HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"How did you like the andirons, Uncle Jim sent you ?”
"Oh, they did my hearth good."
"What was the verdict !"
"He was found not guilty, but the judge warned him not to do it again.
"Were you impressed with the sculpture in Europe?**
"No, you can see just as good radiator caps right here in Ameri-
en."
Bearding-House Proprietress: Mr. Smith, I heard you my on the phone that you were rather in a hole. I hope you were not refer ring to my establishment."
Wife: "Im going up to town this afternoon,"
Husband: Shopping ""
Wife: "No, I von't have time. I just want to get some things I need."!
Veteran Banker: "How is your new secretary getting along!"
Chairman of the Board: "Fine! She's been here only three weeks and has learned the names of all our vicepresidenta
"And how is your huszand get ring on with his reducing exercises, Mrs. Nuequids!"
"You'd be surprised-that battle. ship 'e ad tattooed on 'is chest is now only. rowing boat!"
"I am willing," said the "can didate after he had hit the table a resounding blow with his fist, "to trust the people!"
I
"John, the paper says the Jea kinses are back from their vaga- tion in Yellowstone Park."*
"Well, we'd better hurry right over and see them before they have their developed."
"Ah," said the talkative glob- troter, you shall see the sunset in the East
"I should like to," replied his friend "I've never seen it set any- whare but in the west."
Piano Movere Boss: "You're. fired. I won's have a man in my gang that can't lift a piano."
One of the Huskies: "Hold on a Tain't his fault. minute, boss. They's a Sunday paper on it.".
This is the
social story of a worker who asked the drug clock for a soda without faveur.
Without which favour?" asked the clark.
"Without strawberry favour."
We haven't any strawberry to- day."
Then I'll take it without cho- colate flavour."
Little Alene, four years old, over- heard her mother tell someone on the telephone that he had the wrong number and could get the right number by calling the operator. again.
A little later Alene was heard talking over her toy telephone and saying. This is the right number. If you want the wrong number you will have to call somelby else."?
The customer shook his portrait in the photographer's face. "Do I "Say." interrupted a little man in look like this picture! The thing's the audience, I wish you'd open an outrage i Why, you've given me an awful squint and the look, -grocery store here!"
of a prize-fighting bully. Now, answer me, and no nonsense about
ness?"
"Waiter," said the fussy diner, I want some oysters, but they mustn't be too large or too small. and they musta't be too salty, I want them cold, and I want them in five minutes."
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, who was under notice. "Will you have them with or without pearls ?"
Do you call that a good like.
The photographer scanned the print then looked at the customer. "The answer," he said, "is in the negative."
·3*
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, JULY 5, 1930.
MÄNNERS
GULTAS
ATTRIKS DINNER WITH GUSTO. NEVER WAS HUN- GRIER IN HIS LIFE
MOTHER WHISPERS TO TAKE HIS ELBOW OFF THE TABLE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
REMOVES ELBOW AND GOES ON WITH DINNER
RAN A SOLID YEAR ON THE B’WAY STAGE,
THE
TH
-Now A Talking
Thriller !
SHAIR
Tod Browning's "production' with
Conrad Nagel, Leila Hyams, Margaret Wycherly.
Tod Browning' ft Talk ing film! Tho ultimate in Chilla and Thrills!
FATHER REMINDS HIM NOT TO TAKE SUCH BIG MOUTH
FULS
·MOTHER EXCLAIMS JUST LOOK AT THE WAY HE HAS LEFT HIS KNIFE AND FORK
HONG KONG VOLUNTEER
DEFENCE CORPS.
fonDERE BY MAJOR E. D. L. DOWDIGGIN, COMMANDING HONG KONG, YOLUX,
TEEN DEFENCE CORPS.]
Parades.
(a.)-Battery-A short lecture with practical work will be givên And the customer went away with by B.5.M. Worne, R.A., on Thurs look of deep thought on bis face.day, July 10, at 5.30 p.m. at Stone-
CENTRAL THEATRE EParamounts Sound Pictures R TO-DAY to WEDNESDAY Daily at 2.15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9.20 P.M.
