HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, JULY 8, 1930.
THE FAMILY ALBUM-INFORMATION
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Teacher: "What is the most elas- tie thing in the earth ?"
Frank: "The fish that got away from Father!"
"What did the landlady do when the found you had left the light burning for three days?".
"She turned us both out."
"Nobody," writes the author of a recent article on jokesmithery, "will admit that he makes a living at jokewriting."
Well, dear brother, nobody does.
The Vicare The collection this nqrning will be taken in aid of the arch fund, and not, as erroneously printed in the Parish Magazine, in aid of the arch fiend."
"Oh, why was I ever brought up to be a writer sighed the cub to his fellow reporters.
"You weren't!" came the unex- pected reply of the city editor.
·Driver of Old Car (after road side halt): "You don't notice that knock in the engine so much now, do you ???
Friend: "No. How did you fix it?'"
Driver: Oh.. just loosened one if the mud-guards. '
I
Motor-Cyclist (to rider he has caught up): I say, the young lady has fallen off your pillion scat!"
"Oh, thanks.' was the reply "I'l! - get another at Nottingham."
"Well, my little man, do you go po school
"Yes, sir."
"Well, that's just fine! What do you like best about it?"
"Vacations
A keen angler took his friend for a day's sport. The friend knew no thing of fishing, but decided to try his luck.
After a long silence by "the banks of a stream, the novice said: "I say, how much do those little red thing, cost!"
You
vien n the floute? Oh, hey're cheap. WHY ?**
"I owe you for one. Mine's just sunk.""
A-man who had been making a tour of some of the smaller towns in the North of England was telling a friend that among the things be would always remember was the "Prince of Wales's" "bed at one of the places. His friens confessed he didn't know the Pfince of Wales ever stapped there.
"Oh. I don't know that he does," was the reply, "but 1 call. it
The dinner guest's nose was ex-Prince of Weless' because it has ceptionally large, and Father had three feathers!" noticed Wille staring at it. Ex- pecting the boy to make some frank and outspoken comment, he gave him a disapproving glance.
"That's all right, Dad," came the reassuring response, "I'm not go ing to say anything. I'm just look ing at it!"
Things got so noisy in the Bat upstairs last night that I finally went up and knocked on the door.
"Boggs," I said, "here's some- thing I want you to rend." And I handed him a sarcastic article I had clipped out of a humorous pa. per about the family upstairs.
"Heh, heh, heh!" he said, when he had finished it. That's pretty good. Lemme have it, willyat wanta show it to the family up- stairs."
At a meeting of the committen governing a local football cup com- petition objection was made to any of the officials making the draw for the next round. After heated dis- issira it was decided to co-opt a disinterested person to conduct the draw. A cheerful old gentleman was asked to officiate and the names of the teams were placed in a hat and mixed up.
The hitherto noisy meeting be came quiet as the old gentleman prepared to draw out the Art of the teams--tradition holding that the first team out was in most cases victorious.
He unfoided the tiny scrap of paper and astounded the eager lis- teners by saying "Six and seven- eights.".
ACENTIRAL THEATRE. £Paramounts Sound Pictu
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Your Last Chance to see the best show in Towa at Popular Prices.
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Screen's First Musical Comedy!
a Paramount ALL TALKING-SINGING
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The MARX
BROTHERS
COCOANU
WITH
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SHAW EATON
MARY
ALSO
PARAMOUNT
SOUND
NEWS
|AY, giddy jesters! The
Gworld's four funniest
men! The Man Brothers! In their great laughing, mus. ical hit! Ziegfeld's two brightest stars, Oscar Shaw . and Mary Eaton Irving Berlin's melodies! Groups of ravishingly beautiful "dan- cers! Gorgeous settings! Dancing. Singing! Laughs! Entertainment de luxe!
NEXT CHANGE CLAUDETTE COLBERT
IN
"THE LADY LIES"
A PARAMOUNT PICTURE BOOKING AT ANDERSON'S AND 70E THEATRE. (TELEPHONE 25720).
ANSWERS DOORBEL. STRANGER ASKS CAN HE TELL HIM WHERE THE PLETCHERS LIVE
WIFE CALLS SHE'S SURE HE SAID FLETCHER, AND WAIT TILL SHE GETS WIL FRED TO TURN OFF THE WATER IN THE BATH - ROOM SO SHE ON HEAR 15-10
FRANCO-ITALIAN TENSION.
