HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"How do you sell this cheese? "I often wonder myself, ma'am.”
Mother. "How far have you read in your new book 1
Teddy "All but the clean. радс
"Lend me £1, will you?" "I've only 10. Bd."" "Well, give me that, I'll trust you for the rest,"
Mother: "I hope he isn't one of those bold young men !!!
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY
Old Lady "My poor man, I sup pose you have had many trials in your life t
Tramp: "Yes, ma'am, but only one conviction."
First Wedding Guest: "I under stood that the groom has the ra putation of being a very timid maa-but, he spoke up wonderfully well at the ceremony."
Friend of the Family: "Ah, but you see, his best man is Chinnery, the ventriloquist,"
Judge O'Flaherty: "Haven't you leen before me before?"
Daughter: "Bold! When I said, If you wait until Christmas, per; haps I'll let you kiss me under the mistletoe. he said he would waited
Prisoner: "No. Y'r Honor. Ot niver saw but wan face that look- leike yours, an' that was a photograph of an Irish king."
Judge O'Flaherty:
The owner of the new cinema had¦ed! Call the nixt case.' just signed a fire insurance policy.
"Discharg
"Supposing my theatre is bura "I'm sure tennis hasn't made the Ted down to-morrow, what would
I get?" he asked.
About two years," replied the agent.
"Am I the only-"
"Don't" he murmured, "don't ask me if you're the only girl i ever loved. You know you are!"
"I was going to ask if I was the only girl who would have you," she asid....
Dun: Where are you. off to Ben 1"
Ben: I'm goin' to see the doe- tor. I don't like the look of my wife."
Dan: "I'll come wi' ye-I don't like the look o' mine either."
alightest difference to my looks," maid she, in reference, to the asser tion of someone who had said the game ruined a girl's beauty.
He (knowing nothing about any euch assertion). "Well, why not try some other game, deart"
Tom, aged nine, who considera himself an "old boy," was over- heard instructing Peter, who is to go to school shortly:--
I can tell you one thing-you'll find school quite different from home. They won't call you. Peter. They'll call you by your heathen
name
The fussy old lady had been pes- tering Zoo attendant for some time,, getting him to tell her about Mr. McTaggart, the oldest inhaall the various animals and their bitant, and a bit of a bore; went
WLYS.
to call on the minister, who was a ***And bugy man.
now," she continued,
want, to know about-but I forget what its name is a very harmless sort of creature; its meat is used for food, but it has a strong, tough ekin! Now what would that be 1'4
THANKSGIVING
DECEMBER 24, 1929.
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
PORTRAIT OF A COUPLE WHO HAVE JUST STAGED A FAMILY REUNION, TRYING TO KEEP UP THEIR SPIRIT OF THANKFULNESS,
GWYRS
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bdi Syndicate, Inc.) Whats
SPORT AND ATHLETICS.
THE RULES OF BILLIARDS. The suggestions which have been
changes in the rules of billiards are in contemplation are not based on fact. Since the red ball game
LT.A. INTIMATION.
PROBLEM OF CONGESTION. With golf claiming new victims open events attracting unprecedent- ed numbers, those controlling the game are finding it difficult to pre- vent congestion, even on our lar course, doubly acute on the shorter courses, especially where clubs can- got boast more than nine holes. This trouble is not confined to New
As the reached the "there's still another animal I made to the "effect that further Association have issued the follow each year, and the fields in thei manse gate he had a glimpse of the minister withdrawing from the, study window. He was therefore surprised when the maid informed him that the minister was not at home. But he quickly recovered.
"Aweel." he said, "jist tell the meenister when he comes hame that 7 didna call.’