A SUPER-PRODUCTION AT ORDINARY PRICES
Tar
Screen's First Musical Comedy!
a Paramount
ALL TALKING-SINGING
picture
The MARX
BROTHERS
THE
COCOANU
OSCAR
SHAW EATON
MARY"
ALSO PARAMOUNT
SOUND
NEWS
NEXT
GAL, giddy jesters! The
world's four funniest men! The Marx Brothersi In their great laughing, mus. ical hit Ziegfeld's two brightest stars, Oscar Shaw and Mary Exton! Irving Berlin's melodies! Groups of ravishingly beautiful dan cers! Gorgeous settings! Dancing Singing! Laughst Entertainment de fuzel
CHANGE
CLAUDETTE COLBERT
-IN-
"THE LADY LIES "
A PARAMOUNT PICTURE
BOOKING AT ANDERSON'S AND THE THEATRE.
(TELEPHONE 25720).
cutters.
AUNT MABEL ACROSS THE WAY SIGNALS HIM AND DABS AT HER MOUTH WITH NAPKIN
REFLECTS WEARILY WHAT FUN EATING WOULD BE IF PARENTS WOULD STOP HARPING "ON
TABLE MANNERS (Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
REAUZES IT'S A SIGNAL TO ÜSE HIS NAPKIN AND COM
PUES
IS ADMONISHED TO SIT UP STRAIGHT. WISHES DIN- NER WERE OVER
Field Firing THE SILVER SCREEN. Sunday, July 13. Exercise. Full details will be pub lished in next week's orders.
(e.)-Armoured Car Company. Car Section. The following will parade at Kowloon Railway Station at 5.30 p.m. on Friday, July 11, for driving instruction on No. 2 Armour- ed Car:-
Sergt. E. D. Labrousse. L/Cpl. J. 8. Flegg
Pte. E. J. J. Spradbury. Pte. A. G. Clarke.
All other ranks will parade at (b.) Engineer Company. A Headquarters at 5.15 p.m.for.in- Miniature Range rifle competitionstruction on No. 1 Car under the will take place at Headquarters at Cpl. A. Nissim. 8.30 p.m. on Monday, July 5, be tween a team from the Company and one from the Royal Engineers.
(c.)-Corps Signals.-Signal Class will parade at Corps Headquarters at 5.30 pm on Thursday, July 10.
(d.)-Machine Gun Troop.-Thurs day, July 10. Parade at Causeway Bay Stables at 5.30 p.m.
TO-DAY ONLY At 2.30.5.30, 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.
Corinne
Griffith
Infatuation
When infatuation for another man tugs at the bonds that hold a wife and a wife dares face her husband with the truth-there's 'drama that. touches the heart of every- one who has known love!
Added. Attraction at — 7.20 & 9.20 p.m. Performances. J. Backhmann and his Oriental Strollers.
in forty minutes of Acrobatic and Dancing Feats.
AT THE
MAJESTIC
Nathan Road, Kowloon.
HINDU WRITER IN CAST OF
'THIRTEENTH CHAIR.”
La Chand Mehra, famous Hindu writer and lecturer, appears as a talking-picture player in "The 13th Chair Tod Browning's new mystery production, adapted from the famous stage play, now play- ing at the Queen's Theatre. He is a graduate of the University of
Mator Cycle Section Parade at Headquarters at 3.30 p.m. on Fri- day, July 11, for Machine Gun In-Bombay and University of Cali- fornia, and nephew of an Indian struction.
(f.)-Scottish Company-Parades Prince. He was first engaged as Thursday, July 10, 1930, For Machine technical adviser, and then asked Gun Instruction.
to play the mysterious servant in the drama.
No. 8 Platoon at Kowloon Dock under Lieut. G. Duncan, M.B.E.
No. 7 Platoon at Headquarters at 5.30 p.m. under Capt. H. R. Forsyth.
Fifles and Bayoneta.
All rifles, bayonets and scabbards will be handed into store as soon as possible for the annual inspec tion by the Armourer.
All the above must be in a thoroughly clean condition when handed in (repeated.)
Promotion.
No. 1403 L/Cpl. J. Barnes, Corps Sigrals, is promoted to the rank of Corporal as from July 4, 1030.
Reversion.
J
No. 462 Sergt. C. B. Easterbrook, Corps Signals, reverts to the ranks at his own request.
Corps Flashes.
