HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, JULY 31, 1930.
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"Are you a job printer?" "Yes, what can I do for you!" "Please take this 'help wanted' .ad."
"I can't make heads or tails of this time-table."
Let's go up and ask the en- gineer what his plans are."
Judge: "Have you anything to offer the court before sentence is passed upon you?"
Prisoner; "No, yer honor; my lawyer took my last dollar."
They were discussing the educa. tion of their children. What's your hoy going to be when he finishes at Yale 7" asked one.
"An octogenarian, I fear," the other replied.
My wife and I had a great ar- gument last week. She wanted a roadster and I refused to buy it hecause, as I contended, a closed car is more practier.l."
"Does she like the new roadster 2?,
was quite Daughter: "Daddy pleased to hear that you were a poet.?'
Suitor: "Really."
Daughter: "Yes, you see the last young man I had was an amateur. boxer ?!
Country Cousin (in town): "Out in the country we have to treat the maids and other help like menbera of the family."
City Cousin: "Goodness! Real- y Here we have to treat them with great respect!"
You must keep your mouth clos ed while you are in the water, Hazel," said the nurse, as she was giving the little one her morning bath. "If you don't you will swal low some of it."
"Well, if I do." queried Hazel, isn't there plenty more in the pipes 1"
i
Mother: I don't like to shout at you, Harold."
Little Harold: "And I can't say that. I like it, either, Mummy."
"Madam,
Male Straphanger: you are standing on my foot."
Female Ditto: "I beg your par- dan. I thought it belonged to the man sitting down."
Yvonne: Whatever induced Dora to take up golf so suddenly ?"
Yvette: "Oh, she read a news paper article about somebody find- ing a diamond in the rough."
Apartment Owner (a stout gentle. man): This, sir, is one of our finest kitchenette apartments."
Prospective Tenant: "Well, come out a minute and let me inside!!!
Tom: "Was he violent when you told him you wanted to marry his daughter
Sam: Violent! I should say so. Why, he nearly shook my hand off."
This is all very interesting" said the Des Moines dentist to the.. dragoman" at the Acropolis of Athens, "but what I came here to sre is the exact spot where those four borsemen started out on their famous ride.
Little Jim: "I knew you were edining to-night!"
Sister's Beau: "Who told you?" Little Jim: "Nobody told me, but I saw my sister take your ple- ture out of the bureau drawer and put it on the piano?".
Mrs. Hoskinson: "I have found out
one thing about that Mrs. Newcome. Whoever she is, she has certainly never moved in good society."
Mr. Hoskinson: "How do you know that
Mrs. Hoskinson: "She" shakes hands as if she meant it."
ENTRAL THEATRE
Paramount's Sound Pictures R TO-DAY to SATURDAY At 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9.20 P.M. America's Sherlook Holmes
From the best-sol-
ling detective story.
The picture acclaim
ed by the author
1.
"better" *”
than
the popular book. "Directed by Alaicolin
St. Clair.
WILLIAM POWELL
JAMES HALL
LOUISE BROOKS
JEAN ARTHUR
On The
* All-Talking
Screen 1
THE CANARY" MURDER CASE
A PHILO VANCE STUBY < Mind pitted against zaind! One of the most baffling and surprising
stories
ever written and you See and Hear the tense, gripping drama i
S:S. VAN DINE
A Paramount Picture
You have read this detective story
-NOW-- YOU WILL SEE AND HEAR
On the Talking Screen
IT
Another Super-Production at Popular Prices,
NEXT CHANGE
Ruth Chatterton, Clive Brook, Mary Nolan, William Powell In the Talking Screen's Most Brilliant Comedy-drama
'CHARMING SINNERS"
Somerset Haugliams Delightful Marital
A Paramount Picture.
BOOKING AT ANDERSON AND THE THEATRE. (TELEPHONE 25720).
