HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Which side of the house does he look like!"
"The side with the bay window "
Whatever made you applaud so vigorously at that poor play last night?" ...
To keep myself awake!"
"You society people chase all over town looking for pleasure, and "yet you're always bored."
Yes, we run hither and yawn."
"What happy people you are to have six nice daughters! What re- sources for later years!!
'Yes.
Resources enough! But the difficulty uawadays consists in husbanding one's resources !"
"Going my way."
#Yah.
"Kin I ride with you home?"
to my
"How far away is your home?" "Eight blocks."
Grocer: "Would you like some nice fresh horse-radish?"
Mrs New-Wed: "Well, no, I be lieve not, You see, we have a car.””.
"Why not take me to a Groen- wich Village cafe, Fred? You'co not bashful, are you?"
Fred: "Not bashful, no-but ter- ribly, terribly shy.”
Mirandy: "My 'sakes! writes he threw the hammer fect."
John 200
Joshua: "Wal, he must 've hit his thumb an awful whack.'
Husband: From the glimpse I had of her his morning, I rather like our now cook. There seems to be plenty of go about her." Wife: "Yes, she's gone."
Mistress: "Do you think you will settle down hero! You've left, so many situations,"
ช่
4
- Maid: "Yes, m'm. But remem- "I'm parked further than that."ber, I didn't leave any of them
voluntarily."
Father: "Did you feel that sp- ple before eating it, as I told "you?"
Jimmy: "Yes, Dad." Father: "What did you do with the peal"
Jimmy: I ate it after I had finished the apple."
The schoolmaster was explaining this class of small boys the na- ture of common fractions. "I"take a potato, cut it in half, then in Quarters, and then in halves again. what shall I have 1"
Ti
"Chips, sir." was the unexpect ed response from, one small boy.
Cabby (on being told to go to the Courts of Justice): "And where be they?"
Judge: "What! A London cab hy, and you don't know where the Law Courts are
Cabby: "Oh, the Law Courts. But you said the Courts of Jus tice f
"Well, dearest, what did your father say, when he found that wanted to marry you?"
They were settling a number of preliminary details, as young peo-". ple will before they take the deci- sive step.
"I
"Do you believe in "allowances for married women" she asked.
"Certainly," he replied, think a husband should make al lowances for a lot of things."
A country boy on a visit to New York had stopped into an exclu-, sive restaurant for supper. The sient was in French, so putting it down he asked if it would be poa- sible to get some hash. The waiter assured him that it was served, so the boy requested an extra large order."
The waiter finally reappeared with the order, which was about s much as they serve as a "first helping" in Indiana, and left a
for $1.20. Picking up the bill the tnd was startled at the price, but it was so obviously a mistaké that he smilingly beckoned the waiter over to his table and men- Itioned that perhaps. some mistake
"At first be demurred because he didn't want to lose me, but I ex- plained that he "could have me, and that he would have you to hoot.'
"That sounds all right, except for the 'to boot' part."
|
had been' made.
"No," he replied: "you asked for an extra large order' and the price is $1.90."
The boy was thunderstruck, Look- ing at the waiter very intently. he said, "Why, mister, you couldn't lift 81.20 worth of hash!"
CENTRAL THEATRE
Paramounts Sound Pictures R TO-DAY to MONDAY At 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9.20 P.M.
THE GREAT OUTDOOR TALKING' CLASSIC I Spectacular Action-Gorgeous Scenic Backgrounds Thrilling Romance.
OWEN WISTER'S IMMORTAL LOVE STORY The American-Classic Humor-Pathos-Romance Thrills Aplenty.
THE VIRGINIAN
with
GARY COOPER- WALTER HUSTON RICHARD ARLEN MARY BRIAN
Paramount Picture
IF YOU LIKE
THE COVERED WAGON
>YOU WILL LIKE
THE VIRGINIAN
A Super-Production at Popular Prices.
BOOKING AT ANDERSON AND THE THEATRE. (TELEPHONE 22570).
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, JULY 24, 1930.
THE FAMILY ALBUM-SUNDAY MORNING SNOOZE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
Sunts WILLIANTS
Broadway's "Star of Stars" in
His First Fox Movietone Picture!
STIRS, AS WIFE GETS UP, AND TELLS HER HE'S GOING TO SLEEP LATE, HE DOES NIT CARE ABOUT ANY BREAKFAST
COMES WIDE AWAKE AS WIFE CALLS FROM DOWNSTAIRS TO BE QUIET DADDY'S SLEEPING
SHUTO EYES GRIMLY AS MIL-. DRED TIP-TOES IN TO BORROW ONE OF MOTHERS HANDKERCHIEPS
15-26
ENGLAND'S "WILD BEASTS."
