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THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 1934.
NOTES OF THE DAY THE LITERARY BURGLAR The Very Idea!
MAKING UP LEEWAY
In accordance with expecta
In
By ROBERT LYND
tions. Britain's Navy Estimates TR. Guedalla complained the 1'aummoned my comrade Hoskins,.
M
WE PLEAD SPRING 'FEVER
By Eddio Kelly, Warm Daxe
Around about this time of the month our articles are in- clined to get a bit like our. Belfort.
Besides, someone, bitten by the Spring fever we men-^- tloned yesterday, had taken up half our column with a poom.
call for a considerable increaso
other day of the disappear who, thinking I had received an expenditure. Whatever hopea the
of an ance of phrase-making, in recent invitation to tea, sallied lithely Government may have
forth, but, on observing my post- times. eventual disarmament agreement
tion, his countenance registered Certainly the politicians, whom intense consternation and pro- boing reached, it is clearly folt that there has been quite enough cutting down for the time being. Mr. Guedalla had chiefly in mind, found deprecation. When I offer- Britain has certainly done her
are poor enough hands at coining fair share in thia direction. A sentences, but, if he had pursued ad him an orange it was accepted goodly part of the increased sum
his investigations among some of with marked reluctance. needed is due to retardation in
One gathers that the house- the humbler sections of society, I past construction during the
Under the now pro- think, he would have found that breaker had no purpose beyond. years. gramme, of course, Britain will English prose still flourishes as borrowing some food from the Speaking of Spring reminds us still be well within Treaty limits, statellly as in the days of Dr. family that had departed in search that an enterprising local insur- Next year, however, will be a vital
search of the larder he found photograph of a child from a one for all the big Powers, for Johnson, Gibbon, and Mr. Micaw of pleasure.. But when he went in ance company recently clipped a that "the apartment in which that local morning contemporary, and the future af naval construction ber will again be under international
worthy closet is usually situated" attacking it to a letter, suggested
sounds consideration. It remains to bo
was, "according to the seen whether there will be any fresh yard-stick agreement, or whether the Conference will be faced with a altuation in which one or more nations refuse to he bound further.
PLANES V. CRUISERS
Mr. Micawber never showed a more consummate mastery of the pomp of language
than the emanating from it, occupied by that the mother should insure her house-breaker who was sentenced several capable "members of the daughter.
This seems to be a great idea, to two years hard labour at the canino persuasion." Surrey Quarter Sessions the other
my In the near future we shall pro Being anxious to "retain day,
nether extremities in a state of bably be receiving letters like The house-breaker had careful-preservation," he withdrew from this: ly prepared a written statement to the apartment in question" and,
Dear Sir,-Enclosed is a photo of read in court, and the opening acting on a sudden impulse for, Britain now plans to spend sentence, with its Defoe-like de- the second time, went upstairs a pair of your trousers hanging on suggest to you that the two holes nearly a quarter of a million ster-tail and its feeling for the eloquent and "purloined" certain articles your clothes line. May we discreetly ling more than the year before on word, is one that any best-selling of jewellery.
carried off the at the rear of them are not in keep- They then the Fleet air arm, but in some novelist might envy.
dix- quarters there will be a
"About 8 o'clock in the morning jewellery to a feld, where they ing with what the `woll-dressed man
not of today should wear? position to doubt whether this of Friday, January 12, 1934," the "examined the spoil," and, expansion is by any means sumie statement began, a casual or knowing what to do with it,
118 Mr. lent. It may be true,
sorver would have discerned my "interred it in Mother Earth." recently comrade Hoskins and myself Neville Chamberinin
Old-fashioned writers of tracts nasorted, that aeroplanes are no
emerging from the stately portals would have described how the two substitutes for cruisers, but there of the Epsom Pour Law Institu-worthies tossed in their sleep that are numerous angles to this question."
of tion, and the varying schools
cling thought are disposed to tenaciously to their own ideas. One point which suggests itself is that in time of war the suc
cessful convoying of shipping might woll be offact by hostile aerial attack near its destination.
CRUISER DESIGN
•
REAL LUXURY
now
of
samu
May we take this opportunity of offering you our "Special Trousers Bargain," price $22.50. A coat and waistcoat made from the material will be given free. Yours in anticipation, Clothem and Co.
