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BINCOKO MESH
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DRIVERS
Driving was a strain on every, one's nerves, particularly in our modern congested traffic. One of the chief worries was caused by concentration on do- gear changing, double clutching and all its attendant worries.
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The
THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 1933.
DON'T BE A DOORMAT
By HELEN ROSE
is well to take note of tendencies. In the meantime, however, woj imagine there will be consider- able reluctance felt by the Gov- ernment.to interfere with tho Colony's free port status, as, Most men and all children are people wipe their feet on doormata once we set our backs on the selilah, and it is the greatest min-automatically.
take for a vife and mother to al- A little spice of genial unselfish- present system, it would be dil-low herself to be a doormat to herness is very good for husband and cult to retrace our steps should family. She takes the back sent, children. the need arist. On the other and they think sho likes it,
hand, no-one can view with equanimity the disastrous effects of dumping on the Colony's big- gest industry, in which so much British capital has been invested.
Scolding the Savants
A woman
This may sound cynical,. but
Hongkong Telegraph, ulgence by the opinion that a be impressed by a wife who points quite fall to see that she
THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 1983.
savant is usually chiefly interest-
WOMAN'S ANNUAL ORGY
By L. C. MOORE.
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that
is to
The Very Idea!
MOTHERS-IN-LAW
By Ed. ("Had Some") Kelly. "Sin-law," said he in a PEAKING of mothers-
hushed voice.
Thoy toll us that the mother-in-
nowadays. law jokes have gone out of data We know that. There's no joke about our mother-in-law,
If there ever was any joke about mother-in-law, we nover found out what it was.
The chief comedian-the
Immediately everyone in the house would shrick aloud in an agony of mirth and drown his next words.
The comedian would never persist in trying to make him- self heard, in case somebody expired.
her daughter's husband's life as miserable as possible.
We have known many mothers- iu-law, but none of them have boon ko that. Most of them are Ba seductive, as bewitching, and as alluring as a stocking advertise- ment, only more so.
When sho visite her daughter and the despised husband she brings the latest juzz records, dresses in transparent beach pyjamas, and drinka the husband under the tablo.
And, generally, the poor decrepit old lady gets on ao well with her
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one who becomes miserable. ·
Hubby falls for the old lady in a big way, and they whisper in corners when the daughter is not looking, and the party ends up in a row with the husband and mother- In-law arrayed against the daug~
tor.
Mind you, we don't want you to get the idea that our mother-in-law is that.
Wo would not, under any cir- cumstances, cast any reflections on the old hen's character. She may be an interfering, doddling Into old fool, sticking her nose 'other people's business, and exaring misery wherever she goes, but (18 not for the likes of us to say so. We may have our opinions, but, we trust we are a gentleman.
Many women are ready to sacri-every-day experienco.shows Ace themselves entirely to their it in the wife and mother with per families. But the time comes when sonality, self-regard and a little gay the sacrifice is accepted as a mat- selfishness that is more adored by
her husband and children, ter of course.
Anyhow, a wife and mother has in apt to be deeply wounded when her family is not to make quite enough compulsory particularly grateful or apprecia-sacrifice without looking round to tive. But she has put horselt in find more. And if anyone
be the party. was reserved exclusively the background and let her family be walted on, it should
best of everything. In mother and not the children; if for him--would come on the The character of a complete have the
fact, she has always put herself anyone la to fetch and carry it stage and say, "Now any mother- aavant, according to the pre-last, and is deeply hurt when her should be the husband, and not the in-law——”
wife. sident of the French Academy family loaves her there,
Of course, in the big things of But she shouldn't always be life a good wife and mother will of Sciences, should, but does not, conform
to Dante's definition, ready to fetch her husband's shoe always be ready to make sacrifices.
and pick up her children's toys.
But it is in the little things of "He listens to good purpose who If she insists upon making these life that too many women make takes note.". Savants, said Prof.sacrifices, let her make it quite themselves doormants. They take Charles Richet, ara in general clear that they are favours, not the uncomfortable chair, and cat The burnt toast, and lug parcela, negligent listeners. He appeal-rights,
Her family will think a great deal and get up to ring the bell, and ed to the members, most of
We gather, however, that the more of her if she occasionally re-ake up family breakfasts, and stay lady in question was supposed to whom were then presumably minds them what a good wife and at home to mind the house. And be a combination of a crocodile, a those are the things that the sergeant-mnjar with corns, and a listening, to reform this neg-mother she is.
