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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1933
Double-Drop "X" Frame
Six to-day!
THE HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE.
Stabba Rakč
The
Hongkong Telegraph.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1933.
due
CHANGES
The Year of Stress
SLEEPING GAS
By ROBERT LYND
41
The Very Idea!
"A TELEPRINTER DUEL
-
the meeting started that the best man available would have to be put- on the assignment.
Yesterday; just before we left the office for Happy Valley, Robert Mac Whirter approached us with a $10 note.
"I diana bet as a rule," he said, but would ye be kind enough to put thus on Burgomaster? Y' unper-.. stan'*"
*
"It is possible future historians may look back upon the year 1931 as scarcely less fateful for the whole world than 1914. We are just far enough removed.
E. Kelly v. R. MacWhirter. from it now to begin to sea
I see that some critics are a war, would do his best to recover its outline in perspective: and
It might not be generally known our view of it may be clarifies objecting to the new gas that the himself, and, clearing his throat, that whilst we are outdoors on im
French chemists have invented for would say husidily to his staff: portant assignments, Robert Mat- by the interpretative chronicle use in war, in case, though nobody "Well, boys, to business." He Whirter looks after the office boy, of world events contained in the wants a war somebody happens to would then give orders to enter all the stamps and the lesser journa- The "X-design" frame gives Affairs, 1981," written mainly
annual "Survey-of-International make-one.
the-houses and make the inhabit- listic fry, co This gas, when dropped in bombs ants prisoners, and, to show that When we are in the afflowe the
chassis great torsional by Prof. Arnold Toynbee, and from the air, will be able, we are he was no coward, he himself share and share alike. We take the strength, and -four-point motor issuca in Great Britain under told, to put an enemy population would be given a leg-up through, kicks and he gives them.... suspension provides exceptional the auspices of the Royal In- into a coma out of which they will the side window of Woodbine The Telegraph had its best brains frame rigidity. The frame is stitute of International Affairs. awake in, at most, a couple of Villa by hie aide-de-camp.
covering the Annual Race Meeting braced by the X member and What a year it was, in which days, not a penny the worse for Marching up the stairs with as this week. What with automatic
their prolonged slumbers, three conventional cross mem-so much that we had thought
Berce an air as he could muster, he Teleprinters, and favourites being fixed came tumbling down about on panthers and wild cats--which,
The gas has already been tried would pause at the first bedroom beaten, and the office syndicate shar bers
us! All other perplexities and if they are anything like domestic door he reached, and, receiving no ing a through ticket on the Cash. Sce and drive the New Rockne troubles of the world, not ex-ents, would have been asleep most answer to his knock, would walk Sweeps, it was realised long before
cluding anxieties about new of the time in any case-and the boldly in. wars, were eclipsed,, Professor animals on reviving showed no Turning on the light, he would
look round the room and see in the We are not conceited, so we won't Toynbee feels, by the fear of the loss of cheerfulness,
Maay efforts have been made to corner a cradle, decorated with mention names, leaving it to our threatened collapse of the whole world order. Class warfare,
humanise war; but until now they pink bows, and in the cradle an in- Great and Admiring Public to draw have been made in vain. The dis- fant sleeping. Now, foreigners its own conclusions. political and economic nationa lism, and race feeling were the covery of this new gas, however, are very sentimental people, parti-, may well be the beginning of a cularly about babies. The Com- disruptive forces which made it new era in which wars can be mander-in-Chief would sign to the difficult to organize peace and won without the shedding of so uid-de-camp to make no noise, and "cramped the supple movements much as a drop of blood,
would creep over to the side of the of an economic system which I confess I should feel much less cradle on tip-toe. required a free hand for ability disturbed by the prospect of an He would take a chair and gaze in a world field in order to work invasion" if I knew that the in- down at the sleeping child long and effectively" The disasters were vaders were a set of kindly souls lovingly. His aide-de-camp would not isolated. The failure of the who only wanted to see me sleep notice that he was gulping, and We said O.K. and putting his Austrian Crèditanstalt could noting an hour or two longer than that he was wiping the part of the ten bucks carelessly in the pocket be localized. It spelled financial usual. How pleasant to lie in bed gas-mask over his eyes with his that held all our forged $100 notes,
peacefully dreaming of collapse for Germany also. But childhood till the Invasion was mander-in-Chief would say, "did I flapper and half a dozen assistants. one's handkerchief. "George," the Com- departed,, taking with us the office German credit could not break over! If wars must be fought ever show you the photograph of my And in case any of you suspicious without involving Great Britain; nothing, would please me better little Katalpa?" and he would pro- guys start spreading lics about us, BRITISH POLITICAL and to save herself Great Brit- during the next, war than, to be duce from his pocket a well let us tell you right here and now ain was forced to abandon the more or less a Rib Van Winkle till thumbed photograph and hand it that the office flapper went out to gold standard. But Great Bri- the whole thing was over.
silently to George. "Do you notice operate the Teleprinter. We great The fact that Mr. Lloyd tain could not thus change the It may be protested that this is the resemblance, George?" he men always dietate copy to aman- George has organised a new basis of her currency without an unpatriotic attitude and that, would ask, scarcely daring to trust uenses. parliamentary group, consisting affecting the United States. All while one is asleep, one's country himself to speak. "She and my Well, anyway, Burgomaster ran second. From there on we will of thirteen Welsh Liberals, de the countries of the world were will fall into the hands of the little Precious might be twins."