NO FEAR OF THE ROPE.
BUT THEY MUST BE HANGED.
"Sir Archibald Bodkin, Director of Public Prosecutions from 1920 to March last, giving evidence before the Select Committee at the House
DROPS BLISSFULLY OFF
SLEEP AGAIN
AFTER BRIEF SILENCE, CON-
STARTS AWAKE AT SOUND OF WILFRED SINGING IN BATH-ROOMİ SUGHTLY. OFF NEY
WHISPERS DIE AWAY: IS AL-. FERENCE IN RASPING, WHIS~- MOST DOZING: OFF" WHEN HE FERS BEGINS AS TO WHERE · REALIZES DOOR IS BEING THE TOOTH PASTE, IS-
OPENED SOFTLY.
TELEPHONE, RINES, FAMILY
CALLING TO ONE ANOTHER TO ANSWER IT BEFORE IT WAKES
·DADDY UP:
LOCAL
RADIO.
ATTRACTIVE STUDIO
PROGRAMMES.
SIGHS AND GETS UP
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate,' Inc.)
GI-
An attractive programme ranged to be broadcast from the Hong Kong Radio Station to-mor- row. evening includes yet another new-comer to the local studio.
Mr. A. J. Brook, previously only heard over the radio, by those who listened to the broadcast of the Geisha" relayed from the Theatre
THE TARIFF WAR.
CANADIAN CONSERVATIVES
SUPPORT HIGH TARIFF.
[OSITED PRESS-]
Montreal, July 16. Canadian Conservatives are espousing the idea of a high tariff in order to combat the день United States tariff, and they are hoping for an election on this issue on July 28,
Mr. R. B. Bennett, Conservative of Commons on the Capital Punis-Royal last December, will be heard leader, contends that the tariff will ment Bill, said:
by local listeners to-morrow evening also assist Canadian industries to in a pleasing group of baritone establish themselves firmer against numbers.
the larger industries of such coun Mrs. O C Womack who bastries as the United States. already proved highly successful as microphone artiste will contribute to the same programme in soprano solos, and Mrs. D. Cairns; contralto, one of the first of the studio's successes, is also billed for the same date:
My opinion is most undoubtedly that capital punishment should be retained, not only as a suitable punishment for the offence, but is an important deterrent against the commission of that most heinous
crime of murder.
I have no doubt that in this
community of ours there are a number of potential murderers- persons who harbour, murder in their minds, and I believe they are deferred from carrying out those designs by the thought of capital punishment.
"There are also persons who don't care and are pot reterred
either by hanging or life sentence, because they are so deliberately
wicked and malicious.
"Those enemies of society-the wild beasts of society-if they can' gain their immediate end of murdering without too much risk of immediate discovery will commit those crimes.
There is case after case of murders committed for "base mo- tives, and for those murders there can be no other punishment than hanging."
"Pime."
Violin solos and a string trio provided by the Misses C and J. and Mr. J. Braga will complete the
programme.
The Conservatives are also at tacking the labour policy of thể Premier, Mr. Mackenzie King, and it is Mr. Bennett's contention that 5,000 Canadians went to the United
States since the New Year on account of unemployment. Of this number, Mr. Bennett declares that only 873 returned to their native country...
"
In a recent speech, Mr. Bennett The latter was originally an inde compared Canada and Hawaii.
pendent monarchy, but America, Saturday's mid-day programme continued to increase the sugar will include another of the popular tariff until a Hawaiian delegation was compelled to proceed to Wash organ recitals by Mr. F. Mason, ington to make terms with the re- A.R.C.O., L.T.C.L., and the church sult that Hawaii was annexed to service for Sunday morning will be the United States.rod relayed from the St. Joseph's *Mr. Bennett declared that should Church commencing at 10 min. `-
the present situation it is impossible to predict the On Monday evening the studio future of Canadi. players will present a comedy sketch at the studio, entitled. Coming Events". Further details of this play will be published on Monday.
Mr. Ayles had been asking Bir Archibald about impulsive crimes such as when a husband murdered his wife's lover.
Mr. Lovat Fraser (Lab., Läch Sir Archibald said that when he held): You call murderers the wild | found his wife in the arms of a beasts of society. There are other lover the husband possibly had no. people who say these criminals are other thought than that of revenge. not wild beasts-that they are sick; Mr. Ayles The same kind of
feeling which I might have had to--| people
Sir Archibald Oh Absurd-wards you when we Inst met. On piffle
He dissented from a suggestion by Dr. Ethel Bentham (Lab., Isling ton E.) that juries were loath to convict in murder cases,
I think British juries are very courageous. If the evidence does not come up to the very high. standard of proof they rightly de mand they nequit, but I don't think acquittal is due to being afraid of what the result of their verdict may be.