Husbands don't really care about family will allow her to do, without Peak taipan, and her chief occupa ligence. He admitted that, the papers read by savants to a mi unselfish wives. They think they thinking, for just so long as she tion in life was to atay with her do, but the devoted slave-wife is choosen to do it. And they don't daughter, so that she could make cellaneous gathering of other rarely the star of a man's exist-love her a bit better for it. savants were sometimes not of once. In time he is apt, like most So, for her family's sake, as well too much for as her own, the wife and mother general and compelling interest; husbands, to take
granted, and he is quite likely to should think before she makes lier- nevertheless, it would be well regard his wife's devotion in the self the slave of the household. for all present to pay attention, same way as he regards an easy Later on she will quite probably and for some to refrain from chair or a good dinner. They are upbraid her husband for being sel conversation with, their neigh simply there and he merely, bone-fish, and reproach her children for
and being unkind. fits by them,
Innttentive. explained this neg-
A husband is far more likely to They will resent this, and she will has brought it all on herself that it out to him what a treasure he has.
Unselfish mothers also make Is her unselfishness that has made ed in some special subject, and Belfish children. And when af them so selfish. often seems happier in talking mother complains of lack of thought "Oh, Mother won't mind!" is the about that subject himself than and consideration in her children, cruellest epitaph that any family in listening to others. To the it is probably because she has can raiac. But Mother has written JAPANESE DUMPING layman these observations may never taught them to be considerate those words herself, because she son-in-law that the daughter is the present an unexpected picture of or attentive to herself. She has has chosen, all unknowing, to bo Solely on economic grounds, savants
in convention. Hore, made herself their doormat. And the Family Doormat, the Government of India has de. if anywhere, he has very likely nounced the Trade Convention thought, knowledge would be with Japan, under which that listened to with breathless in- country has hitherto enjoyed terest, the least grain harvested, most-favoured-nation treatment.
He could hardly have imagined two or more savants chatting This is a sequel to the dumping together while another savant
Once, in the dim, dark ages when And it's all so unnecessary-or of Japanese commodities, prin- read his paper, the savant now people lived in caves, a cave-wife should be. Mind you, I don't say cipally piece-goods, although all occupying a place in the public got a bright idea for Alling In a it was never necessary. It probab. ly was when the cave-wife started classes of dumped goods will, thought somewhat akin to that lack afternoon.
She turned out the akull-bone it. of course, be affected by the de occupied by the. philosopher
But in these days of modern when Plato was planning his re-ornaments, the wattle mats and her cision. Japan's depreciated cur-
husband, and gave the place a villas and labour-saving devices- public. But on second thought, rency and other factors have en-such a concentrated attention thorough clean from top to bottom. why, do you think that if a man The lady in the cave next door had a house to run he would have abled her to flood the Indian would have been more likely at a saw her, and immediately realised to give it a thorough clean once markets with goods at prices convention of those early philo- that unless aho did the same thing a year? Most definitely not. With which adversely affect India's sophers than at a gathering of her husband might begin to think his inherent love of system and own industries, and it is purely modern savants. The audience she wasn't such a good cave-wife organisation, he would so arrange his work that every room would to protect these industries that would have been smaller and as the cat next door.
So she turned out all her belong-automatically be given a complete FACTS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN the interests represented not so
Dynamite has practically The lugs Including the man. the Convention has now been multitudinously diverse.
Once turn-out once a week.
No dust would be allowed to ronutritive value, abrogated. This question of savant is, after all, kith and kin started, the idea spread, and the
Ramesca 1 was the Grat... Japanese dumping has been with the layman, like the thorough turn-out became an an-main undisturbed for a year; it.
nual orgy.
wouldn't even be allowed to settle.. much to the fore of late. Lan-Colonel's lady and Judy O'Gray,
Every year, just when we feel There-would be no accumulation of monarch to take an active intarest cashire has been complaining and it detracts nothing from
garden are beginning to burst, and bulbs and so on to shift from the loudly of its effects, whilst even recognition of his profound in-happy because the buds in the old shoca, old hats, obsolete lamp in postage stampe. here in Hongkong the issue has fluence to learn that he is at the pipes in the loft have ceased top of the cupboard; they just
tentive chiefly to matters of his to burst, our wives descend upon would'nt be put there. been raised in the case of the own concern.
