HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Professor; What are the con. stituents of quartz?"
Bright Pupil: "Pints!"
Nep Cook (departing to mis- tress): "Good-by. Mrs, I'm sorry I don't know your name.
"Why are you so interested in television ?
"I want to see what static looks like!"
"Weren't you nonplussed by the market collapsa ?"
"I guess 30. I was certainly minused."
Billy: "You keep very strange hours at your house;"
Wally:
Yes, we try to sleep when baby does,"
First Urchin: "My father's 'ad 4 photograph taken."
"Second Urchin: "That's nothing. My father's 'ad 'is fingerprints took"
Cook: "Yes, ma'am, I'm leavin' in exactly three minutes"
Mrs. West: "Then put the egga on to boil and we'll have them right for once
a
Lady: "My husband" was tramp, too, but he suddenly decid ed to make a man of himself."
Mendicant: "No wonder lady, with a beautiful woman to inspire him"
Lady: "Well, come in and I'll see about some sandwiches."
Smith and Jones, Ltd., received letter:
"We are very much surprised that the money we have demanded So often has not yet" arrived.
They replied shortly and to the point
"You do not need to wonder; we have not yet sent the mones."
i
That a certain young man is wise. beyond his years was proved when he paused before answering a widow who had asked him to guess her -age.
"You must have some idea." she
said.
"I have several ideas," said the young man, with a smile. "The only trouble is that I hesitate whe- ther to make you ten years younger un account of your looks or years older on account of your in- telligence."
fen
I have a remarkable story,' began the traveling man,
"Spill it," said the waiter." "Cut it," and the editor.. "Be brief," said the lawyer. "Just moment,' sid photographer.
..the
"What of it said the cynic. "End of the line," said the con- Cuctor.
When the guest was just leaving his hotel to hurry to the station, he noticed that he had forgotten.. something. Ho said to the page Room boy Run up quickly to 436 and just see if my umbrella is there. I think it's to the left of the washstand. But burry up!
A minute later the boy returned and panted: "Yes, sir: the un brella's still there, at the left of the washstand !"
A Londoner came out through the gate after viewing his first baseball game, when he was stop- ped by "a newsboy. The score board had recorded that both teams had made a run in the first inning and hadn't scored since.
"Say, mister, what's the score ?” cried the newsy,
"Really. I don't know," carne. the reply, but it was some place up in the millions when" left,"
The newly elected president of banking institution was being introduced to the employees. He singled out one of the men in the cashier's cage,. questioning him in detail about his work, etc.
Cor-
"I have been hore 40 years" said the cashier's assistant with scious pride, and in all that time only made one slight mistake." "Good!" replied the president. "Let me congratulate yon. hereafter be more careful."
But
The conjurer'a turn had not been going too well. The audi- ence received each trick in stony silence...
Not to be daunted, however...he stuck steadily to his task,
he
"Ladies and gentlemen," said, "if any person will oblige me with an egg I will perform an amazing disappearing trick."
Nobody seemed able to produca the article, and after a momentary silence a voice called out from the gallery:
"If anybody 'ere ad an egg you'd 'ave got it long ago."
ENTRAL THEATRE
Paramounts Sound Picture R
On account of Big Demand for Seats Showing Extended to Tuesday, Aug. 19.
Return Engagement of “THE LOVE PARADE ” The Big Picture of All Times
i
LOVE to the
Queen's tastef The screen's great- est talking singing achievement.
MAURICE
CHEVALIER The Love Parade
AN ERNST
LUBITSCH
PRODUCTION
JEANETTE MacDONALD LUPINO LANE ESLLIAN ROT
The show that wow. ed New York. Tune- full Spectacular! Deliciously Funny! Hear Chevalier sing "Nobody's Using It Now." Hear Jea nette MacDonald sing "Dream Lover."
4. Paramount Picture --
BOOKING AT ANDERSON AND THE THEATRE
(TELEPHONE 25720).
NEXT CHANGE
Charles Rogers & Nancy Carroll
"ILLUSION
A Talking-Singing Dancing Love Story
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, AUGUST 18, 1930.
DIFFICULT DECISIONS
GUYAS WILLIANTS
TO-DAY'S WIRELESS
T
PROGRAMME.
