HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Teacher: "In which zone is the United States of America ?
Boy: "In the temperance zone, sir."
"How do you get such excellent fitting suits from your tailor 1"
"He believes I'm an orchestra leader."
"Mother, can I keep a diary?" "Certainly, Willie." "Well, it's one I found in Sis- ter's desk:"
First Picnicker: Isn't this an ideal spot for a pienie dinner
Second Ditto: It must be wrong, Fifty million inscets can't be..
"I hear the nursemaids are on strike. What's it all about *r་
They're demanding taximaters on the babies, perambulatora."
"Women, in my opinion, are dif- ferent now from what they used to be,"
"How's that?”
There's my daughter, for in stanco she's taking up the law, "whereas her mother always lays it down."
"I suppose you'll want me to give up my job, Honry, when we Are married "
"How much do you earn?" "Fire pounds a week." "That's not a job. It's a carrer. I wouldn't want to interfere with your career, darling."
Teacher: "History states, From time to time the age limits were extended until at last it was said that the enemy was robbing the cradle to get soldiers for its ar
uies.""
Pupil: "Oh, I know what kind of soldiers they were. They call
them the infantry !"
Mrs. Nurich was going abroad for six months and she was forced to leave her beloved Dodd in the care of a dog's home.
"Dode is very fussy about tris food," said the woman to the at- tendant "I want to be sure that he gets the very "best.".
The attendant picked up the small dog in his hands.
"That's all right, mum," he said, off-handedly. We don't feed any of the blogs the first day after they come in, and then they ain't so fussy."
“Look at the lovely radio sot I got to-day, dear, and only $5 month."!
"For how many months 1 "Oh, I forgot to ask."
"Be careful, Junior, Seo that you don't hit you fingers with the hammer,"
"I shan't, Mother, Daddy's go- ing to held the nail for me!"
"My wife takes excellent cars of mishe takes off my shoes for me every evening.""
When you come in?"
"No, when, I want to go out!”
Mother: "Frankie,, these are le mens you brought from the store. I told you to get eggs."
Franke: "I know, Ma, but the rond slippery, and I thought d better get lemons."
Weather Man: "Put down rain for a certainty this afternoon."
Assistant: "Are you positive, sir 1'!
Weather Man: "Yes, indeed, I've lost my umbrella, I'm planning to play golf, and my wife's giving "a lawa party.
A grammar-school student, was set a question in an examination paper: I. 20 men reap a field in eight hours, how long will it take 15 men to reap the same feld."
carefully before writing the answer, The student though long and
and when be handed in his paper this is what the examiner read:
The field having been reaped by the 20 men could not be reaped by the 15"
It's one of the most amazing and baffling tricks. And we do it. per- fectly.
The disappearing girl stunt looks like the work of an amateur in comparison.
We take the thing between the third and fourth fingers. Hold it up. Let everyone see it. Invite anyone to examine it carefully.
Then presto!. . It's gone! Vanished. Absolutely and comple- Just tely. Not up our sleeve. gone.
we
It's a weird act. We've done it for years. It's so mystifying we have given up trying to figure it out. Can't even recall when learned the trick. But then other people seem to have the same trouble every week with their salaries.
CENTRAY THEATRE
Paramount's Sound Pictures R
TO-DAY ONLY
Daily at 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9,20.-
BROADWAY'S DRAMA SENSATION!"
MOTO start-
ling
than
anyTMTM
thing
you have ever
seen or heard's
GEN- TLEMEN
OF THE
PRESS
a Para- mount
· A11—
Talking Picture
WALTER
AND
HUSTON
KATHERINE FRANCIS
IN
"GENTLEMEN
of the
PRESS
People paid $4 and $5 to see this drama on the stage
ALSO
Desperate Sam
2 Parts Sound Comedy
AND
'Noah's Lark”
Sound Novelty.
NEXT CHANGE WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 3- All-Talking-Singing Dancing-Technicolor Hal Skelly & Nancy Carroll
THE DANCE OF LIFE
From the Stage hit "BURLESQUE
Paramount Super-Production.
BOOKING AT ANDERSON AND THE THEATRE TELEPHONE 25720
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1930.
