THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, TUESDAY, January 28, 1936.
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WROTE an article on this page last week on "If I Had a Son...
I foresee that this article is going to be more difficult. Difficult in the way that a watch is a more complicated thing to mend and got going than a cartwheel. And that, I take it, is a reasonable image of the difference between a girl and
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Now if I had a daughter.
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by
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JAMES
A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD Open and Closed cars A man is much nearer the male people, who, I suppose, were as
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The
Hongkong Telegraph.
TUESDAY, JAN. 28, 1936.
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LE
AGATE
she should know
The first is to enchant some man, and it may be that pluck-. ing the natural, eyebrows and repainting them behind the cars is one way to do it, It is conceivable that a perfume with a name liko Nuit d'Ostend may also help. Personally I have no desire to embrace a
best is that of honest soap. The second function is to bear children at not unreason- able intervals. The third is to
how to scrub, how to make a poultice:beauty parlour, and the scent I she should read these quotations: be not only wife and mother and she should
wear her own eyebrows.
But an ounce of practice is worth a pound, of precept, Just as every boy ought to learn shorthand and typewriting, so the first things a girl should learn are how to make a bed, how to bake an apple pie, how to new, how to go down on her knees and scrub, and how to shop. And it is in my view the mark of the greatest lady that she best knows how to do these things.
but companion, which includes the supremely difficult task of preventing the lord and master from making a fool of himself in the thousand and one way's to which lords and mastera are prone.
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But suppose says the reader, quick to catch one tripping- that she never finds a mate? the lonely The function of woman, I submit, is to be aufti- clent to herself and a delight to all about her.
The summer's flower is to the
Hummer sweet, Though to itself it only live
and die.
NOTES OF THE DAY between the making of a girl's make a poultice. Perhaps. a I should try to model my little
BEGGARS ARE CHOOSERS
28
You can make a boy do what you want (a) by clubbing him over the head, or (b) by appeal- gorilla? Not so. Any gorilla I ing to his better nature. You have ever met has known far can't make a girl do what you more about me than about his want by these methods (a) be Missus. The pattern is com- cause the thing's not done, and plete with the statement that $3.00 per hour, running rate. (b) because she has no better woman and lady-gorilla, while $1.50. waiting rate.nature. She is a good or bad or drawn to different mental and both consistently and every spiritual scales, exist by virtue Six-Passongor cam:
day, and has no botter self for of their common femininity in some strange dimension un- $5.00 per hour, running rate. "pecial occasions.
The first thing I shall ask the known to man. $2.50
waiting rate.reader to realise is that the dif
ference insexes is much greater Let me illustrate the fore- than the difference in species. going with quotations from two gorilla than he is to any woman. widely different in sex, mind, character, habit, profession as This man and that monkey it is possible for two human have not only arms and legs, beings to be-the actress, Sarah but masculinity__in common. Bernhardt, and the philosopher, They are beings drawn to a dif- John Ruskin. ferent mental and spiritual "Give me any young girl' of scale, but having existence on average intelligence from any the same plane.
Whereas French slum, and in twelve femininity removes the woman months I will turn her into a away from scales and planes and duchess!" Bernhardt used to into a totally different dimension say. But give me a butcher boy, of which man has no understand- and whatever I do he will be a ing whatever.
butcher till the end of his Does the reader think that I career. .have overlooked the female Ruskin said much the same
In my reading I have known thing, only more beautifully:-
"There is just this difference My girl would also learn to three ideal women upon whom They are: character and a boy's-you may family atory may not be out of girl if I had one. Á SAD DAY
One of my brothers Lorna Doone, the perfect sweet- chisel a boy into shape, as you place here. would a rock; or hammer him being desperately ill, my mother heart, Charles Kingsley's Mrs. The thoughts of Britons every-
Beggars are choosere. O, yes, into it, if he be of a better kind, descended into the kitchen to Leigh, the perfect mother, and as you would a piece of bronze, find why the young, starchily Jo March in "Little Women," .Rudy Vallee & His Orchestra. where will to-day instinctively
turn to the Royal vault at Wind-they are. They choose very care But you cannot hammer a girl bibbed, coiffed and cuffed nurse the perfect companion.
