12
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11, 1987.
E. ARNOT ROBERTSON, famous authoress, reviewing many recent cases in which robbed and rejected women have said "I Love Him Still," laments
WIVES who WILL
H
Forgive
IT over the head with a chair, a wife in Ken- tucky recently begged her husband or A tharge of assault on the grounds that it was just his childish temper.
(The naughty-naughty, he had already done it before, in a fit of annoyance. She forgave him at once, and the court, as usual, failed to connect, as pos- sible cause and effect, her in- dulgent air of "Men are just big babies," and his extreme and repeated exasperation.)
He was returned to her with a caution.
Accused of embezzling money. which he spent on a girl friend, an English husband-stiti more recently-prevalled on his wife to raise on her life insurance the sum to be repald, in order to keep him out of prison.
He then spent this on the girl as well, and auggested to the wife that she should ball him came: out when retribution which she did. He must have known she would: how much Irritation was mixed up, in his mind, with the comfort of that certainty?
N
3
OW
magistrate, has Macbeth, Mr. expressed himself as amazed by the long-suffering of wives. "Women who are badly treated by the men they love," he said, "but still go on
"To-day's Thought
A MAN may know the world without leaving his own home.
-LAO-TSZC
loving them, constitute one of the world's greatest mysteries,"
Surely not! Like Journalists, who cannot keep the word "amazing "away from the word "revelations," magistrates seem to live in a state of perpetual surprise over the more obvious facts about human nature.
Some of us, as wives, are angels; some are not; but all of us know the advantage of the superior moral position. To err is certainly human, but to for- give is divine only, as a rule, for the forgiver.
In our spiritual trade union as wives it is recognised that, do wrong by us once, and with a ittle good-womanly manage- ment you can be made to pay for it indefinitely.
HAVE often thought that one of the great- est deterrents to mar- nage, for a young man, should be the reports, day after day, in the newspapers, which prove the almost impossibility of alienating the love of a technically good woman once she has started on a course of forgiveness, whether that for- giveness is wanted or not.
In the case which amazed the magistrate, the weeping wife in the witness-box went so far as to sue the man for arrears of maintenance, but repented in He had strayed away, court. and then returned to make love to her promising to turn over a now leaf.
When she went to visit lim she found, lying about, letters from women showing that shice his last declaration to her, he
E. ARNOT ROBERTSON
had deserted one and offered marriage to another. But on her pleading, the magistrate let him off the penalty for non- payment, on the understanding that he would now make a home for his wife.
What else could he do but agree?
Most of the wives I know would behave in the same way in the same circumstances and my heart goes out, however wrongly, to the man who has had his new leaf turned over for him by order of the court. It may be that the magistrate was justified in his assurance, in the husband, that a wife such as this was, worth all the casual girls he met.
UT
not the
Bagistrate who faced
the ordeal of a home life of enforced gratitude-and It is so much pleasanter to be wronged than to be put in, the wrong, for ever!
The glutinous quality of our
Words We Can Do Without
"DIFFERENT
times,
lowes haunts of the East End; but no, It is probably a gathering of the
By Lady Benson, Bright Young Things in the West
different manners" and how absurd it is to cavil at the changes. For In Inany cases, when you take a back- ward glance, you realise how very WIFE OF THE VETERAN ACTOR Elle difference there is
between things that we now deery, such as the current expressions of
"Definitely" came into
End,
"Bright Young Things" and those seam, simply to express the affirma dull,
How the ridiculous affectation
for.
instance,
HOW I
KEEP FIT
(By Treb: Carlito)
IF I were expected to give a direct answer to the 'question. How do you keep fit?" I fear I would be "I really don't know."
In its modern significance the question calls to mind physical exercises organised to turn what is C3 sometimes supposed to be nation into a nation of Al physical standards. My first birthday wan over 80 years ago, and so I belong to n generation in which that sort of physical exercise was hardly ever mentioned.
I was not a strong boy and, owing to a pronounced weakness in the back many games were forbidden me. Had my birthday been 1937 instead of
1847, 1 expect the school authorities would have sent me to clinic for some sort of remedial exercises. I am not going to say that such exercises would have killed me off, but they could hardly have given me a longer or more interesting life. I say "interesting life" ad- visedly.
Exercise in my young days came to us in more or less compulsory form. I lived a good five miles from my place of business. I was keen on making a fortune, and running to and fro saved time; and time was
money.
1
Later, I picked up a novelty called velocipede, which had wooden
wheels, iron tyres, and no springs. On it I could race the horse omnibus, and I suppose that left a seat free in one of
of those rare vehicles for some business
but competitor. 1 expect
few very
of
who those very, comfortably settled down on the bus have outlived me. Later on,I found it pleasant and helpful to go to the office on horseback,
Power Of Interest
But in reeunting those methods
of getting to business and in seeing វ them forms of exercise, I do not wish to over-estimate or to under- estimate their effect in keeping and
-treated affection must be come almost unbearable, at times, to a man who has done everything he can think of, ex- cept murder, to free himself from it. It is not, however, amaking me . They were all quite
subsidiary and incidental to mystery.
business of life.
my Maicing
then money was business in life, and I found it very But I am sure Interesting indeed.