PARADE
IS TAKING LEISURELY STROLL
-
PAUSES TO LOOK IN DRUG STORE WINDOW. BEGINS TO TAP WITH FOOT IN TIME WITH
BAND
GUYAS WILLIAMS
HEARS DISTANT SOUND. OF A BAND JUST
ANOTHER PARADE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
STROLLS ON HAS NO DESIRE TO WATCH". ANY PARADE'. JUST A LOT OF NONSENSE
WALKS ON: FINDS HIM- SEES BAND PASSING SELF UNCONSCIOUSLY #TWO BLOCKS AWAY. SWINGING INTO MARCH-
ING STEP
ABANDONED ON GLACIER.
INJURED WOMAN WITH
CHILDREN ROBBED.
An astonishing story concerning the recent incident on Theodule Pass, near Zermatt, when a woman among a party of Italian fugitives broke her leg and was left in the snow, is related by the Gazette de Lausanne.
It was at first reported that the other members of the party made hey as comfortable as possible and went on to Zermatt for help. The Lausanne paper alleges that the party acted in a heartless fashion.
The woman who was accompanied by her two little girls, was one of a party of ten. On the pass, cover „ed overnight with 18 inches of snow, she fell exhausted. The others at tempted to restore her with alcohol and she proceeded, supported by the
men."
Near Gardegg But she slipped and fell, breaking her leg. Hor companions, it is stated, then abandoned her on the edge of a glacier about a hundred yards from the hut, took her money and made for Zermatt.
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Ins)
COLOURS THAT SCARE
A FLY.
JAM FACTORY PROTECTED BY YELLOW GLASS.
In the course of the report, issued last mouth of the Chief Inspector of Factories and Workshops there occurs the following interesting note on the house fly-
STOPS TO LISTEN TO BAND WHICH SEEMS NEARER", WONDERS WHAT THE PARADE IS" ALL ABOUT
STANDS, ABSORBED, FOR HALF AN HOUR, WATCH- ING PARADE OF OYSTER OPENERS ASSOCIATION'S ANNUAL OUTING
7-4
HONG KONG POLICE RESERVE.
[ORDERS BY THE HON. ME. ED. C. WOLFE, C.M.U., INSPECTOR- GENERAL OF POLICE.]
Aquatic Sports., Members of the Police - Reserve are reminded that the entries for the 9th annual aquatic sports of the Police and Prison Departments to be held at the V.R.C. on Saturday, September 13, must be sent to Sergeant R. J. Hunt on or before September 8.
Genaral.
16.
THE SILVER SCREEN..
NEW EFFECT IN SOUND
"AND COLOUR,
Sound and colour have been successfully combined on the same narrow strip of motion picture film and the surprisingly successful com bination will be seen at the Central Theatre, to-morrow in "The Dance. of Life," the all-talking, all-sing ing, all-dancing picturization of the successful stage play, Burlesque."
The perfected sound-and-colour procesa his been used to photograph" and record a lavish stage revue in The Dance of Life." The stage and performers appear in natural colours, showing the brilliant jewels, the gorgeous gowns, the dancing chäruses and beautiful settings. Eighty dancing girls are. used in the production and the sound of their steps and voices are distinctly heard. A 32-piece orches- tra and the song of a soloist are packed together on a single bit of celluloid scarcely more than an inch square.
The perfected system of combin ing sound and colour on motion picture film is the work of scientists of the Technicolour Corporation, working with sound engineers of the Paramount studios. The use of this "process in The Dance of Life" is the first that has been successful enough to presen to the public.
"The Dance of Life," a story of life behind and before the fontights, is particularly adapted to the use of this medium. In the sequences where colour is used, the elaborate stage presentations, which work into the plot of the story, are in- tensified by the use of colour.
TO-DAY'S WIRELESS
PROGRAMME.
BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON 368 METRES,
It was noticed in a large jam factory where the windows of the warehouse had been glazed with yellow glass to prevent discolora Revolver Practice The regular. tion of the jam by the action of weekly revolver practice (volun- daylight that bouse flies never entary) will take place at the Bowen tered the warehouse, though there Road Revolver Range on Wednes- 11 to 11.30 am--Commercial News. were plenty in the corridors. day, September 3, from 6.30 p.m. Messrs. Pilkington Bros., Ltd., the makers of the glass, contributed a record of this to Nature, and added that they had experimented under advice from Professor New stead and found that:
་
"Other things being equal, the house fly prefers white light to coloured light, and that red and yellow are the best deterrents. Blue and green are not narly so effective. The loss in illumination with red pass being too great for general use, it appears that yellow is the best. Although it cannot be claimed that the use of yellow. glass is an absolute preventivve, it is a very effective deterrent and valu- able for use in connection with the storage of food.
Her cries and those of the two children who remained with their "We do not suggest the use of mother awoke people sleeping in the yellow glass for say building in hut, who went out and brought her which people are continually em- in Zermatt was informed by teleployed, because it has been found phone and police held up the party that yellow light is bad for the
eyes and general health.
on arrival.
SHIRLEY MASON
IN
"The WIFE'S RELATIONS"
with GASTON GLASS
BEN TURPIN FLORA FINCH
Everybody is familiar with The • Wife's Relations," but few know the proper way to handle them.. The Wife's Relations reveals all the 'secrets.
A SOCIAL STORM IN
WASHINGTON,
EDITRESS AND SPEAKER'S WIFE.
Social and political Washington's summer calm has been crudely dis- turbed by the outbreak of a long- smouldering foud between Mrs. Alice Roosevelt. Longworth, wife of the Speaker of the House of He- presentatives, and Mrs. Eleanor Patterson, the former Countess Gizycka, who recently became editor of the Washington Herald...
Under the heading "Interesting but Not True," prominently dis played on the newspaper's frant page, the new editor denied storica that Mr. Longworth would taks part actively in the Illinois sena torial campaign on behalf of Mrs. Ruth Hanah McCormick, who is a cousin of Mrs Eleanor Patterson.
The truth is," wrote Mra Pat terson, "that Mrs. McCormick takes no advice, political or other- wise, from Mrs. Longworth. Her assistance will therefore resolve it aelf, as usual, into poring for
programme.
to 7.30 p.m. It will be open to all 11.30 sm to 12.30 p.m-Chinese ranks of the H.K.P.. Special Con- stables, Chinese Company and 12.20 p.m.-European programme." Flying Squad, Hong Kong Police Reserve and to all persons holding 1.30 p.m.-Weather report. permits to carry arms....
Police Training School, The weekly classes for Falice Reservists at the Police Training School, Kowloon, will be held on Tuesday, September 2, at 5.30 p.m. All members of the Chinese and Indian Companies, and of the Flying Squad who have not yet passed Part 2 of Training Course should attend. They
Ohinese Company. Revolver Practice:-Members, of Chinese Company, who have passed | Parts 1 and 2 of Training Course, will attend at the Bowen Road Revolver Range on Wednesday evening, September 3, at 6 p.m. sharp for revolver practice under Musketry Instructor E. Carpenter.
Indian Company. Parade-All ranks of the Indian Company are reminded of the parade to be held at Police Head- quarters under P/Sergeant R. J. Hunt on Tuesday, September 2, at 5.30 p.m. sharp. Dress: White uni form, belt and cap with white cover.
Flying Squad.
Revolver Practice:All ranks of the Flying Squad (Hong Kong Sec- tion) will attend at the Bowen Road Revolver Range on Wednesday, September 2, at 5.30 p.m. sharp for revolver practice, under Musketry: Instructor E. Carpenter,
The weekly instructional patrol of the Kowloon Section will take place on Tuesday, September 2 Fall in at Taimteatsui Fire Brigade. Station at 6.30 p.m. sharp. Dress: Khaki uniform and cap with khaki cover.
The weekly instruction patrol of the Hong Kong Section will take place on Friday, September 5. Fall in at the Central Police Station at 6.15 p.m. sharp, Drean: Khaki uni- form and cap with khaki cover.
Sharpshooters". Company,
2. p.m.-Close down.
