HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Ned: "I understand Harvey writes for a living."
Red: "Yeah? Where does his wife work?"
"Daddy, can you speak Rus-, sian
"No, Jimmie, I cannot."
Boy! "T'u through, sir." Bass: "Through what?"
Through with the errand.” "What ermind?"
"I don't remember, sir." Then do it bier again!"
Mother: "You had better itay "It's a good thing we don't live in the yard, Willie. The pilots in Russia, isn't it?"
might take you away in their air- Planes"
First Collegian: "I've given the matter much thought and have de- cided not to join a fraternity."
Second Ditto: "Shake! I didn't get an invitation either."
"How has your potato crop turn ed out, old chap' asked one and ent amateur gardener of his neigh- bour.
"Splendid, old man," replied the ather "some are as big as marbles, some as big as peas, and, of course, quite a lot of little ones."
Prison Chaplain (to prisoner about to be discharged:) "Now, my man, try to remember what I said. in my sermon last Sunday, and make up your mind never to return to this place."
Prisoner (deeply moved): "Guy'nor, no man who ever 'enrd you preach would want to come back Pere again."
Willie "Oh, there's no danger, mama, they never get so low down as that."
Captain Sniff: "Sergeant Bjones. don't you know you are exposing yourself to an imaginary enemy over there 30 yards away?*
Sergeant Bjones: Yes, sir, but
I am standing behind an imagin- ary rock 20 feet high."
I have a little dog,
He's very intellectual, And to describe his culture
My words are ineffectual. When he gets in the library
Quite carefully he scours it, And when he finds a book that suits
His taste, why, he devours it.
Elderly Lady (meeting sailor na country road in 1040): "Sir, do you know my son Jack in the Navy 7"
Sailor: Which ship is he serv
Lady: "What! Be there two?"
A Negro girl came in a bank reing in gularly to draw her weekly pay. She could not read cr.write, so she "made an X on the receipt. Then,
one day, she made a circle, s
"What's the matter, Mandy? Why don't you make an X as usual ?” asked the cashier.
"Why," Mandy exclaimed, "Ab done got married yesteday - and changed mah name."
A street car inspector was watch- ing the work of the new conductor. Here, Foley," he said, how is this? You have ten passengers, and only nine fares have been rung up."
Is that so naked Foley. Then, turning to his passengers he yelled :. "There's wan too many on this car. Git out, one of vez."
Two men were gazing at a new building that was being erected in a country lane.
What is it to be asked one of them.
"Well," said the other, if I can get a tenant for it it is a dunga. low; if I can't it's à barn."
Johnny Daddy.. what does 'trana' mean?"
Daddy: "Please don't bother me: I'm reading."
Johnny: "Well, but please' tell- ne what transatlantic' meane."
Daddy (shortly); "Across the At- lantic."
Johnny: "Well, does 'transpar- ent mean a crois parent?"
ENTRAL THEATRE
A
Paramounts Sound Picture R TO-DAY to "WEDNESDAY Daily at 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9.20 P.M.
A SUPER-PRODUCTION AT ORDINARY PRICES
TRZ
Screen's First Musical Comedy!
a Paramount
ALL TALKING-SINGING
Picture
The
MARX
BROTHERS
THE
COCOANUE
OSCAR
SHAW
MARY
EATON
AISO
PARAMOUNT
SOUND
.NEWS
NEXT
God's Your funniest
AY, giddy jesters! The
men! The Marx Brothers! In their great laughing, mus ical hit! Ziegfeld's two. brightest stars, Oscar Shaw and Mary Eaton! Irving Berlin's melodies! Groups of ravishingly beautiful dan cers Gorgeous settings! "Dancing? Singing! Laughs!
Entertainment de luxel
CHANGE
CLAUDETTE COLBERT
IN
"THE LADY LIES"
A PARAMOUNT PICTURE.
BOOKING AT ANDERSON'S AND THE THEATRE, (TELEPHONE 25720).