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY AT BAT -
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
| GRÄSPS BAT FIRMLY, TAPS
HOME PLATE TWO OR THREE TIMES AND FACES PITCHER
FLOURISHES EDDIE'S. BAT, ASSURING EVERY BODY THAT NOW HE'S ALL-SET TO PASTE IT OUT OF THE LOT
16-7
LETS FIRST FIVE BAUS GO BY. ARGUES VIO- LENTLY THEY WERE MOT. OVER THE PLATE, THEY. WERE WAY UP HERE"
SWINGS AND MISSES. CHANGES BATS "AND HAS WORDS WITH SHORT STOP.",
COMMUNISTS IN U.S.
CONGRESSIONAL INQUIRY INTO RED PROPAGANDA.”
MOSCOW FEARS RUPTURE OF RELATIONS.
„[UNITED PRESS.]
RESUNES STANCE STILL ARGUING THAT HEIL HIT IT ALL RIGHT IF ONE EVER COMES
OVER
IS RATHER STUNG BY SHORT STOP'S TAUNTS, SWINGS AT FIRST BALL, MISSING IT BY TWO FEET
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Ina)
SIR JOHN SIMON'S FAGGING DAYS.
FORGIVEN FOR HIS "INEFFICIENCY,”
SWINGS AND MISSES. CALLS TO EDDIE SELZER TO LET HIN USE HIS BAT, THIS ONE'S NO
600D
RETIRES, TELLING THE WORLD THEY'VE SIMPLY GOT TO GET A DECENT BAT, HE CANT ∙DO A THING WITH THIS!
ONE
THE RESIGNATION OF CHICHERIN.
IRISH PROMOTION FOR KARAKHAN. ་
Moscow, July 22.-The press fea- tures Comrade Litvinoff's appoint.
In a Founders' Day speech at Fettes College, Edinburgh, his old school, Sir John Simon said he had come not only to express his ment as People's Commissary for devotion to the place but to pro- Foreign Affairs, succeeding Com.. claim himself a believer in the benefits that accrue from the pub-rade Chicherin who as the last of the old guards definitely disappears lie-school, tradition.
New York, July 4-Mr. John Sprivak, of the large McFadden group of publications, to-day told the Congressional Committee in vestigating Communist propaganda that the letters ostensibly; involving the country could i do without the war until two years ago, when
He believed that the tradition from the Moscow stage where he held a central position ever since which gathered round a great in- stitution like Fettes was a thing
Amtorg, the Soviet trading or- ganization in the United States, and which contributed immensely the progress of the diabetes from ia dissemination of propaganda to the efficiency and advancement which he is suffering, combined. were forged and offered for sale to of their race. It was said that with disagreements which he had a news agency in Washington six sone came to public schools who with Stalin over questions of for weeks before Mr. Grover Whalen, were unhappy or who did not get eign policy, compelled this inde- the former New York Police Com- the best out of it. Shelley, they fatigable worker to retire to a were told, was not very happy at nursing home" in Germany, retain- missioner, made them public.
A New York printer, he declar. Eton, but he wrote good poetrying during the two years, however, ed, had admitted setting up the notwithstanding.
the title of Foreign Commissary, letter heads on which these forged documents 'were subsequently writ
ten.
tr
An institution like Fettes was performing an immense national service. Nothing was better for a This dove-tailed with previous small boy than to come to a place liscoveries made by paper experts where he learned that he was not who had found that the paper on so important as he thought he was. which the letters were written, was of a sort not found in Russia, but produced recently in the United
Status
His ɓnal retirement was anti- cipated when recently the sixteenth congress of the Russian Communist Party failed to re-elect him to the Central Executive Committee. Com-
It seemed to him a very impur-rade Litvinoff's appointment which tant thing that so many people who merely recognizes the status quo wrote book about public schools ap- did not come as a surprise though peared to be those introspective it is construed as showing Stalin's In Old-Style Speiling.
dyspeptics who would really be approval of Litvinoff's policy and much better fellows than they were especially of his endeavours to re- Amtorg officials declared that the if only they had been made, three establish friendly relations entire scheme, was ludicrous, point" days a week, in the show and the Great Britain to which Chicherin ing out that the spelling and gen-sleet, to run to the fourth mile was opposed. eral style of the letters was of the old "White Russian" sort and not the modern type used by the U.S.S.R.
stone. (Laughter.)