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
Ar 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
Elinor Glyn
tells what
a man can do with "IT
SUCH MEN ARE DANGEROUS
with s
WARNER BAXTER CATHERINE DALE OWEN
HEDDA HOPPER. ALBERT CONTI Presented by WILLIAM FOX
FOX NEWSREEL,
CARS CRASH
IN 500 MILE RACE
WORLD
THE
CHINESE DRAMA
6 p.m.--European programme of "The CHANGING
Victor records selected and supplied by Mesars. "Moutrie &
Co.
Dreams of Schubert Medley
Waltz-Hungarian
Orchestra.
Rhapsody
The Old Superh (Stanford)" and
AGE
Homeward Bound (Stanford), TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
Peter Dawson, Bass. Baritone.
and Emperor-Waltz (Strauss), Gold and Silver-Waltz (Lebar)
International Novelty Orch...
At 280, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
Tannhauser-Evening Star (Wag (Interpreter at All Performances)
ner)
and Two Grenadiers (Schumann), Reinald Werren. rath, Baritone.
A Night in Vienna (Paepke) and A Night in Budapest (Paepke), Hungarian Rhapsody Orch. Gonna Get a Girl-and Just Like a Butterfly, Melville Gideon, Baritone.
Martha-Overture (Flotow) and Under the Bazunks Tree), Vic- tor Symphony Orchestra.. The Good Little Boy and The "Bad Little Boy, Norman Long,
Humourons. Y
Gems from Tales of Hoffman:" (Offenbach) and Gems from "Mignon" (Thomas), Victor Opera Company. Sincerity (Clarke) and Ob, Could I But Express in Song (Malash- kin), Peter Dawson; Bass Bari- tone.
Jewels of the Madonna-Inter
mezzo Victor Symphony Orch. Ethiopia Saluting the Colours (Wood) and Son of Mine (Wal- lace), Stuart Robertson, Bari- tone.
Gypsy Souvenir-Medley Waltz and Hungarian Flower-Waltz, Hungarian Rhapsody Orch Glory of the Sea (Sanderson) and The Border Ballad (Cowed), Peter Dawson, Bass Baritone. The Waltzing Doll (Poldini) änd At Dawning (Cadman), Victor Concert Orchestra,
Revolver Practice: The usual fortnightly revolver practice will not be held on Wednesday, Sep tember 3, as the range is not avail- able that day, but will take place The printed announcement has on September 10 at the usual hour,
The Pride of Tipperary (Look caused excited gossip at Washing- Motor Patrol: A detachment of head) and Simon the Cellarer, toundwavebede fermendering the Company will, socompany the Peter Dawson, Bass Baritone... whether Mrs. Patterson will now Flying Squad on their weekly patrol La Polama-Waltz (Yradier) and use her monume, to chadition Me Tu Fray Jopabendroth Dan Malts cause of Mrs Dolly Gann, sister with cars and motor cycles will fall
Stahl's Band.
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW || photographs."
At 2.30-5.30, 7.20 & 9.20 p.m
AT THE
MAJESTIC
Nathan Road, Kowloon.
Theatre
of Vice President Curtis, whose in at Police Headquarters at 108 p.. Relay from the Ko Shing social status is challenged by Mr. p.m. sharp. Uniform; Caps with 5 p... Longworth The Speaker's wife khaki covers, tunics, shorts, putteos, maintaing that in the absence of a belts, holsters and revolvers. Mrs. Curtis (the Vice President is
(Bgd.) D. L. KING
CD.S.P.(EZE bachelor) she should have proced
Hong Kong, September 1, 1930. ence over Mrs. Dolly Gana.
STAR
ROD LA ROCQUE
PREPILATION
CASEWE PREVENT
RESURRECTION
by
COUNT LEO
TOLSTOY
DOLORES DEL RIO
Again They Meet, Now in a Courtroom!
*Would ha. betray her again?? The question burned in her as It will in youỤ Ta
See the amazing climax to this... “MASIE THEARN of in romancer.-
in a fesh" and blood, drama of [all time."
pim. Weather report Relay TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
continued
AT 5.30 & 9.20.
11 p.m.-Close down.