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The
WEDNESDAY MAY 17, 1933.
A NORWEGIAN TRIUMPH
WEDNESDAY, MAY 17. 1933.
THE MODERN PROBLEM.
BEAUTY OR BRAINS?
By LIONEL HALE
The Very Idea!
COMING TO OUR
CENSORS
Jed about its future. In an hour of comparative gloom, comes this striking instance of com- plete success. In pre-League: days, vituperation and violence were the recognised means of settling disputes between na- tions. To-day the League spirit:
By Eddie Kally, Last Say. has inspired two small but by Hero is a story, with a moral. remember. Listening to them, I
local cun- An officer in the Chinese army blush. I cannot get away from the Alm reviewer in a no means unimportant nations to
(so it is reported) was found by fact that I never stood on a chuir temporary complains that settle their quarrel by reason his brother officers on the verge of to look at any beauty in my life. there's not enough censorship in and mutual goodwill. Unfor-blowing his brains out. When, Are there no Jersey Lilies now sox Alms. tunately it is difficult to accept amicably or by force, they had dis-adays, or is it just that wo sot less He thinks that the Hongkong the event, in these days of crisis, sanded him, they asked the natural store by physical beauty? censors are so busy.plying the tear now goddess among us unnoticed, scissors en gangster films that as a harbinger of present-day question "Why?" A
to appear tendencies. The political situn-rolled down his impassive cheek or has she yet tion in Europe is severely strain- and he replied "Because I am ugly, all clambering on chairs? Perhaps they haven't time to waste on
and life is insupportable for an there are no goddesses, because mere osculations. ed. When one examines the
there are no worshippers. ugly man.' tone of the relations bc- Ugliness may acem at first sight We are a sadly moral lot. We tween Rome and Belgrade, to be a frivolous reason for so very are always wanting faces to be "in- or "strong" or "full between revisionist Hungary unpleasant, so very final a thing as torenting"
We are all in favour of letting and the Little Entente, be-suicide. But the more usual rea- of character." It is not entirely tween Germany any France, sons for suicide (if so unreasonable the fault of the men, that they do the censors expand their activities, thing can be said to have reasons) not value feminine beauty as they so that people outside the film to further one cannot look
have much less to commend them did. The women encourage this world may have developments without some feel than ugliness has. Financial trou now vice: for the women do not witnessing this great power for ing of alarm. France is faced bles or domestle worries quarrels want to be beautiful as much as to good at work.
To save the time of the censora by Germany in the throes of an with my bank manager or my wife be clever, Give a woman to-day
and we have started on some of the
DISAPPEAR.
large
great loss in that.
to set us
As for men, the case would ap- pear to be hopeless. When shall
Personally, we think it would bon censorble iden if they didn't stop at flims.
11
on
and
on a wall".
3
chance of
insult to tho Boy Scout movement, to the South
extreme Nationalist rising. Pre--will not drive me to despair, be the choice between beauty sident Roosevelt has made a cause there are remedies for thom, brains and she will choose wrong-nursery rhymes, which have now magnificent effort, in his historic Troubles of that sort may easily sho will choose brains. She would been thoroughly refined, distilled, disappear. Bank managers, and rather men listened to her than filtered, muzzled and made respect- announcement yesterday abans even wives, may relent. It would looked at her,
able on the lines suggested by our doning, probably for over, Amer-be shortsighted not to wait.
The Americans have a phrase for contemporary.
woman the sort of old-fashioned
Take, for instance, "Mary Had a ica's traditional policy of isola
I would like to have back. "Beau- Little Lamb. It fairly reeks tion, to lessen the growing dis-NOSES NEVER
tiful but Dumb" they call her. with suggestiveness. A blush trust. It needs, however, the ut-
Who cares? All women ought to comes to our cheek na wo think of most tact and adjustments of But ugliness is irredeemable, and to beautiful: and if it is at the the hideous suggestions contained
new combustible to be ugly is to remain ugly. Over. viewpoint if material is not to be accumulat-drafts often disappear, but nose cost of being dumb, well, I see no in the last line.
Here is our revised rhyme: Mary had a little cd. Herr Hitler holds the key to never.
It must not be thought that I am
--- War white as snow the entire problem. A forecast
axcusing, for reasons of ugliness,
And everywhere that Mary went of the statement which he is to that very ugly thing suicide. There meet again a room-full of men
With the exception of bathrooms, make in the Reichstag to-day is no excuse for suicido, because who openly pride themselves
and declares that while he will em- there is no redress. It is unfortheir good looks? If you call a bedrooms, public telephones,
he bathing sheds, that lamb was sure to to givable, because there is nobody man good-looking nowadays phasise Germany's elm ns
thinks you are insulting him. He go. equality, the general tone will left to forgive. But I see what was wants nothing more to be naked of in the mind of that Chinese officer.
