:|
I
4
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN..
Visitor: Is Farmer Giles in " Roy: "Yes, sir, you'll find im in the pig-sty. You'll know 'im- he's got a hat on."
"What's the matter, my dear? Are you lost 7"*
"Yes, I'a-a-am. And they can't afford to lose me, 'aos I'm "the
-only one they've got."
Judge: "Have you ever seen the prisoner at the bar
Foreman: "Now Murphy, what about carrying some more bricks 7" Murphy. "I ain't feeling well, gav'nor I'm trembling all over."
"Well, thon, get busy with the sieve.
"Why are you standing over there throwing stones at that poor little boy 1..
Because I daren't go any closer, misa. He's got whooping-cough!"
Do you know, never, once dur
and I disagreed!"
Witness: "Never, my lord: buting our married life have any wife I've seen him when 1 strongly sus
pected he had been there,"
She: "You think it's unlucky"to he thirteen at table?"
He: "I do! Why, once when there were thirteen of us around the table I had a most delightful girl sitting next to me.
"And she died?"
"No-I married her."
"Men make me tired," declared the conceited young lady, contemn. ptuously. They are absolutely lacking in self-control, judgment, and good taste."
"Possibly you're right," retorted the young man. "but just think how many old maids there would be if they were not."
A countryman called at the off- cs of fire insurance company to insure his shop and household effects.
"What facilities for extinguishing a fire have you in your village t enquired the official.
The man scratched his head, pondered for a moment and ans wered. "Well, there's the rain!"
"Well, well. That's funny daren't contradict mine, either."
Д
I
Well: well exclaimed Mrs.. Talker, looking up from the morn- ing paper. "Boots"and shoes should be getting much cheaper now. Here's
paragraph that states that they are being made from all sorts of skins, even rut ekins." and then, trying be funny," he added, "I wonder what they do with banana and orange skins
to
Mr. Talker: "They make slip-
pers
A Wenry Willie called at an office and asked for a job. "Can't
said the merchant give you one,'
Two other men here are on the same errand."
Just then another citizen cuma in and said to the merchant: "I can find work for one of these men." Pointing to the last comer he said,
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8, 1930.
CHRISTMAS IN THE NURSERY
WONDERS WHAT THIS
CHRISTMAS IS THAT HAS THE FAMILY ALL STEWED UP.
AND RUSHING BACK AND FORTH WITH TISSUR PAPER AND RED RIBBON.
AND ALL IN ALL HE HASN'T BEEN GETTING MUCH ATTENTION
12-18
WHATEVER IT IS, HE DOESN'T LIKE IT - THE HOUSE HASN'T BEEN THE SAME FOR WEEKS
DADDY'S BEEN SPENDING ALL HIS TIME TRYING TO FIND PLACES TO HIDE THINGS.
EVEN WHEN HE CRIES "THEY'RE TOO BUSY TO
COME AND FUSS OVER
HIM.
(Copyright, 1929, by' The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
EVERYBODY WHISPERING AND HAVING SECRETS,
AND MOTHER CANT THINK OF ANYTHING EXCEPT PEOPLE SHE'S FORGOTTEN TO SEND CARDS TO.
AND HE BETS THAT WHEN CHRISTMAS ROLLS ROUND,
ALL THE FEAST HE'LL GET IS THE SAME OLD BOTTLE OF MILK.
You come along with me and I'11 | TWO DEAD MEN IN A CAR. NEW FRENCH "FORTIFICA- find you something to do,"
In pained and surprised tones, "Weary Willis enquired, "Why
me
An
old but sturdy Irishman, who had made a reputation as a gang foreman, secured a job with railway construction company in Haiti.
Wife (looking up from the pa per): "Isn't this strange? A man. after a fit of illness, was unable to remember his wife, and did not believe she was the one he mar. I shirk. ried.
Hubby "Well, I dunno. It's pretty hard work sometimes for a mau in realise that his wife is the
same woman be once went crazy over."
INQUEST. VERDICT OF "MISADVENTURE."
A verdict of Death by misad-. venture ' was returned at the in- guest at Shenley, Herts, last
TIONS.
FRONTIER DEFENCES TO BE MORE MOBILE.
MURDER WHILE SLEEP- WALKING.
WOMAN FOUND GUILTY BUT INSANE
"If you accept the suggestion that the woman killed the child while she was under the influence of somnambulism, and therefore did not know what she was doing, it is your duty to say that she is guilty, but insane.'
