THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, TUESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1985.
DEWAR'S
"White Label"
WHISKY
Sole. Agents:-
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at Scotch Whi
jin Dewar & So
PERT
OF GRENT AGE
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for
1936
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Free demonstrations of these highly efficient sets arranged at any time to suit your own convenience.
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York Building.
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ENDS ON SATURDAY, 18th JANUARY
FINAL
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IN
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CRETONNES, REPPS, ARTIFICIAL-SILKS. POPLINS, ETC.
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"SLUMBERLAND" Inner Spring Mattresses Reduced from $110 to $69. ea.
FURNISHING DEPT.
HONGKONG HOTEL GARÄGE
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For Hongkong:
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For Kowloon:
Phone 58081.
Four-Passenger.cars:
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waiting rate. Six-Passongor cars:
$5.00 per hour, running rate. waiting rate.
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Open and Closed cars with liveried chauffeurs always available. Prompt and reliable service.
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
TUESDAY, JAN. 14, 1936,
AFTER THE NAVAL
CONFERENCE
The London Naval Conference, which at no time looked like
Defy the Foul Fiend!
FOR some days I have been
trying to get rid of an unwelcome guest who has done his best to destroy my peace of mind by his gloom, his melancholy, and his pro- phecies of woe. He sees no good in anything or in any body. He has lost all faith in himself and everybody else.
He has infected me with his pessimism. He is an artist in despair. He groans and moans over the impending ruin of the British Empire. He weeps over the decline and fall of his un- fortunate country.
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He assures me that nothing can save us from destruction. We are a dying nation; if we are not already dead. He digs our grave deeper every day.
I have never known anybody with so many fears. He manu- factures new terrors at every meal. He follows me about with tales of catastrophe and calamity.
He is sure that every nation is stronger than we are, and that all our friends are betraying us.
The shivers with fright at every
possible bogey and every imagin- able spectre.
Ile tells me we have lost our sea power and our air power.
I am sick of the fellow, and in order to get rid of him I have adopted the device of the Vicar of Wakefleld:---
"I was by nature," says the good vicar, "an admirer of happy human faces. However, when any of our relations was found to be a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house I evor took care to lend him a riding-
CURE
FOR
COLD FEET
by JAMES DOUGLAS
If you are in a black mood like mine I advise you to get a brave woman to make a man of you.
It is certain that fear makes cowards and that our worst- fears are never fulfilled.
Even great men suffer from cold feet. Here Arc ♫ few samples of this disease which I eull from a whisky advertise- ment.
In 1848 Lord" Shaftesbury said: "Nothing can save the British Empire from ship- wreck."
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樂
In 1849 Disraeli said: "In in- dustry, commerce, and agricul- ture there is no hope."
In the earliest years of the. nineteenth century Wilberforce.
said: "I dare not marry, the
futuré is so unsettled."
William Pitt said: "There is
scarcely anything round us but
ruin and despair.” -
In 1851 the dying Duke of
He could not Wellington said: "I,thank God
cout, or a pair of boots, or some. won't hourd." times an horse. small value, move her an inch from her faith and I always had the satisfaction in Old England.
I shall be spared from scoing
the consummation of ruin that
le gathering about us."
of finding he never came back Next morning her War Loan
Queen Adelaide said: "I have to return it. By this the house rose a point, and she was more
désire to play the was cleared of such as we did not obstinate than ever. "If Old only one like."
England goes down," she said, part of Marie Antoinette with I lent my gloomy guest every- "everything will go down with bravery in the revolution that is thing I could spare. But he her. I'm not afraid of any coming in England.” .
If we could make an autho-" always came back. In despera- nation on earth."
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tion I gave him all my money. The miserable reptile fled logy of despair we should And that fears, are nearly always Although I bankrupted myself from the house and never came he turned up every morning and back. You may be curious to falsified, and hopes are nearly dogged my footsteps every day.
know the name of the man with always fulfilled. cold feet. Who was he? I um Then he turned his attention the man with cold feet, and I Hopes may sometimes be to my wife. He tried to per- am abjectly ashamed of myself. dupes, but as a rule fears are suade her to sell all her War This is not a fable. It is a liars. When I look back on my Loan before the inevitable crash true story. I tell it for the bone- life I see that nearly all my in gilt-edged securities.
were imaginary. fit of every man with cold feet. forebodings She was rude to him. But he warned her to flee from the lack of faith in Old England.
