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THE
T
SAD
HIS is the story of Mrs. Murphy, who went to her Dublin landlord to pay the week's rent. "Faith, Mrs. Murphy," said the landlord, "it's re- laived I am to get it, but pwhat about last. week's and the week before that?"
"Last week's!" exclaimed the indignant Mrs. Murphy. "If that isn't the height of ingrati- tude! Shure, If I hadn't been afther sellin' yor backdoor for firewood, ye'd 'ave whistled for this week's!"
That story might very well illustrate the Anglo-Irish dispute which is back in the news again-Britain has collected its "rent," but only at the price of its own "backdoor."
14
The ront is the Land Annuities, and the
backdoor
the trade which it onto had with Ireland and which has now been chopped, into ittle pieces.
Millions of non-Irishmen, including my. English friend James, do not know what these Land Annuities are.
That was what caused the rum- pus in a Dublin hotel this week between him and an Irishman. Our Irish friend is also called "James," but, being a forvent Nationalist, he spells it "Beamus" and pronounces it "Shame-us.”
What! cried Seamus, “You don't know what Land Annuitica mean? Then I'll be telling yo—-~- "It's the grit in the Irishman's dinner. It's the pebble that's al- ways in his shoe. It's the patches on his youngster's pants. It's his wife's shree-year-old blouse. It's the hole in his pocket that lost he money. It's his plg that died and the calf that was killed. It's the heel of the British oppres-
Stubbs Road | sots ..
ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
The family of the late Melania
Joanna Botelho wish to thank all friends for their kind expres- slon of sympathy, and the floral tributes sent in thelr recent bereavement.
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3, 3937.
IDEALISM AND REALITIES
**
And lots more in that strain. But, like so many Irish "explanations," It conveyed feeling more than ricaning. Bo I, like the third part- ner in the traditional joke about the Irishman, the Englishman and the Scotsman, had to try to trans- late Scamus' picturesqueness to James' literal English mind. To this effect:-
Back in 1903 (all Irish argu- ments start" Back in ---" usually the 11th century) a Land Act was Dussed by which the Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland 'guaranteed Bonds so that the farmers could buy back the land from the pro- prietors. The peasant farmer was in desperate straits; he could not pay the rent let alone buy the land himself from his landlord....
"Whose ancestors had stolen it
and who were for the most part living abroad on the revenues of Land they never saw....
With a sincerity which is be-from his," interrupted Seamus, yond questioning, the Rev. J. D. MacLean, preaching at the Kow- loon Union Church on Sunday, put forward the viewpoint of the Christian pacifist, with which he
Instead they were to pay the interest on these bonds. That was the origin of Land Annultice.
tune
about
But, James," I explained, with a cautioning eye on Scamus, who mentally grabbed a shillelagh to is obviously in complete sym-clout someone whenever the hated the Irish words were mentioned, pathy. His remarks, as might resented paying the Annuities. have been expected, have One argument, as Beamus sald, was that the land had been stolen. aroused considerable contro-Another was that Ireland had been versy. It is doubtful, however, overtaxed for nearly a hundred
ycarb to the whether his idealism will be re- £300,000,000 all told. garded by any considerable body of opinion as bearing any prac- tical application to the realities of the present day. Mr. Mac-Britain, Ireland's taxable capacity was only a twentieth that of Eng- Lean is very perturbed over land. Britain's
pro- rearmament gramme. Let us quote some of his words:"England, through the lips of her Government and the leaders of her official Church; has renounced the Christian way and has undertaken the paths of
This was based on expert and.................. independent evidence before two Commissions. The contention was that although the same taxes op- piled to Ireland as to Great
"Let's come down to the. Gov- ernment of Ireland Act of 1020, passed after the bloodshed and bitterness of the Rebellion, when Great Britain and Ireland were panting for peace.
PARABLE OF
Mrs Murphy's
Backdoor
-by-
RITCHIE CALDER
+
"Shure, if I hadn't been afther sellin' yer backdoor, ye'd 'ave
whistled for this week's rent."
"This set up two Home Rule Parliaments, one for the North and one for the South, and it provided that neither should pay the Annul- ties that Britain itself would meet the Interest on the bonds.
"The North accepted the Act, and has never paid the Annuities. "But the Bouth was not satis- ned. They negotiated the Treaty which set up the Irish Free State, of 20 Counties. In the Treaty the Annuities were never mentioned.'
"There was no need." put in Seamus," the Treaty was to be an extension of the Act, and any benefits of the Act remained."
