HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Eustace: Do you speak Latin?" Erica: No; I've never even been thore."
We "When I dance with you I feel as though I were breading on clouds!"
She; "Don't fool yourself: Those are my feet!"
Curate: "I hear your boy has a decided gift for recitation."
!
"Indeed, yes, and they say all hei uceds is a course of electrocution, just to finish him off like."
"Have you anything to say, pri soner, before sentence is passed up on you?" asked the judge.
"No, your lordship, except that it takes very little to please me.'
Teacher: "James, what is the op- posite of misery Pi
Jaroes: "Happiness."
Secondhand Car Salesman: There's no road too rough for her, nor any hill too steep. She's gone everywhere."
Customer (modestly): "I'm afraid she har"
Governess: "You're not trying, Bobbie! I've explained it to you twice already. I have only had to explain it once to your sjator!”
Bobbie: "Oh, well-women derstand each other!"
un-
She: "Ho's o romantic. When- ever he speaks to me he says, 'Fair lady."
He There's nothing romantic about that. That's force of habit. He used to be a tram conductor,"
Farmer "You'd be surprised, Mrs. Jones, at the number of chick ens I hatch each week down here. I average sixty to eighty."W
Mrs. Jones: Gracious! How ever do you manage to find names
Teacher: "And what is the oppo- for them all!" site of sadness ??!
James Gladness.
7
Teacher: "Fine; now give me the opposite of woe." James: "Giddap."
Lady (who was on a visit to her native town): "How is Mrs. Gabble? I haven't seen her for a long time,"
Hostess: "She is having her usual ups and downs."
**What may they be 1" "Oh, running up bills and ran- ning down her neighbours."-
"I really believe Jack has a soft spot in his heart" for me," she de- clared, proudly.
What makes you think that?" asked her rival, snappily...
17
"I am a man of few words,” an- nounced the big bosun's mate. MII Ebeckon with my finger, that means come !!"
"Suits me, boss," replied the rookie. "I'm a man of few words myself. If I shake my head, that means I ain't comin.""
While at Geneva an Englishman decided one evening to visit a fam- ous English garden. He found the resort rather difficult to locate, and after half an hour's search decid- ed to take bearings. Approaching an affable-looking stranger, he be- gan, "Eh-parlez-vous francais?"
The stranger glanced at him doubtfully, and replied with some reserve," "Oui-oui, m'sieu."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1929.
SUBURBAN HEIGHTS -NEIGHBORHOOD 'PHONES
GLUYAS WILLIAMS
SETS OUT WITH WIFE TO PAY A
NEIGHBORHOOD CALL.SHUTS
FRONT DOOR.
#
AFTER SORTING THROUGH COLLEC TION OF LOOSE CHANGE AND
MATCHES, FINDS. KEY IN OTHER
POCKET.
IMMEDIATELY HEARS PHONE RING.
CALLS TO WIFE TO WAIT A MINUTE, THE PHONE IS RINGING
SHUTS DOOR.AN- . OTHER TELEPHONE
STARTS RINGING... SOUNDS LIKE HIS BUT HE ISN'T GOING TO BE CAUGHT TWICE.
OPENS DOOR, SILENCE WITHIN, REALIZES TELE- PHONE WAS RING- ING NEXT DOOR AT THE PERLEYS.
Copyright, 1929. by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
By GLUTAS WILLIAMS
SEE THE LEAP OF DEATH!
FISHES IN POCKET FOR FRONT DOOR, KEY.
AT THE
TROTS AFTER WIFE, AND WORRIES ALL EVENING FOR FEAR THAT WAS HIS
PHONE AND IT - MAY HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT:
10-31
SPORT AND ATHLETICS.
PAID AND UNPAID.
The fact that the council of the Association have the move.
Er-ou- ester" then, resort-Lawn Tennis Why, the dear boy says he is ing in desperation to his mother always thinking of me."
tongue "Well, wheer's t' English given countenanes to "That's nothing to goby, garden 1"
ment to make possible a tourna sheared the other. "A man doesn't The other breathed a sigh of re- ment which will be open to ama- think with his heart. In all pro-lief.
teurs and professionals does not "Eh, lad." he replied, cheerfully, fability the soft spot you men tion is in his head.
"reet up hill and strenght on." of necessity mean that one will be held next summer, either at Wimbledon or elsewhere. But the step is a very significant one, and although there are still many op ponents to the scheme it will be somewhat surprising if at its next meeting the LT.A. does not pro- nounce its blessing on the recom mendation of its principal com mittee America has already tabl ed a resolution concerning the paid and the unpaid, and it is per- haps superfluous to mention that in the United States it is general ly felt that the time is now ripe for the Kezeluhs and the Lenglens to meet the Cochets and the Willses.