Next, take "Humpty Dumpty."" Hongkong Telegraph. be conciliatory. It is to be hopedi
his face than that it should be pro- He could never be beautiful, and that the belief will not prove if he could not be beautiful hoperly shaved; and women, if they This is a most seditious rhyme, anfounded. President Roosevelt would be nothing at all.
want to latter their husbands (or alleging, as it does, a condition of If ho has placed all his cards upon could not have a Roman nose he their future husbands, or, in these serious inefficiency in the armed days of divorce, their past hus-forces of His Majesty the King. the table. Surely the time has would die a Roman death.
bands), tell them that they aro More than this, the verse deala come for Herr Hitler to make a
But observe how old-fashioned delightfully ugly." "Tell me how with a character of the atmost he is In the twentieth century constructive gesture.
he actually cares for good looks! you broke your nose." they whisper depravity. We are told in the But we up-to-date moderna have adoringly. "It gives you such an first Hno that the character "aut ceased to care for them. We up-
air How Mythology
rebel against all this. And I Why did he sit on a wall? Why This may чест the wrong
todate moderns no longer worship rebel on altruistic grounds, for I do you alt on walls? That man is Formed
personal beauty. I have yet to myself am much better off as things Humpty Dumpty wasn't on the heading for the recital of the
discover what we up-to-date moare. There is no danger of my bewall for any good purpose. No- circumstances of a judgment in
derns do caro for, but it certainly favour of Denmark and against Savage tribes in the jungles of isn't that. Old gentlemen in clubs ing insulted by being called good-body ever is. What was it the looking. I wish there wore. wall of? And who B&W kim America worship the tell me (and I always listen atton should like to be a Oulda hero Norway by the Permanent Court South
sitting on the wall? Why, we of International Justice at The image of a white man in a silk tively to old gentlemen in clubs) about six foot and a half tall, per-repeat, did he sit on the wall at hat and frock cont. Explor-that there are no beautiful women fectly proportioned, with a manly if you think what we think, Hague.
to-day The old gentlemen, when It is, however, de-ers have collected many car-they were young gentlemen, stood chest, black hair, oyebrows liberately chosen, because the ved wooden staffu
waxed moustache we will delete the word "wall." bearing
moustache (and
The third line is rankly sedit- outstanding significance of the this odd image; a white man in/on elmirs to see Lily Langtry, theynt that), large blue eyes, a noble jous on the face of It. It is a
brow, a chiselled nose ond wearing case recently decided is the jold-fashioned dress, often carved I
the uniform of some decorative re gratuitous temper in which it has been con- with genuine skill, with minor that he attended the cinema six giment. For that, I would put ur Wales Borderers', the Royal Navy, ducted by the opposing Govern- details of costume faithfully times a week! As many as 229 with any of your modern insults. rendered. Medicine men used testified that they dreamed at
It is a sad thing that we have and the Hongkong government. ments, and naturally the greater such staffs extensively, believing night following a visit to the lost our vanity credit is due to the defeated that all manner of diseases could cinema and in 69 per cent. of
We have allowed it to be swept HUSH-A-BYE BABY. party who, in spite of bitter dis-be cured with them. A long these cases the dreams were baser, duller, more energetic in lines indicate the depravity of
away and have replaced it with
Gross indecency. The first two- apppointment at the result, ac-investigation has finally pro-nightmares.
