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The
THURSDAY, AUGUST 24, 1933.
NOTES OF THE DAY
PATIENTS ON FERRIES
WHAT PULLS THE STRINGS?
By ROBERT BLATCHFORD
The Very Idea!
A FAIRY TALE Edited By Eddie Kelly
Reader, turn our backs upon
and Mrs. strength and agility are perform HONGKONG grown-ups
Let us, dear Mr.
garrulous and futile world and take
let us talk about ourselves.
Any
haven't enough men-
What do we mean when We counsel to edification. Let us, a song or poem has "thrilled" us? tality, to enjoy our Very It please you, consider a subject Put
into a different colloquial Idea column. So to-day we of perennial and universal appeal: form the saying explains itself.
Let us Inquire as to what we ing quality in a contraite voice, children..
Thus There is a strangely mov-are going to write for the are, whence we are and why we some of the rich, deep notes go are. Let us probe doop mysteries through us. There la the fact. of personality which would balls The thrill goes through us!" not the Crimes Club,
The Increasing und being mado of the vehicular ferry conforms to expectations. John is traditionally slow in employing time-saving dovices and in realising the ad- from vantages to be derived eliminating the junk and launch in cross-harbour business, but ones this stage has passed, he is all readiness for the new routlan, We mention this because Govern- ment seems to be even slower than John. Sick persons being trans- ported from Kowloon to hospitals on the island are still subjected to the unpleasant experience of ex-|" hibition on stretchers on the Star ferries, Neither in the interest of the patient nor of the public is this desirable. In some cases, it can be definitely detrimental. Ar one time, there was talk of the provialan of a special launch for this purpose and we suggest that If this project has been dropped; the alternative of using vehicular ferries for ambulances is a fairly obvious onn.
Q
THE CROWN AGENTS
body.
2
A
At least, we are not going to
Here, to begin with, is a question through the head, but through the write it ourself. We are going which would have kept the good
to allow Nathaniel Gubbins, No one ever felf a thrili in Major Cassel, the I.G.P., Robert Socrates happily busy throughout
the brata. The brain reasons: MacWhirter and a few summer's day if he hnd
other it does not feel, thought of it.
humorists into our column. Should I ask my old friend Colonel Chutney where he keeps man nature hotter than most ne
The poets, who understand hu-
We are sending Nath. Gubbins his mind he will anawer with aver accepted the brain as the sent
bottle of Hongkong, beer in. light heart: "Why, God bless you, of the emotions: they accounted in my head, of course," and flatter love and anger, joy and sorrow as exchange for his message to the himself on having me down for the phenomena of the liver or the children of Hongkong. Here lie count; but, as Rabelais tells us heart: things which are seemingly easy When Dr. Housmart says poc. in the pursuit may be in the cope tical inspiration arises in the pit and encounter somewhat difficult. of the stomach he is saying what DEAR BOYS AND, GIRLS, So in this instance: if the Colonelas i poet he tho
as some say, the brain is the mind, other than the brain. thinks the mind is in the head, or, (Inspiration comes from organs Dear old how does he account for the fellow Dan Leno said: "Promotion's in the cellarage?
like a black eye: you never know you've got it till you get it," and I would make a like claim for in- spiration.
By the fellow in the cellarage mean that mysterious other self who runs our physical machinery, for the brain has no part in re spiration, circulation, digestion or growth, and though it may curb our emotions, cannot inspire them.
vain. It
has himself felt.
When thara, ie "s Busan ip ka
Here I am at last!
So many excelled letters from boys and girls of all ages have reached me that I expect you will
all sick and trembly when you open your newspaper to Page Six this afternoon.
storica,
treat for my kiddid-
The August Crown Colonist is
heart of the prose" it is as though. more than normally interesting. commemorating as it does the
the fellow in the cellarage reach-
And what a wonderful children's centenary of the Crown Agents for
ed up and struck from the mental column it. Is! the Colonies. Remarkably little in
suppose it has happened to The funeral of Lady Shouson Chowknown about this institution by the most of us to have a name, or date of beauty. There is a striking, Instrument unlooked-for chords
Jolly Jokes, teasy-wensy tongue- will take place on Sunday, August mujority of Hongkong residents, appeal to our head in
or fuct escape our memory. We
This twisters, exeltey-witey indeed startling example of 27th, at 3.30 nm. felinep) at the Chinese Permanent Cemetery, despite the fact that it plays avails not to bent our brains, the About Nothing." Two commonplace parlour games.