As for the lonely girl, I turn "ACCENT ON YOUTH"
sor, where the mortal remains fully. For the last little while we into anything. She grows as a was so long away. She dis-
streetá of Hongkong. There is without sun; she will decay in edges of a linseed poultice with demoded writer who has told us Ridin' Up The River Road Fox Trot Jan Garber & His Orchestra. of a beloved monarch, who have watched them at work in the flower does--she will wither covered her going round the once more to Ruskin, that great ruled wisely and well for more one bright young chap, nilegedly her sheath, as a narcissus will, if a fork, after the manner of that Shakespeare has no heroes
but only heroines:- you do not give her air enough; cooks with pastry! "TOP HAT”
than a quarter of a century, will blind, who selects with a nice judg-she many fall, and deßle her head My mother raised her heavy "The catastrophe of every be laid to rest with fitting pompment the man or woman he intends in dust, if you leave her without Yorkshire hand incidentally play is caused always by the and ceremonial. The occasion to bump and theu, scarcely altering help at some moments of her she was one of the finest pianists folly or fault of a man; the re- will provide a last opportunity his course, he collides with some life; but you cannot fetter her; I have ever heard, having learn- demption, if there be any, is by of paying tribute and respect to violence with the victim he has she must take her own fair formed that art in Heidelberg on an the wisdom and virtue of a instrument belonging to Chopin! woman, and, failing that, there The "blind" boy drops his and way. one who spent himself in the chosen.
And, Inst on this head, let me and boxed the ears of that is none.
Such, in broad cane. The other party to the colll- cause of his country and his Em-
light, is Shakespeare's testimony sion, confused and mortified, give an example from real life. nurse! pire, and for that purpose there sustens to retrieve the cane and Some years ago a young actor The latter thereupon announc- to the position and character will be, besides the bereaved on handing it over to the fambling lost his wife in childbirth, and ed her intention of telephoning of women in human life. He re- at once offers were forthcoming the institute which sent her out presents them. infallibly Royal Family, a notable gather-hand of the baggar it is discovered from the wife's parents and "No," said my mother, "I am go- faithful and wise counsellore- ing of the world's leading per-that that hopeful young racketeer other relatives to take charge ing to telephone!" The rest of incorruptibly just and pure examples strong always to sonalities, including ruling mon-has his other hand ready for some of or adopt the child. The the story does not matter.
Actually, father said: "No! She is my
Space is shortening, and I. sanctify, even when they cannot archs of several nations., Here small compensation.
laughable. We have no real baby, and I am going to stick to have now to approach that save." Richard Himber & His Orchestra. in Hongkong, the day is being is
triple function in life for which
And even, I venture to add, simply and fittingly observed, in complaint against this youngster her!"
Since then he has hired a every girl must be educated.
when they do not marry. accordance with the expressed or the one or two aged ladies who wishes of His Majesty King extend trembling hand and look whole army of nurses and gover- with pleading eyes, murmuring nesses, stuck to the chiki, und
Who can re-aroused the admiration of all. "Cumshaw, taipan." tomary etiquette, in the form of gist that subtle flattery? Unless, his friends. On all hands his Court mourning, will prevail for of course, one is a taipan, and then conduct has been acclaimed as the prescribed period, it is the strategy may not be so effec- extraordinary, and I can never THE wind howled and swirled beat time to the antics of the
round the little guard house cold, piercing breeze. typical of the thoughtfulness of tive. There again the matter of But is not this exactly what perched on the edge of the back
Inside the guard-house another old man, hale and hearty by comparison, the new monarch that, despite selection, of careful choice and we should expect a young widow of beyond. In the sentry-box paused, in the tasks of whetting his the heavy grief which he has to mature judgment of character to do? Should we not take such outside the door stood a little old scytho to consult the huge timo-glass rested on the mantelpiece bear, he should let it be known comes into play. The wiser the conduct for granted? Should I man, bent down as though all which
above the fireplace.. botter the chooser, abate my critical rigours? Now the cares of the world rested on
"Nearly 12 o'clock," he muttered to that he does not wish complete beggar, the suspension of business activities the bigger the bounty, one might tell me that the sexes are essen- his shoulders, His long white beard glistening with hoar frost on the day of his lamented say. No, we do not seriously com-tially the same!
