HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
John (speaking on telephone): "Is that you, sweetheart ?" Phyllis: Yes: who's talking
"I caught Bridget lighting the fire with paraffin this morning"
What did you say to her?", "Treminded her of her promise to give us a week's notice before leaving."
A young man just out of college sought the advies of a hard-head- ed and successful business man. Tell me, pleage, how I should go about gesting a start in the great game of business."
"Sell your wrist watch and buy an alarm clock," was the laconic reply.
He took her hand in his and gaz- ed proudly at the engagement ring he had placed on her fair Singer only three days before.
"Did your friends admire it?" he inquired tenderly,
They did more than that," she replied. Two of them recogniz ed it."
*
A
depart on Abe was about holiday to the Continent, Sol had come to the station. to wish him good-bye.
Wife: "You shouldn't ever take anything that doesn't agree with you."
Husband: I had always fol. lowed that rule, Marin, where would you be 14
Granddad:" I dan't approve of all this lipstick business, Betty Art cannot improve upon Nature
Betty: I don't agree with you. Where on earth would you be with- out your false teeth
Motorist Would you be good enough to look after my car while | I do a hit of business?"
Townsman Sir! I am the ma- yor of this town!!
Motorist: That doesn't matter. You seem to me an honest man,"
What the quarrel was about nei ther of them knew, but they had been hard at it all the evening. She was first thue for. pence. Seating herself coyly on the arm of her husband's chair, she said, coaxingly: "Come, John, dear; kiss my cheek and make it up."
But John was not in a gracious frame of mind. A he replied was, "I'll kiss it, but I don't think it wants any more making-up!".
As the train was abant to move off Sol said "Vell. cheerin," old chap, and remember the old pro- verb, Tea in Rome, do the Ro-nationality in Hollywood decided
mans,'
A certain producer of foreign
to go hunting, and called his valet up on the phon
Blease get my gun oud of the den, and sent it to me at the studio at once he commanded.
"What did you say you wanted, sir?" asked the valet.
The chairman rose to introduce Mr. Wise, the lecturer. He found. it necessary to mention that during the preceding year the membership of the society had fallen off con- Myun" shouted the produ siderably. This, he continued, hader into the instrument. "Gun!! resulted in a depleted treasury, making it necessary to depart from their usun high standard and se cure a very much inferior type of speaker for the current year, the first of whom," bramed the chair man, innocently, "I now have great pleasure in introducing."
E
Awfully sorry, sir." replied the valet, hat stil! I don't know what you mean."
"Gun roared the produrer, "Lister now! louder than before.
like in Gerusalem, like in rope, and N. like in Numonia. How haf you get mụ
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
12 13
12
24
19 20
4
7
18
10
la 1
26
129
130
34
138 39 40 40
196
19
22 23
27
31
172
[35.
36
42
148 189.49
150
52
54
56 57
8
145
155
65
162
1.-Overly.
le A M
Horizontal,
4. Part of "to be"
8.A colour.
11.A continent,
13. Rubs out.
13.-While.
པ་བ
18.-Musical instruments..
18A compass point. 19.-Toward.
21. To po by water.
-Leg coveringa.
21.-Wagers.
20. To run out evidentally.
-1 colour.
29.---Revises.
31-Sketched. 33-Sketched.
Plural ending.
34. -Stroke.
30.-To percolate.
25,-150.
40-Narrow minded person,
42-In music, slow.
43.---To tear.
47-Froth.
13.-Avenue,
50-Group taken as one.
18 E
66
11--Sows
17.-Expired.
137
14
20-Pertaining to the car.
Correlative of either.
24 To exiBL
21-To cease.
27-Part of ship.
30.-Breakers.
3.To carry as clothing.
33. Religiously.
37.--To supportą ;
38-Small particle,
26.-1n diret line."
11.--Opening.
13. Prison keeper (English spell-
ing).
44.-Hypothetical force."
48.--} umbled" "Typer
45.--To combine. 51-Small pie.
53. Heavenly body.
57. To place.
59-Symbol for silicon. 60--To join. 62-Musical note. 01.-Negative.
This puzzle took 90 minutes to
you to solve it.
52-Western American Indians. solve. See how long it will take
51-Italian river,
55.-Pronoun.
56-Declares.
38.-Musical note.
61.--Casks.
63.-- Achieved.
B.-irl's nickname.
60.-Comparative suffix.
67.-Ordinance (abbr.).
Vertical.
1.-A beverage. 2.-Ejected.
3.--Conjunction.
4.-Egyptian sacred bull.
Token of honour.
8.-Basements.
7.-31etul bearing rock. B.-Impetuous.
10.-One who signs lease, 12-Belonging 'to.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION. ··
E
ABROUS
BDM
DAISETE 3100 300208
WOR
HAZED UDA
ODE 3EADI
ODFELLDDER
이바
DIGES BOAZE
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 1929.
