HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, JULY 15, 1930.
THE FAMILY ALBUM THE TELEPHONE DIRECTORY
“By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
"Mother" (to 'Earoid, who has just been prosented with. a chocolate bis euit by amiable grocer): "What do you say, Harold "
Harold at home."
I've got two brothers
Barbor (having sold bottle of hairy oil to customer): "Excuse me, sit, do you happen to play billiards?
Customer: You, why?".
A
Barber: "Then I must warn you, sir. after using this lotion to be" ww and wash your hands before so much as touching B billiard ball."
A eclouted gentleman, sentenced to the penitentiary, was visited by a sympathetic friend.
"Ben." said the friend, "am it tru dat you, all is sentenced foh lite?"
on.
"No," said Ben, "jes' fum now
Modern Husband (in kitchen); "Where's the egg beater
Modern Wife (also in kitchen): -I dunno, Harry. I'm a stranger
Kere mysel."
"She plays well, but is she a thorough musician ?"
"My word, yes? Why, she times the eggs, with a-metronome,'
Customer (suspiciously)" "How
i the hash made here?"
Water: Made, sir? 'Ash ain't I made it just accumulates!".
"Do things usually turn out as you expect them to "
"Yes, with the exception of the var ahead of me."
į
"Ah ha!" "AE Ilast we've found out" what the new long dresses the girla are wearing remind us" of. For days, wo've struggled to remember; every time we saw a girl in the new style dresses or saw pictures of the latest thing from Paris, we knew it reminded us of something, but we couldn't say what.
But yesterday we saw some girls in the new long dresses and it flash- ed on us at once. They reminded us of Junior, aged 5, wearing his papa's overcoat.
"I've an invention at last that will mean a fortune!"
"What is it this time" "Why it's an extra key for a typewriter. When you don't know how to spell a word you hit that key, and it makes a blur that might be an e," an or almost any. thing else you like."
I'm quite a fanatic on language
grammatic,
But sometimes I like to be punny; Now, see if I'm right: If you're
bested in fight,
You're worsted as well-isn't it
funny?..
The famous tragedian rang up a well-known critic.
"Can you hear ?".. *Tos."
"Valentine Montmorency is in- disposed. I am going to play his part to-night'
Many thanks for the warning." said the critic.. and hung up..
Two negroes were sent to the market to buy a live rabbit. After making their purchase, and while on their way to make the delivery, the rabbit scampered away.
The one who had been carrying the
"Your Honor," said, the witness, "you may take my statement as be. ing absolutely correct. I have been wedded to truth since, my child-laughter, hood."
"Quite possible," said the Judge." "but what the court wants to know is, how long have you been a widower ???
1111
CALLS WHO KNOWS- WHERE THE TELEPHONE DIRECTORY HAS GONE TO?
WANDERS ROUND LOOKING MILDRED CALLS MOTHER MAY DOESN'T FIND IT THÈRE.
FOR IT AND MUTTERING HAVE-PROPPED-CELLAR-POOR CAUS-DOWN TO Wire-
HE DOESN'T SEE WHY "OPEN WITH IT SO SHE CAN
THIS FAMILY DOESNT LEAVE, HEAR PHONE WHILE SHE'S THINGS WHERE THEY BELONG" -DOWN IN LAUNDRY »
WIFE SUGGESTS SHE MAY - NOT IN KITCHEN. MILDRED ': FINDS IT. SINKS ..."
HAVE HAD IT IN KITCHEN REMEMBERS SHE HAD IT„WEPRILY ON BED TO UNDER ONE END OF ON CHAIR UPSTAIRS TO LOOK UP NUMBER
REACH TDP SHELF OF
IRONING BOARD
GUYAS
LINEN CLOSET
animal eat down and shook with THE SILVER SCREEN.
His companion said. "What you, all laughin' at "
Look at dat ol' rabbit run de wrong way! Ah, got de address in mah pocket."
CENTRAL THEATRE
Paramount's Sound Pictures R Tuesday and Wednesday, the Last 2 Days
At 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9,20 P.M.
IS HE,
as Motion Picture News says:
"THE.
CHARLIE
CHAPLIN
OF THE
TALKING
SCREEN?"