Then the Commander-in-Chief let the Teleprinter tell its own story- seen to be involved. A myste- enemy. I do not for a moment be monstrates two points one that rious something which had been lieve this. I believe, do the con- would make a firm decision. "LG" himself is no longer a there credit, "security-disap- through an invasion is unconquer- clear out of this house before the he lost $5 straight bet and won trary, that a nation that sleeps "George," he would say, "we must Racecourse: Tell MacWhirter serious factor in the House of peared for the moment at least,able.
child wakes up.". "But what," $8.10 place bet, leaving a deficit of Commons; the 'other, that the from the civilized world. For
George would protest, "about the $1.90 Kelly. Liberal Party is still split into the past year the nations have So Very Annoying
prisoners in the other rooms?" Office: Who told you to split several factions. We have be. been struggling to reassert order Tolstoy once told us in "Ivan the "Prisoners be blowed!" the great $10 on Burgomaster win and place? and reestablish the old faith. Fool! that the best way to per-man would reply. "Do you think Explanation pleaseMacWhirter. fore expressed the view that, But do we see any more clearly suade foreigners not to invade that I came all the way from Racecourse: You did-Kelly. to changes in political now, in the light of distance and your country, or at least not to Ruritania to make war on the Office: Re Burgomaster dispute. thought, there is now no real the careful records of the chroni- annex it, was not to resist them. relations of a baby girl who's the Explanation unsatisfactory. room for the Liberals in British clers, the nature of the world Resistance only irritates foreig- dead spit of my little Katalpa?" Would explain that $5 of that $10 political life: that for all intents problem? There is one fact atners and makes them do all sorts And they would tiptoe cautiously was mine. Rest belonged to friend. and purposes the two-party sys- least which seems to stare-us in of things that they would never down the stairs and out into the Now subjected to strong temptation.
dream of doing. if they were not street.
Query. Whose $5, was placed for tem is once again restored. Re. the face. The interests of us all, feeling annoyed. No country ever
as individuals, and of all com- really wants to annex another scenes
And all over England similar win and who wins money placed for cent developments only serve to munities, as nations, are based country: the statesmen of every colonel would be unmanned by
would he enacted. AMacWhirter....
place? Further report requested. emphasise this point. Quite re- upon a dual system, and the conquering country cently, Mr. Lloyd George himself two parts of the system are mous on this point. Countries are asleep who reminded him of his spent the $8.10. Under the cir Racecourse: Since dispute -com- are unani- seeing a whiskered old gentleman menced we have had tifin and have declared, in the course of an not reconciled. As economic annexed only because they exas- Uncle Bill. A young lieutenant cumstances, suggest it immaterial interview, that he saw no future men each of us belongs with perate their invaders by annoying would back out of a bedroom, to whom the money originally be- for Liberalism except a dishon- impartiality to all the world. and opposing them in ourable grave,
every threatening to resign his com- longed-Kelly. adding that The things We
possible way. "Liberalism is in an advanced
mission because his prospective Office: For your information. every
Suppose, however, that Rurit-captive was the image of his Doctor attending Mr. MacWhirter. are made, bought and stage of creeping paralysis." sold in many lands.
ania and England went to war, grandmother, "Credit,'
He threatens take case to Avizan- When asked what was the mat- "confidence," "security" are cle- blow, if it could be called a blow, the skirt of the garment of Saul, Office Staff.
and that Ruritania struck the first Just as David secretly cut off dum; expect judgment | later.--- ter with the party, its former ments in an intricate world net- by sending an enormous air fert as a sign that he had spared him, Racecourse: 516 leader said it did not seem able work of understanding on which to spread a cosy blanket of sleep-so, I fancy, might the Ruritanians doesn't expect $8.10, that's OK.- long as he to make up its mind whether it the modern system rests. was for or against the Govern in a great part of our lives be the result? Thousands of of one of Mr. Winston Churchill's Racecourse (after pause): Good
But ing gas over England, what would before leaving possess themselves Kelly. ment: it preferred to stand at we are entities belonging to an airships and aeroplanes would hats as evidence that they had news. We've discovered office flap- the cross-roads making silly older order-the order in which fellow and land an army to occupy been in England and could have. Per is financial and have put her little rushes this way and that, each country was sufficient to a country that was wrapped in conquered the country if they had money on "The Goat" for next race. then standing hesitatingly until itself, or nearly sufficient. We silence except, perhaps, for an chosen.