SUBURBAN HEIGHTS-BRINGING IN THE MILK
SUYAS WILWAMS
GOES TO BACH: DOOR TO BRING THE MILK IN.
GETS HOLD OF FIRST BOTTLE AND REACHES FOR SECOND.
SEES MRS, PERLEY NEXT DOOR OUT IN HER BACK YARD. DOESN'T LIKE TO STEP INTO VIEW IN
HIS BATHROBE:
151
GETS GOOD GRASP ON SECOND BOTTLE BUT FIRST BOTTLE SLIPS OUT OF FINGERS AND ROLLS OUT OF REACH.
Copyright, 1525, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT
.
A CAMBRIDGE ROWING LOSS. The resignation of Sir Henry Howard ns hum, teasurer of the Cambridge University Boat Club will be a great loss to the elth which he has served so well for a. number of years. Strangely en ough he is one of the few men who have changed their sport. As an undergraduate at Trinity Hall, he was, well known as an athletic Blue, winning the mile against Oxford | In 1897 and 1808. He also rowed | in the summer time, and, in his last year, there was a vacancy in the first boat and he was given the place mainly because he was known to have plenty of stamina. He has spent the greater part of his life since then in Indin, bus when he returned to Cambridge to take over the officer of Senior bursar of St. John's College, it was the river which claimed hin. He immedi ately met with remarkable success AS
AND
QU
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
"RETREATS TO WAIT UNTIL MRS. PERLEY
·GOES INDOORS.
DARTS OUT AND SEIZES BOTTLE JUST BEFORE IT STARTS TO ROLL DOWN STEPS, BACK DOOR BLOWS SHUT.
GETS TIRED OF WAITING. DECIDES THAT BY MAKING A QUICK DART HE CAN GRAB BOTTLES WITHOUT BEING SEEN.
WAITS NERVOUSLY, WITH ONE, EYE ON MRS. PERLEY, FOR WIFE TO OPEN DOOR.
11-14
ATHLETICS.
MANCHESTER UNIVERSITY
BEAT M.A.0.
CAMBRIDGE ROWING.'.
Third Trinity, winners for the The Manchester Athletic Club eighth successive time of the Cam-| Hartiers had Manchester Univers bridge coxswainless fours, owe ity Harriers as visitors for their much to R. A. Davies Cooke, the first inter-club run of the season. Blue, for the superb way in which he Trail was laid from their new steered the crow over the most dif- headquarters as Gatley Green by ficult course with four sharp benda Burgess (Salford Harriers) and J. In the University light fours row- Barker (M.A.C.) over about 8ing there is no coxswain, and the iniles of varied country. 5. S. An- steerer has the rudder lines fixed drew and I. S. Drew, of the to his foot. It was interesting to University, soon went to the front. closely followed by J. Halsey note that R. F. Ohlsson, who, but (M.A.C.), and at half-way. I. S. for a Jamaged knee, would certain- Drew held a slight lead. In the ly have been in the University Rugs. tast half-mile, however, J. Halsey made a great effort, but Drew won by team, was rowing No. 2 in the by five yards in 32min. 31sce. The finalists' boat. University, packing well, won with 31-points against the MA.C.' 47.
CHESHIRE TALLY-HO'S RUN,
Cheshire Tally Ho held the open
coach, and it is well known how he took Lady Margaret to the head- ing run of the season from Wilms- ship of the river, not to mention low by invitation from Mr. J. R. aumber of sucerases at Henley. Scott, who laid trail with W. J. He is succeeded by Mr. T. R. B. Mitchell over a seven-mile course Saunders, a Corpus Christ don.of varied country, including the Although it is six years since he gained his blue he was a member of the Leander crew which won the Grand this year. He has kept it Like Sir mainly by seulling. Henry he has migrated from ope college to another, as he was at Trinity as an undergraduate,
SUNDERLAND HALF-BACK'S
SUDDEN DEATH.
passage of the Bollin, to Alderley Edge and buck. E. A. Montague icd the fast pack at a good pace and landed home an easy first from H. M. Crighton. After the r the club was entertained at dinner by Mr. Scott at his house,,
INTERNATIONAL FOR OLDHAM.
HARROVIANS HELP.
Harrow Town Cricket Club, helped by Old Harrovians and
BY APPOINTMENT
Thirty years ago Cerebos Salt set the standard of table refinement, to-day it is still unchallenged.
Cerebos
SALT
Rapzonzulatzen: John D. Unichiron & Con Hong Kong,
STAR
THE FIRE BRIGADE
STARRING...
CHARLES. RAY
AND ..
MAY MCAVOY
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW At 5.80 & 9.20.