See and Hear the new hit ̈comedian Jimmy Durantee
and other stars
iri
ROADHOUSE
You'll lengh arouri- Daily Ajay Fourself Immensely i And all the Ume you're con
scious of a grit munade
Foel the tiirillu
NIGHTS
Iwith kn HELEN MORGAN. lurking behind the CHARLES RUGGLES FRED KOHLER and CLAYTON, JACKSON and DURANTE
sa Garamount) Picture
Next Change, Thursday, July 17th
PARAMOUNT'S
All-Talking, All-Star, All-Thrilling, THE STUDIO MURDER MYSTERY
featuring:
Doris Hill,
Neil Hamilton, Warner Oland, : Florence Eldridge. BOOKING ÁT ANDERSON'S AND THE THEATRE. (TELEPHONE 25720).
LOLA TRACKS CROOKS
TO CUBA.
In the Fox Movietone production The Gul from Havana," now showing at the Queen's Theatre, the beautiful and talented Lola Lane goes through the entire pic- tuze under false pretences."
On board a steamship bound for Havana from Los Angeles, Miss Lane is believed to be a member Balboa of a theatrical company, bound for
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
The members of the trio boast of a repertoire of 54 songs. Every song has many verses, and multiple Variations of the chorus!
All but two of the songs were written by the singing comies them- selves, with Jimmie Durante, their leader, officiating in the dual rôle of composer and lyricist.
In "Roadhouse Nights" they sing "Everything Is On the Up and Up."Hello, Everybody. Folks," and "Everybody Wants My Girl."
GOES DOWN TO TELEPHONE! DIRECTORY TURNING UP NEXT DAY UNDER HIS
BED
TO-DAY'S WIRELESS
PROGRAMME.
BROADCAST BY ZB.W. ON
300 METRES.
11 to 11.30 am-Commercial News. 11.30 am to 12.30 p.m.--Chinese
programme.
12.30 to 2 p.m.-European pro-
gramme of Victor records selected and supplied by Messrs. Tsang Fook Piano Co.
6 to 8 pm-European programme of Victor records selected and esupplied by Messrs. Tiang Fook
'piano Co..
The trio share honours in the pro. duction with Helen Morgan, Char les Ruggles and Fred Kohler. The story is an original one by Ber In reality she is a clever female. Hecht, and was directed at the Par detective in the employ of an inter- amount Long Island, studio by national association of jewellers, Hobart Henley, who made Tho and her real mission is to solve a
Lady Lies." mysterious theft of jewels, with the members of the gang participating in the theft on the same boat. How she does it and entangles herself in a romance with one of the crooks forms the basis of an intriguing and interesting plot.
"A Reno Divorce" at the
Majestic," Mar McAvoy in
Reno "A Divorce is now showing at the Majestic Theatre, Kowloon. It is a brilliant modern comedy drama written and directed by Ralph
A Highly-trained Singer in "Fox Graves, who also plays the leading
Follies."
David Percy, who is said to re- gister a distinct personal hit in the William Fox Movietone Follies of 1920," used literally to "sing for His supper" in Boston, much to the discomfiture of his New England family.
romantic role. May McAvoy playe the part of a thrill-seeking young society girl. Her speeding car knocks down the young man who proves to be her hero. Menace ap.. pears in the form of a divorced couple, a drunken driver, a wheel of chance, counter-schemes, and There was no necessity for Percy complications galore sweeping the to hang about the Russian Grill, story to a great climax. In the cast but he liked to sing and manager are Hedda Hopper, Robert Ober, William Demarest and Anders and pattons encouraged him, so
"DEAD
-MAN WHO RETURNED.
he tossed his Puritan inhibitions Davis. While ultra-modern, "A overboard. Then the small boy Reno Divorce " is intensely human. would stagger home like a stuffed It is a play to see and to remember. turkey from the many good things his songe brought him to eat. Percy was born in Arlington, Mass, a suburb of Boston, on May 4, 1902. His father was David Thomas Percy, M.D.; and his mother; the former Maude Almy, was a concert pianist well-known in America and Europe. His brother, George Percy, «was a Harvard athlete.
Young Ferey gave up college to study voice-production with Emma Eames. Her husband, Emilio De Gorgoza, the baritone, encouraged young Percy, saying he had perhaps the most beautiful baritone voice in Amerien at that time. During his student days he frequently appeared in amateur theatricals, his voice causing a popular demand for his services,
5
10 YEARS AFTER HIS "BURIAL"
An inquest was held at Stepney recently on a man who made a dramatic return, from abroad more than ten years after he was sup- posed to have been dead. The man, Henry Seymour Mahon, aged 67, of-Burdett Road, Mile End, wor separated from his wife and daugh. ter twenty-five years ago. He dis- appeared.