us with galls and mope. cement industry: The ground- on which India has acted could be held to provide justification for the taking of measures to No American president ir protect the Hongkong cement history has occupied quite the industry, which has been keenly position that President Roosevel feeling the effects of Japanese occupies to-day. By a uniqu combination of circumstances competition
uneconomic at
he stands in the spot where all of prices. The cases, however, are the hopes and fears of the natior. not quite on all fours, inasmuch converge. The fears are greater as Hongkong is, for all intents than ever before and the hopes more passionate. Every and purposes, still a free port, are whereas India has her own tariff problem that the country faces system under which action is and there are many of them, overwhelming in size and com- easily taken. The question thus plexity--has been dumped on arises whether, in view of Hong- his doorstep. The responsibility kong's pecullar position as a this puts on his shouldera la distributing centre rather than tremendous. Because the na- an actual producer, it would, be ture and extent of that responsi- politic to interfere with its free bility are widely realised, Mr. port status, on which, admitted-Roosevelt has begun his term of office with the whole-hearted ly, Ita prosperity has been built best wishes of all Americans, up. There is the further aspect regardless of party. This is at that discriminatory tariffs invite once his strength and his weak- ho will retaliation, and it is conceivable mess. If he succeeds that such retaliation might ad-succeed greatly; if he falls his versely affect the very industries failure will be immeasurable, America has come to realize, sought to be assisted. Apart in the hard years of the depres- from cement, there are other in-sion, that the country can drift dustries in this Colony which no longer because the drift is would doubtless like protection. toward a cataract. America has that the Indeed, indications are not want-also come to realise
to remedy, the ing that Hongkong is slowly, but programme Burely, developing an industrial troubles must come from the hite House because experi- character. Particularly is this nce has shown that it cannot noticeablo on the mainland. possibly come from anywhere There are people who bellevo else. To-day as never before, that Kowloon and its hinterland Americans have placed their for- will eventually become a big in-tunes, hopes for the futuro, and dustrial contro, especially when confidence in the hands of the the railway link between Canton President. They have given him, so to speak, a blank cheque and and Hankow le forged. This is his use of it so far has been ad- admittedly looking ahead, but it mirablo.
Roosevelt
How Men Suffer
Wo make a joke of it, but how we suffer. We can't sit down any where because there is nowhere to eit down. Before we can retire to rest we have to shift the bedroom furniture off the bad. Wo can'e drive into the garage until we've moved the dining-room suite out.
Ая
whola a consequence, the place would be kept so tidy and motes that the weekdy clean would be a more matter of routine, instead of the general and ghastly upheaval that the annual do is.
The more I think about it, the moro certain I am that it all goes back to that eve-wife. She started it. and no wife since has had the
courage to atop it.
** Ike those, ma'am. They're so sheer nobody'd guess you"
had any stockings" on."
• •
•
ΠΟ
*
*
Mr. J. H. Thomas Irons his own hata.
There are no railways in Lapland.
•
Mr. G. B. Shaw signs his OWE autographs,
+
Turnips in Manchuria are called Mongol Wurzels.
A saxophone la technically musical Instrument.
E
A kipper with marmalade tastes quite different.
Edward Kelly nover went Sunday School.
• •
to
FAMOUS TRIALS, Mies Muffet doposed that every svening she sat on a tuffet in the garden to eat curds and whey and listen to the broadcast from the house next door. On this particu- lar evening the defendent suddenly appeared and said, "Hullo, dearie.” Witness had never before in hor
Ho been spoken to by a man..
Hare counsel for the defence In- terposed and said, "Me lud. My client is not a man. She is a lady." (Sensation),
The Judge: She doesn't look very ladylike. (Laughter). Is sho
married?
Counsel. She has a husband, In a manner of spenking.. The fact is, she was married only this morning. and she has since eaten him. IVE an old spider's custom..
At this the prosecution with- 'drew, but the publicity enabled Miss Muffet to go on the stage and she got money from; at least two enterprises. One was a furnishing firm, who invented the slogan, "If Miss Muffet had." nat on one of our tuffects, nothing would hove frightoned her away.”
The other firm told the world that "Miss Muffet's curds and whey was, made with our Essenco. DZ Rendet Try some yourself, and som spiders likowylso,^