"Well, anyway, two years later,. President Cosgrave agreed with Major J. W. Hills of the British Treasury that the Free State should pay £5,000.000 a year to meet the Land Annuities and the certain other things.
That was the agreement which Mr. J. H. Thomas, as Secretary of State for the Dominions, produced
suspended payment of the when the De Valera Government Annuities in 1932."
Do Valera denounced it as a secret agreement which the Irish Parlament, had never ratified and "Dáll" (pronounced "Dawi"), or which the British
had no right to make.
Government
But Mr. Thomas took his stand upon it. In effect he said that the Irish had welshed.
'Instead of sending over troops
years earlier to punish the Irish,
profit.
murder and of all unrighteous-temporary such lordship might be must necessarily be a matter nesa.. The present Govern-
for speculation. It is to be ment has started us headlong to
agreed that if all nations were an abyss of economic and spiri- animated by Mr. MacLean's tunl ruin such as we have never ethics, and there were no aggres- known before.... Are we to be
sors, armics and navies could loyal to Christ or to the British
safely be abolished, just as police Government?" The impression forces could be if there were no, as Britain might have done twenty left by these words is that, in people of criminal instincts, determining to make good the But we have to face the facts as deficiencies in her defences, they are. By Mr. MacLean's Britain has suddenly embarked process of reasoning, a decision by the Government materially to upon some new policy. Opinions strengthen the forces of law and may differ as to whether the cir-order so as to cope with the cumstances necessitate such danger of increased crime large-scale expenditure, but even involving thereby possible blood- the Socialists agree that the na- shed in a war on criminals
a policy of murder; which, of for the preservation of its
course, is absurd. We assume, security. To describe this at- also, that the Christian pacifist titude, which is shared by the would, under no circumstances, Government, as being tanta-[use physical force to repel a murderous attack on his wife or mount to embarkation an #
his child. But there are very policy of murder is, we suggest few people who would be pre- to strain the accepted usage of pared to carry the Christian words. Seemingly, Mr. MacL.can concept thus far. Mr. MacLean's and other Christian pacifists sermon may have been a correct would be quite willing to see interpretation of the views of Britain render herself complete the school of thought to which ly defenceless against aggres he belongs and may be ethically sion. He argues that it does not sound, but, by the majority of matter who exercises what he people, his theories will be re- describes as temporary lordship garded as utterly impracticablo over our material lives. How in prevailing world conditions. 2
skins, as they might have paid for talls to stop a rat pestilence.
"Cattle were killed off and the ment given away to the poor. Land went into decay. The West became,
In more and more depopulated. three years, tome 100,000 young people emigrated to Britału.
True, Mr. de Valera used the war-to-haston--his-pursuit of 'National Self-Sufficiency,' that is to say, he encouraged wheat- growing, brought back flour. milling, established new Industries and scattered factories over the
country.
"Those new industries supplied goods that once came from Indus- trial Britain in exchange for Irish foodstuffs. British ports, once en- gaged in prosperous Irish trade, suffered.".
The
"backdoor" had been The chopped up for firewood. Irish, like Mrs. Murphy, felt the draught, but that backdoor was valuable to Britain and difficult replace, especially when other countries could walk in through the gap.
My explanations, however, were
Abruptly cut short by a fresle. brawi.
James had sald something "funny" which annoyed Seamus..
"The trouble with you. Irish." said the aggrieved James, "is that you boast of your wit but have no sense of humour."
And the trouble with you Eng- Ilsh," retorted Beamus, "le that you have too much pride and no. sense of proportion."
Seamus,
think, is right. What is needed is sense of proportion. I have in front of me the Civil Estimates of the Irish Free State. Its total revenues aro £27,314,783. Contrast- that with the £800,000,000 of the British Budget. Compare it with the £5,000,000 Land Annuitica which the Free Stato is expected to pay. That is nearly a ffth of the total revenue of the Free State but it is barely one-one hundred and sixtieth of the British income.
Remember, too, that Ireland has A population of roughly 3,000,000— about a third of the population of
· Greater London.
Even James admitted that "it. seemed silly" to keep up this quarrel. Couldn't it be settled by arbitration?
Yes, Britain has offered to refer it to an Imperial Tribunal. Iro- land insisted that it should be an International court. But better: still it might be settled by friendly negotiation.