GLUYAS WILLIAMS
KNOTTY PROBLEM OF PROCEDURE ARISING WHEN A STRANGE DOG, OF
UNCERTAIN LOOKING DISPOSITION, AP-
PROPRIATES THE TEAM'S ONE AND ONLY BALL
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON 355 METRES.
11 to 11.30 am-Commercial News, 11.30 am to 12.30 p.m.-Chinese
midday programme.
| THE SILVER SCREEN.
6-191
Miss Carroll in "Illusion." Nancy Carroll is a daughter of Old Erin and like many others of them she is just a bit superstitious.
TOWN AND COUNTRY LIFE. She believes that some things bring
1
In The City Girl," now show ing at the Queen's Theatre, we get an interesting study of the rest lessness in human nature which is It is a 12.30 a.m.-European recorded pro- always kausing trouble.
gramme.
1.30 p.m. Weather report.
pean programme continued,
2 p.m.-Close down.
6 to 7 p.m. Chinese programme.
good luck. But the greatest em bodiment of good luck for Nazey is in the person of Charles (Buddy) Rogers. She has played opposite Buddy a three pictures and each of then, she is convinced, has brought her good luck,
A little more than a year ago she was cast opposite the classic-fea- fine, dramatic story-not mere sob-
tured Buddy in Abie's Irish Euro-stuff, aut full of tense human feel Rose." She proved to be the pro- ing. Miss Mary Duncan is splen- per foil for the handsome youth did as the sophisticated girl who just out of college. Next they play- ed in "Close Harmony " together. "knows it all, but finds when she As the result of this arst all-talking 7 pm-European programme of
Viczor
and HIV. records goes to live in the country that picture for both of them, there selected and supplied by life is not quite what she thought were thousands of favourable critic Measts. Moutríe, & Co.
This led to it was, after all The City Gurisms and thousands of new Carroll
and Rogers fans. is a real play, not merely a talkie, Naney's being cast opposite Hal and Charles Farrell and David Skelly in The Dance of Life" Torrence each have some very fine one of the biggest pictures of the After that Miss Carroll and scenes in the story. The setting of{ the picture is also a pleasant varja Buddy were cast as the featured tion from the usual scenes, and players in "Illusion." which comes to the Central Theatre for our altogether "The City Girl" must days run, beginning on Wednes." be classed as one of the best filmsday. It was while they were film Fox has put on the screen for some
Silver Wings-Vocal Gems, Light
Opera Company...
Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal (Quilter) and I Know of Two Bright Eyes (Clutsam), Derek Oldham, Tenor.
The Berry Widow-Vocal Gems
(Lehar), Light Opera Co.. Captain Harry Morgan (Bantock) and Cargoes (Shaw), Peter Dawson, Bass Baritone. Samson and Delilah-Bacchanale time.
(Saint-Sacas) and Damnation of Faust-Rakoczy March (Ber- lios), Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra Miserere (Verdi), Mavis Beanet and John Turner Vocal Duet. Il Trovatore-Vocal Gems (Ver-
'di), Grand Opera Company. Faust-Selection (Gospod), The Band of H.M. Coldstream Guards.
יי
In addition to the star picture and the usual news-reel, the Mont- martre Follies are appearing as the Queen's at all shows. Their agile and graceful dancing and posing makes a very pleasant interlude.
}
"The Love Parade,”
Comic opera of the jolliest variety awaits the screengoer at the Cen- What Is Done (Cuvillier) and
"The Love Nocturne (Chopin), Winnie Mel-tral Treatre where ville and Derek Oldham, Vocal Paride" will be shown for the last Duet.
time to-morrow. Stephen Foster Melodies," Nat
Certainly, the audible screen has Silkret and The Salon Group.
disclosed no more pleasing enter- The Clatter of the Clogs (Flyan)
and A Little Love, a Little Lainer than Chevalier. In none of Kiss, Gracie Fields, Soprano. the earlier talking pictures-drama- At Dawning (Cadman) and Sheptic, comic or musical-have there herd's Lullaby (Hewitt), F been lines that crackled quite as Rowland-Tims, Drganist,
Hinton, Dinton and Mere (Holli- day and The Curtain Falls
crisply with the ban muts of sophis tication. Nowhere else among the
(D'Hardelot), Peter Dawson, sound and dialogue exhibitions may
Bass Baritone.
one encounter the effectiye direc
Lo, Here the Gentle Cork torial touches and elegant photo-
(Bishop) and "Solveig's Song
(Greig), Mavis Bennett, Soraphy that have gone into "The prano.