Or perhaps, this:-
Dear Madam,-We have taken the
night, tortured by the nightmares How clearly the picture of the of a bad conscience. It was not emergence of these morning ad their consciences that interfered venturers is brought before us! with their sleep, however. The And how the phrasing prepares us bad night they endured was duc for astonishing events to follow! simply to the fact that at the liberty of photographing your hot. casual ward to which they turned We are enclosing the photo and dek Had the day been fine, the two in, the entire stock of mattresses you, as one woman to another, "is friends would apparently have was "already supporting the por-your hat chio"! been in favour of accking work; sons of wayfarers."
We feel sure that you, being a fair- but as the victim of fate put it:
Micawber himself could not minded woman, must admit that it is "The rainy condition of the day In question being unfavourable have described the experiences of net. We also enclose a photo of our sure will immediately captivate your verge of a financial crisis, our cir- this simple house-breaker. for our vocation, and being on the the night in lordlier language than lateat creation in hats, which too fool cumstances
rolegated to
fancy. Youre truly, Marie et Cie. those of mendicańcy."
were
If they were mendicants, how
'Gratitude beams ever, they were hot ungrateful mendicants. from the sentence in which the lunch given to them by a generous magistrate is immortalised.
"We disposed ourselves," he relates, as best we could upon the floor, and spent a third-rate being both brief and sporadic." night, the visitations of Morpheus
Woodman, Spare That' Treo !
Although Government has changed Its mind about those Kowloon trees,
confess that, if I had been on the jury, I should have found it we understand that the matter is not difficult to join in a verdict of finished with yet. No, Sir. Several "No event of consequence oc guilty against such a musician of indignation meetings will be held curred between Epsom Town and the English tongue-a man who during the latter end of this month. we are told, "except can make a cliche sbine like a new For instance, the K.R.A. is on the that we called at the domain of a penny. His prose would have war-path, and now the K.D.A. has Redhill,"
pence been sufficient defence, and, be been formed to look after the in- venerated justice, of the and, having acquainted him with sides, who could have helped being rests of canines on the mainland. the degree of our adversity, were moved by the deadly pointedness promptly regaled with shepherd's with which he quoted. Dr. John- pie of comely proportions."
son,
now
All these humiliations, however, wo Dr. Johnson's speech have borne with fortitudo. But this
With naval matters so much to WAR DEBT RUMOURS
the fore at the moment, more than Amongst the numerous sug-ordinary interest attaches to the Information authoritative first questions which have been put which has been made public re
the forward for a settlement of thegarding the design of war debts question none can Leander class of cruiser. In the surely have been more fantastic new issue of "Brassey's Naval Annual Mr. J. A. Narbeth, late than that Britain should cede Aasistant Director of Naval Con- certain Empire territories to the struction, compares the qualities United States to offset the sum of the Birmingham Class, which cost £360,000, with Leanders cont which she is still owing. Suff-ing £1,628,000 (excluding tho cient notice, has, however, been guns). He points out that the taken of the matter to warrant increase of 2,000 tons has been
accompanied by an increase its being raised in the House of seven. knots in speed and of about Commons, with the result that £1,250,000 in cost. while the arms-
In a communication to Edward the Prime Minister has given the ment has been reduced by onn 6-
Inch gun."
Kelly, the Secretary of the only possible answer to his ques- |--
Alas, shepherd's pie even of the To read this passage is to read, Association, Mr. F.O.X. ("Torry"} tioners namely that under no ALL THE LATEST
comeliest proportions brings only not only an extenuation of a crime, Terrier, say
realising Sir, My Association, circumstances can there be any
These facts are attributed to an
temporary alleviation of the but an indictment to society! question of such an arrange increase of approximately 1,000 pangs of hunger; and later in the
"I can'only conclude, by way of that you have led a dog's life during ment. This story undoubtedly-per-cent-in specialist office day the two friends, becoming
yet to you for assistance in our-forth... arises out of reports which have accommodation; to the enormous hungry again, decided to knock at mild-extenuation of my nefarious your residence in Hoogkong. appeals
wireless equipment which makes the door of another domain in the conduct, by the hackneyed been current latterly that nego of the Leander "a veritable hope of finding a second bene- novertheless truthful observation coming campaign against the Govern-
to the tiations were under way between Broadcasting House";
factor as princely as the yenerated of the great Dr. Samuel Johnson: ment.
Poverty is the great enemy of
The Members of my Association Increase of en-justice of the peace.
human happiness; it certainly cur- the United States, Britain and extraordinary France, looking to the cession by closed spaces on the mess decks
canteens,
Luck was against them, how- tails liberty, renders some virtues have stood for a great deal from which include
soda-
impracticable and others extreme- the Government during the past five years. The freedom of the road has the two last-named Powers of fountain bars, reading rooms, ever. The householder was out.