Ado riddle-me-rces, and rompy-wompy sudden upush in Much highly important part in nearly all answer is not there. We abandonminor villains are talking as they lovely
Oo-ooh, what a developments of a Government the search, and in a few minutes, shelter under a penthouse from the widdies! nature. Its history and activities or hours, or days. when we are, for this reason, likely to repay are thinking of some other
rain. One mentions the fashion of
But before you read any further study and, perhaps, to cause a matter,. the errant
n doublet and a hat; the other word or revision of opinion among those Inet
makes a bald reply, and then sud-I want you all to promise, on your bobs up serenely, com. who are ready, without acquaint- ing apparently from nowhere, denly and apropos of nothing word of honour, that you will be- ance with the facts, to accept the The explanation is simple: The Borachio blurts out the most beauti- come a Mug Wump. criticisms often levelled by busi-fellow in the cellarage, or, as some thou not, I say, what a deformed ful lines in the whole play: "Seest ness men who would, for obvious more learned prefer to call him,, reasons, prefer Government orders "the subliminal consciousness," has thief this fashion is? how giddily pass through their hands. searched for and found what it turns about all the hot bloods There is, of course, a good deal
between fourteen and five-and- to be said for encouraging local
thirty? Sometimes fashioning firms as far as possible, particular-
them like Pharaoh's saldiers on the reechy painting, sometimes like God Bel's priests in the old church window, sometimes like the shaven Hercules in the smirched, worm- enten tapestry."
Hongkong Telegraph.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 24, 1933.
THE GERMAN PROBLEM
to
ly when times are hard, but we do
Is Germany rearming? The not imagine the Government will answer which competent obset up new precedents while the servers give is at once Yes and Agents remains at its present high service rendered by the Crown No. There is apparently as yet standard.
no open breach of the provisions
of the Treaty of Versailles.
None of the aggressive' arma- UNIQUE POSITION ments prohibited to Germany
who axes their salaries, regulates
brain mislaid.
But that is a trivial service.
There is more to our mystery than
that.
THE HOME OF INSPIRATION.
stomach.
The fact remains that human
Buy modern reader. beings like to know what's what. POETRY THAT - of The question is important and, WROTE ITSELF. The Governments to me at least, of vital interest,
The lines are not in keeping.
Uncle Nat and say "I swear that All you have to do is to write to
will be a tue blue British boy (or girl) Recording to Mug Wump lore," and get one of your little friends to sign as witness,
Boys and girls of any age up to eighty-five may join!
Your affectionate
TINCLE NAT.
ANSWER: Blotto.
•
Teasing Tongue Twisters, (JNCLE Nat Doth this shop
stock shot all shirts?
Dr. Housman, poet and scholar,, These lines well up like sudden is reported as saying that poetical music. They are a unique example Riddle-Me-Rec. Inspiration does not emanate from of picture writing, yet they seem; the brain, but from the pit of the as spontaneous ag 24 blackbird's MY, mouth is bigger than my head.
I toss and turn and groan in bed, song. They are what Pater called are being manufactured. This
That to many will seem fanta- "unpremeditated wild-flowers of Although I seem to lie quite stili, The position of the Crown stical, extravagant, absurd. But I speech." But the can be said with some confidence, Agents is in some respects unique. trne. And if the gallant Colonel It is the voice of Shakespeare's room, built firmly on the
rascal I'm rushing madly down a hill. do most devoutly believe it to be Bornchio never spoke for secrecy
them. in their making, They are the agents in the United asks what does it matter whether "demon"-breaking-through-the-ground, e.g. bombing aeroplanes,-would-Kingdom for the governments of the mind resides in brain or prose and lighting the dusk with is really whirling round and round, be practically impossible. There the Colonics and they receive in- abdomen I shall in my turn inquire coloured stars. An are too many diagruntled com- structions direct. munists about to prevent such Agents themselves are, however, Is round or flat, and would it darken the brain; the brain would be as.
undeniable At any moment I may die. The Crown does it matter whether the earth case of inspiration and not from Please tell me, children, what am I? a secret, if it existed, leaking ultimately responsible to, the our lives if we believed the moon much astonished by that miracle as out. Even with regard
Secretary of State for the Colonies, to be a lump of green cheese. to polson gas, it may incidentally conditions of service and office be noted that in her oppression expenditure, and fixes rates of the Jews, Germany is depriv-commission. ing herself of the services of for which the Crown Agents act for if Professor Iludson is right her most competent chemists.ars,, moreover, those for the ad- and the subconsciousness can and Shakespeare in cold blood would If a Disarmament Convention, mfnistration of which the Secre- does think without the brain, then not have so used them. They are fulfilling in some degree the lary of State la ultimately respon-man is not a mere mechanism un out of keeping with the character Allied pledges and the obliga-sible. There is thus a three-der chemical and atomic control and they have nothing to do with tions of the League of Nations cornered arrangement in which the but is a mind which uses brain the play. That is the under Article 8 of its Covenant, Crown Agents represent govern- and muscle as a musician ses a proof of their inspiration.
