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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.
THE
MONDAY, JUNE 19, 1933.
In the first place, it will be neces- sary to prevent quibbles about the technicalities of international law from obscuring generally ac- cepted axioms of common sense. There is no exact precedent for
THE CASH VALUE OF A The Very Idea!
SCOTS ACCENT
By ERIC LINKLATER
VAUXHALL action. It is the first time in his-I that a Scots accent is, in Eng-
SYNCHRO-MESH
FAULTLESS GEAR
CHANGING
NOW
BEING DEMONSTRATED
AT OUR SHOWROOMS
Stubbs Road.
HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE
Phono 23124.
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
MONDAY, JUNE 19, 1933.
NOW BRING OUT YOUR PRIZE-FIGHTERS
By Edward Kelly, Pug,' '
on the
am told on competent authority, men 'are wonderful." They would
shoot on hearing.
AS Onco--this was in a bar in Panama S an enthusiastic admirer tory that practically the whole land, a possession of great value. City, but the same kind of thing hap-of Mr. Edward Kelly, the I am willing to believe this. An pens ovary where--1 observed a typical world has condemned military American friend of mine-a mimic demonstration of the power of the well known half wit, Mr. aggression by refusing to recog-of some ability-always assumes Scots accont. The barman had shown Edward Kelly is frequently heavy stage-Stots auhent to reply great dimculty in understanding a nise its conquesta. The refusal to beggars and others who accost fairly orthodox English speech, but called upon to punch sarcas of recognition has not arisen him in the street. And his nega- while I was drinking, a tall, dirty,tic critics on the nose.
tive invariably quelis the most im-and dishevelled man came in who loud-
It is a regrettable fact about The barman, immediately comprehend listening to comments from any disapproval of Man-portunate. A Scota No has the ly demanded, "Gio's a gins o' watter."
[ing. Instantaneously complied. churia and its people. The world moral force of centuries behind it.
But there are, of course, more Then the stranger, addressing no way this column is run that. would be pleased to see an auto-serious opportunities for the Nor one in particular, remarked, "I'd sooner or later someone has to nomous Manchuria, and the thern tongue, and the reasons for nothing for m' supper last night, and be punched on the nose.
its usefulness are very interesting. the same for m' breakfast the morn.
Therefore, in our endeavours Lytton Commission recommend-The explanation is largely to be And m' denner'll no got could for a
to be considered a humourist, we ed its establishment. No. single found, I think, in certain peculiari-very guld reason."
. CLANNISH ties of the Engilah rather than of
have been taking lessons in nog This confession drew into conversa- country should be permitted to the Scottish character.
tion another Scot, one hitherto silent punching. All we want now is take advantage of the complex
To study famous Englishmen is and little given to talking with a nose.
If we can't make people laugh legal situation which has arisen not the way to discover the English strangers, but irresistibly attracted
environment. through Japan's rejection of the charactor. The famous ones achieved by a volco so reminiscent of his youthat our column by reading what when drinking and abroad, we write, we can make 'em laugh. recommendations of the League One may think of Cœur de Lion especialmental creatures ready to by socking them.
INSULAR ENGLISH.
is
a are
SCOTS.
For Scotsmon,
with anyone who can claim
•
wore
fame because they were exceptional. ful pawning his kingdom to go on
In pursuit of this last refine- of Nationa. The present regime dangerous and unpleasant excursion; play "we twa hao paldeled in the
of Grenville chewing a wine-glass on burn", in Manchuria cannot be recognis- his death-bed to show the Spaniards acquaintance with an odd ben or two. ment of Kellysian humour, we he wasn't worrying; of Cromwell's I do not decry this mild patriotism: recently visited a local gymnas- and I only remark, as a curiosity, that it fum. and Nelson's blind eye ed, because international wrong
imperturbability-and flourishes most abroad.
As a specimen for a physical Wellington's
far cannot be rectified by approving one is filled with awe.
And as there are many Scots in unusual corners of the earth, a Scots accent culture institute, let us tell you.. wero But these
very its consequences. But the world
eltizons, and their typo is not likely in a very useful thing to go abroad right here and now that we are an
Treatment "Before
class. In can insist that neither Japan ner to recur under the auspices of com- with: quite as good as a Masonic grip, almost perfect example of the
useful as travellers' pulsory
education and the Adult and almost as any other country can use the Suffrage Act. The other kind of cheques. On this occasion my dis- fact, we have been offered prince- who ruefully hevelled countryman did very well out ly sums for the use of our photo pecullar legal status of Manchu- Englishman, however,
paid for Cour de Lion's Jaunts, and of his chance encounter: and truly his as an advertisement.
voice carried with it a welcome ro- We entered the gymnasium with kup as a shield for illegitimate thought Granville an appalling ruffian, vinder of the splendour and rough- an inferiority complex but they
and bashfully kept out of the way designs and operations. The doc-of Cromwell and Nelson and Welling-ness of Scotland that deserved some soon belted that out of us. Then trine of non-recognition has its ton, still survives in great numbers, recompense.
