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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 1933.
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The
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 1933.
are prepared not only to join the movement, but to render that servico which is expected of all connected with It.
MODERN CARDS The Very Idea!
BY ROBERT BENCHLEY
game
MORE BULL
clusion that hitherto our way with bulle, mad or otherwise, has been all wrang.
Modern Education
Not many of you little rascals { For examplo, take one of tho Dy Eddie "Sandow" Kelly: who employ playing cards for your old type of cards, the one involv Radical reforms of education, own diversion or for the diveralon Ing the services of what seems to Only our intimate association. with the close co-operation of the of your funda, know how playing be an old stork and three water with the Dairy Farm, enables us les. I can't quito figure out to speak with authority on the medical profession, formed the cards were first used. theme of a recent lecture before
And I vonture to say that not what the game would be which subject we have, aftor careful con.. the Royal College of Physicians many of you care. So here we could possibly make it lesirable sultation with the other members are, oft on a voyage of explorato draw one of these. Perhaps of the Editorial Board, decided to of London by Dr. L. P. Jacks.tion Into the History of the Playing three of such cards as this and bring before you to-day. The appearance of a lay lecturer Card, or Where Did All That two of another kind showing an Our association with the Dairy before such an audience is not a Money, Go Last Week?
ant-eater and some nasturtiums | Farm dates from the first morning. common occurrence, ́ ́and Dr. Tho oldest existing pinying would be as good as a full-house we arrived home with the milkman. Jacks made full use of his op-cards, aside from those which but I doubt it.
Our subject to-day, therefore, portunities. The current issuo keep in the back of my desk for In the old days cards were ap-I will be "Bull”.
Most people must have wonder- of The Lancet contains a full a patience game called Canfield, (parently designed to fill in those roport of the lecture, from which are in the Staatliches Museum in intervaln in a game during which od at one time or another how far it appears that whatever statis. Berlin, and are Chinese. Don't the player was bored with looking their reserves of innate heroism. tica may prove about the imnak me how Chinese playing cards at his partner (I can understand would function if they found and got into Berlin. Do I know every- that all right) and just wanted themselves being charged by a provements in the health
to while away the time by looking bull. nutrition of the population of thing 7 England in the past fifty a thousand years old, which gives
Suffice it to stay, that they are at pictures.
To take a savage bull by the It would have been much better horns is not done in the best of years, Dr. Jacks is profoundly them perhaps twelve or fifteen just to have got the old album circles. The common practice is dissatisfied with the standard of years on my Canfield pack. My over the pages of clippings. to run away, which given the bull culture of the body. The body Canfield pack, however, has more I used to play a card
such a bad attack of superiority may be more hygienically cared | thumb-mark.
called "Author," which was some complex as goes to his head im for than over before, but it re- These thousand-year-old Chinese thing like this, but, owing to one
mediately.
This has led us to the con- mains uneducated. According to cards would be practically no of the Longfellow cards being information from a teacher of an good for anyone to-day who want-missing from the pack, I was never clementary school in a crowded ed to sit down for a good game in a position to collect much part of London, said Dr. Jacks, of rummy. What corresponds to money out of it. Longfellow hav "not more than 10 per cent, of our Ace (I am told there is such ing been one of my favourites the children know how to brea of scorpions, and the King and collect.
a card in our pack) is a handful and the one I always set out to the, to walk, to stand, to sit, Queen are not like our kings and It was only at the end of two or to speak." This condition is queens, but more like dragons and a half years that I discovered spoken of ns "physical ill with beards and head-dressen. iteracy," a striking phrase used
A gentleman who had been play- to denote the general devitalised ing bridge with a whisky and soda state of the majority of the at his elbow for two hours, would human bodica. "It is impos- never get started bidding if he Even when they got to putting sible," asserted Dr. Jacks, "to found one of those kings or queens pictures that one can understand combine a high-grade culture of in his hand. It would undermine on playing-cards-kinge, queons, the mind with a low-grade his confidence in himself.
jacks, etc-it was a long time be- Dr. Jacks
Authorities differ on the point ford they made them look like culture of the body." gave two striking illustrations Some say that it was the Exyp-a look at the Queen you will se of the invention of playing cards. anything at all. If you will take of how forms of rhythmical tians, some the Arabe, while others that she looks so much like physical education introduced maintain that it was part of an Jack that there is no fun in it. into schools had enabled the old Phoenician torture system by Furthermore, she has a very un- children to learn their lessons which a victim was handed thirteen pleasant expression on her face and master the technique of cards and made to lay them down, and I'll bet that she sings soprano sciences and languages in half one by one, in the proper sequence, without being asked, the time taken by others not the proper sequence being known so trained. Such a liberal educa-only to an Inquisitor known as the tion of the body as Dr. Jacks
If the cards were not laid down urges should be an integral part of the great programme of pre ventive medicine.