HONG KỌNG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, JULY 17, 1930.
SUBURBAN HEIGHTS
EVERYBODY WAS CONTENTED ON OUR STREET UNTIL
ERNIE PLUMER PAINTED HIS HOUSE, MAKING
EVERYONE ELSES IDOK SHABBY BY CONTRAST. THE MEN ARE STEADILY LOSING GROUND IN THE ENSUING FAMILY ARGUMENTS WHETHER OR
NOT TO FOLLOW SUIT
(Copyright 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
CHINA COAST
OFFICERS.
LATEST CHANGES IN
PERSONNEL.
·By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
18.8
5-9
GUYAS ・WILLIAMS
Mr. J. E. Storey, from reserve,THE SILVER SCREEN. has gone second officer, Tungchow..
Mr. W. N. Johnson, from resérve, has gone second officer, Chusan.
Mr. J. G. R. Gow, second officer, Sunning, has gone second officer, [Changchow."
Captain C. Matber, of the Wuhu, Sunning. is on reserve....
Captain A. V. "Winckler, from reserve, has gone master, Wuhu.
Captain P. J. Green, of the New chwang, has gone master. Shan- sung.
Captain F. Gibbs,, of the Kiu. kiang, has gone master, New- chwang.
Captain I. Newton, of the Knog- ting, has gone master, Kikiang.
Mr. R. L. Stenner, second officer. Tainan, has gone, second officer, Kiukiang,
Mr. F. Kelly, second officer, Kiu- kiang, has gone second oficer, Sui- yung.
Mr. S. E. Reis, second officer, Shantung, is on reserve.
Mr. A. G. Parker, second officer, Kaying, has gone acting chief of cer, Nigpo.
Mr. T A. Ellis, chief officer, Ningpo, has gone chief officer, New- chwang.
1
"Mr. R. Curnow, second ofser, Hanyang, has resigned from the C. N. Co.
Mr A. S. Lewis, second officer, Tungchow, has gone second officer, Hanyang.
TO-DAY
At 2.30. 5,30, 7.20 & 9,20
p.m,
DOROTHY MACKAILL,
LOWELL. SHERMAN
IN
'CONVOY"
A mighty drama of the sea dogs of to-day.
Added Attraction --
J. Backhmann
and his Oriental Strollers in forty minutes of Acrobatic and Dancing
Feats.
AT THE
MAJESTIC
Nathan Road, Kowloon.
from
master.
Mr. J. H. Pontia, second officer, Kangting, has gone second officer
Captain D. G. Burleigh, Home leave, has gone Cheongshing.
Mr. G. E. Hudson, from reserve, has gone chief officer, Hopsang.
31r. A. B. Osmond, chief officer, Hopsang, has gone chief officer, Yatshing.
TWINELING STARS.
There seems to be a sort of
rivalry between movis producers as to who can get the biggest crowd. of the most brilliant stara on a foot of Alm The Fox Movietone are showing at the Queen's Theatre to-day a picture called "Happy Days," in which it is claimed one hundred entertainers from Broad Mr. H. A. Whittle has been ap way and Hollywood appear. We pointed second officer, Leesang. quite believe it, though not attempt- Mr. B. J. Walsh has been aping to keep a record of the score. pointed second gfficer, Kutwo.
Mr. J. R. Anderson, third officer, But whether there were 99 or 101 Namsang, has resigned from the entertainers seen on the screen does Indo-China S. N. Co.
Mr. L. J. Stevenson, from special not maks any difference really; leave, has rejoined the Indo-Chins there is a whole lot of amusing S. N. Co., and is on reserve. scenes and songs, starting with the Mr. E. Noble-Campbell has join-simplicity of a minstrel-show and ed the Indo-China S. N. Co., as junior officer and is on reserve.
Mr. J. S. Beattie has joined the Indo-China S. N. Co. as junior
officer and is on reserve.
Mr. T. S. Griffiths, from reserve, has gone second officer, Tuckwo,
Mr. H. C. Cooper, second officer, Leesang, has gone extra second officer, Hopsang.
