THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, TUESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1985,
DEWAR'S
"White Label"
WHISKY
White Labe BEST SCOTCH WHI Ken Dewar & So
DE CREAT ALL
GINTILEZNI
PERT
Sole Agents:-
A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD.
"PATTERSON"
ALL WAVE RECEIVERS
for
1936
THE SET WHICH SELLS BY RESULTS.
Free demonstrations of, these highly efficient sets arranged at any time to suit your own convenience.
すぐれ
S. MOUTRIE & CO., LTD
York Building.
Chater Road:
LANE CRAWFORD'S
GREAT
SALE
ENDS ON SATURDAY, 18th JANUARY
FINAL
REDUCTIONS
IN
FURNISHING FABRICS
CRETONNES. REPPS, ARTIFICIAL SILKS.
POPLINS, ETC.
30%
from Per yd.
-ART SILK CUSHIONS..
SPECIAL OFFER öf—
$2.00 ea.
"SLUMBERLAND" Inner Spring Mattresses Reduced from $110 to $69 ea.
FURNISHING DEPT.
HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE
CAR HIRE SERVICE
For Hongkong:
Phone 24758, 27778, 27779. For Kowloon:
Phone 58081.
Four-Passongor cars:
Defy the Foul Fiend!
FOR
He tells me we have lost our sea power and our air power.
I am sick of the fellow; and in order to get rid of him I have adopted the device of the Vienr of Wakefleld;—— ***
"I was, by nature," says the good vicar, "an admirer of Homy-human faces. However when any of our relations was found to be a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house Lover took care to lend him a riding-
CURE FOR
COLD FEET
by JAMES DOUGLAS
If you are in a black mood like mine I advise you to get a brave woman to make a man of you.
It is certain that fear makes cowards and that our worst. fears are never fuldkod.
Even-great-men-suffer-from- cold feet. Here are a samples of this disease which I cull from a whisky advertise- ment.
few
In 1848 Lord Shaftesbury said: "Nothing can save the British Empire from ship- .wreck."
*
In 1819. Disraeli said: "In in- dustry, commerce, and agricul-
ture there is no hope."
In the earliest years of the nineteenth century Wilberforce
said: "I dare not marry the
future is so unsettled."
William Pitt'said: "There is
scarcely anything round us but
some days I have been trying to get rid of an unwelcome guest who has done his best to destroy my peace of mind by his gloom, his melancholy, and his pro- $3.00 per hour, running rato.phecies of woe. He sees no $1.50
waiting rate.good in anything or in any Six-Passenger cars:
body. He has lost all faith in himself and everybody else.
He has infected me with his pessimism. He is an artist in of finding he never came back Next morning her War Loan la gathering about us."
Queen Adelaide said: "I have despair. He groans and moans to return it. By this the house rose a point, and she was more over the impending ruin of the was cleared of such as we did not obstinate than ever. "If Old only one desire to play the British Empire. He weeps over like."
England gous down," she said, part of Marie Antoinette with the decline and fall of his un-
lent my gloomy' guest every- "everything will go down with bravery in the revolution that is fortunate country.
thing I could spare. But he her. I'm not afraid of any coming in England." always came back. In despera. nation on earth,”
If we could make an antho-
$5.00 per hour, running rate. waiting rate.
$2.50
Open and Closed cars with liveried chauffeurs always available. Prompt and reliable
service.
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
TUESDAY, JAN. 14, 1936.
AFTER THE NAVAL
CONFERENCE
The London Naval Conference, which at no time looked like
*
*
*
Ho assures me that nothing can save us from destruction. We are a dying nation; if we are not already dead. Ife digs our. grave deeper every day.
I have never known anybody with so many fears. He manu- factures new terrors at every meal. He follows me about with tales of catastrophe and calamity.
He is sure that every nation is stronger than we are, and that all our friends are betraying us.
He shivers with fright at every possible bogey and every imagin- able spectre.
ruin and despair."
In 1851 the dying Duke of
coat, or a pair of boots, or some won't hoard." He could not Wellington said: "I thank God times an horse of small value, move her an inch from her faith I shall be spared from seeing and I always had the satisfaction in Old England,
the consummation of ruin that
that fears
tion I gave him all my money. The miserable reptile fled logy of despair we should find Although I bankrupted myself from the house and never came
are nearly always dogged my footsteps every day. he turned up every morning and back. You may be curious to falsified, and hopes are nearly
know the name of the man with always fulfilled, cold feet. Who was he? I am the man with cold feet, and I Hopes may sometimes be to my wife. He tried to per- am abjectly ashamed of myself. dupes, but as a rule fears are suade her to sell all her War
*
*
*
Then he turned his attention
*
1
*
This is not a fable. It is a liars. When I look back on my Loan before the inevitable crash true story. I tell it for the bene life I see that nearly td my in gilt-edged securities.
fit of every man- with cold feet. forebodings were imaginary. She was rude to him. But he I am completely cured of my The life of a nation is only the warned her to flee from the lack of faith in Old England. wrath to come. to tell her what she would do She asked him
with her money.
it in your stocking.""