ATTACKS BY MUSSOLINI'S BROTHER.
CALLS TO FAMILY POES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE A FAMILY NANED PLETCHER LIVES.
Franco-
AFTER A LOT OF CALL- ING UPSTAIRS WATER IS TURNED OFF MIL- DRED SUGGESTS IT MAY BE THE NEW HOUSE ON ELM RD.
Paris, June 27.-The Italian tension remains for the time being the most interesting subject in political circles the Press aleo dealing lengthily with the, recent attacks on France by Mussolini's brother Arnaldo, whose judgment, it is asserted, has beep warped by his anti-French bias. Le Temps declares that the Duce's brother is attempting to make con- troversial capital ous of France's precautionary measures in order to distract the nation's attention from Italy's growing domestic difficul ties.
WIFE SHOUTS FROM UP- STAIRS IT'S THE THIRD HOUSE FROM THE COR- NER TWO BLOCKS DOWN AND WHY DOES HE WANT TO KNOW
THIS STARTS DEBATE WITH HER MOTHER WHO IS SURE THAT A FAMILY NAMED PER- KINS HAVE MOVED IN THERE
(Copyright, 1934, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
HONG KONG POLICE RESERVE.
[ORDERS BY THE HON. MR. E D., C. WOLFE, CALO, INSPECTOR- GENERAL OF POLICE.]
"General.
Revolver Practice. The regulas
EXPLAINS HE DOES N'T, IT'S A MAN AT THE DOOR) WANTS TO KNOW, AND "! THAT'S THE FLETCHERS! HOUSE, THIS IS PLETCHER;
STRANGER AT DOOR MUTTERS NEVER MIND AND DEPARTS HUR- RIEDLY
GWYAS WILLIATE
WHITE AUSTRALIA.
CONDEMNED BY WELL- KNOWN SYDNEY WOMAN.
THE PROSBERITY OF JAVA.
Mrs. Mark Foy of Sydney, who weekly revolver practice (volun was recently passenger · from tary) will take place at the Bowen | Singapore on the steamer Marella, Road revolver range on Wednesday, said that she had been athazed at July 9, from 5.30 p.m. to 7.30 p.m. the prosperity and progress in the It will be open to all ranks of the East. H.K.P., Special Constables, Sharp- shooters Company, Hong Kong Police Reserve and to all persons holding permits to carry arms.
Police Training School. The weekly classes for Police Reservists at the Police Training School, Kowloon, will be held on Tuesday, July 8, at 3.30 p.m. Al members of the Chinese and Indian Companies Course are requested to attend. demands
It is, the paper says, stupidity or even worse to question France's motives in protecting her frontiers against attack. France has no ter ritorial nor "any other claims against Italy, whereas the latter persistently advances
which involve French rights and in- terests. The French people will al- ways consider war with Italy as an insane and criminal adventure."
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 2.30. 5.30, 7.20 & 9.20
p.m.
By Popular Request
EMIL JANNINGS
IN AN
ERNST LUBITSCH
Production
"THE PATRIOT"}
with Florence Vidor,
Lewis Stone,
Neil Hamilton.
A
No lover of Superb enter- tainment will miss "The Patriot "
AT THE
MAJESTIC
Nathan Road, Kowloon.
"When I motored through miles. and miles of wealthy plantations of cocoa, tapioca,tobacco, and rice, and endless systems of water con servation, with beautiful roads everywhere, and 40,000,000 proplo living peacefully and in prosperity in a small area in Java and the other islands my thoughts were with my own country, with its vast area of emptines," she said. "
"Thiry years ago we had nearly. 4,000,000 people, and now we have only 8,000,000 Why cannot Austra- lis emulate Java We can, grow
Chinese Company. Equipment Officers.-Crown: Sgt. Ris Ow Yeung Kin Heng is anything that Java can grow, and pointed Equipment Officer vice Sub- Inspector E. Mow Fung resigned, with effect from July 4, 1930.