"Receiving no answer to myly dimeult."
been denied to us, and when we pro- certain South Sen islands which bookstalls, and recreation rooms,
It is true, that Dr. Johnson him. might be used as aerial and naval Women would enjoy reading Mr. summons," the house-breaker do- mar- clares, "I assumed that the pro- Narbeth's account of the bases in the event of war break- vellous
cooking arrangements, prietors had departed in search of self was poor, and yet, so far as tested, we wore muzzled. We have impulacs to force the windows of necessary for us to obtain a licenco ing out in the Pacific. Accord- mincing machines, potato peelers, pleasure, and, acting on a sudden we know, never acted on Budden been condemned to chains. It is oven
empty houses: The house-breaker, in order to live, ing to these reports, the United electric toastors, and other items impulse, I forced a window."
He himself confesses that his it is to be fenred, modelled him- States had tentatively offered of labour-saving housewifery.
comrade looked aghast when he self on saw him standing cheerfully in rather than on his behaviour.
la the last straw. Our beautiful partial cancellation of war debts At
the window of the house.
May his cell be well stored with avenue of trees in Nathan Road 15, in return for such action.
The ship is provided with a the back of these suggestions, of
His description of the scene in books, Ink and paper, however! at the behest of the Government, to oll-fuel sufficiently enormous course, is the matter of pre- paredness by America for even-storage to enable her to steam masterly. "I then," he declares, He has earned them,
British strategical past avery tual war with Japan. It is this base in the world, avoiding them us though they were enemy bases. scare which has given rise to
The fighting qualities of the ship the rumours, as well as to many
are dismissed with a few lines. And it will readers others which are equally absurd, Indeed,
themselves The fact that the United States dificult to convince has not seen fit to deny the story that they are not considering tho
design and construction of has given it greater credence in small luxury liner rather than a some quarters than it deserves, British fighting, ship. Mr. Nar- up. his fascinating 16.50 ..
but it is to be presumed that both sumTIO Washington considers the whole chapter thus: "The production of Vessels of the Leander cloak on to call for 7,000 tons must therefore be re- matter too absurd refutation. So far as Britain is garded as a veritable triumph of concerned, the issue is now put naval architecture." beyond any doubt whatever, and it is quite as inconceivable that France, could be party to any such transaction. How these stories originate, it is difficult to any, but they are of a type which somehow leap into prominence whenever war scares are in the presents to explorers. That ha air. The danger ls that, fanci-zard arises from the fact that no fal as they may be, rumours of ship actually enn get very close this kind are apt to increase to the Antarctic continent itself A shlp suspicions and thus aggravate in that particular region. situations which are already cannot be moored in an actual firma. The tenac. It is far better, there- harbour; a base, camp cannot bo mainland must be approached fore, that they should be brought established on terra into the open and made the sub-across this vant ice barrier, and ject of official statements rather while the lee ordinarily is as gain stable as solid rock. It neverthe than be permitted to currency under circumstances loss is subject to all the changes which create a belief that they which a sheet of fee anywhere may possibly be true. Now that else might display. It is partly Mr. Ramsay MacDonald has been for this reason that Antarctic ex- so categorical in his denial, it is ploration, stilla, a dangerous and to be hoped that we have heard uncertain venture, In spite of the modern equipment and, elaborata the last of this story so far as organization of up-to-date expedi Britain is concerned...
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UNTAMED ICEFIELDS
12
Admiral Byrd's recent difficult- the disintegrating ice les with shelves at his projected landing spot in Antarctica's famous Bay spot of Whales emphasizes one of the peculiar hazards which that
"It's all right, follows, he's going to give me another
meet that payment
week
be wantonly destroyed. It is time that the people, of this Colony rose in protest
Odo to Hongkong Girls
Natty ones, chatty ones, balty ones. catty ones,
..
GIRLS!
Lazy ones, ruey ones, hazy ones. crazy once,
GIRLS!
Some like 'em buoyant and bubbling and talkative,
Some like 'em slinky and sleek and provocative,
Some like 'em docile and shy and retiring.
Some like 'em purposeful; sly and inspiring.
We find the lot of them dreadfully
tiring,
GIRLS!
Classy once, brassy oncuzkaszy ones,
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Crying ones, trying ones, prying Lones, lying ones, .
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giving
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dilving a hundred times more than tve oba to them
Giving our whole time from sunset to dawn to them,band
Playing the part of a tap and a Joke to them
Riso up, you mugs, it in time that we woke to them.
GIRLSL