The majority, terests. "Here lies the twentieth modern nursery rhymes. cepts the umpire's verdiet loyal-duced explanation. More with the refreshing candour of century" will be the inscription on
Hush-a-bye Baby. Scotch
children, admitted they learned our tematone in the Cemetery of ly. This, in our English phrase, than 200 years ago a
colony was settled on the Gulf is cricket. It is not necessary of San Blas. William Patterson nothing through the films, while Time. "Too Busy to be Beautiful." some, with equal naiveness said Anyone in these days of paint and to follow all the details of the was the leading spirit in the they learned American slang, mass production can be just uver be arguments used on either side. venture. He was a skilled and Practically по evidence was agely beautiful, and no more; the can only have a pernicious
general atandard is doubleas high-on the young minds of to-day. It is enough to say that this is conscientious physician, and adduced revealing any mental or er; a certain comeliness is within This is no time for mock modesty the first case in which the Per-worked many cures among his moral benefits to be obtained the reach of all; and while there are or for mincing words. The whole manent Court has had to ad- barbaric native neighbours. As from films, and this surely is one no Jersey Lilice, it is possible to rhyme
a result, the simple savages of the most serious accusations gild the ordinary lily into passable follows: judicate upon អ question
having canonized him when he died-the cinema industry has to face. prettiness. Mediocrity. sovereign rights to territory: or, rather, raised him to There is also a big onus
conquered our politicians, has turn- on led its attention to our faces. Two principles of International position of godhood. Members
parents. If only. from the Only a Chinese officer made a "Old Mother Hubbard" will Law were in conflict. Denmark of his own race have long since health point of view, it would stand. Only one solitary ideallat, have to be banned. The sug claimed the whole of Greenland forgotten all about him, but he seem that children should not be out of all the ormica of the world, gestion that the cupboard was on the basis of ancient treaty remains to-day, a potent legend allowed to attend the cinemas remembered Ouida's Guardsman bare is one that cannot be over- and modern agreement. Norway in the distant jungles. This is more than once a week. There and was ashamed. Ho might have looked. This must be stamped invoked the doctrine of 'ress unusual a kind of fame as any is sufficient evidence to suggest fired the world; and when his up-out. We can have no nudity in
to-date brother officers stopped him, this Colony. multis. Some of her fishermen white man ever attained; and it that too frequent attendance what a candle was
put out! A¦ had formed rough settlements leads one into fruitless but upon an unoccupied part of the interesting speculation about plays a part in undermining the Chinese officer was saved, but what
la martyr was lost! bleak coast line, and finally her the origins of other, more Government claimed the right to widely-known gods of old days, fly the Norwegian flag and ar- because it sheds such a revealing range for the administration of light on the way in which primi- justice along this part of East tive people form their myths. Greenland. Feelings began to When we first learn of myths, run high in both countrics, but most of us wonder how people но inventive; the very wisely and properly their could be Governments decided to have the answer, apparently, being that dispute settled for them by the they aren't. Myths aren't in- Impartial judgment of the World vented; they are built up un- Court, which the League of Na-consciously about frameworks In a world which has tions had catablished. By twelve of fact. votes to two the Court rejected problems enough of its own the submissions of Norway and this is of very small importance. accepted those of Denmark. But it is interesting.
of
Without hesitation or delay M.
Mowinckel, the Prime Minister
of Norway, expressed the rendi-
ness of his country to abide by
the decision so adverve to its
Wag
an
Children and the Cinemas
hopes. Even more remarkable Recently we commented on perhaps the prompt ex- the need for a more desirable change of telegrams between the type of cinéma film for children. Kings of Norway and Denmark, But a report by Dr. Gross, the the one congratulating, the other military physician at Hanip- condoling with, his brother-stead, indicates 1 more im- both determined that, in spite of portant issue. He declares, their differences, the existing na a result of a questionnaire, good relations between their that the cinema is infurious to respective countries should bo the health and minds of children. strengthened rather than in his quest for information, diminished. The moral of the Dr. Gross received 500 replies whole affair is so obvious that from children whose ages ranged Sixty it hardly needs to be recorded. from 11 to 14 years. The League of Nations has been children declared they never go crossing rough water of late. Its to a cinema. Sixty nine per enemies have been rejoicing cont. complained of visual fati- over its dimculties and even von-guo following cinema attend- turing to prophesy the end they ance. The boys appeared more desiroits complete failure. Its devoted to the silver screen friends sometimes felt bewilder-than the girls, one lad stating
health.
"The child specialist, anys she has a perfectly (marvel-
lous destie tive sense."
On the Tree Top....... The statement that babies are to
found, like this pious effect
must be, modified
8.
Hush a bye Baby. Under the gooseberry bush....
4
Simple Simon
We were in two minds about "Simple Simon". However, the publishers have agreed to delate cortain offending passages to we agreed to pass it.
The original verse read: Simple Simon, met a pleman Going to the fale
Sald
Pieman
Simple Simon to
.
the
"Let Me taste your wore,” The first line, with the exception of the words "Simple" and "pic" Is passable. But the second line must be deleted altogether. The more fact that this Simon person was going to meet a blonde woman is sufficient to contaminato the minds of our youthful readers. Third line is consored in accordance with the ruling made in respect to the first line.
The word "taste" In the fourth line is objectionable. To have a "tanto" means nothing more or loss than indulgence In alcoholic stimulants, and this is to be deplored.
The currected verso rends as follows
Simon met a ——— Man Going to
Sold -
Let mo
Simon to the
your ware
The most vulgar work we have evor had to deal with in a de- praved thing called "Three Blind Mice."
The third atanza is terrible... "They all ran after the farmer's wife?" Tut! Tot! Tat! Worda
fail us..
The next line is oven worse. "She Cut Off Their Tails With A : Carving Knife":
This is torrible; and has been.
referred to the S.P. Ç.A:
The whole work is banned..