They father's burial, due to the plain about these people.
are intellectuals. The beggar to widespread hardship and loss which such a procedure would whom we object is of the weeping male variety-full grown and entail. It is His Majesty's wish
husky, more than often, who that his subjects should mark
generally appears on holidays or the solemnity of the occasion in festive occasiona from Heaven- such manner as each may think knows-where. And there Is appropriate, according to the another particularly objectionable circumstances in which he is type who sends small, grubby placed, well knowing, as he does, children to do the work while he that the late King will be con- collects the profits. One such re- stantly in the thoughts of his cently despatched a dirty, ragged people throughout the day. It boy of fourteen or fifteen years of will be a sad and impressive age, who pestered a lady with a ceremony, in St. George's Chapel sleeve, and when she shook off his baby-carriage. He plucked at her at Windsor; to-day, with the re-hand with some Indignation, he mains of the late King conveyed struck her, and ran. He did not to their last resting-place on the
run far; just around, a corner. same gun-carriage which was And there the lady found him used at the funerals of his re-presently in conversation with a vered grand-mother and father, man who slunk away at her ap- there to lie in the silent company proach. These are the people, aly of many Kings and Queens, in- and full of deceit, whom we should 'end, of in this cluding four predecessors on the like to make an Throne King George III, King Colony. But the little, clover chaps George IV, King William IV, who juggle or turn hand-springs, and King Edward VII-and his and the little girls who sell flowers, you something for your own mother, Queen Alexandra. offer Thus will be solemnised the last money and in all probability are sympathy-even deserving of act in the sad and sorrowful though they may
support their circumstance which has plunged olders with an unearned Increment. the whole Empire into very ren) | = grief at the loss of a King whose words of the moving tribute paid memory will long live, in the a few days ago by the Prime minds of his subjects. Here in Minister, never considered his this Colony, so far removed from own case or leisure, and whose the Homeland, we shall pause sense of duty to his people awhile with sorrow in our hearts, amounted to genius. Roquiescat thinking of one who, to use the in pacel
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Edward VIII. Whilst the cus-
give him a bad notice.
CHANGING THE GUARD
SIDE GLANCES.
By George Clark
"I'm so sorry.. Mrs. Lamb. I wouldn't have had this happen for the world,"
himself. "The old fellow bus leng to go now. Rest his bones."
As he turned again to his scythe a small voice struck his cars,
"I've come to take over, sir." "Oh, you have, have you? And who might you be, my boy inquired
the old man from the little follow who had emerged from out of the point of his scythe
"I'm 1030," replied the new arrival meckly.
Oh, of course, to be sure," said the old man paternally, "I've been expecting you any moment. There's no time to lose. We'd better be sie-
ing to things.".
Turning to the wall facing the fire. place, the old man indicated the shelves of books with a wave of his whetstone.
These be the records of 1935 in the top row, my boy."
"You mean all those big ones," in- quired the little fallow, Impressed by the fat tomes which weighed heavily on the shelf. "And what of the little thin one aqueezed in at the end?" he added.
"Well, it's this way," replied the old man fh a tired voico. "These big ones be fall of the Good Resolutions of individuals and nations; of detalls of International Conferences on Din- armament and Peace, and all these things, and the little thin one at the end, taking it down and turning over Its dozen or so pages, "is a complete, record of what has been done."
"I was half afraid of that," com- mented the youngster, strotching him- Bell to his full height. "And this is the mess I am left to clear up. Well, I'm full of beans. I'll let them see. They certainly have been a poor bunch. these last few years, dad." "But, I wouldn't say.. the old man, raising a warning On- ger....
"began
"Never mind 'buts' just now. Tell. me, what are they saying about me before I got going. I mean the poli- ticians, and all those other would-be prophets."
"Oh, they are convinced that you are going,
to do great things,, and
that
"Well, that's something to be going? on with," interrupted the little fellow, (Continuod on Page 7.)
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