Indian Company.
but for our wretched White Aus tralia policy millions of capital would be available for plantations" in tropical North Australia. While Parade.-All ranks of the Indian | Java is moving ahead in great pro- ! Company are reminded of the gressive strides, Australia, with parade to be held at Police Head- vastly superior natural resources, quarters on Tuesday, July 8, at 3.30 seems to be going down and down p.m. sharp. Dress: White uniform into a state bordering on bank- and belt and cap with white cover. ruptcy. Money would pour into. Australia if cheap labour could be had for plantations.
Flying Squad, Strength. The following recruits bave been taken on the strength of the Flying Squad and posted as
under:-
Constables R334 Harold Kew and R330 Tam Kong Ling to Hong Kong Section as from July 5.·'
Constable R351 Almos Bush to Kowloon Section as from July 5.
The weekly instructional patrol
"In a young country like Aus- tralia the dole system i, a disgrace,, You will never, make good on the land in the tropics without colour- ed labour," added Mrs. For
Press Delegato's Comment. Speaking on June 12 at the Bradford luncheon to the delegates to the Empire Press Conference, of the Kowloon Section will take Mr. Alan Powers (Melbourne) said place on Tuesday, July 8.. Fall in the question was often asked whe at the Taimtsataui Fire Brigadether the Dominicus would like to Station at 3.30 p.m. sharp. Dress: get out of the bond tieing them to Khaki uniform and cap with khaki Britain. The answer was definitely- "No." For Australia it was more The weekly instructional patrol matter of self interest than with of the Hong Kong Section will take Canada Australia relied on the place on Friday, July 12. Fall in strength of the British fleet and at the Central Police Station at the force of Britain in the Govern 5.15 p.m. sharp. Dreas: Khaki ani-ments of the world, to maintain form and cap with khaki cover,,
cover..
F
Sharpshooters Company.
Strength.-Constable B400 Li Lu
Sang has been taken on the strength
tha ideal of a White Australia.“
"Wo have no moral right to a White Australia," he added, "un- less by whatever metas in power, we set about justifying it.
our
of the Sharpshooters' Company as We are only able to maintain, it from June 19.
Rovolver Practice. Revolver by the the defence Britain affords Us Our contribution is by no practice will be carried out on the means comparable to our gain." Bowen Road Range on Wednesday, July 3, from 5.30 p.m. to 7.30 p.m., Members will bring their revolvers, belts and holsters. Uniform op tional.
MiscellaneouK,
for the Life Saving Certificates and Medallion
Mr. Sirdar Khan, A.S.P: (R.), Lile Saving Class-At 'the ex Constables R215 Fazal Mohamed, R235 Mohamed Ramzan and R250 amination held by P. Sergt. B. J. Hunt, Royal Life Saving Society's A. Hamid of the Indian Company, examiner on Thursday, July 3, at and Constable Ra33 A. W. Mooney the Kennedy Town Bathing Beach, of the Flying Squad Section.
the following members of the Hong. Kong Police Reserves were qualified (Continued of foot of next column.)
(Sgd.) D. L. KING.
D.S.P. (R.). Hong Kong, July 7, 1950.
HAPPY DAYS
ALL TALKING MUSICAL MOVIETONE
with supreme stars of stage and screen Janet Gaynor, Will Rogers, Charles Farrell, El Brendel, William Collier, Sr., Tom Patricola, Walter Catlett, J. Harold Murray, Marjone White, Warner Baxter, Edmund Lowe,. Sharon Lynn, George Olsen with his music and
other Movietone mighty
10 tinkling tunes by 10 leading tunesmiths
Directed by
BENJAMIN STOLOFF
10 SONG SMASHES BY
10 LEADING TUNESMITHS
Dances Staged by EARL LINDSAY
AT THE
QUEEN'S
MAY
Presented by
WILLIAM FOX
TO-DAY TO THURSDAY At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9 20.
CONRAD
MCAVOY NAGEL
AT THE
אני
Slightly Used"
STAR
FINAL SHOWING TO-DAY
At 9.15-
At 5.30 Only,
"NICOLA
• WILLIAN FOX, per
DOLORES DEL RIO RED DANCE
CHARLES FARRELL
IYAN EINOW
AT THE
WORLD
TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY
At 230 & 7.15-Interpreter
At 5.15 & 9.20-Orchësfra
Stamp Collectors
Will find an interesting
article in the " Press Every Thursday.
"Daily