"Take the Bywaters-Thompson case; there was no recommenda tion for mercy there. If ever there was a case which might ap- peal to all the feelings of the jury and induce them to take a sentimental view it was that case."!
No Ill-feeling
that pecusion-you-submitted-mo to more questions than I have sub- mitted to you now. They gave me 01 daya as Tresult.
Sir Archibald: I hope there was. no ill-feeling.
think you did perfectly right.
Mr.Ayles-No, Sir Archibald, I'
Mr. Ayles had another dramatic. meeting with a previous witness- Captain Clayton, Governor Dartmoor Prison.
of
As it happened," Mr. Ayles said to Captain Clayton, "we have. been in the same prison. I was in the cells and you in the, office.” * Glad They Were Unarmed. Captain Clayton said that many criminals ball told him of their relief at the fact that they were tedden. Murprised during
While arestjovine, Sir Archibald, I the commission at a primer Thero Mr. W. Ayles (Labour, Bristol, N.) – would have been tempted to, shoot revealed dramatically that the list their way to freedom. He had time he met Sir Archibald was when nover-known a murdered go to the Sir Archibald was prosecuting him scaffold protesting his innocence. as a conscientious objector.
In his experience the majority con- (Continued on next Column.) fessed,
continue,'
ADVICE FOR INVESTORS,
Rat inquiries relating EADERS are reminded
to the share market are answered on page 12 every. Tuesday by Kufag." Let ters should be sent to this Öffice, and must be accom- panied by the coupon appear. iag below, bearing the writ 1 er'a name and address, not- for publication. Letters should be addressed to. “Kufan,” care of the Editor, Hong Rong Daily Press."
"KUFAN" COUPON,
Name
Address
Nom
HD.P.I]
The famous Broadway stage star singing, loving, playing
on your heart- strings in a colourful drama of New York and
Italy.
AT THE
QUEEN'S
WILLIAM" POK
GEORGE ESSEL
In an all talking moviziune druma
Love Live & Laugh
LILA LEE
DAVID ROLLINS HENRY KOLKER ΚΕΝΝΕΤΗ ΜΑΚΕΝΝΑ
LEGGY CLEMENS JOHN B. MYMLA' WOLF GIL
ABEL SALT
Brad WILLIAM, K. HOWARD
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20
Lady Pavements
with
WILLIAM BOYD JETTA GOUDAL LUPE VELEZ
AT THE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
AT-5.30 & 9.20.
WILLIAM FOX
--presents
FOUR SONS
AT THE
WORLD
REBUKING THE PESSIMISTS.
THE TRUTH ABOUT BRITAIN,
Mr. J. Maynard Keynes, the economist, gave a cheering account of the économie future of Great Britain when he spoke at the diu- ner given by the National Council of Women of Great Britain to dele- gates from the International Coun- cil of Women now visiting London. "There is nothing further from the truth than the story of ruin, decay and failure that has been told," he said, “That is in no way a true economic picture of the situation in this country. The true dimension of our troubles, equals five per cent of national in come, that is to say, 10, is being put to its proper, use and waste represente is.
"When people, talk of the pro sperity of France" remember that We are supporting a standard, of living nearly double that of France. We are far and away the richest country in Europe Nor are we, even with the means at our dis posal, by any means at the end of economic progress
We are now four times ap rich ja an economic sense as we were 100 years ago and I predict with
THURSDAY to SATURDAY
At 230 & 7.15—Interpreter At 6.15 & 9.20-Orchestra
TO-DAY to SATURDAY
At
the
At 2.30, 5.30. 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.
Majestic Theatre
Nathan Road, Kowloon.
Flirting
with Death
the same means, we will be eight LEGION
times as rich 100 years hence
"In spite of the war and all its Josses, wo are carrying out pre of the greatest social experiments in the equalisation of wealth and the abolition of the worst kinds of poverty The well-to-do classes "are a little poorer, but the great bulk with population bestaa
Ma-desitatina, ta the UMIRA tional visitors here to-night is to Hook round this country with eyes informed by the points of view I have been elaborating. We are a country of immense wealth and public - spitit, moving towards equality.
CONDEMNED
FAY. WRAY! GARY COOPER WILLIAM ALWELLMAN'S PRODUCTION:
High above the heaving earth they flirt with death. No mission too hazardous in their wild desíré to die.
A thrilling uteledrama of the air;