"Hoard it!" he moaned.
*
life of a man on a larger scale."
It is therefore foolish to vex ourselves with fictitious miseries.
I have resolved to be cheerful The worst never happens. It is "Put and to banish fear from my our duty to believe that the right imagination. I vow that I will will triumph and that the wrong But my wife consulted
her never again dread the day I will be vanquished, bank "manager. She also con- never saw and never.shall see.
Above all, it is our duty to Įsulted several wise men. They You may despise me for my believe in the greatness, the all advised her to stick to her fit of despair, but you cannot strength, and the might of Eng- despise me more than I despise land. She has proved her power myself. You may laugh at my and her fortitude in the past. She defied the foul fiend. "I pessimism, but you cannot laugh. She is to-day what she has believe in Old England!" she at me more heartily than I am always been, unconquered and said. "I won't sell out and I now laughing at myself.
unconquerable.
achieving a general agreement, NOTES OF THE DAY War Loan.
seems to be doumed to failure in its main objective. Respon- ROOSEVELT'S MISDEAL sibility for the collapse will lie It was known as the New Deal with Japan by reason of her in-at the outset, the ambitious re-i sistence on а common upper covery legislation which President limit to the tonnage of the five Roosevelt Instituted, but since the leading mavies of the world. blows to the Government's plans Nearly fourteen years have sustained in the Supreme Court's the constitu- elapsed since the Washington decision against
tionality of the National Naval Conference brought about
Recovery Act and the Ag- the first important voluntary ricultural Adjustment Adminla- agreement for the limitation and
tration, one commences to think reduction of armaments. The that it was more a misdeal than Washington Treaty of 1922 was anything else. And the end is not supplemented by the London yet. Processing taxes generally Naval Treaty of 1930, for fur-will probably be ruled illegal by ther limitation and reduction, the Supreme Court and the Ten- and both treaties provided for nessee. Valley Administration's the holding of a conference this doom may be sealed by the same year. During the past two court-the judgment was expected
Ce
4
*
.*
"ANGEL'S SMACK” HAS A REAL "KICK"
"Uncle Eddic” Throws a Party: Invents a New Cocktail!
We never did care much for cocktail parties, we're all the time looking for a place to put the olive-stones. You can't park them under the table like chewing-gum. Cherries are easy; they just go down whole with the drink, toothpick, and
all.
Just recently we flung a party for Arburthnot, in celebra- tion of his reaching the age of discretion. Having reached the age of 95, he found that his financial resources were so limited that discretion looked the best shot on the table..
ful of curry, our wrist-watch-(This was unintentional, but we may tell you that after we had flabed it out It has been gaining an hour overy five minutes, and when we go to put it on it walks away from ur)-and xome stalo boer and boot polish and vermouth. Fronch vormouth and Italian vermouth.
Wo weren't game to put in any Abyssinian vermouth. Anyhow, 300- ing that both the French and the Italian vermouth were-made in Eng- land, it didn't matter much,
rotten hat Mrs. Stogers and wand
Atreet
All the guests said it was a jumble sale in aid of tho
sleepers you know. -Our grandfather came forward Then when the gun went they fell
with
SIDE GLANCES By George Clark
1
tened to pull the plugs out of the wash basin so we let him go.
ས
.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. "I wish to thank you all for coming here and burning holes in the furniture and eating us out of house and home. As you all know, have now reached the age of discretion, when I have to live on charcoal bisculta and sterilised dill water, like John D. Rockefeller. It has taken me years and years to reach this happy state and.. bo
love mo, the happleat times of my lilo were spent in acquiring my present nervons debility. gout, dyspepsia, and various duodenal ulcers."