If it wins we will liquidate all debts. somebody or something pushed have become politically organiz soldiers, wearing gas-masks, would highly pleased with themselves for caveat. His money must not be
-Kelly. They would, I am sure, be so Parlia-ed on the basis of nationality, march through the streets, awed having been so virtuous that they, hypothecated-Office Staff."
Office: MacWhirter has catered ment, said Mr. Lloyd George, and we normally, think as Amer-by the stillness. Pugnacity would would be in a mood for loving the Racecourse: In absence of die- the Liberals had one eye firmly icans, or as Britons, or French-ooze from them an they felt more English like brothers. And the tionary we will not enter defence. fixed on their Conservative sup-men or Germans. This nationa- and more as if they bad intruded English would feel so refreshed porters to the right, and the lism is healthy enough-and, in-into the Palace of the Sleeping after their long sleep that they
~Kelly. other eye on their Free Trade deed, may be inspiring in the Beauty: supporters to the left. "They highest degree-so long as it
would even feel grateful to the Commander-in-Chief, are presenting the spectacle of a does not ignore the economic membering that he was engaged in played on them.
re- Ruritanians for the trick they had squint-eyed party," he declared. basis on which in fact our eco- These are strong words, but nomic lives are organized. Yet they appear to be a correct apin every part of the globe this preciation of the position. La nationalism has tended to bour sentiment is spreading "at sumie "an economic form, frust- the expense of the Liberals, in rating the operation of the basic proof of which fact Mr. Lloyd system to which civilization is George stated, in the same in- irrevocably committed. terview, that he heard from all parts of the country that Liberal youths were storming into the Labour camp. Young Liberals in Wales had, he added, made up
Vienna has been the scene of their minds that unless there many a colourful pageant during its long and vivid history. was some prospect of Liberalism once again becoming a vital pro- ionable residences fair women From the balconies of its fagh- gressive force, they would join the Labour Party. There will be once waved their kerchiefs as regret in some quarters over the bravely caparisoned potentatea prospect of the complete dis-nificently by to a Congress to and plenipotentiaries rode mag- appearance of the Liberal Party, since it has played an honoured match their wits with those of part in British politics. But it a cold and calculating Metter- has lacked vigorous leadership, ful and vivacious, threw kisses nich. Marie Antoinette, youth- and its policies have latterly be to its cheering populace as she come so nebulous, and so in-left the city by the Danube on distinguishable from moderate her long journey to Versailles Labour opinion, that it. has been to marry the Dauphin of France. squeezed out. This is in accord But perhaps nothing stranger with traditional sentiment, since British political thought does Viennese than the impending has greeted the eyes of the not take kindly to any three-possible transformation of the party system. Ruling out for aristocratic Ringstrasse into a the moment the existence of, a temporary cattle range. For so-called National Government, the milk purveyors of Austria, the position is that there two main elements-the Consist on their rights to stage a are disgruntled at new imposts, in- servatives on the right, and the march of the cows; the lowing Parliamentary Labour Party of five thousand bovines, echo- on the left. The small grouping through the stately cham- which stands midway between bers of the Parlaments-Gebrude, the two, and the extreme left wing of the Labour Party, are and win the day for the may yet cause a stampede ¡of no real account.
protesting milkmen.
it somewhere else. In
day
use
A Congress of Cows
"
as-
occasional 'anore. The Ruritanian.
The
"My mother says your mother never thinks of anything but playing bridge, and just sends you to school to get you
out of the way."
:)
+
Office: Urgent. What do you recommend regarding the $8.107 Suggest you repair it to $10, and reinvest. Have you any tips? "Asparagus" barred.-MacWhirter. Racecourse: "The Goat" is a cert, for the next race.Kel
Office: No. Connected with too. many goats already-MacWhirter.. Office: On second thoughs, I don't know what to do about the- $1.30. Cannot get in touch with my friend, therefore the $1.90 must. be credited to me as additional capital ranking as, dividend inde pendently. Is that clear?-Mac- Whirter.
Racecourse: No, Fear there is a catch in it. Do you mean you will give us another $1.90 bringing our credit up to $10 again?-Kelly.
Office: Up to the present all you have is discredit. Suggest you add $1.90 making capital $10. Then when, wo get a win you rank as second mortgagee-MacWhirter. Racecourse: Yes, bot what hap- pens if we don't have a win?— Kelly.
Office: You must buy your own experience. So far you have done so with my capital. You'll need all the experience that's coming tp you for YOU'LL BE OUT OF A JOB TO-NIGHT!-MacWhirter . Racecourse: Do you want à proof reader?-Kelly,
Office: No. We need a careful- man.-MacWhirter.
Racecourse: Well, what about a transfer to the General Office? -Kelly.
Office: No insurance company would issue a Fidelity Guarantee. MacWhirter.
#
Racecourse: Urgent. Stop Preza. Regret inform you that "The Goat" lost. Offico flapper complaining we swindled her out of $10. Can you advance traní: (Continued on Page 2.):