Population
Partner.
that there weren't enough Long fellows to go around. I have since found out the same thing about accs.
B
an
MOTOBO
where I'm not wanted-and one
game.
of the many places is in a card For this I have a very simple solution: I stick to patience, where a man has at least a fight- ing chance to cheat,
This is a bad thing. The beat way to preserve yourself when charged by a buff is to return the compliment and, waving your armas and shouting at the top of your voice. rush towards it as fast as you can, when, according to our theory, the bull will turn taff and balt.
The only drawback about this information is that there are not enough bulls in Hongkong to g round.
Speaking for ourself, we are now impatiently awaiting the appear. ance of the bull which, somewhore and somehow, fate may have in store for us.
We have always suspected that there's one thing we can't stand bulls were cowards at heart. If it's a timid bull,
We had to get rid of our last ball because he squibbed his first
to us with his tail-between his
that out of him.
• *
A LATE NICHT.
We are prepared at all times to' all times to try everything once. So we dropped into one of these Dancing Academics last night.
Thure was something. warmly cosmopolitan about ita dash of Montmartre about its Fountain Court, Garden Cafe, and Dance Floor.
The last-named is free to all
*
*
unusual
on this occasion we believe that the general public would like to participate in our elation.
We, in fact, won the first prize in the office sweep on the Second
Test Match.
It was a mere matter of $25, but nevertheless a distinct victory.
We are carefully recording the fact now, with a view to avoiding such a calamity in future.
THE TOC H. SPIRIT
It has always seemed to me that the King and Queen in any Thanks to two instructive ad-
ordinary pack were based on real fight. Used to come whimpering dreases by the Rev. F. E.
characters in history, a King and ("Bobs") Ford, Hongkong has
in the sequence prescribed by the a Queen who never got along. We tried for years to belt now been made fully acquainted
Inquisitor the victim was strung very well together and wanted to with the Toc H. movement and
up by the thumbs and glared at separate. If the King saw the until he was dead of mortification. Queen approaching (in my hand, all that its stands for. Its sponsors were animated by
I rather incline to this last at any rate), he ducked up
the theory of the origin of the playing alley and gold to very admirable idenl-the pre-
Jack: servation, for the common good, Under the title, "Problems of card. But that may be because "Listen, son, you go that way and
I am bitter.
I'll go this, and I' meet you of that wonderful spirit of com- Population," there were publish- radeship which the Great War ed recently the proceedings of playing cards and
There is also a theory that when the game is over at Tony's. chess were Don't let the Old Lady get in produced. But the comradeship the International Population originally the same game. This touch with you. She'll only make now envisioned is not one fos-Union at a general assembly of might very well be, although I trouble." tered by the common purpose of representative scientists from don't see where card-players would warfare; it is the linking of most of the European countries, get the chance to sleep that chese- the Jack goes another, and I am holders of tickets from $10 up-
So the King goes one way and kindred spirits for A much America and Japan. The fact players do. A good chens-player stuck with the Queen and anwards. It features a female band, worthier aim, namely, service that populations in Europe and
can tear off anything from forty eight-four-two, with a six of some to humanity in the everyday America are increasing at A
to sixty-five winks a move, if he other suit, and others to match. which combines the affairs of life. Surely there can slower rate is, by now, generally with his hand, but a card-player is the real history of the charac-
is clever at it, and hides his eyes This, according to my theory, qualities of playing both in tune and pyjamas, and A free danco be no higher aim than this. recognised. Professor Bowley has at least got to sit up straight ters in our playing-cards.
partner, At first glance, it might ap has calculated that, given a con- and do something.
They Now we're on the subject of pear that there is a danger of tinuance of present trends, the
were the most unhappy royal family It may not be the thing to do, in any of the old-time chronicles, Kirls (we rely on you not to pursue the movement overlapping on to population of England will but he has got to do something, and somebody thought that the subject), let us say that the the activities of other organisa- have reached its peak by about I have often wished, as a matter would be a good idea to put them attendants and waitresses--dress- tions, but it is one of the dis- 1941; by about 1951 it will be of fact, that bridge could be on playing-cards just to tortured in the "Lest We Forget" maner tinctive characteristics of Toc back at the level of 1931, after handled in the same way as choss, me personally. I don't know about but we rely on you not to pursue H. that it does not compete with which we should witness a more for if were given time and a the early cards, with the duck the subject. other bodies. It can, however, or less rapid decline. The first good excuse for covering my face shooters and ant-eater-stalkers on
OUR SWEEP WINNINGS, and does co-operate with and result of this will be that the could do an awful lot, better at them.