Mr. A. C. Morice, second en gineer ofheer, Kain Peking, is on
reserve.
Mr. G. R. Wensley, second en- gineer officer, Hain Peking, is on
reserve.
Mr. D. F. Stratton, third, en- gineer officer, Wenchow, has gone third engineer officer, Linan."
working up to sensationally specta-' eular scenes with beries of sixty chorus-girk »
"Happy Days" is a pot-puurri of songs and dances rendered and executed by some of the cleverest entertainers of the day. Humour, melody, and graceful beauty are the outstanding features of the film, and the mix ure is most skilfully blended. The picture is showing at the Queen's until Thursday night.
Mr. H. Maidment, third enginen "THE COCOANUTS" AT THE officer, Linan, is no reserve.
Mr. J. F. Green, third engineer officer, Kaeichow, has gone third engineer officer, Sunning.
Mr. E. C. O. Bird, third engineer officer, Sunning, is on reserve.
Mr. J. J, O'Callaghan, second engineer, officer, fuckow, is on Home leave.
Mr. W. Bauld, from reserve, has Kone second engineer officer, Tuckwo
|
CENTRAL
"The Coconuts", drawing crowded houses at the Central Theatre. "The Coconnuts" is funny if you like the amazing Marx Brothers and their broad comedy. Without doubt they keep moet peo ple laughing most of the time. Two groups of girls appear in the. chorus-the Gamby Hale girls, and MR B. Symington, third en- the Allan Z. Foster girls and they gineer officer, Mingsang, has gone do some very clever danoes. There third engineer officer, Siangwo. is a running fire of witty dialogue Mr. J. Fowles, third engineer in this film which is an entertain officer, Siangwo, is on reserve.ment in itself, apart from the Shipping and Engineering." Songs and dances.
HONGAY SMOKELESS EGGS COAL
FOR
HOUSEHOLD USE.
KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN AND NEATI
NOTE CHEAP PRICES
In lots of not less than half-ion; delivered to:—
Peak District (above Bowen Road) "Bowen Road and Lower Levels
Pokfulam Road Kowloon
PER TON, $23.00
...: $21.00
$28.00
$19.00
Orders should be sent in writing, not by Telephone, at least 24 hours before the coal is required, and orders must be accom panied by carb, cheque, or compradore order payable to 8ZE WAI & Co.
Please apply for prices of other descriptions of col
for banker, factory, and other purposes.
· TELEPHONE No. 25009.
SZE WAI & CO.
49, BONHAM STRAND. WEST, HONG KONG. (CANTON BRANOH-SZE WAI & CO., LoĽ YU SUN HAD, CANTON
PHONE NO. 13850.)
ALL TALKING MUSICAL MOVIETONE
with supreme stars of stage and screen Janet Gaynor, Will Rogers, Charles Farrell, El Brendel, William Callior,
STYDAYS
Sr., Tom, Patricola, Walter Catlett, J.. Harold Murray, Marjorie White, Wamer Baxter, Edmund Lowey Sharon Lynn, George Olsen with his music —, and
other Movietone mighty
· 10 tinkling tunes by
10 leading tunesmiths
Presented by
WILLIAM FOX
Directed by
BENJAMIN STOLOFF
10 SONG SMASHES BY
10 LEADING TUNESMITHS
Dances Staged by EARL LINDSAY
AT THE
QUEEN'S
MAY MCAVOY
AT THE
IN
TO-DAY TO THURSDAY
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9 20.
CONRAD NAGEL
Slightly Used".
STAR
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 5.30 Only,
At 9.15
"NICOLA"
AT TEL.
Warner Bios Prètenš
FANNIE BRICE
MYMAN
WORLD
TO-DAY ONLY At 230 & 7.15-Interpreter At 5.16 & 9.20-Orchestzfa
Interested In Wireless?
Then look for some interesting news in the Daily Press " next Thursday.