12
14
12
18 19
10
20
27
28
29
30
32
35
36
37
138
39
141
42
143
45
146
148
50
[5]
62
153
55
156
61 62
160 69
155
67
168
69
Horizontal.
1.-Sediment.
5.-Lighting device.
5.-Quarrel.
12-Persian poet.
13. Brother of Cain.
14.-A number.
15.-Above.
11.-Pronoun,
19.-Exclamation.
17.--Conjunction.
21.-Diplomacy.
-Prophet.
93-Looking like.
26.Breathes, audibly sleep.
27-Decorated with feathers.
16 Follower of Hindu philo- . To encounter. -
sophy.
18.-To steer wildly.
20. French for and.
22-Anarchiste.
24.-Possessive pronoun. 27,Baby Carriage.
20.-To stagger. 31.-Lair.
32. Tied, 34.-Oceans.
38. In this way. 37.-Speaks. 33.--Disturber. 41.-Musical note. 42.--Appendage. 44.--Region- 45-Girl's name 47. To snatch 48-Globes.
50-Te refuse. 32.-Speck.
54.Spanish article.
85-To obtain. 57-Plum-like fruit. 40.-Exists. 81.-Era.
63.-To aid.
65.-Beast's neck hair.
67. The sun.
18.-Officers' meal.
80. To advocate strongly.
Vertical,
1-French coin. 2.-Unavoidable.. 3.-Musical note. 4.To attempt.
-Kind of beer. 6.-Lives.
9,-Propelled with osta 10.-Upon
20.-Non-clerical.
33. To haul.
35.--Lone part
38-Addresses to knights.
10. To weary.
43.--Beromes void. 40-Heavenly being. 48-Runs away. 51-Old pronoun. 53.-Toward. 38.-Scotch cap. SA-Large bird. 60.-Diocese.
..
61.-While.. 62-To depart. 01.-Part of to be. 68-Symbol for urgent.
This puzzle took 22 minutes, to sre. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
No 150%
REPORT
DJO
MAZZOTE
PROP PAD SKIRZS 3T
VIE
S
HIDESI
ED
32 GWCURLI
10333 0ODAY
There is not the smallest prospect
MR. JOSEPES BACKED UP.
JOCKEY CLUB ELEŬTIONS. The Football Association bas up-
It has surprised many racing en- thusiasts that two of our most pro- held the action of the referce, Mr.
minent owner-breeders-Lord Aster Arnald Josephs, in ordering W. and Sir Abe Bailey had not, an Powell, the Grimsby Town captain, til the official confirmation of their from the field during the match election, become members of the Jockey Club. Lord Astor never between Liverpool and Grimsoy beta, but takes great interest in his Town, at Liverpool, but has im-Cliveden stud. The Derby still posed no punishment on the player cludes him, whereas several of his Powell was said to have encroached el at Manton, have won the Oaks. heyond administering a caution. home-bred fillies, which are train- when a free kick, given against the Sir Abe Bailey may perhaps won- Grimsby goalkeeper for carrying, der, in his dryly humorous fashion, was, being taken, and the referee whether he would not have been sent him off for ungentlemanly con- able to have rendered, out of his duct. It was submitted that the far flung knowledge of the turf, referee acted beyond his power, and greater legislative service to rac should not have sent the player offing as a younger and more active without a preliminary caution and unless the offence was repeated. The Football Association notified the Grinshy club that they upheld the referee's interpretation of laws den and thirteen, and a caution would be administered to the player.
man.
WRESTLERS BUTTED INTO INSENSIBILITY.
||
There was an extraordinary re- suls to a wresting match staged at Dallas, in, the United States, last month, both competitors being knocked out through a head-on cof- lision. The wrestlers were "Abio Coleman, the Brooklyn light-heavy- weight, and Clete Kaufmann, of Columbia. During the usual preli- minuries before coming to grips, both wrestlers made a simultaneous rush.
Instead of getting into holds, they met head to head with such force that both fell senseless. Coleman was the first to 'recover consciousness, and was declared the
of hext year's Wimbledon being over more than four or five days, free to amateurs and professional, and that would be restricted to a alike. The most that can be hop-number of selected players? There ed for is that a separate tournn.
should be no insuperable obstacles this to this. The leaders are already ment will be arranged, but could only be fixed on a series of seeded, so why not invite them to date late in July or some time in participate, with one or two others, August. Even then this would to make up the required totalj clash with Continental and Ameri- The die-hards of tendis are as much can arrangements, so that the pro- against mixing the paid with the hability is that we will have to unpaid as ever they were, but there wait until 1931-granted, of course, is a much bigger body of opinion that the L.T.A. does not turn down that considers that tennis should the proposal-before we see the first now be placed with golf and tennis "Open."
cricket. We will have to wait un- til December before the views of the L.T.A. are published, but it is to be hoped that they will have the courage to move with the times, cent match.
But why not have something a a small seale to begin with--a tour. nament, say, that would not run (Continued on next Column.)
