for the children. Do not love are not always fought out recently will opposed to will. The four issued by the Board of Trade to children, with the consent of imagine that the will of a wife is sneer at this as uxoriousness! before the eyes of impartial and their surveyors at shipbuilding both parties, have been made weaker than the will of a hus- Is such a husband necessarily dispassionate spectators. The centres and ports throughout wards of the court.
band. Will-power 15 not a a weak creature without a will wise husband and wife conceal Great Britain. The first clause
of his own? It is surely possi- the fray from all save them- stipulates that all living accom-man confessed, "in the circum-
"I am afraid," Sir-Boyd Merri. monopoly of either sex.
A frail and fragile woman ble to exert a strong will for a selves. modation on British ships is to stances, this judgment of mine is may be endowed with unbreak- higher aim and end than victory? be either amidships or aft, thus not going to do anybody any capable of winning every conflict that marriage is made perfect other. Like
able will-power. She may be
They have their reward in the If the husband is convinced renewal of their love for each abolishing the centuries-old cus-good."
the lovers in tom of housing the crew in the The real fight was over the of will by sheer staying power. by the surrender of his will Tennyson's lyric, they can say, fo'e'sle (forecastle) or fore part custody of the children, and_it_
She may wear her husband power of his wife, he can go to "O.we fell out my wife-and-1,-0- of the vessel-which-is-un- seems that the fight will go on to into abject surrender for the almost any length in the exer- we fell out, I know not why." comfortable in bad weather and the bitter end.
sake of a quiet life.
cise of self-surrender and self- and they can kiss again with dangerous in case of a head-on The two willa
We all know marriages of this subordination, are equally collision. Other clauses provide matched. It is a case of an ir sort, wherein the wife establishes Does he become contemptible for washrooms with hot water resistible force meeting an im- a lifelong despotism and tyranny in his own eyes by willing his THIS miracle is a com- and shower baths for all memmovable obstacle.
over the husband.
own pliability and abandoning
monplace in marriage. bers of the crew, a specially
It is one of the mysteries of his own wishes to attain à satis- It reduces to absurdity the [equipped hospital on each ship. EVERY husband and marriage that stable happiness fying harmony of wills? Should stupid riddle, "Have you ************ minimum standards of lighting,
every wife may, with can be evolved out of the com- he be despised for his resolute stronger will than your hus- heating and ventilation, more profit, ponder over this tragedy plete subordination of a strong determination to practise the band ?" The strong will to love headroom in cabins, the reserva-of two conflicting wills.
man to an apparently weak virtue of selflessness?
is the winner of the fight over tion of space on deck for the Every husband will ask him woman.
and over again. crew's recreation, and a long self this crucial question, "Have
THE answer to this con-
And who shall say which will list of other improvements.
undrum is very com- is the stronger when both wills. It depends upon the act as a solvent and a
peace- will maker in every conflict of will-
power?
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COUNT THE
"TELEGRAPHS"
EVERYWHERE.
The movement which has re-
Ia stronger will than my wife?" SOME husbands are tem-
Every wife will ask herself the dominate their wives and are moral strength of both
peramentally unable to plicated. sulted in these reforms was same question, "Have I a strong able to find peace and harmony powers. started by the Board of Tradeer will than my husband ?" which suggested several years No husband likes to admit that; ago to the Shipping Federation his wife's will is stronger than that every effort should be his own, and no wife likes to made to improve the accommoda-
tion of crews. The Shipping
of
tears.
ODDITIES OF ENGLISH
it
he can walk to and fro; but he can- and now it does not exist apart from
Well known twins are
&
In this rich and varied tongue of ours we have many hyphenated twin words. There is, for instance, fiddle-faddie.. Wo do not usa "addle" apart from "Addie." We may tell a trifler not to fiddle-faddle, but we do not tell him not to faddle. Another instance is hurly-burly. Yet "burly" once had a separate life. It is derived from Old French→→→ hurler," n verb menning to make
Federation, which acts for the Britain has set up standards, shipowners in matters relating which have been copied by the TN these competitive times it is. the
ployed by itself. A man does not to seamen, prepared a report rest of the world, have usually lot of most of us to have to toll one's nose is kept close to the grind-talk about going to see his kit.