Later in the day I came across the for about ten minutes we proceed. And so far from being bloody, bald,
a rather mild, sturdy vagabond again, and now he cd to acquire some local colour, value, but it also has its limita- and resolute hold individual and was in trouble with a small but hostile principally in the vicinity of the
pleasant, and
Here again his mother tongue oye. tions. We may refuse to speak essentially Insular.
/crowdful, for he lashed them
After the instructor cracked our Because of his insularity he is apt to a certain person when we meet to credit foralities. Spies, anarchisto let him go. For invective, instructions, he told us to half nations with ex-with such Doric scorn and northern thighbone over our left jaw, and wrestling vituperation that they were soon will vice versa, with some him on the street, but this does aggerated
ists, and gunmen, priests, pictures, not indicate that we think he and twins, all become more remark-commination, deprecation, or deprecia go at the bars. We JAPAN AND
enjoys immunity from the law. able, sinister, or attractive when one tion the vernacular of Scotland is way across the road to the Hong- tacks on to them the adjectives Ger- almost unrivalled. The large rudo MANCHURIA
man, Russian, American, Egyptian, words roll down the argument like kong Hotel, before we discovered In refusing recognition to
French, and Siamese. So do a Beats boulders in a Highland stream, and our mistake.
"High-
We know all there is to know about American Clubs, Hongkong land cattle. by Although Japan protests occa- country, the world does not in-policeman, a Scots minister, and a every sentence is as shaggy as
Scots engineer transcend-their kind
It has been observed that to call Clubs, Cricket Clubs and other sionally, as for instance when tend to make it an area within the more fact of their alien birth anyone "a puir, feckless, fusionless, local Clubs, but we didn't know un- and by their accent shall ye know the League of Nations spoke of which violence and lawlessness them. Every rich guttural, each thowless craitur" is almost certain to til we started physical training banning Manchukuo from the can go unpunished. A nation careful vowel, is the trade mark of have the desired effect; but anyone that there were Indian Clubs in something beyond your ken, and so who cares to explore the resources of Hongkong. The patron of the Olympic Games, It is probable cannot be outlawed. All nations mysteriously superior to your own Scots Ilterature may find phrases that Indian Club, we were given to
produce. And perhaps the English- detonate a hundred times as loudly; understand, is Gandhi.
Read the "Flyting of Dunbar and
Anyway, believe it or not, we that the refusal of the world to are within the law. They are man's Instinct is right; but it is not Kennedie," Nobody knows what halt recognise the independence of all under the sway of universal for me to say so, for 1 come from in of It monns, but the mere sonnut of it came back to the office after our
part of that, admirable
telligence. Barracking', in such aably at. Manchukuo is not altogether dis-right and justice. Manchuria is a multitude of ways, is admirable appals the sonses and shocks the in-course of training feeling remark-
above all for its modesty.
We were so it, as a matter of language would defeat' any team on BLESSING OF ACCENT. ·
earth and for. over displace the legs fact, that, without human agreeable to Japan. The result not a really no-man's-land. Its
To recur for a moment to police trap as a weapon of offence.
liquid ald, we were able to sit position, and
men: their possession of a Scots
COLDEN ADVERTISEMENT. down at our typewriter and panch of the League decision has been geographical
In view of these circumstances, and out to-day's Edward Kelly. They to place Manchuria in a peculiar Japan's conquest of it, have accent is indeed a blessing, for in tho midst of English voices that slide like vague and boneless things among the many others, Scotsmen are probably carried him away on a stretcher. ill-advised to shod their native speech situation from the viewpoint of made it everybody's business.
dilapidated remnants of a language, international law. Since the le-
the rumbling noise of Scotland' when settling in England. Yet many of them do, and presumably reap some speech is truly magnificent. Scots gal existence of the Manchu
policemen are usually country-bredbonent by conforming to the prevail-
pirates the accent of Scots towns is often no guise themselves as peasanta before state is not recognised, the argu-
pleasanter than that English towns.
ment has been put forward that
Caesar for Journalists.
а
for
of
•
J
or
ANOTHER FAIRY TALE. And so Red Riding Hood pack- ed a pork-pic and a flask of tinned
"I know, drat it. That was when I had my face lifted. The stitches drag, and that's what's pulling the ears forward."
"And Grandma, what lovely large teeth." -
"Yes, darling. My new sot, and the confounded things don't dit I sneezed them out last night, and they bit my big too. Put that spoojoo stuff down, and give me a cigarotto."
forth to visit Grandma. It wasn't It seems hardly fair that an And perhaps, in considering the ad- embarking in the vessel they mean to soup in her little basket, and set
vantages of a Scots tongue, ose should capture.