"You'll and one in the refresh-
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
was restricted and consecutive ball-¦ed in connection with trade adver-ger courses The problem, is of
South Wales. The same state of affairs prevails in Victoria and ether States. Recently in an en- denvour to solve the problem, a Kingston Health official spent con- Finally, after searching tests, he siderable time in seeking & remedy, found that the much despised three- ball game was the best way avoiding
of
The Council of the Lawn Tennis
the Council having been drawn to ing statement:-" The attention of nuraber of cases in which players have allowed letters sigued by them, or their photographs, to be publish, ment rooms," said the bored attend-to-ball cannon, limited to 35, the tisements, the Council wish it to be known that they strongly de- | ant, It's probably a sausage game has been developed on much precate the practice of lawn tennis
you're thinking of i
more all-round lines, both by pro tradespeople, without at the same players giving testmonials to fessional and amateurs, than was time forbidding publication of the case before. The great scoring them, because the general public, ability of the modern players has rightly or wrongly, are undoubtedly shown that whatever changes are
of the opinion that the players "con- made do not lessen the possibility equivalent in return for these text
cerned received money or its of the big break. The chief endeav-monials. In the event of this in our of the authorities has been to timation being disregarded the make the game as versatile as they Council will take such steps as they can and to retain all the beauty may deem advisable to prevent the quickest way of finishing a competi
congestion, and the of stroke play. It is not consider continuance of this practice." This tion. During the course of his in- ed advisable to restrict the hazard decision was taken at a council vestigations, he found that much game more drastically than it is meeting in London, at which it was time was spent on the green when now, and, in any circumstances, it also agreed to invite the various would be most untimely to make County Associations to submit the players were in fours. Any player any alterations at this stage in
names of their most promising that has followed a four-ball game, view of the visit of two profession young players with a view to sr- will certainly confirm this state- al players from overseas. The los ranging for them 'to be coached by to be lifted and replaced, and ment. Frequently, the balls have ing hazard must remain the basis Daniel Maskell, the professional of the game, and to check this me lawn tennis champion, who is the much valuable time .wast. thod of scoring any more might be professional at the All England, ed. Many local clubs, in or- detrimental to its interests.
Club. Badges werd awarded as der to avoid congestion, which follows:-LT.A Badges: G. P. with its attendant evils is the bug- Hughes, H. G. N. Lee, Miss E. L. bear of all players, have a rule Colyer, British Badge: Miss E. A. | that at one-shot holes, those on the Goldsick.
green should let the pair behind play their tee shots, before they The Jihannesburg Star states that there is every prospect that H. W.
themselves putt. This has been Taylor, who captained the South
found beneficial and is, worthy of African Test teams from 1913 to autumn meeting the Earl of Drog-ter that is also worthy of consi-
Playing in the Addington club's
a trial by all clubs. Another mat- 1024 and who toured England under heda secured two prizes, the Arthur deration is the employment of fore H. G. Deane's captaincy this sum Collis bowl and the second division caddies on the dangerous parts of mer, will permanently take up re-handicap award. His score was the course. On certain courses there sidence in England. Although no 85-11-74. The seratch prize went thing has Lepa definitely settled, it to F. W. H. Weaver with 78, and are places that claim many balls, is understood that Taylor may join the aggregate gold medal to the and a reliable fore caddie would a well-known sports outfitting firm. Hen. W. B, Brownlow with 160. I save both time and money.
136
26
143
47
48 49
151
52 53
54
...57
Horizontal.
1.--Jewel.
4.-Large.
8.A constellation.
11.-Mohammedan.name.
12 In a line.
13.-To praise.
15.Pertaining to European race.
17-To-recede.
10.--To act.
20.To do wrong.
21.-Algerian governor.
22-To be ill,
23-Egyptian singing girl.
-Shell that fails.
20.-Poker stake.
27.-Vegetable."
28.-Drunkard:
20.-Cunning...
30.-Part of infinitive.
31. Calling forth compassion.
33.-Musical note.
35.-Paddle.
30.--Pelt.
37.-Distant.
28.-Rage.
40.-Dark brown
41.-A colour,
42-Devoured.
49.-Nothing.
43.-Pronoun.
41.Unchivalrous person..
40.-Extinct New Zealand bird.
47-Hearth guard.
30.-Girl's 'tame.
39.-Reclined.
$4.-Card gaue.
55.-Quarrel
50.-Let it stand.
67.--Finish.
Vertical. 1.-Aeriform fluid.
-Old cloth measure. 3.-Malarial poison, 4-Self-admiring.
3. Part of circumference,
6. Thus
-Unfinished wool cloth. 8.--Vestment.
-Syiahol for radium.
To give sparingly.
16-By way of
-Alongside.
1-Obedient.
One indefinitely.
22.-Likely.
$4-A constellation. (the lion),
25.-Spot.
26.--Everyone.
8.Title of respect.
32-Pleasure.
20.-Prefix: above.
31.-Wages
3-Breeze making device. 31.-Chest.
35-Mineral. -
37-Musical equipment.
38.--To prove inadequate, 39.-Completo, d
40.-Clock faces.
41.-Shallow dish,
43.-Negative.
44-A coin.
40.-Benst's stomach. 4-For shame!
Vast age. 4-Measure of distance. SI--Negative, 53-By.