André Maginot, Minister of War, oath, on George Smith, of Bar has made an enlightening state- nct, and William Soul, of Ciren-meat before the army committee of easter, who were found dead in the Chamber of Deputies in Paris One day, when the sun was hot-motor-car stranded in a water rogarding the entirely different ter than usual, his gang began to splash.
character of the frontier defences of France now under construction as compared with those existing before the war. The fortifications of to-day are conceived of asˆ a
Mr. Justice Charles gave this support for covering troops and to direction in his summing up to the prevent hostile penetration. New jury of a case at Hampshire Ae elements are their extreme adapt-sizes in which the defence that a ability to territory and mobility. woman committed a murder while
sleep-walking was set up.
As the chief engineer came up he heard the Irishman shout: "AI fez! you sans of guns, allez!" Then turning to the engineer: he said, "I curse the day I iver learned their language."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
12
14 15
16 7 18
110
112
15
14
15
16
17
18
19 20
21
124
125
26
29
150
.34
138 139
45
50
55
196
४
135
36
刚
42
128
51
152
847
མ གཅེ
ག
Horizontal.
1.-Border.
4.-Musical note.
8.-Tasty.
11.A cordial.
13.-Stretched.
15.-Pronoun 16.-Judges.
13.-Mother.
19.-Six.
21-Plum like fruit.
22-To atupify.
ין
21.-Possessive pronoun.
26. To dispatch.
28-Mineral
20-Methuselah's father. 31.-Caledonian.
33.-Plural ending.
34 Spike.
36. Ostriches,
38.-Therefore,.
40.--Insects.
42-Boredom. 45.--Fart of to be. 47.-Expires,
49.-Descendants. 50-Small pic. 52-Transaction.
64.-To exist,
55.-Pronoun. "
50.-Vituperative.
2
59.-Article:
61.-Closer.
63-To degrade.
65.-To aver.
66.-Type measure. 67.To change colour."
1.-To chop.
Vertical
2.A number. 3-Musical note.
4.-Evergreens.
5.-Auxiliary seed coverings.
4. Special knowledge.
7-Part of circumference. 3.-Defile.
Within.
12-Ninety.
11.-Northern Europeans. 17. Parts of shoes.
20.--To smooth.
23-Toward.
2.-Masculine pronoun..
25.-Mark of wound.
$7.-Rounded roof.
30.-Hastened.
32.-Casks.
33.-Spare time.
37.-One who affects superiority,
38. A kind of cloth.
39.-Speaks in public. 41.-Geeans. 43-Restless. 44.-Exists.
46. Comparative ending. 48.-To slip.. 51-Ancient Irish capital. 53-Level.
57. To wager. 54--Ebenezer (abbr.). 50.By birth.
62.-By.
01.-Public notice.
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
Ho. 1536 BIGER
A POJED HP) PAY DADRIE ELUXOROYE 1101/EYE'
CORSI RING DISE. ENFEI GIZD30IRE1 2003 (SED LIPASEAZ
Victor Merchant, of Barnet, the driver, said that he and his brother Prince and the two men went to a public house for a game of darts. On leaving the inn he drove the ear to the splash, hut was unable to get through.
After a time he collapsed over the steering-wheel, and when he came round saw a policeman, who took him to the station. He was afterwards allowed to go home, where he went to bed.
Merchant said that Soul and Smith were perfectly sober. He thought he became ill owing to the fumce from the engine. He had heen gassed in the war.
Instead of a long line of solidly constructed forts situated at inter- vale along the frontier, permanent and impregnable fortifications are heing made only, at certain key points. These are served by road and underground communications. For the rest, fighter concrete ebel- ters and gun emplacements are being put up and a system of field fortification parks which edn be moved rapidly from one place to another is being worked out. All the details will have been com- pleted in the coming year for the north-cast frontier and by 1931 for all frontiers.
Went Home to Change. Prince Merchant said that when the car became stranded he saw the other three men, as he thought, in a comfortable eleep, and went bome to change his wet clothes."
Police Constable Gibbons said
The feature of defence which is the three me in the ear appeared to be in a drunken sleep. There specially characteristic of post-war was a smell of heer. He unsuccess change is the selection of a parti fully tried to rouse them by shout- cular type of fortification to suit the country in which it wne eitu ing and shaking them."