THE WOMAN'S
winner.
Q.P.R. SIGN AN AMATEUR.
Queen's Park Rangers have secur- ed the signature to amateur forms of Edward W. Spencer, centre for ward, of Walthamstow Avenue. As.
representativ ton Villa” had a watching this player during a re
CORNER.
GIVE YOUR OFFICE FROCK TWO" LIVES.
A PRACTICAL SUGGESTION.
Nothing is smarter. for the office than a trim little frock of dark material with really tight fitting sleeves-but there is the snag.
A frock lasts as long as its sleeves and light ones soon give out at the seams and presently at the elbow.
However, they are too attractive to be resisted.
When buying the material for this winter's frock, get enough for. o skirt as well. It takes very little and with the aid of a good pattern is quite simple to make. The skirt and a woven jumper can be worn alternately' with the frock.
Simple Renovations.
Later on, when the sleeves of the frock wear out, new ones can be made out of the skirt and there will be no difference in the state
frock. It can either be pinned to the undergarment or fitted with press studs to fasten on to the neck opening
The variety of these fronts is end- less-plais material, patterned mas terial, tucked, lace trimmed, em- broidered.
Ringing the Changes. .
THESE CHILDREN OF OURS.
A CATECHISM STORY.
A small girl was bridesmaid a
Im Picture of 1000 fritts
DEITES
JANE I GAYNOR`
KMAKINS, MANIK SYAAN KIRkus Tearina Rua SAERA F.W. MURNAU
VODOT1904
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW"
At
QUEEN'S A 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20
STAR
MARION NIXON
IN
SILKS AND SADDLES
TO-DAY &. TO-MORROW at 5.30 & 9.20...
WORLD
ENTIRE
HAROLD LLOYD
PROGRAMME
TÖ-DAY & TO-MORROW Continuous 1.15 to 11.15.
FRIGIDAIRE
PRODUCT OF GENERAL MOTORS
Call and inspect the New Models in our Showroom
Consider these new Frigidaire features:
-So incredibly quiet you don't hear it
start, stop or run.
2.-Complete simplicity"
L:
plug it
into a convenient electric outlet and forget it.
3.-Easily portable
anywhere.
can be moved
4.--Mechanism completely concealed.
5.-COLD CONTROL
only on Frigidaire.
offered
DODWELL & CO., LTD.
Sole Distributors for Hong Kong and S. China. Queen's Bullding.
little while ago to her eldest sister, THEATRE ROYAL
who married a peer. She was naturally very much impressed by
the service in church, and the re-
Tel. C. 1030.
THE TIME. FOR
BLANKETS
18 HERE, BUT WHAT SHALL BE DONE FÜR THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD THEM
ception afterwards, with all the December 14, 16, 17, MS of the Committee at
party, food and presents. When the wedding was over she remarked to her mother, When I grow up I think I will marry a duke." Her mother, startled by such precocious worldliness, said gently, Darling, when you grow up I hope you will marry a man whom you love,”
18, 19, 20 and 23, At 9.15 P.M.
MATINEE;
The little girl considered this Wednesday, Dec. 18th,
carefully.
"Do you know, muni my, I think I could almost make myself love a duke." How seldom ambitious mothers are blessed with children like this!
of the materials, as so often hop- They can be bought quite cheaply pens with renovated clothes. Any or made from remnants and, as shine on the skirt can easily be they take about five minutes to removed by sponging with a solu- wash and iron, it is no trouble to tion of ammonia and water or rubbe always spick and span...... bing with a raw potato...
By ringing the changes in this Make the frock with a large way the life of the frock is consi- circular front opening, so
that derably lengthened, as no one could light vests can be worn.
tire of a frock that looked different!"They did promise and vow three every few days.
A little boy while learning his catechism was asked the question, What did your godfathers and godmothers then for you?" He started with the correct
anawer,
things in my name," thought 'for
At 4.30 P.M. (Children Half Price)
THE GEISHA
On a dark frock they are just as effective as light collars and Have one vest of the game materia moment, and continued,First, Booking opens at Anderson's cuffs and only, a fraction, of the al as the frock, so that light col that I should do no manner of mytrouble, where to re-relays and cada ona be waraydi,denkworla, diner my sono messy dough. De Monday Nozí.
"Make the vest square and allow red, without giving the abby Tere This was probably pro
wide margin to go under the effect of too many accessories. phecy..
at the Society's Room, CITY HALL, EVERY MONDAY and THURSDAY, at 10.80 to receive GIFTS of BLANKETS, Part-worn Olothing, etc.
HONG KONG BENEVOLENT SOCIETY. (EST. 1899.)
TELL THE SHROFF
to make out a Chit for $7,50 and send it withi your Home Address to 11, Ice House Street,
In return, we will send you the Weekly Press for Six Months.