In none of the three cases mentioned did the man neglect his wife, and that is the whole explanation. He hit, robbed or deceived her, returning amor- ously at intervals.
And that, as the magistrate ought to have known, is nothing like enough to allenate most of
119.
Only prolonged neglect will do it, as a rile: the divorce court proves that as often as the magistrates' courts
prove that ill-treatment will not: and the man's offence, in nach of these three cases, was a long way from inattention.
But neglect is really very difficult to achieve, in most domestic clr- cuinslances, where financial pres- sure will make it hard for a man to leave his wife. --
A
The first sign of it, if we are of the fanatically faithful type so often commended, we can subtly create that oppres- sive atmosphere of forgiveness. past and present, and then, long before the necessary amount of neglect is reached, normal male i-temper is likely to step in, as it did each time, apparently, in the case of the Kentucky couple.
Then you 111-treat us, one way or another. not necessarily by
the
of this also, that the interest of life from that angle had more to do with keeping me going than the exercise. however strenuous, of getting back- wards and forwards from Brixton to City. Chy
have never overcome that weak- ness in the bukk, and 1 have never considerable been able to lift any weight very far from the ground. But when all is said and done, who (except perhaps
professional a hard weight-lifter
manual worker) does want to ft heavy weights a great distance from the #round" Certainly not the ordinary man with a purpose in life.
or
11
I have had some big flnesses in my life. The first came to me in 1877, and it was the direct result of business losses and the constant mental anxiety. Life ambition was quenelied, and I all but died.
,
should perhaps have died had it not been for another paramount interest coming to me. To use that, old- fashioned but wonderfully true and accurate word, I was converted. Life looked up again and took new interests.
11
1883, I was knocked down In the gutter, kicked about, and con- months. sequently old up for six But the Church Army had been born in 1982, and I had to live for it. Besides, the fight in it and for it interested ine and made me again. I carry the marks of that conflict to this day.
physical force, and we have got Grip Recovered is hurd to under-expression of her boredar. you gain, telplessly.
tungs.
catter.
the
The law wonders aloud that women as fine as we are can go on loving men like you, and you are
$11
What is the word meant to ex-
Irritating? press?
No-the other my young Vogue users did not irritate the few years ago, and was use at nait friend, she simply thought the party but that was not a strong which years ago youth (then called tive.
Lausy" was more seathing, and I "the young foll") was reprimanded came into being
stand.
suppose she and her friends convey- These eccentricities of language d all they wished by this torin. the word
Some- "Fout."
tells me, Take, for "awful."
When you come to think ore as infcellous na measles. or other coins word
which means "lthy." "abscene," "unpure." / ordered back to duty.
Mare women than men are mur- of it. It is far more absurd than the one
tle or nothing and im- but surely if the play 1 heard criti-
been all there dered every year, but not as many present "devastating." yet in Vic- signifies
more as might be expected. I think, even one of them, the cen- torian times parents pointed out that mediately the whole of the younger as "four" had
our persistence the expression,
"awfully jolly" or set takes it up and makes use of it
would 102-suffering when you good" was not only ludi- blindly, and soon throws it aside for or would have had a say in the considering "awfully erous, but almost blasphemous. We some new abomination.
That is the blessed <ason why No, it was only a play which was obviously prefer resentment: con- were told nothing could be "awful" but things that were awe-inspiring these words sink into oblivion; they net enjoyed! We know that in the sidering, too, our assurances-in superseded. isn't eighteenth century certain words pubile-that if only you will come or of the supernatural. These exe
clarining to hear "bilge" were constantly used-words which back to us, because the magistrate exactly postulations were of no avall, and exit from the mouth of a lovely were merely the expressions of the gives you no option, all will be The expression became universal: girl, and it seldom truthfully ex day and presumed to be used by forgotten. and is now, of course, nccepted with-
presses what she wishes to say. "smart" people.
Kipling spoke of the appalling. The "oldest kind of words" used in
But that was an age of exaggera, memory of women: has any man newest kind way" seem less tion; dresses,
of
manners, make-up-
Pever believed those assurance? All posed to be more up-to-date taking prevalent among men females all were consistent with the times. will be forgiven. certainly; but very
It was on artificial period, pictures- their places, the expressions colned hearing them come from female lips.
que, fantastic, but decidedly un- by the Bright Young Things might people "sit up and take notice."
used 10 natural, The
expression "tripe"
and therefore the "vastly become household words, like our
amuse us. Why should the name of entertaining" and "prodigious" do little friend "awfully."