Dr. Edgerton said death was dugated, whether on a plain or among The defences are to in each case to syncope, following mountains, exposure, induced by the influence be glastic and use, is being made of of alcohol. There were no signs of both heary fort and supple field carbon monoxide poisoning.
defence units according to their Dr. Thomson, who also examined best disposition. the bodies, said that what struck him was the fact that the flesh was almost a bright vermilion colour and the heart was empty.
This condition, be thought, was possibly due to carbon monoxide poisoning. The coroner' said both windows of the car were open, and there was no evidence of the density of the gas and no evidence which pointed to manslaughter.
SHIP'S CAPTAIN AS SMUGGLER.
CIGARS DISCOVERED BY
of
PENSION LIMIT TO GO.
BOON, TO DISABLED EX- SERVICE MEN.
Mr. F. O, Roberts, the Minister Pentions, announced amid cheers in the House of Commons last month that the Government have decided in effect to abolish the teven-years' time limit for claim- ing disability pensions.
guilty, but insane, and Mr. Jus The jury found the woman
tico Charles made an order for her
to be detained during the King's pleasure.
Doctor's Evidence,
}}
Margaret Alexander, aged thirty, was accused of murdering her son. aged three, at Newport, Isle of Wight, by cutting his throat with
a razor.
Dr. Watson, senior surgeon at Brixton Prison, stated in evidence that he would not say it was im possible that Alexander committed the murder when sleep-walking, but he had never known such a case
Dr. Watson, replying to the judge, agreed that if the act was committed when the women Was sleep-walking then her mind would not be functioning.
Alexander's counsel contended that she should be acquitted be cause she committed the act when sleep-walking, and had no waking knowledge of what she had foun..
ry fo
GIANT AIRPLANE DIVES
ON ROOF.
HOUSES BURNED IN TWO
CRASHES.
"IN OLD MADRID" DURING 1929.
(Continued from Page 1.)
when д
"National Consultative Assembly." was called into being possessed of none of the powers and prerogatives of the Cortes, which had not me since the coup d'etat abolished Constitutional rights..
With the "advice" of the Assem- bly, the Government drew up a new Constitution, the draft being com. pleted in July, 1920. Its publica- tion immediately brought forth objections from
Conservatives, Liberala, and Socialists alike-all except those intimately connected with the Dictatorship expressing a preference for a return to the Con- stitution in desuetude, that of 1876. In view of this, the Government treated, 49 new seats in the Assem-, bly, offering them to various ladies, and to all ex-Premiers and ex-Pre- sidents of the old Senate and Cham- her of Deputies. The majority re- fused to accept the seats tendered;
some bodies elected enemies of the Dictatorship, or even men in exile, o men already entitled to n sent. Faced with this new turn in the situation, the Dictator" postponed the meeting of the Assembly several times, and it is now supposed to meet early in 1930-but whether or not his remarks above quoted mean that the Constitutional project is abandoned temporarily or definite- ly, no one can say.
Relations With Portugal.
A new era in Spanish-Portuguese relations is imminent, and as a sign of the desire for mutual co- operation between the two Iberian' neighbours, President Antonio Fragoso de Carmona made a State visit to Spain in October, stepping at Madrid, Barcelonn and Sevilla. King Alfonso is to return the visit in April. The two countries plan to co-operate mainly as regards cork production and distribution, and hydro-electrical development of rivers which run through the, ter- ritories of both."
Public Improvements. Public improvements continued to be effected at a rapid rate; in fact, with such energy and expense that bankers and economie review- ers warned the Government that the work was proceeding too fast end resulting in the infliction of too big
burden on the taxpayers. Besides
constructing important roads and notably improving, the Dictatorship has sought to protect railroad system of Spain, the
The year, however, showed an ad- verse trade balance, which had its natural reflection in the decline of the peseta.
industries and create new ones.
In its programme for a Greater Spain the existing regime has placed much emphasis o velopment of the Navy. The entire fleet spent a month manoeuvering in the Mediterranean (September 15-October 15), the King himself spending no less than nine drys afoat with the feet.
QUEEN'S
PRESENTS
SPEAKEASY
ALL- TALKING
with PAUL PAGE and LOLA LANE
ADDED ATTRACTIONS
„HEARST'S METROTONE NEWS STAY LAUREL AND OLIVER HARDY IN "THEY GO BOOM"
GUS EDWARD'S INTERNATIONAL REVUE.
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15, & 9.20.