I am completely cured of my The life of a nation is only the
life of a man on a larger scalo. wrath to come. She asked him to tell her what she would do
It is therefore foolish to vex with her money.
ourselves with fictitious miseries.
it
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He
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I have resolved to be cheerful The worst never happens. It is in your stocking.". "Hoard it!" he moaned. "Put and to banish fear from my our duty to believe that the right imagination. I vow that I will will triumph and that the wrong But my wife consulted her never again dread the day I will be vanquished. bank manager. She also con- never saw and never shall see. Above all, it is our duty to sulted several wise men. They You may despise me for my believe in the greatness, the all advised her to stick to her fit of despair, but you cannot strength, and the might of Eng- despise me more than I despise land." She has proved her power myself. You may laugh at my and her fortitude in the past. She defied the foul flend. "I pessimism, but you cannot laugh She is to-day what she
has believe in Old England !" she at me more heartily than I am always been, unconquered and said. “I won't sell out and I now laughing at myself.
unconquerable.
achieving a general agreement, NOTES OF THE DAY War Loan.
five Powers concerned-Britain, the United States, Japan, France and Italy-have been engaged in preliminary conversations aimed
ROOSEVELT'S MISDEAL
covery legislation which President Roosevelt instituted, but since the blows to the Government's, plans | sustained in the Supreme Court's decision against
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ANGEL'S SMACK” HAS A REAL "KICK”
the constita Uncle Eddic" Throws a Party:
commences
time of writing.
Invents a New Cocktail!
We never did care much for cocktail parties, we're all the time looking for a place to put the olive-stones. You can't park them under the table like chewing-gum. Cherries are easy; they just go down whole with the drink, toothpick, and all,
Just recently we flung a party for Arburthnot, in celebra- tion of his reaching the age of discretion. Having reached the age of 95, he found that his financial resources were so limited that discretion looked the best shot on the table
Angel's wow.
with
fal of curry, our wrist-watch-(This was unintentional, but we may tell you that after we had fished. It out it, has been gaining an hour every five minutes, and when we go to put it on it walks away from us)- some stale beer and boot polish and vermouth, French vermouth and Italian vermouth,
We weren't game to put in roy Abyssinian vermouth. Anyhow, see ing that both the French and the Italian vermouth were made in Enc. land, it didn't matter much,
When the guests arrived they all hung about like 'people de cocktail parties, talking about the Gaiety girls, and books and pictures
rotten hat Mrs. Stogers and what a
street
how Miss Flethers, who was always WE made the cocktails in the biscuit is suitable for framing, and
wash basin, and we had a only a vandal would eat it. few cases of whisky for the tee-posed of hard-boiled egg and sand-maker, usually got her frocks at the But we invented a savoury enm-talking about quarrels with her dress- soup. All the guests said it was a jumble sale in nid of the
Fleepers you know. Our grandfather came forward Then when the gun went they fell a suggestion for a biscuit upon our gavouries and we were kept Hanked in hramide, with an aspirin busy dashing backwards and for- tablet embedded in it. This was wards to the wash basin and Indling one of the few sensible sugges-out cocktails. Fortunately, tions he made during my preparn.short of olives and had to use nut- lion for the party.
megs, which seemed to slow them un There are no stones in nut- Have you ever paused in your, mada bit.
call them. The
and
4
we ran
seems to be doomed to failure in its main objective. Respon- sibility for the collapse will lic
It was known as the New Deal with Japan by reason of her in-at the outset, the ambitious re- sistence on 11 common upper limit to the tonnage of the five leading mavies of the world. Nearly fourteen years have elapsed since the Washington
tionality of the National Naval Conference brought about
Recovery Aet and the Ag- the first important voluntary
ricultural Adjustment Adminis agreement for the limitalion and
tration, one
to think The reduction of armaments.
that it was more a misdeal than Washington Treaty of 1922 was anything else. And the end is not supplemented by the London yet. Processing taxes generally Naval Treaty of 1930, for fure will probably be ruled legal by ther limitation and reduction, the Supreme Court and the Ten- and both treaties provided for | newee Valley Administration's the holding of a conference this doom may be sealed by the same year. During the past two court-the judgment was expected years, the Governments of the yesterday but is not to hand at the We wonder where President Roosevelt is going totallers. to go for funda to pay farmers Ever tasted An subsidies for the crops they do not Smack? We can mix an Angel's grow, and where he will find the Smack, a Horse's Neck, a Side- at achieving some common mea-several billions for Veterans' car, or a Viper's. Breath just like sure of agreement. These talks bonuses, which, according, to well-¡mother used to make. Good have not been very successful. informed authorities, are almost stuff, too. You can get happy while recent political develop certain. to be approved. It is washing up the glasses.