Five O'clock Girl-Selection, The
New Mayfair Orchestra. Homeward Bound (Stanford) and The Old Superb (Stanford), Peter Dawson, Bass Baritone.
Love Parade.".
There are songs in "The Love Parade," of course, and Chevalier sings them (or most of them) with that ingratiating charm that earn-
" of the boulevards.
Lilae Domino-Vocal Gems (Culed him the name of the happiness
lier), Light Opera Co. 9p.Weather report, time and
local news.
Morning, Noon and Night
Vienna (Suppe),
harmonic Orchestraa
From the Studio:
"Paris, boy" Stay the Same," "Nobody's Using It Now" and "Anything to Please in the Queen" are only a few of the
fetching numbers.
Phil
Mr. W. Bailey, Baritoné"Lán-
den Lea" and “The Vaga" | bond," R. Vaughan Williams Sonata in G Major (Beethoven), Sergei Rachmaninoff, Fritzj Kreisler.
Ig..W. Bailey Baritons: Con't Remember, Alma Gontley, and "Don Juan's Serenade," Techaikowsky,
Hungarian Rhapsody No. 9 (Liszt), Philadelphia, Symphony Orchestra,tek
(Continued at foot of next column.)
(Continued on next Column.)
From the Studio:- Mr. W. Bailey, Baritone;"The Two Greuaders," Solrumann, and Farewell," Liddle. «Ixhengrin — Prelude Megrer)
Philadelphia Symphony Orch.
On Wings & Gong (Mendelsohn)
and Jota (De Falla), Jascha Heifetz, Violin Solo.,
Puck (Greig) and Faust Ballet Music (Gounod), Royal Opera Orchestra,
16.50 p.m. (Approx.)-Close down,
year.
ing this productina that Paramount decided to raise the roguish, auburn- haired Nancy to stardom.
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW At 2.30. 5.30, 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.
Picture
FAY WRAY
GARY COOPER
"The FIRST KISS
The First Kiss should be your first choice for screen entertainment.
It will bring back tender memories of fear first kiss,
MAJESTIC
Hathan Boad, Kowloon.
CITY
GIRL
Presented by WILLIAM FOX
An Enthralling Fox Movietone Production
with
Mazy Duncan Charles Farrell
David Torrence Guinn Williams Directed by F. W. Murnan
-AT ALL PERFORMANCES-
THE MONTMARTRE FOLLIES
AN ENTIRELY NEW PROGRAMME NEW SONGS-NEW COSTUMES-NEW DANCES
AT THE
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 2.80, 5:10; 7.15:& 9:20
The frozen-faced comedian's best
BUSTER KEATON
College
Fanized "ARTÍŠTA PICTU)
AT THE
STAR
AT THE
WORLD
TO-DAY to WEDNESDAY
COSKAS
The screamy side of higher education.
Gags Giggles Guffaws! COME TO COLLEGE": GET THE KNOWLEDGEI
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 6.30 & 9.20.
THE CHINESE DRAMA "THE WAY of GOLD" AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
HENNESSY
BRANDY
There's Quality
in the Name.
SOLE AGENTS:
L. RONDON &
CO., LTD.
AVENUE EDWARD VII.
SHANGHAI
Hong Kong Weekly Press
University Salaries Hong Kong's “Rival
Changes in Canton
Tragic End to Joy-Ride-
Bishop's Leave"
Sport Bowls, Tennis, Swimming, Etc. and
Other Interesting Features.
THE PAPER WITH THE YELLOW COVER.
Price:-30
Cents.
Annual Subscription: Hong Kong, $13; Post Free to
address 816. Quarterly Subscription, 84 00.
Orders should be send to the
HONG KÒNG DAILY PRESS, LTD.,
MTELEPHO 30251. ****
11, ICE HOUSE STERET.