But I venture to say that, if
With becoming modesty we wish supplement the work of or- proportion of old people, already bridge than I do.
If, when my partner led with a ganisations already in existence. high, will steadily increase, with four of clubs, I could cup my hand would all be in the conspiracy, at cricket. It is not often that we I were playing the game. they to make public our recent success In particular, it holds itself in disturbing economic and social over my brow and pondor, let us too. I don't mean to be
have been given to boasting, but readiness to furnish mun-power consequences. To what extent say for two minutes and a half, which may be needed in almost birth control is bringing about I might figure out what the devil about the thing, but I know any walk of life; in this way the decline is an interesting but it was she meant by her lead. its members are able to find vexed question. It is even dis- Whether or not chessmen and channels through which they puted that it is playing any playing-cards were once all a part can discharge their obligation remarkable part. An investiga- of the same great big game, the of service. Here in the Easttion carried out by Dr. Raymond fact remains that a lot of the old there would appear to be ample Pearl, of Baltimore, showed, playing-cards look as if they be scope for Toc H. work. Young after examining 2,000 cases that longed to some other game." men coming out from Home all the rate of fertility in women too often find themselves faced using contraceptives was higher, with difficulties, problems and not lower, than that found in templations, many of which women who made no attempt at would not exist for them if they birth control. Certain other in- could immediately get into quiries have produced similar touch with fellow-spirits who results. It is agreed that the would make them feel at home nineteenth century population and pilot them through their increase was largely due to the early days abroad. That is one advance of medicine and hygiene, respect in which the movement which reduced so notably the can have a distinct value. Then rate of infant mortality. It is there is the good fellowship curious, in this connexion, to which is the best method of find the result that after a time- breaking down social barriers, lag of about twenty years a de- and the opportunities which are finite correlation is found be opened up for a freer mixing tween a falling infant mortality between residents and the men and a rising maternal death- of the Navy and the merchant rate. Thus in New Zealand the marine. But of even deeper infant mortality is the lowest value and significance than these and the maternal death-rate the things is the spirit for which highest in the world. Chile has Toc H. stands. It is not rules the highest infant and the lowest which the movement propagates, maternal morality. Australia, so much as a code of honour, coming second in one list, is next and members who join it are to the bottom in the other. expected from the first to play & Scotland and the Scandinavian part, according to their aptitude, countries follow. England and in the life and work and spirit Wales occupy an intermediate of the team. That there is
position. Another theory which room for the display of this after prolonged research is said spirit in Hongkong is not open to have been established is that to question, for which reason it
n declining population is is reassuring to learn that there dominantly masculine. A rising la every likelihood of a Group population has a surplus of being formed in the Colony females, but, as decline sets in. Given the enthusiasm which is the proportion of male. birthe characteristic of Toc H. mem-rises-and consequently infer- bers everywhere, much really tility may become a cumulative useful work can be accomplished and accelerated progress. The here. It is up to the young men result must be a widespread of the Colony to show that they change in custom and morality.
pre-
"Every so often some Soel ety comes marching in here, de-
manding that I turn my birds loose."
We want to guard our readers against the terrible evils of gambling, so append our balance nheet.
Credit.
To first prize in sweep $25.
Debit.
By expendituro on tickets for aelf and Mrs. Kelly, at 50c, per ticket $1.50.
6Q
By Consolation prizes, little K's.
By Chocolates. Ofice Flapper, who drew blanks $5.
on
By rofreshments, sundry gentle- men who congratulated us victory $11.
By tip to Office boy, who report-
ed victory boc.
By telephone to Mrs, K. re result 10c,
By cigar to celebrate victory Goc. By gloves, promised Mra. K.' in ovent of victory $7.50.
My frat prize, collected by Mrs. K. $25.00
We hate to think what would happen if we won the first prize in tho Irish Sweep!
of
Our Now Thriller,
+
THE BODY IN THE DELFRY.
The Chowed Churchwarden. It will make you
START TO-DAY.
Boom boom-boom-and,
to
cut a long story short, niab (0) more booms, making twelve in all Bg Bon was telling the world-that high noon had como to,
London,
fare
bush-
· In Hongkong's country it. was-Crash!