We had a lot of trouble with the rush to the sideboard and considered megs, by the way. Just thought ments have not been conducive altogether likely that Congress will
savouries, or horse devours, às the who
what a lot of work has gone into the we'd tell you.
cocktails average making of those 10 pacific developments, The be disposed to consider the bonus Front
Then Arburthnot made a speech. you're wolfing like We tried to stop him, but he threa present discontents in both the measure sympathetically with a hostess idea of a savoury is to butter savouries
abiscuit and plonk a bean on top of famished greyhound? We spent hours tened to pull the plugs out of the Mediterranean and the Far East presidential election just around it. Some, we'll admit, make such an at those wash basins pouring in this wash brain so we let him go.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. the corner. Then, too, the Ad artistic mess of gherkins, anchovies, and that a bit of ghi, a dash of have not inclined the Governministration wants the farmers' chills, and cheese that the whole bitters, a bucket of absinthe, a band-
"I wish to thank you all for coming here and burning bales in ments directly involved to listen vote, and will move heaven and
the furniture and eating us out of quite objectively to proposals for earth to secure the necessary funds
bouse and home. As you all know, to pay for it. It is believed that naval restrictions. The Confer- the Administration is basing ita
have now renched the age of discretion, when I have to live on ence itself has shown that Japan latest project for the control of
charcoal biscuits, and sterilised dill considers parity essential to crop production upon the assump-
water, like John D. Rockefeller. national dignity, much as the processing taxes. But what if the
It has taken me years and rears tion that it will continue to collect
to reach this happy stale and, be German Government did Bunkbend Act is ruled illegal?
lleve me, the happiest times of my life were spent in acquiring my though it must not be overlooked What if processing taxes have to
present nervous debility. that Germany has accepted in go back to the people who paid them? And what of the promise the naval sphere a ratio with of the President that no new taxa- Britain which gives her much tion was contemplated for 19367 less than parity. What Japan Yes, we think It can be safely said that there has been a very com- has been aiming at is to get plete misdeal. Some will demand Britain and the United States to a thorough shuffle. scale down their navics to her level. Clearly, in view of the Treaty and failure to replace it worldwide responsibilities of the with a new agreement must in- British Flect, and of America's evitably mean a strengthening geographical position, this can of the Colony's security. The not be done The effect would
-wossb-feature-of-a-limekdown of be to give Japan complete do- the Conference will be the ex- minance in the Far East, where posing of the world to the dan the large British interests would
ger of unrestricted competition be held on sufferance. Japan, in naval armaments, with possi- with equality, would be able to bly calamitous effects on the bring twice the naval strength temper of the peoples of the to bear at any danger point in world and on international re- the Far East than Britain could
Hlations-But-the bright spot-in- at a given moment. She would, the situation is that there must moreover, be able to have a re-result from Japan's policy of latively free hand in pursuance isolation a closer relationship be of her known ambitions in this tween Britain and the United part of the globe. Hongkong States, with the premise of comes into the picture, since the valuable results in this part of lapsing of the Washington the globe.
SIDE GLANCES By George Clark
"""Well, I missed it again. Hand me that breakfast,"
I
gout,
dyspepsia, and various duodenal ulcers."
The guests then pushed him off the plano and locked him in the bathroom. Following which, one of our guests asked us what the devil we were do- ing hanging about the place, ned why wasn't there any music or something and we got thrown back into the kitchen and told to make mere cock- tails.
So we put four gallons of prussic acid in the mixture and sorved it out. They all said it was great, and asked for more. That's what cocktail drinking does to your system. Either, 1. succumb after first fory wpkorvair becommune and poisonable.
You
Any of you girls who have a Necret yearning for the bright lights had better be warned against cocktail parties, Many an inno cent girl has learned to chew gum at a cocktail party, to the utter horror of her parents, who have hurled her out into the snow to battle through life alone
and unaided without a soul to care whether alte lived, or died, and Anished up In a squalid tenement xcentily clad in filthy rags and dring neglected with a bag of cocaine clutched in her hand.
There, there, now! We're made you cry! Uncle didn't mean it as bad as that. He just wants you to. be warned, that's, ull. If any dark and handsome stranger approaches. you and offers you a cocktail, spurn. him.---
Stick to rum.
A