Page
MASON'S
DELICIOUS
O.K.
SAUCE.
Library, Supreme Court
Press.
Hongkong Daily Press.
No.22,490 號拾玖百肆仟式萬弍第 日廿月陸閏年午庚
Hygienic Because Machine Squeced
KIA DRA CHANGE
Made from
ORANGES
AND LEMONS
WHAT COULD · BE+ 'MORE HEALTHFUL?
Made from Fruit Juice, crashed from. selected fresh tree-ripened fruit and cane sugar. No need to bother with
home-made Bquash.
NOTHING EQUALS
KIA-ORA
LEMON AND ORANGE
SO ECONOMICAL-JUST ADD WATER
Obtainable from all Stores and from the Sole Agents
CALDBECK MACGREGOR & CO., LTD.
(Zacorporated ander the Companion Ordinance of Hong Kong).
Prince's Ballding
Ice House Street.
Telephone 20078.
HONG KONG, CANTON AND MACAO STEAMERS.
JOINT SERVICE OF THE HONG KONG, CANTON AND MACAO STEAMBOAT Co., LTD., AND THECHINA NAVIGATION CO.,LTD.
HONG KONG-DANTON LINE,
Sundays
(Sundays
Ballings from Hong Kong:Daily, at 8AM. & 10.00P.M.Į, 10.00 ..only) Bailings from Canton: Daily, at 8AM. & 4.50 P.M. 1450 PM only
HONG KONG MACAOʻLINE. SAILINGS From HỌNG KONG-Daily at 8 am & 2p.m. (Bundays excepted) BAILINGS From MACAO- Daily at 8 am, & 9 p.m. (Sundays excepted)'
EXCURSIONS TO MACAO:~
SUNDAY, 24TH AUGUST. 8.8301 TAI"
Will depart from the Company's Wing Lok Street Wharf at 9 AM. and from Macao at 4.00 PM
Steamboat Company's Steamers are fitted with Wireless.
NOTE
TELL THE SHROFF
to make out a Chit for.
$8.00 and send it with
your Home Address to
11, Ice House Street,
In return, we will send
you the Weekly Prair for Bix Months.
ARTS &
CRAFTS.
MANUFACTURERS OF
ETCHED, STAINED AND LEADED GLASS
FOR
Where to have Tiffin To-day?
LANE CRAWFORD'S
RESTAURANT.
MENU.
Today's Tiffin-81.35.
1.-Bouillon
2.-Fish Cream in Aspic
3.-Hamburg Steak and Poached Egg
4-Grilled Dairy Farm Sausage, Mashed Potatoes and Oniona
Roast Chicken and Dressing
INTERIOR DECORATIVE 8-Cold Leg of Lamb, Mized Salad
WORK
ESTIMATES FREE
ARTS & CRAFTS,
LIMITED.
(INCORPORATED In Hong Kong)
-8, WYDHAM ST.
7-Bosst Potatoes
Boiled Potatoes
PROX 24173.7
11-Frit
Glace with
Cream
13. Col
ESTABLISHED 1857.
Rapletared an a Newspaper at the General:
Post Office in the United Kingdom.......
HONG KONG, THURSDAY, AUGUST 21, 1930. # H&#X¶¢ĦBA Price
HUMOUR AS AN
INTERNATIONAL
BOND.
SCOTSMEN AND JEWS AS PEACEMAKERS.
JOKES THAT RAISE SMILES ALL ROUND THE WORLD.
"A Scot opened bis parse, and
a moth flew out!"
A Chinese Retake.
The Germans and the Swiss never fail to fall for," a joke against doctors. A Swiss told me this quite recently. A doctor was showing a woman a fine tiger skin.
"Yes," he said, "* one of my friends wounded it, but it was I who finished it off.”
And this floated through the
That might as easily have been That is a classic one-line laugh that has tieded the sun ang used in an English, American, or world. First published in an Eng-German Journal. But here's a lish newspaper, it was speeding out warning. I once told & mother-in- of the country by wire, wireless, law story to a Chinese. It all but and cable to Europe, America, and Jost me his friendship. He listened the East, almost before Britain gravely to my chuckling and then
Now, now, doctor," cooed the bad begun to smile. Within a week told me frigidly that he had made
woman, "you'll never make": me be it had appeared in 20 different mistake-be had once thought meteve that this tiger was one of your languages in every corner of the a gentleman."
patients!" earth. White, black, brown, red, Chinese of all classes regard home and yellow faces had opened from and family ties as sacred. Ang-ether the other night from a Ger- the centre because of it. It com- thing that disparages a mother or man wireless slation:- prised the perfect Esperanto laugh father, by marriage is sacrilege. Doctor (after examining -joke the whole world under-Much the same applies to Indians, patient): You are suffering from stands.