Many really successful Scotsmen, that she thought the old wretch. it cannot be bound by the great age which-shows-an-unparallel pay more attention to the English- international conventions to fondness for dictators should man's cathetic taste, and say that he however doctors, for example-care-actually needed food, but some- Glasgow has the rich lilt of portant feature of their personality pillowcase full of Savings Certi which other nations have sub- have taken to abusing the great-appreciates it for its robust melody. fully preserve their accent as an im-where in that cottage there was a
They wear the Doric as another man ést dictator of all. Yet it can comedy in its throat. scribed. For example, if the not be denied that the reputa-
The most deplorable aspect of the will wear a button-hole or a beard, ficates, and grandmothers can't On her way she met the Wolf, Disarmament Conference pro- tion of Julius Cesar is not what reforms that Lord Trenchord proposes and for the same purpose; to present live for ever.
the Metropolitan Polico is surely in distinguishing mark in the midst of duces a general agreement for it was. Shakespeare described the standardisation of speech that will uniformity, Nonconformity of this and in her childish way told him limitation and reduction to him as "the foremost man of all result from recruiting in the pubile kind is excellent, for it requires a where she was going. You never schools. Think of inquiring the way certain bravery and reveals a definite know. Maybe the Wolf might go. delight in ono's In- She arrived in the cottage, and which Japan is a party, Manchu- this world" and only a few to Bloomsbury and being answered in pride in one's own person or achieve and bite Grandma.
Immediately said to the figuro in asking the time-that query honoured dividuality.
The consciously preserved accent, the-bed: Why, what large eyes kuo cannot be expected to ad- months ago this opinion was con- the tones of Bloomsbury! Think of ments and a
firmed by Col. John Buchan. by time itself and hearing Robert ro-
a reliable advertise here, for other countries in re- More recently Prof. R. S. Con-ply in the voice of a D.B.C. announcer, then, is often
"Yes," snorted the old lady. fusing to recognise its existence way has revealed all sorts of de- with nil his vowels froned flat and his ment-an advertisement more dificult you have Grandma.
consonants manicured for the evening to counterfeit than a Bank of England
the corners alit." | have virtually denied its right to fects in Cresar's character, and performance! No more would Trans. fiver. But not because of its water-Ivo just paid fifty guineas to have "And what large ears you have, Grandma." be a signatory. Japan, therefore, into the breach which he has atlantic visitors remark, "Your police-mark.
effected in Cesar's reputation might consent to reductions of
many other accusers have not its own armaments in the ex-refrained from hurling them- pectation that strong military selves. The · correspondence and naval forces could be created columns of the London Times in Manchukuo, over which no have bristled with attacks even upon Caesar's literary style. He international control would be
is alleged never to have written exercised. These forces, of anything comparable with the course, would be virtually part star passages of the great his- of the Japanese military, naval torians, like Livy's account of Hannibal's crossing of the Alps, and air establishment. Again,
or Prescott's story of Cortez'a Japan has recently adhered to conquest of Mexico with a mere the 1981 convention limiting the handful of followers. Cæsar manufacture and distribution of could not write like Macaulay narcotic drugs which becomes or Segur; his style was un- effective next July, Manchukio, emotional, unexciting matter of. fact. Cæsar did not think in in its present state of legal non-headlines; he was not constantly existence, cannot be expected to on the watch for slogans. He adhere to this convention. Japan, did not exaggerate every trifling which has always been one of incident he described into an the leading manufacturers of event of world-shaking import- ance, in the fear that if he did narcotic drugs can therefore not invest it with a sham cata- transfer its operations in this clysmic significanco no one would field to Manchuria and continue care to road about it. He did to flood China with drugs from not choose from out of his com this base in no-man's-land. Re- prohtensive experience the most unpleasant incidents, and dwell porta by the Geneva authorities
on these to the destruction of all' indicate that this transfer has perspective. Cesar might well, already commenced. Several in fact, be made compulsory
INS
things can be done, of course. reading in schools of journalism.
"I can't help thinking how I would feel, if I were a horse
and couldn't have every thing I wanted to eat."
་
And the Wolf? Nobody knows, but next time Grandma went out In her baby car she was wearing a now set of furs.,
*
*
COMEDY ON BUS,
Personae. Dramatao: A Con- ductor and a Passenger.
Passenger tenders á dollar. Conductor: No change. Passenger: No chango?
Conductor, tapping his baver sack, suggests the passenger alight and take the next bus when it is. possible, be may get change for his dollar,
Passenger: I shall be getting off very soon in any event, and it will be a free ride for me it. you can't change that dollar.
Conductor is plainly distressed'" by the information. At the next stop, holding up the bus, ho dashes to the nearest shop and presently returns with an air of.. having performed a feat, a look of tremendous rallef on his face.
Ho counted: 90 cents into the palm of his hand and then looked for the passenger, who was gonet