They flamed up in the poet's mind "Slim Sam swam like a swan." is not adopted before the end of monts under the direction of the piano or an artisan his toole, the year, the situation may appointed by the Secretary of moments of emotional stress or his ears like silver
Dr. Hudson points out that in like Hghtning flashes; they rang in Secretary of State, are themselves
The Editor: Slam swim swum chimes. change. The demand for 'police State, but yet are the agents not deadly peril the subjective mind Shakespeare had to write them, or
like a slum. aeroplanes, based upon an in- of the Secretary of State but of silences the reason and seizes con, shall we say they wrote themselves? Uncle Nat: No, Slum Sam swim cident which most people outside the respective governments from trol of the entire muscular and Yes. Undoubtedly Dr. Housmanlike a dwan. Germany believe fictitious, is a which they obtain their income nervous system. In such cases is right. We may deny the symptom of a tendency which and to which they are directly feata of almost superhuman autocrncy of the brain. may easily gather uncontrollable responsible. In these respects, momentum. But that is look and also in the exclusion from ing forward. The immediate their functions of all political or danger is that the war-spirit is tion differs from that of the High- diplomatic questions, their posi- being fostered in many direc- Commissioners and Agents-Gen- tions. The standing-army of eral in Londori representing the 100,000 men, which is allowed Dominions and India, who
governments.
SURPLUS REVENUE
OWE
to Germany under the Versailles allegiance solely to their own Treaty, is for its size probably the most efficient military body extant at the present moment. Drill is regarded to-day in Ger- many as the first duty of man, The idea is encouraged, in every The reputation of the Crown possible way and there are at Agents as business organisation, least a million well-drilled men and the fact that their expenses available. National passion of are paid from a fund derived from the most bellicose character is which they transact, have some charges made for the business being inculcated in School and times created an impression that' College. It is true that the they, like the partners of a private Government and Herr Hitler in business firm, put into their own particular are far too wise to pockets any surplus of revenue desire immediate war; but, like over expenditure. That is not and all despots. they use 'patriotism' never has been the case, Sur- as an instrument to consolidato plusen havo in fact usually ne- their own position. The danger crued, notwithstanding that is that it may so easily got out charges have always been modest; of control. What then is to be but they have been placed in a done about it? We must face reserve fund intended to provide the fact that the present. posicios. A few yours ago an e- for pension and other contingen- tion is largely due to the unjust tuarint Investigation, showed that treatment Germany has suffered the reserve fund was reasonably during the last twelve years. A sufficient for Its purposes, and it continuance of repression can was decided, with the concurrenco nover be a remedy for that.of the Colonial Conference of 1930, The problem is full of difficulty to refund nach year's surplus in" and complication, but somehow futurs to the Colonial: Govern- Justice must be done. It la goments concerned in proportion to ing to be dificult because of the the value of stores purchased atmosphere latterly created. But duringtho ybar. This arrange- ard we to admit that imat ment has emphasised the character of the romdevar a central,+CD- Brain-and-heart! Aronne un a
"Dat warden comes around here a dozei
The Editor. Nay, this shop doth distinctly not stop stock shot
shot stop
-stop shot.shick- ..shot.
Uncle Nat: Steady, steady. Say
The Editor: No, Swine Sam alums like a awan.
Uncle Nat: Furiously Flash Fred flew flinging afty fousand Brkins of fowls favvors from him.
The Editor: Why?,
Uncle Nat Because Mistress Hesther Masthers misthed her Easter as Mister Masthers misthod his Hester's methage,
Fun for Every One.
HERE is a good trick with a
·ring and `n piece of string- which will make a party go." The Editor: Go where? Uncle Nats Go home,··
In order to do this trick with a ring and a piece of string you re- quire a ring and a piece of string. Get some one to tie the ends of the piece of string to the ring, 'and announce that you are going to take the ring off the piece of string without untying the place of string. Every one will 'think- you are crazy, but what does that mattor?
Turn away from the onlookers so that they cannot see what you ure doing, get somobody to untle the piece of string, take the ring“, off the piece of string, taking caro not to drop the ring or the piece. of string on the floor. Then get some one to tie the piece of ring to the string, or rather the. ring to the piece of string, turn round to the audience, and show them that you have the ring and the piece of string-in fact, the wholefi dem thing
G
| The Editori But you were going. | to show us how to take the ring 0,