That extremely ugly word "rotten" n poor, harmless, extremely whole not jar, but seem in keeping with the was held in horror some years ago, same food be used as a term of abuse hoopy and powder. To speak of a "rotten" play or a for a boring novel or play? Still,
out analysis or condemnation.
so soon are
If the newer words were not so constantly changing, and others sup- "he
"rolten"
time wh
I
"awful," which is, if anything, more acme of vulgarity, and an appalling word for a girl to make use of. A misleading than "tripe."
few years ago we said the same of A "Lousy" Gathering t being natural, without
"putrid," which is no more ugly, no than vulgar, more aenseless "retten."
or
Only A Fashion
០៧
manner,
rarely forgotten.
公
AM, of course, not denying that there are many cases of heart-
breaking and altogether admir- able forbearance by wives; but these, I suspect, are the ones that do not get into court.
As our unequal law stands, there is such obylous advantage to the woman in forcing the man to go on earning a living for both, when all he yearns for is to get away.
I like to see sympathy fairly dia- tributed, and it is time some of it Went where no magistrats ever. gives it, to the men who enduro our tenacious endurance.
was very ill again in 1907, and that was principally due to the fact that the mind relaxed its grip on its interest. In illnesses of that character There is only one thing to regain physical fitness-to make the mind I nicks
interests again. un travelled for many, many months and
got a grip of life once more.
I looked death in the face in 1828, The doctors could do next to nothing s that was in some ways 3 thing. No one expected me to
recover. and I was left alone with the prayers of my friends, Physically, I was practically starved. The li- ness, whatever it was, representing evil perhaps, was starved Arst. came back again to lead the Church Army in its good work.
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Not long afterwards I was thrown violently off a bus in Victoria Street. The hospital looked after me for zoine weeks. Many younger people could have had a less serious Inli and have suffered death. Interest tor Freight or Passage, apply to:-
of life kept me going.
21 Royal was going to meet Princess that, afternoon and chafed under the confinement in the hospital word. She came to
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gracious gesture which I appreciated. I have kept fit, nay, kept alive, by increased, power and efficiency. But, the point am stressing through the sheer process of being Interested. out this article is simply this that
It is the mind which is paramount.
I do not smoke, nor do I drink. I
know many nonagenarians do both. They might have lived even longer if they hadn't! I eat very little, but
When the Princess came to my bed-Day Of Relaxation side she did more than she thought. What rules do I keep? I always I like to eat often. No meat comes It helped my mind and made me
considered the years ago it would have been styled No Sense Of Beauty
But the present generation prides
in brusque afcetations, I have heard the expression "b-y cut in speech, therefore colloquial tripe: surely that is the Inst expres- affectations seem out of tune with slon to apply to tripe? The word the times, and that is inartistic; per- shiver, being haps that word sums up the reason used to make people
the lowest for the anachronism. with A short time ago I heard an ex- only associated It was
a vulgar "swear
We have lost our sense of beauty; iremely pretty and well-bred girl people.
and it required the courage we have no convictions in art; we
have made a point of having one rest my way these days.
the middle- describe a pins as "by putrids told of George Bernard Shaw to introduce are too proud of what we are
determined to live for the interest day a week." It is not a day of A doctor says that gave me a shudder, but was
lt o
la pleased 1 call our "advanced"
which she was that afternoon laziness in front of the fire; it has aged men of Canada are not so fit as lo England. by one of her mon friends, that it it into polite society. Now
of painting to learn the
serving the work of the Church always been a day of relaxation. I the middle-aged men "didn't mean anything it was quite an ordinary thing to hear a school
of the old mosters. They girl condemn a thing as genitr expression
charming
Army. of the
simply have relinquished active part The long Canadian winter encourages belug
or the word may be have lind their day; we want some- by why
By all the rules of the game any in Church
work, though I them to alt too much in front of the. Army could one, ratúrally
you express yourself in tacked to another few and thrilling thing new.
little more
And, that no doubts is why we and pursue it we may wall; deserve of those Hines I have mentioned found it imponible (as I expect will fire, and mental interest dies. That's language It doesn't adjective to make
should not be too. Bulingable
so many anatomical freaks colli: to renting in the versemine of the should have anished me off. But I be easily understood) to target it the rub. I prefer; in order to keep frican_nnything?" If you analyse the striking and descriptive, lexpresiion, it cerminis equidn't One feels it misleading to hear a bited rear by year in our picture "Bright Young Things "definitely have been always a little impatient altogether on that day, The mind At, that things
as "lousy!" Sotte galleries Uhless we regala bir putrid" and "lour bringing forth with loo many rules, do any holds its principal interysty bano comfortable. A high-chair in the and regulations, too much red tape. 1'do feially, and when the day of rest is office, not on arm-chair with carpet mean what my fair young friend in- party described
not ignore the ruler and so on, but
over returns to activity in it with slippers and a big fire. That's fatal, tended to convey, but it was forcible, years ago we should have pictured sense of beauty, and hat the nothing better than and that is the fashion, nowadays. this party as taking place in the courage to seek beauty in everything "bilge.”
an