Speaking of the fagging system, Sir John said he had met bis fag master the previous day and his fag master had forgiven him. for his in- efficiency. He had no recollection
Mr. Whalen, who started the huc and-ery during his last days as Police Commissioner, has now tired to private life and has re- sumed his former work with the of his fag, master treating him un- Wanamaker department stores, but fairly except on the occasion when be is taking some part in the study fire went out because the the investigation as regards dis coveries made daring his period of wood was damp. official incumbency.
Moscow Press Perturbed.
Sir John added that he found
with
A number of other charges, in the" Soviet diplomatic services is also expected. The Ambassador "at Berlin, Comrade Krestinski, who bas held his present post since July, 1922, is to be appointed head of the Foreign Commissariat's Western Department and next in command to Litvinoff, a position hitherto held by Karakhan who will take the third place, the name he all over India while he was there, had nominally held until now, 03 not in great- numbers, because chief of the Eastern Department Moscow, July 24.The Press in Fettes was not a large school, but disquieted by reports from New still in surprising numbers, old Comrade Krestinski will, it is be Tork indicating, the possibility of Fettesians who were playing a uselieved, be succeeded in Berlin by an early rupture of Soviet-Ameri-ful and manly part in helping the present head of the People's can commercial relations in con- that great country. sequence of the strong propaganda In introducing Sir John, the Commissaries, Comrade Bykov who, against the Soviet trade commis headmaster (Major A. H. Ashcroft) although he recanted, is still being ston at New York which goes unsaid that the first record of looked upon with disfavour by the der the name of "Amtorg." This Sir John's name as a Fettesian Stalin group and whose appoint- propaganda has culminated in the was when he scored nothing not investigation of Amtorg's activi out in, a house cricket match., 'ment to a post abroad would add ties by a special commission of the
the discomfiture of the opposi House of Representatives whose
tion. Another candidate mentioned for the Berlin post is the present
chairman Mr. Fish insists that the
Amtorg is illegal..
Retaliatory Measures.
to
JOSEPH
Presented br CARL LAEMMLE
SCHILDKRAUT The NIGHT RIDE
AT THE
QUEEN'S
AT
THURSDAY TO SATURDAY 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
VI
A seething, thrilling drama with a score of laughs, and a hundred moments of suspėose.„
The
SHAKEDOWN
WITH LOVE CAME PAIN AND SADNESS.
AT THE
STAR
With
JAMES MURRAY and
BÁRBARA KENT.
THURSDAY to SATURDAY At 5.30 & 9.20.
JOHN BARRYMORE
AT THE
in
"ETERNAL
-LOVE
WORLD
ADVICE FOR INVESTORS.
READERS, are
reminded
that inquiries relating
to the share market sre answered on page 12 every Tuesday, by "Kulas." Let- ters should be sent to this office, and must be accom- panied by the coupon appear- ing below, bearing the writ. er's name and address, not for publication. Letters should be addressed to "Kufan," care of the Editor, "Hong Kong Daily Fren"
• KUFAN" COUPON,
Name
Address
Mr. Fish therefore demands the Bogodanoff also vehemently deni-Soviet Ambassador at Angora, Com- deportation Alita Bumina stand the eller stien tliet bra who has xop contests f ployees including the director tion was the centre of Componist
Bogdanoff, who before the mmmittee propagandaranda faally hinted the Soviet Union in Turkey since declared that the investigations that retaliatory measures would be February, 1924, and who, on account and the publicity given them by taken if Amtorg should be closed
of his success in creating and main- the Press and anti-Soviet pro or otherwise hindered in its com- pagandists nieady resulted in the mercial activities. The hearing taining close relations between the refusal of a number : American was extremely stormy, as Bogdanoff two countries, is regarded here as firms to executs orders given by repeatedly refused to answer cer- Amtorga
tain question, put by members of one of the best men in the Soviet's
diplomatic serpice. (Continued at foot of next column.) the commission...
HL.D.P.I]
99
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 2.807.16 Interpreter At 5.15 & 9.20-Orchestra
MAJESTIC THEATRE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
FORGOTTEN FACES
-WITH-
CLIVE BROOK MARY BRIAN WILLIAM POWELL BACLANOVA A Paramount Picture
LOVE ALONE
REMEMBERS.