WORLD
Norma JALMADGE
The
HENRY
KING'S
PRODUCTION
WOMAN DISPUTED
"with" GILBERT ROLAND
At 7.15 & 9.20
Mlle. AMETA
Notable forward strides in the matter of education took place, hundreds of new schools being in- augurated throughout the realm, while notable progress was made in construction work of the new Uni-TO-DAY & TO-MORROW versity City on the outskirts of
At 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20. Madrid. Worthy of praise is the Government's work in preserving artistic and historical sites, and of facilitating communications to them, and establishing suitable The Government have decided," the largest ever built in America,
The giant Fokker airplane, F32, botel facilities at points of interest. Spain's efforts to cement the bond said Mr. Roberts, to take such which can carry thirty-two passen-between it and its former colonics action in regard to the seven years'
gers, dived out of control recently will continue after the expositions limit with regard to ex-service men
when over Roosevelt Field, Long are closed, and increasing import- as to ensure that all claims of ex-Island, and crashing on the roof once is now being given each year service men will be considered, and to extend the present regulations in certain important respeels, to that in future arrangements will be made for, dealing with the vari-
THE CUSTOMS.
William Richard Fielding Hol- den, aged forty-five, master of the steamship Kemun, was accused at Liverpool Police Court last month of unlawfully, concealing 225 cigars with intent to erade Customs duty, ons claims for disablement and enclimbing out of the wreckage after
Mr. A. H. Melville, chief prevensuring the following essential tive officer, who prosecuted, seid
points:
that the Customs looked on smug- "1. That no application is re- gling by masters of ships as a seri-jected solely on the ground that Qua offence.
the applicant has passed the time
It was stated that Captain Hollimit." den made a declaration of 500
2. That every applicant shall cigars, on which he paid duty, but have an opportunity to produce his personal baggage, which was evidence in support of his claim. intercepted as it was being remov, "3. That all evidence in support ed to the shore, was found to con of a claim is fully considered, and tain an additional 225 cigars which every reasonable ground investigat- had not been declared.
ed. Captain Holden told the magi- strates that he had forgotten these extra boxes of cigars, which he placed in a drawer, when he bought them at Singapore.
of a house caught fire and set alight to the celebration of Columbus Day -October 12-which is now known two houses, which were almost com-
ns the Fiesta de la Raza," or pletely destroyed.
celebration of the "Day of the Only the pilot and one passenger Race," were aboard, and both escaped,
the crash.
They were Mr. Boggs, inspector of the Department of Commerce,
and a mechanic. Neither was FILL YOUR FOUNTAIN PEN
jured seriously.
Mrs, de Beaver and her infant child were on the lower floor of the house when the airplane ́fell on the roof. She grabbed the child and rushed into the street unhurt.
Load Tosta.
I have arranged," added Mr. Roberts, to make use of the statu Roosevelt Field. It gave its first The airplane was the pride of tory powers of the Medical War exhibition flight in September, and Pensions Committee and to inves-passed its early tests perfectly. It tigate caacs of dissatisfied appli-was undergoing it, load tests when cants.
the accident occurred.
"After my ship had arrived at Liverpool," he added, "I was scar- "I intend to secure independent ching for a paper which I had mis- advice by the appointment of me- I weighed 13,800 pounds empty, Inid, when I opened this little-us dical experts to be nominated by and had a carrying capacity of 8,700 ed drawer. I found the cigars. I the president of the College of pounds and a maximum speed of then realised, that I had made a Physicians and Burgeons, to be as false declaration, and instead of gociated with my department in throwing the cigars into the dock, advising in cases where there is as I might have done, I foolishly material conflict of evidence." put them in my suitcase."
The magistrates ordered him to pay &föret tap the treble-value and
Replying to further questions. Mr. Roberts said there would be no rejection of a claim or the ground of time limit only.
140 miles an hour.
It, accommodation for thirty-two occupants included sleeping quar-
tera for sixteen.
It was intended to have been put. in servies on the TPSİCER BİR GE.. i-press-routes carrying passengers- between Los Angeles and St. Louis,
and write a Chit to 11, Ice House Street
BEFORE YOU SAIL
and order the Weekly Press to be sent to you Oversesa. 'It conta
$3.75 for three months
$7,50 for six months.
$15.00 for a year.
PARISIAN DANCER
STAR
WILLIAM MÁINIG
BALLY ONEIL
FINAL SHOWINGS "TO-DAY