But. I am afraid, it is not the £5,000,000 which 15,"sticking_in. Britain's gizzard." Evon Mr.. Thomas unsaid his "business arrangement" statement when he admitted two years ago that it was bound up with the question of the Oath of Allegiance, the post- tion of the Governor-General and the constitution of the Irish Free State.
can
Nothing Britain
do will change the new Irish constitution: which is on its way. From it the Oath and the Governor-General disappear. The King is never mentioned. The Free State, co far as its internal affairs is concerned. is to all intents and purposes a re- public.
But in its relations with the Commonwealth it acknowledges the King 08 "symbolla head." After the Abdication It accepted George VI as such. And the sig- nificance of that has not been1. fully appreciated. The Irish Na- tionalists acknowledged the King And it --by Act of Parliament. got the Imperial statesmen out of one of the most awkward jams they have ever been in.
So, as James and Seamus ulti- mately agreed, why cannot we settle this family quarrel in the proper spirit, without bitterness: and In that common goodwill which the common peoples of Britain and Ireland feel for each otlier? And, anyway. Britain can- not do without its "back"nor."
UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR
*
Ition's defences hould be adegunto could be described as indicating punishing British goods in theme following is told of Matthew What kind of a cap do you want?
Two Irish farmers who had not met: NHILD. humour is mostly uncon-
scious, but there is nalvete also for a long time gathered at a fair. about some humour which comes One of them informed his friend that he was now married. "You don't tell he started a blockade. Ic shut from children of a larger growth. out Irish goods unless they paid "Well,
John, did you take that letter me sol" "Yes, it's the truth, and I've neighbours tell me is the pleture of exceedingly high duties. He main-to Mr. Johnston?" "a marchant in- got a fine healthy boy which the
sir, neig "Yes, of tained that this was purely a bus1-quired the office-boy.
read it. meself." The friend looked at the.. ness arrangement, like putting in but I don't think he can the balls to collect a debt. But "Can't read It! Why not?" "Because rather unprepossessing countenance before him for a moment, and then ho la blind, sir.
asked me twice It has had the result of collecting where my hat was, and it was on
came out with, "Och, well, what's about £0,000,000 a year instead of
the harm as long as the child's £5,000,000 a handsome business my head all the time."
healthy?" A lady asked a friend, "Does your husband smoke?" and received the reply, "Oh very little. He likes a
A salesman found a customer, very cigar after he has had a good dinner. difficult to suit with a cap. Nothing "Mr. do Valera retorted by but I don't suppose he smokes two
he showed seemed to be the thing, a month.
until almost in desperation, he said, same way-by duties--and the Arnold. While un inspector f War was on an economic war as schools, he had great difficulty with
when the man ineekly replied, "T want one with, the peak down the relentless as armed forco.
a country school in an examination
tion back." “And, as in all wars and in all on English literature. They knew Which reminds me of the Northum blockades, it has been the poor tie or nothing. At last, he called beriand pitman who agreed to bring people who have had to bear the out, "Who Wrote Hamici, tell me from Newcastle for his chum a pair: brunt.-
that?" There was still no answer until af pit stockings-blue, with white "Irish agriculture-its staple In-out of the silence came
a hair-
toes and tops, and at one and six the dustry was crippled and impover frightened volce, "Please, sir, it wasn't pair. He found the shop all right, ished. Britain
me!! was its main,
wight Arnold
but nothing shown was what almost its only, market for cattle, That night
told the story wanted. "They were too
have and any
other horses and farm-produce. The at dinner, and the host, who thought he said "We never
there must be a joke somewhere, but kind," said the shopman, "theso will
ail right."
"No, they winna dec. stream of exports dwindled to a trickle Calvos were killed off at could not see it, ventured to say, be
"And I suppose the little rascal had Ye've never seen Geordie. Geordie's the rate of 200,000 a year. The
done it all the time.
bow-legged," Government paid 103, cach for
An American school teacher told The mald had not been giving satis- her pupils about her visit to England, faction and the mistress began an ex- and mentioned, among the wonderful postulation. Your work, specully aights had seen, Lincoln Cathedral, of late, has been very porfunctory, A girl inquired, "Has England got a Defore she could get any further the Lincoln Cathedral?" "Certainly, Bald was staggered by the girl's reply, the teacher, "and it is one of the most Thanic ye kindly, mum ive been beautiful of all. "Say "went the here nearly six months now andi adri "wasn't it just west of them to that's the first bit of praise Tre hidi call it after him?"
-To-day's Thought MEN have been wise in very different modes, but thon have always laughed the same way.BAMUEL JOHNSON.
tight