When an Indian calls rou his alcoholic abuse and a weak heart.” Brevity and WB.
father and his mother, he is paying Patient: "You'd better give me The reasons were its brevity and you the highest possible compli- something for the heart!" its simple language. It contained ment. Yet he is invariably guilty no double meanings or play upon of an unconscious joke whenever words. A Scot is a Scot, a purse he wishes to be unusually polite. is a purse, and a moth a moth, A stock phrase for such occasions in any language. The joke is as far Sabib, you are my father good in Sanskrit or Bantu asia and my mother, and I am the son English.
of a pig! It never strikes him: as funny! These references to Chinese and Indian sentiment are
Not all jokes that appeal to English-speaking people make for eigners smile. You have heard that yarn, no doubt, of the Eng- lishman, the Scot, and the Jew who went into a public-house, the Eng- od a round of drinks, the Scot stood six foot two, and the Jew stood in silent admiration
Untranslateable Jokes.
more amusing than accurate.]
Grim American Humour.
American Humour includes skits on domestic differences that would
offend many people in this country. Thus, a prominent journal had a sketch recently of a young wife with a revolver in her band and a little girl looking up at her. The mother is saying: "Ran and get the
movie camera, dear; mamma's Even before Prohibition "gave a
going to shoot at papa again! *** glut of drinking jokes to the world, And another of a husband return- the subject of alcohol was a univering home at Christmas time to find sal smile winner Spain was laugh bore the exptich: By Jove, I his wife embracing another man— ing the other day at the story of a forgot the "mistletoe 15 da man whose oculist had told him that his weak sight was due to too
That is the sort of joke that is much drink. "On the contrary." only funny in English. Try to tran- the man replied, "when I drink I slate it into, say, French or German see double! And the adventures and you are lost. The core of the of the heavy father and timid joke is the triple meaning of the suitor raise a smile in every land verb "to stand." There is no where a man and a maid make love. equivalent word in any other lan-I pick this
one from Rome
guage,
She: What You come to ask The alleged meinners of the Scot my hand armed with a rifle 1" f and the Jew's shrewd bargaining are He: Well, you see, someone, subjects of world-wide appeal. That told me your father was an old is because Jews and Scots are bear!!! more widely distributed over the earth's surface than are any other
"Dear Old Lady" Jokes. nationals. Mothers-in-law, too, are The dear old lady yarn is good for a laugh in most countries.known in every country except in A Portuguess paper published the the East, where age is venerated, following recently:-
This is from Belgium. A young Judge: You are accused of man has taken his elderly aunt to killing your mother-in-law.
Accused: "I did it out of pity, the theatre. He tells her that the sir."
next act takes place a year later.
Old Lady Are you sure our tickets will still be valid 1
Judge: "Out of pity, Accused: Yes, sir, out of pity for myself!!!
The Rstort Diacourteous,
Just as American humour is slick,
German ponderout, and Chinese polite, so the main characteristic of the French has always been an aptitude for the quick retort. Prince Talleyrand, the famous diplomat, limped badly, and one day on entering a room he was met by a woman with a bad sqaint.
Monsieur de Talleyrand," she exclaimed, how you walk!" In a flash came the answer "As you see, madam, all cock eyed!'"*
Whether your face is white, black, of yellow, a laugh makes brothers of us all.
More details are leaking out in Paris regarding the Alpine manoru
which are to be held towards the end of this month in the Franco- Italian border region. The most interesting of these details is that 70 specially designed and construct
tanka will be tried out on this occasion in an attempt to force the most difficult Alpine passes, some of which rise to a height of over 2,500 metres.
Diary of Coming Events.
To-day. (August 1.)
Queen's Theatre: Dames Aboy." World Theatre: Redeeming
Sin
Benorita."
Star Theatre: Central Theatre: Tilusion." Majestic Theatre: The Legion of the Condemned."
European Mail-Outward: Europe rid Siberia (Tatsuta Maru), 8.30 6.m
Dinner Dance Peninsula Hotel, 8.30 p.m.
European Mail. —Inward? Europe vid Negapatam (Hakone Maru) Outward: Europe vid Siberia (Hakone Maru), 3.30 p.m.
Tides High, 7.16 a.m. and 9.40 p.m.; Low, 12.28 am and 3.02 p.m.
Saturday, (August 23.) Queen's Theatre : Dames Ahoy, World Theatre: "Redeeming
Tidos High; 6.15 1.m. and 9.08 .p.m.; Low, 2.90 p.m.
Sin.