The word has nothing to do with containing certain proposed been the result of the devoted and moll. But who has ever heard stone; and one has not so much
chance of going to and fro, Here relations: Inbours
and means felends in-of anybody who molled? standards for all British mer-
far-sighted
again is an instance of twin words. ncquaintances, from the Anglo-Saxon The breadwinner does not chant ships, but. before their dividuals. Perhaps the most home and tell his wife that he has not known by itself.
come Nobody can go fro-such a word is "cuth," which is derived from "eun- nan": to know. As time ́marched recommendations could be apnotable of these reformers was had a long day of moil. This is a
A person can pace to and fro, or on, the origin of the word was lost, plied, the depression set in and Samuel Plimsoll, who introduced word which is never seen apart from there was little money available legislation to prevent the over- its constant companion, toll.
nat pace or walk fro. The word is, "kith and kin." Yet, If we look back into history, of course, a shortened form of for refitting the crew's quarters loading of vessels, and whose on the older ships. For new name is perpetuated in the we find that "moll" once had "from"; but it is never used by it- "Plimsoll Mark" painted on the ways dependent upon its twin. It
separate existence. It was not al-self, nor has it ever been. ships, however, particularly those built under the Govern sides of all British ships-and comes from the Old French, and What are "Kith"? ment's "scrap and build" pro- of nearly all foreign ships as meant to make dirty. The appro-
kith and gramme of 1936, the Board of well-beyond which they may priateness of this is at once apparent.
Whon one is toiling and molling 'kla. But the first word is not em- His long Trade demanded very high stan-not be loaded down. dards, with the result that many struggle for the betterment of British cargo liners now have conditions at sen resulted in the excellent accommodation amid famous Merchant Shipping Act experimenting with every known of following their example, de loud noise. The thyming addition ships; whereas in the past the of 1876, which gave stringent remedy and paying the greatest rided them and christened them was for euphony, although, it means crow were all crowded into the powers of inspection to the attention to the provision of-limeya'--a name by which something quite different by itself. fo'c'sle, they will now be nc- Board of Trade.
fresh food and water he suc- British sailors are still known Dilly and Dally commodated in separate cabins, Exactly П hundred years ceeded to such an extent that in many parts of the world- cach with only two berths. On earlier anothor great benefactor scurvy was practically unknown and many years elapsed before the return of prosperity the of the human race aubmitted to on his ship, although his voy- the diet was universally adopted. lazy man may dally, but he cannot original report was re-examined the Royal Society of London alages frequently lasted for two To-day the nations are more The first word may be found in the and a series of discussions took treatise on the prevention of the years or more, while on other progressive, and ships under dictionary, and means to muffle or place between the Board of loathsome disease known as ships men died by the score, many flags are provided with conceal, from the word "hug." But Trade, the Shipping Federation, 'scurvy. This Was Captain In 1796 some of his ideas were good quarters. for their men. by itself. That is, unless we fall the National Union of Seamen, James Cook, the great explorer adopted by the Royal Navy, and The importance of the new re-back on the slang of the strolling and the representatives of other and navigator. While serving lime juice was issued as agulations for the British Mer-actor, and recognise a mugger as a Important shipping interests, as a junior naval officer in regular part of the men's diet cantile Marine cannot be over performer who makes funny mugs, resulting in the co-operation and General Wolfe's expedition to in the tropics, though it was catimated, for
the highest or faces.
Riff-roft is another pair which is complete agreement of all con- Quebec ho was so appalled by not made compulsory for the standards of living over known indivisible. You may mix with riff- corned and the issue of the new the ravages of scurvy on board merchant service until much at aca will be established at one raff, but you cannot mix with rift, regulations.
ships that he determined, as later. British crews ceased to stroke in more than a quarter nor yet with raff.
There are some words which take In the past, the most import soon as he got a command, to suffer from scurvy, but the sea of the total shipping of the on quite different mennings in the
(Continued on Poga 5.). ant reforms whereby Great find a means to prevent it. By men of other countries, instead world.
Similar twins are dilly-dally. A
dilly. Then there is hugger-mugger.
there is no such word as "mugger",