The new flashes for the Corps topees are now ready. Officers and other ranks will hand their topees into the store, as soon as possible for the purpose of having the flashes properly sewn on (repeated.)
Corps Stores.
In future the Corps Store will be open during the following hours: Mondays and Wednesdays; ́ á.m. to 12.30 p.m.; Tuesdays Thursdays and Fridays: um. to 12.30, p.m. to 4 pm, 6.p.m. to 6.30 p.m.; Saturdays: 9 am to 1 p.m.
Headquarters Staff.
In future the Commandant, Ad- jutant and Corps Sergeant Major will be at Headquarters on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings only during the Summer months, unless work of an urgent" nature has to be dealt with in which case special appointment will be made with those concerned,
In this connection it is notified that a set of note books (one for ench O.C.) has been placed in the office of the Adjutant in which Ofeera Commanding Companies, etc., can enter notes on any subject which they wish the Adjutant to deal with should' the latter not be present at the bour at which the officer concerned visits Headquar tors.
Corps Notice Boards.
It is notified for information that a central Corps Notice Board bas been placed outside the lecture room door, on which will be placed notices affecting all Companies, etc., Corps Orders will be placed on this Board only in future.
A "What's On board has been placed on the left of the above on which will be posted brief notifica tions of current events taking place in the Corps such as rifle shoots, field firing exercises, concerts, etc.. A special Board has been placed in the Miniature Range for notices and extracts from Small Arms, Training, etc.
(Continued of foot of next column.):
Song Romance Brilliantly Done. "Happy Days," a scintillating talking, singing, and dancing pro. duction, in which the best-known stars of the stage and sercem ap poar, · begiha engagement at the Queen's Theatre to-morrow. It is a Fox Movietone, romance with dazzling story. It is the biggest picture of the year.
Prominent in the ensemble of 100 entertainers are Will Rogers, Janet Gaynor, Charles Farrell, Victor McLaglen, Edmund Lowe, Walter Catlett, George Jessel, William. | Collier, Br., El Brende, Marjoric White, Frank Richardson, Warner Baxter, "Whispering" Jack Smith, Lew Brie, Ann Pennington, George MacFarlane, Tom Patricola, Dixie Lee, James J. Corbett, Richard Keone, Charles E. Evans, David Rollins, Sharon Lyan, J. Harold Murray and George Olsen and his
Music
Marximen Delight Oeztral Andience.
"The Cocoanuts," now showing at the Central Theatre, shows the method of musical comedy brought to the screen to provide a delight. ful entertainment. Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppe; the four Marz Brothers, are superb, and register just as perfectly on camera and micréphone as they ever did on the stage. Those who see The Cocca- nute" at the Central Theatre, will see the same show as those who saw "The Cocoanuts" during its year run on the Broadway stage, and they will seo and hear more. Irving Berlin, who wrote the original music and lyrics for The Cocoanuts," contributed the catchy new theme song "When My Dreams Come True," to the screen presentation, and Mary Eaton, Ziegfeld's scintillating star, and Oscar Shaw, Broadway's favourite icading man, have the romantic leads.
Official Manuals.
Officers Commanding Companies, etc., will pleased forward to Head- quarter-by 9 am on Wednesday next, 9th instant, returns Showing their requirements with regard to Official Training Manuals; attention is drawn to King's Regulations para, 1897 and appendix XXIV.
(Bgd.) W. H. G. GOATE, Capt.,
Adjutant, H.KY.D.C., K Hong Kong, July 4, 1930.
COMEDY
"ARABIAN DAZE"
AT THE
FOX NOVIETONE NEWS
QUEEN'S
The
YANKEE CLIPPER
AT THE
WORLD
MUSICAL WINNIE LIGHTMER
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
with WILLIAM BOYD ELINOR FAIR.
At the FINAL SHOWINGS,
TO-DAY
At 2.30
and 5.30
TO-NIGHT at 9.15
The SALISBURY CO. presenta
"SO THIS IS LOVE"
JOHN GILBERT
TWELVE MILES OUT
with JOAN CRAWFORD FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 5.15 & 9.20.
At 280 & 7.15-Chinese Picture "FIERY SEBPENT"
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REISS, MASSEY & CO.,
-7, QUEEN'S ROAD, ÜENTEAD,
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