Friday. (August. 22) Queen's Theatre: Dames Ahoy World Theatre Redeeming
Sin:
Star Favo Central Theatre: “Illu Kowloon Cricket Club, Extraordi- dary General Meeting, 5.30 p.m. *** Lammert's Auction of Furniture, Salesroom, 2.30 p.m.
Water Polos Div. RA. China Athletic??
Star Theatres "Senorita " Central Theatre: "Ilusion." Baseball Filipinos v. Japaness, Lawn Bowla-1st Div: Craigen gowar . Taikoo, Kowloon C.Cor. Civil Servico, Kowloon Dock 2nd Div. Taikoo Craigengower,
creio Bowling Green, Yacht Club. 7. Electric R.OMA
Tex Dunce: Peninsula Hotel, p
Dinner Dance: Repulse Bay Hotel 8.30 pm
European Mail.-Inward: Europe *d Siberia (Pres. Polk) Outward:
Europesa Mail:Outward Europe vi4 Marseilles (Kamo Mara), 9.30a.m.; Europe vid Vic toria, B.C. (Protesilaus), 10.30 s.m
Tides: High, 8.73 a.m. and 10.10 p.m.; Low, 1.37 am and 3.89 p.m.
Sunday. (August 31)
Central Theatre. The Four Feathers"
Baseball South China v. Kiaoras Tides High, 9.00a.m. and 10.30. p.m. Lam 2.20 am and 4.15 p.m.
Monday (August 25.) Central Theatro The
BE NOB mencing 10.30
Auctio
Water Polo-let Div. Kowloon 8.C Royal Navy.
Tides High, 10.3 a.. and 11.08 p.m. Low 3.25 am and 4.50 pim...
THE
HONGKONG
PENINSULA HOTEL, HONG KONG HOTEL; REPULSE BAY HOTEL; PEAK HOTEL
AND
SHANGHAI
ASTOR HOUSE HOTEL: "PALACE HOTEL
HOTELS,
LIMITED.
IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE GRAND HOTEL DES WAGONS, LITE, PEPING,
The Only Hotel in CANTON Directly under European" Management
THE VICTORIA HOTEL
SHAMEEN
Guides
and Trips arranged for
́and Special" Cere Taken of TOURISTS. “VICTORIA.";
Cable Address:
N. LAZARUS,
OPTICIANS
12, Queen's Road Central
(Single Copy, 10 cts. | Per Month, $3.
BATHING
COSTUMES:
in the Latest Styles and Colours
are obtainable froute THE HONG KONG SPORTING: ARMS & AMMUNITION STORE, 5-6, BEACONSFIELD ARCADE
FOR SALE
TESTED FLOWER & VEGETABLE SEEDS.
Indiestiems point to a heavy demand for Seeds this Season. To be sure of getting every variety you wish we sug gest that you order to-day.
GRACA & CO., DEALERS IN GARDEN SIDS, POSTAGE STAMPS, POSTCARDS, TOTE, Ero. No.10, WYNDHAM STREET, P.O. Bax No. 620. HONG KONG.
ON SALE.
OUND" VOLUMES
the
BOHONG KONG WEEKLY PRESS January to June, 1929.
WITH INDEX, PRICE $7.50.
HONGKONG DAILY ĮPRESS.
Courtesy, Comfort, Service and Luxuries of Modern Hotel
Construction
THE HOTEL RIVIERA MACAU
Cable Address Riviera, "Macau.
THE STANDARD LIFE ASSURANCE CO.
£1,000 on attaining the age of. Fifty-five Premiums moderate
ientars" from
SHIPBUILDERS,
SHIP REPAIRERS, BOILER MAKERS.
FORGE MASTERS,
Conditions Liberat
DODWELL & CO., LTD.
OXY-ACETYLENE AND. ELECTRIC WELDERS,
· MECHANICAL AND
ELECTRICAL
ENGINEERS:
AGENTS
2 Quer's BUILDING
DRY DOCK-
OF HONG KONG, LIMITED.
THE TAIKOO DOCKYARD & ENGINEERING COMPANY
SALVAGE TUG TAIKOO'
WIRELESS CALL
YPGN. 600 METRES.
Length 787 Feet. Length on Blocks 750 Feet. Depth on Centre of
SII (H.W.OS.T.) 3411 6 ins. THREE SLIPWAYS
Capable of Handling Ships Up to 4,399 Tans Displacement
* Electrio Crane at Set Wall:
Capable of Lifting 100 Tons
at 70 Feet Radius.
BUTTERFIELD & SWIRE, Agents,
HONG KONG, CHINAE JAPAN.
TAIKOODOOK, Howe Kom
Tag:"ApokEM