This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it,
WILL H. W. TAYLOR REMAIN
IN ENGLAND?
EARL OF DROGHEDA'S TWO
PRIZES.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
GROOM THE HANDS FOR BEAUTY.
Beautiful hands usually denote, ele, working round the nail base refinement and an artistic tempera and the sides; then carry it under ment, and for this reason they are the sides; then carry it under the likely to attract a large amount nail tips to clean them. Now rub af admiration. But beautiful some cold cream or vaseline into bands and neatly trimmed fingers the cuticle to soothe away any do not mean the unnatural fashion irritation that may have been caus which predominates in smart cized in trimming and controlling the cles and which manifests itself in growth of the cuticle, long claw-liko nails with a deep red tint.
The almond shaped nail is the one admired by most people, but for long, tapering fingers it nail conforms well to this type. A will be found that the oral shaped square nail on a short, chubby fin- ger should be shaped down ag much as possible at the sides so as to make it appear longer and more alender. It will then be brought YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION. to a blunt point in the centre.
Always file from the sides or the corners to the centre of the nail. using first a long steal flexible file and then a fine emery board to re- move the roughness left by the file on the underside of the nail.
While the shape of the nails is largely a matter of taste, it will always look better and more na tural where the shaping follows the curve of the finger.
1980P BAGIV DIZDIECEZBED 02. PALLADY LE AS HOOD. SOUP AZON NOEL TED
BOOK BEDF
BOID BALVO XLP 32OP: DEAN GRID DORA ABO IR AKIBIDL TN RODZES DEIIBE
is
SEAWEED THE NEW GREEN FOR FROCKS AND JEWELS.
Green is to be a fashionable colour this winter. Not the apple varieties so suited to the fair-hair- ed debutante, nor yet the chartreuse shade which was favoured last year by her elder sister, but bottle green and the shades that range round it. The newest and most beautiful of these is called algue, and, an its name suggests, is the colour of fresh seaweed.
There are long necklaces of sea- green Chinese jade, with earrings
most fascinating charms-lucky and bracelets to match, and the elephants, monkeys, and fish to be worn on a platinum chain, or dangling from the clasp of a brace- let.
Opinion is divided as to which is the better method of giving the nails a brilliant finish-enamelling or polishing. Because of the case with which a brilliant polish can has become popular, even though be given to the nails, enamelling the polish only lasts a few days, for it can easily be cleaned off with acetone and a new coat of enamel applied. Very pale rose-coloured. enamel should be chosen. It po The craze for green does not mean lishes are to be used, they will be that diamonds and pearls are be found on the market in the forming worn less than formerly. Dark of paste, powder, or stone. "In each green evening frocks are inclined case the nail will need to be bar to look dull unless worn in cou- nished by the use of a buffer. junction with brillant gems..
It will often be found that if the buffer is used in a cross-wise moquid should be applied to them-- tion, the nail becomes uncomfort just before the soothing cream "is ably hot. To avoid this, use the used on the cuticle. buffer in one direction only-from left to right--and in long sweeps; this will be found to give a higher An orange-wood stick with a lustre in a shorter time, as it po picos of cotton wool 1 wrappedlishes only that part which is re round the end is the most suitable quired. Pressure is never, neces instrument for dealing with the sary in order to get the right cuticle; it should ba dipped in cuti finish.
fI
An excellent bleaching solution can be made up by mixing together one part of liquid ammonia, one part of lemon juice, and five parta of hydrogen peroxide.
These three solutions are best. kept in separate bottles and a small quantity of the bleaching liquid
120562729-MARCCRA the mail race audinioaranda ng mayaired and retori
used gently to push back the cutied, a little bleaching cream or li to the proportions given.
BY APPOINTMENT
It is a pity to spoil a well served meal by forgetting to put on the table
Cerebos
SALT
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CRAWFORD, LTD.
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Covers, etc.
which are ideal as Gifts, and are sure of appreciation.
LANE, CRAWFORD, LTD.
Will be Open Until 6 p.m. To-day.
Sleeplessness
Your sleeplessness is
due to the weakened condition of your nerves, but once they are restored to a state: of quiet health and strength by just a fow
·weeks'' use of Sanat- ogen, sleepless hours will soon, be banished,
Insomnia of Long duration had produced great debilily. Sanat ögen, was prescribed and at the end of a fortnight the improve="
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Strengthen pour nests and body by a few weeks course of Sanatogen and go back to sound, healthy, sleep,
SANATOGEN
The True Tonic-Food