When the guests arrived they all hung about like people do at cocktail parties, talking about the Gaiety girls, and books and pictures "and what years, the Governments of the yesterday but is not to hand at the WE made the cocktails in the biscuit is suitable for framing, and
how Miss Flethers, who was always wash basin, and we had only a vandal would eat it. We wonder few cases of whisky for the tee-posed of hard-boiled egg and sand-maker, usually got hor frocks at the But we invented a savoury com. talking about quarrels with her dress- five Powers concerned-Britain, time of writing.. the United States; Japan, France where President Roosevelt is going totallers,
Boup. to go for funds to pay farmers Ever tasted and Italy-have been engaged in
Angel's ow subsidies for the crops they do not Smack? We can mix an Angel's preliminary conversations aimed
a suggestion for a biscuit upon our savouries and we were kept grow, and where he will find the Smack, a Horse's Neck, a Side
soaked in bromide, with an aspirin busy dashing backwardsa and for at achieving some common mea several blilions for Veterans' lear, or a Viper's Breath just like. tablet embedded in it. This was wards to the wash basin and ladling sure of agreement. These talks bonuses, which, according to well-mother used to makę. Good
one of the few sensible sugges out cocktails. Fortunately, we ras Lions he made during my preparn- short of olives and had to use nut- have not been 'very successful, informed authorities, are almost stuff, too. You can get happy tions for the party.
megs, which seemed to slow them, up while recent political develop-| certain to be approved. It is washing up the glasses.
Have you over papsed in your mad a bit. There are no stones in nut- thought ments have not been conducive altogether likely that Congress will We had a lot of trouble with the rush to the sideboard and considered megs, by the way. Just
savouries, or horse devours, as the what a lot of work has gone into the we'd tell you.
call them. The to pacific developments. The be disposed to consider the bonus French
of average making
Then Arburthnot mndo a speech. those cocktails and you're sympathetically with a hostess' idea of a savoury is to butter savouries
We tried to stop him, but he threa wolfing liko present discontents in both the measure Mediterrancan and the Far East presidential election just around biscuit and plonk a bean on top of famishext greyhound? We spent hours it. Some, we'll admit, make such an at those wash basins pouring in this the corner. Then, too, the Ad-artistic mess of gherkina, anchovies, and that a bit of gin, a dash of have not inclined the Govern-ministration wants the farmers chillis, and cheese that the whole bitters, a bucket of absinthe, a band- ments directly involved to listen vote, and will move heaven and quite objectively to proposals for earth to secure the necessary funds naval restrictions, The Confer- the Administration fa basing its to pay for it. It is believed that
cnee Itself has shown that Japan | latest project for the control of considers parity essential to crop production upon the assump national dignity, much as the tion that it will continue to collect processing taxes. But what if the German Government did Bankhead Act is ruled illegal? though it must not be overlooked What if processing taxes have to that Germany has accepted in them? And what of the promise back to the people who paid the naval sphere a ratio with of the President that no new taxa- Britain which gives her much tion was contemplated for 19367 less than parity. What Japan Yes, we think it can be safely said that there has been a very com has been aiming at is to get plete misdeal. Some will demand Britain and the United States to a thorough shuffle. scale down their navies to her level. Clearly, in view of the Treaty and failure to replace it worldwide responsibilities of the with a new agreement must in- British Fiest; and of America's evitably mean a strengthening geographical position, this can- of the Colony's security. The not be done, The effect would worst feature of a breakdown of-- be to give Japan complete do the Conference will be the ex- minance in the Far East, where posing of the world to the dan the large British interests would
ger of unrestricted competition be held on sufferance. Japan, in naval armaments, with possi- with equality, would be able to bly calamitous effects on the bring twice the naval strength temper of the peoples of the to bear at any danger point in world and on international re- the Far East-than Britain could lations. But the bright spot in at a given moment. She would, the situation is that there must moreover, be able to have a re-result from Jepan's policy of latively, free hand in pursuance isolation a closer relationship be of her known ambitions in this
tween Britain and the United part of the globe. Hongkong States, with the promise of comes into the picture, since the valuable results in this part of lapsing of the Washington
the globe.
"Woll, I missed it again. • Hand me that bronkinst,
The guests then pushed him off the plano and locked him in the bathroom. Following which, one of our guests asked us what the devil we were do- ing hanging about the place, and why wasn't there any music or something, and we got thrown back into the kitchen and told to make mero cook! tails.
So we put four gallons of prussio acid in the mixture and served it out. They all haid it was great, and asked for more. That's what cocktail drinking does to your system. Either you succumb after the first fow weeks, or you become immune and un poluoîmbie, *****
--Any of you girls who have a sceret yearning for the bright lights had better be warned against cocktail parties. Many an furio cent girl has learned to how.gum at a cocktail party, to the utter horror of her parents, who have hurled her out into the snow to battle through Ufe alone and unaided without a soul to care whether she lived or died, and Anished up. In a qualid tenement scantily clad in Bithy rags and dying neglected with a bag of cocaine clutched in her hand.
There, there now! We've made you cry! Uncle didn't mean. It as bad as that. He just wants you lo be warned, that's all If any dark! and handsome stranger Approaches you and offers you a cocktali, spurn him.
Suck to rum.