Theatre Royal
their president, Dr. Cyril Nor- December 14, 16, 17,
wood, are to purchase their private ground of eight acres at Rayners.. Inne-West Harrow, Enterprising builders and a garden village so- round this little sports oasis, and ciety have plans for development the timely help of friends has en- abled the club to complete plans for its purchase.
MANCHESTER CITY CASUALTIES. McMullan had not sufficiently recovered from his induenza cold Oldham Athletic secured the to play against Portsmouth and The death has occurred after a transfer of Cumming, the Hudders-Heinemann therefore continued in brief illness, of John Bartley, the field Town inside left. Cumming his place. There was also a doult Sunderland F.C.'s left half-back.made 17 appearances for the Hud about Tilson, who, was injured and
junior club in 1998.
to fill the vacancy, if it occurred.
18, 19, 20, 23,
At 9.15 P.M.
MATINEE:
Wednesday, Dec. 18th, At 4.30 P.M. (Children Half Price)
Bartley joined Sunderland from a dersfield first team last season und Teit had been sust to Portsmouth THE
scored six goals.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
TO-DAY IN THE NURSERY.
NIGHT FEARS.
to bed
Jt, is extraordinary how often and fresh air, very light suppers children who live in the most are given some time before going Txurious Barroundings suffer necessary pain and mental discom- fort. For instance, many children are terrified of the dark, and frightened of going to sleep in a room by themselves..
The reason
of this is usually that they are tortured by nightmares or night terrors. Instead that being taken to see a doctor, it is the custom to tell thern that they must not be little eawards, and that they are quite old enough to sleep by them- selves without all this nonsense:
Simple Treatment.
The children of parents who can- not afford so much luxury are treated very differently. If they disturb their parents by having Some time ago I heard of a nightmares or night terrors, they girl of nipe who had been ill for are taken off to the hospital where weeks with the "flu," as well as a children's specialist examines mixture of strange and painful them carefully. The cause of the symptoms. Her mother adored the child; but she believed in some nightmare may be indigestion, en- larged tonsils and adenoids, a homeopath who lived in the wilds Etuffy night nursery, heavy bedclo- of Scotland, and she refused to thes tucked in too tightly, pain, call in any ordinary doctor to see or also excitement during the day. I the child, until one fine day she
Night terrors are a symptom of woke with erysipelas
nervous instability, and the treat-
ment follows the usual lines of deal-
Poor Little Rich Children..
ing with nervous disorders. The It seems a shame that there are child is mude to lead a quiet and for hospitals for the poor lille sigh healthy life, with plenty of exercise children. When they get il a doc
tor, usually a general practitioner, is sent for. He may treat the case himself, or he may send it to a *pecialist,
If the child is seriously ill a trained nurse is imported into the house, or the child is sent to a nurs ing home, which is only intended for adult patients. Only the chil dren of the parents who cannot afford & private doctor are eligible for treatment in the ordinary Eng- lish children's hospital. There they can attend medical or surgical cli nico, they can also see the best Harley street specialists, who give their services free to the hospitals. Children admitted to the wards receive the most up-to-date treat- ment from doctors, ward sisters, and nurses who specialise in the care of sick children. As far as I know, there is not one single nurs ing home run exclusively for chil dren in the whole of London.
At some time or other every housewife has a lot of stale bread on hand, and is, of course, reluctant to throw it away.
If it is not being used up for puddings or anything like that, it can be made us good as new by steaming.
Bring a pan of water to boil- ing point and "place the stale bread in a steamer over the boiling water. Let it remain there. for five minutes, then re- num frEE HISTO
GEISHA
Booking at Anderson's
THERE'S A LONG, LONG TRAIL
of
Bugi, Fless, Flies, Beetles, Mosquitoes, etc.,
ail killed by
KEATING'S
BELETTERI
HADE
TELL THE SHROFF
to make out a Chit for $7.50 and send it with' your Home Address to 11, Ice House Btreet. In return, we will send you the Weekly Press for Six Months,
3
QUEEN'S
WILLIAM FOX
BEHIND that CURTAIN
ALLTALKING- SCOTLAND YARD MAMYSTERYAM
featuring
WARNER BAXTER
LOIS MORAN
TO-DAY TO THURSDAY At 280, 5.10. 7.15 & 9.20.
WORLD
WHO IS THIS
MAN
MENACE
OR
MARTYR
(SEE
RONALD COLMAŃ &VILMA BANKY VATWO LOVERS.
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 2.30 & 7.15 Interpreter. At 5.15 & 9.20 Full Orchestra.
THE TIME. FOR
BLANKETS
'18 HERE, BUT WHAT SHALL BE DONE FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD THEM P
MEMBERS of the Committes nt-
tend at the Society's Room. CITY HALL, EVERY MONDAY and. THURSDAY, at 10.80 to receive GIFTS of BLANKETS, Part-work „Olothing, etc....... A
7
...... HONG KONG BENEVOLENT,
(EBT. 1889.)
F6348