Cosi Fan Tutte-Overture and Masked Bull-Overture, Ber- lin State Opera Orebestra: Loch Lomond and Scotch Mem- orica, Sir Harry Lauder (Comedian).
Minuet and "Nocturne,
Renee
Chemet (Violin Soloj. Slumber On and The Periect Song. Victor Salon Cech. One Clyes But Ouce-Waltz,
Sergei Rachmanino (Piano).. Goin' Home and Down South,
Eveready Hour Group.
A Gay Caballero — Waltz and Spanish Lite-Waltz, Victoria- Orchestra.
".
Singin' in the Rain" and Deep
Night, The Rounders. Quack Quack-Tango and The Gang-Tango, Merck
Weber and His Orchestra, "On the Banks of the Danube,
John Kurucz (Piano).
A Little Love, a Little Kiss and
Estellita, Victor. Salon Orch. Where Were You-Where Was 17
and Billie,
Walker Polly (Comedienne).
Jeannine 1 Dream of Lilac Time and King for a Day, Jesse Crawford (Organ).
Kitten on the KeyFox Trot and Dizzy Fingers-Fox Trot, Zoz Confrey and Orch. Sirens Waltz and Over the Waves, Marie Perry (Accor- dion Solo).
Paradise-Waltz, Waring's Penn-
sylvacíans.
Grieving Waltz, Paul White-
man and Orchestra. Serenade and Flight of the Bumble Bee and Valse Triste, Chicago Symphony Orch.
9 to 9 p.m.Chinese programme,
relay from Ko Saing Theatre. 9 p.m.-Weather report. Chinege 11 p.m.-Close down.
relay programme continued.
Mahon, she lodded, told her that he had been in Canada, and when" About five years later, a sister she informed" him of his "death,". informed the coroner, a body was he said, "Let my wife think I am found at Leytonstone, and at the dead." He had made money in inquest then held Mahn's wife swore Canada, and be retired. Thero wan that it was the body of her husband. still about £1,000 left. A burial service was performed
• Roadhouse Nights," What is believed to be a memory best record of the entertainment world has been established by Clay Seven years ago the sister ton, Jackson and Durante, the trio went on, "I heard a knock at the of comedians who graduated from door, 'On opening it I received a New York's after the theatre clubs great shock when I found that it to the talking screen in the Road- house Night." comedy-thriller as my brother whom I thought to which is now showing at the Central be dead.”
Theatre.
Anda (Continued of foot of next column.)
The sister added that he dig not know where her bibider & with and daughter were, as she had not seen them for years
Modical ovidence was given that death was due to peritonitis, and the coroner," Dr. R. L. Guthrie, re- corded a verdiet · of “Natural causes."
WILLIAM Fox presents
The GIRL from
ALL, TALKING FOX MOVIETONE directed by BENJAMIN STOLOFF
HAVANA
with LOLA LAN?
PAUL PAGE
KENNETH
THOMSON Z-NATALI
MOORHEAD
AT. THE
A masquerading girl detective out- wits a band of international jewel thieves and appre-.. hends a murderer.
MÚSICAL
OUR GANG COMEDY THE REVELLERS
QUEEN'S
AT THE
WORLD
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY- At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
LON CHANEY
IN
66 THE BIG CITY
AT THE
TO-DAY &
TO-MORROW
ROMANCE
AT
5.30 ONLY.
AND COMEDY
MARSAL NEIL
IN
4
EVERYBODY'S
ACTING
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 2.30 & 7.15-Interpreter At 5,15 & 9,20–Orchestra
BROWN TO-DAY ONLY
FOR WELL CUT SUITS.
Suits made by us are distine. tively tailored from Finest Quality Mater iala and are of Irreproachable CUT, FIT and STYLE and of
Unequalled
Value
2nd Floor 7, Daddell St.,
Shirts and Pyjamas
made to Gentlemen's
At 5.30 & 9.20 p.m.
MAY MCAVOY
IN
"A RENO DIVORCE"
with
opposite Gospel) Requirements at RALPH GRAVES
TEL 23056. Reasonable Prices
THERE'S A LONG, LONG TRAIL
of
Bugs, Floss, Flica, Beetles, Mosquitoes,
wil. Billed
A daring ultra-modern story of Renovated lives!
At 280 & 7.20 p.m. Chinese Picture:
Reminiscence
of Peking"
AT THE
KEATING'S MAJESTIC
Nathan Road, Kowloon