HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"I hear that you acted in this last talkie."
"Yes, I footsteps,"
was the approaching
If, happiness exists.
I've found it-
A half a mince pie
With a boy around it.
Jimpson So that chap going there is the one who taught you'į to play the cornet ?"
Simpson: "Yes, sir he was the first tooter I studied under."
Stranger: "I represent a society for the prevention of profanity, I want to take profanity entirely out of your life, and-"
Jones: "Hey, Mother Here's a man who wants to buy our ear!"
A State of Maine Yankee had a son at Harvard. and. helieve it or not, received this. note: "Dad: Send a hundred. Raul." On the
xn mo
naner Father answered, "What for? Dad." On the same paper came the reply: "Dad: For" and it
was signed Paul. The money went off that night.
A motorist driving through Ire land was struck by the number of notices in Irish which he saw in every village,
"Tell me," he asked an old Irish- man, "why do they have all these notices in this language?"
"Well,' "came the reply. "Tm
sure I don't know meself. You see, none of the people who can read can understand Irish, and the ones who understand Irish can't read
She had just been up in an air- plane for the first time, and show- ad a keen desire to know all about the machine. The pilot did his best, and, after a long explanation of the theory and working of the plane. said:
"Now you understand. don't you?"
Said the girl, "All but
thing."
"And that is"
What makes it stay up."
40
|
Tourist: Well, what do you think of it?"
His Friend "Not much. Theao. mountains seem to hide all the sechery.
"Brown tells me he's got a house, fail of period furniture."
That's quite right. He has it for a pericd-then the installment people come and feach it away again."
})
Banker: You say a lot of peo- ple would like to see you marry any daughter 7"
Sheik "Why, yes, sir a lot of them."
Bitte ?
Banker: "Your creditors, I pre-
на
Father: "I shall allow my daugh tea hundred a year when she mar Ties,"
were
Prospective Suitor: "That's very fair, air. And what thinking of allowing her band?”
you hus-
The little girl was reading out her prize-winning "essay: "And then I usually end up the day by playing a game of chess with my brother:"
"But, you don't play chess, dear,”" exclaimed her mother.
"I know. I wanted to put dominoes, but I couldn't spell it
A farmer. being elected to the school board, visited the village farhod and tested the intelligence
the class by the question:
Now, boys, can any of you tell me what naething is?"
After a moment's silence a shu low in a back sent rese
It's what ye gie'd me the other day for holding yer horse."
The parents of a solehm little
boy are perturbed over his spirit of disenchantment and resignation to the worst.
i They were sending him off hy train to relatives on a visit and told him to write his name and ad dress on a card and keep it in his one! pocket.
The youngster did so, beginning "In case of accident this Johany Smith."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
Horizontal.
1. Chairs. 6.-Shallow place.
Li-Crense;
12.-Stops. 14. To get up. 15.-Happening. 17. To leave. 18-Devoured.
il
19.-Worked steadily.
20.-To scrub. 2.-Pronoun.
93.-Lost colour.
20.-Lady.
24.-Tried.
98-Kind of beer.
27-Old.
28.-Withered."
20.-General fight.
7 18
10
12
11. Sedite,
18.--Contended.
32
1.One who is recompensed. 20.-Ir.nted.
Parts of books.
22.--Mends.
25-Reception room.
20.-Conducts..
28-Burned with water.
20-Elementary substance. 20.-Rubber.
31.-A fiab.
32.-Astonished.
23.-Crippled.
36.-One who roams.
38.-To carry,
20-Tropical fruit. 41-Part of face. 42-To damage. 41-Six.
31.-Dissemination of evil reports. 48.--Musical note.
34-Love god.
35.-Thoroughfores.
33.-Mother.
37.To best..
36.-Rings, slowly."
-To obstruct."
40.-Bince.
.-11.-Adored.
12.--Labyrinth.
13-Jewish priest.
45-Lifted spiritually.
47. More developed. 48.-Defied.
Vertical. 1.-Sets of rooms. 4-C'nelio.
3-Part of to be.
4. Toward,
B-Grew larger.
Rate of progress. -Part body.. 8.-Beyond.
WAYNE
10. Bean plant.,
To erect..
was
This puzzle took 19 minutes to solve. See how long it will take your to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
10. 1511
BGRAZ ARA E FOLLY TAY 103 INTE PENT
SERVE. ORI BABIES ABODAL EGO DIOGUSDABY ELOI SIP 3238 FAREWELLS EJE 3HAVES70213
ET BOEROZIO
TRE
GAR
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY-CALLING SIGNALS
STARTS CALLING THE NEW SIGNALS THAT "THE TEAM HAS THOUGHT UP
AFTER HEATED DISCUSSION CALLS A NEW SET OF SIGNALS.
!BWYAS
·HAS TO STOP TO EX- PLAIN SIGNALS TO TUBBY WRIGHT, WHO WASN'T THERE WHEN THEY INVENT
ED THEM...
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
CROUCHES BEHIND CENTER AND BEGINS OVER-46-2-16- 28-1-2-3-15-29.
18
MORE ARGUMENTS BREAKING OUT, TELLS BACKFIELD NOT TO BE DUMB, IT'S EPPIE SELZER AROUND RIGHT *** FOR PASSING IT.
END.
REPEATS SIGNALS. BELLOWS AT CENTER WHY DIDN'T HE PASS THE BALL ON 56,
THATS THE NUMBER
| WILLAROS (Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate. Inc.)
BUDDY BEMIS AR- GUES THAT HE'S GOT THEM ALL BALLED UP. THERE COULDN'T BE A PLAY LIKE THAT.
CALLS SIGNALS OVER JUST AS
CENTER PASSES BALL.WHICH 15 RECOVERED BY OPPONENTS ON 10 YARD LINE.
10-2/61
SPORT AND ATHLETICS.
BRITISH POLICE BOXERS
TRIUMPH.
Five gallant London police con- stables fought a fierce battle in Berlin recently against five no less gallant members of the Berlin po- lice force, while a crowd of 20,000 thrilled Berliners looked on, wild with excitement. "
The crowd, which included Sir
Horace Rambold, the British Am bassador, and many members of the British colony watched the first boxing match in Berlin between a team of London police champions and the champions of Belin.
The first two fights gave two clear victories on points to London, Egan, middle-weight, beating Pautz, and Jackson, light-heavy- weight, beating Gaikowski.
噴
FIRST VERSION OF FOOTEALL
What is believed to be the first version of football, a crude game which has been played for centuries
THE ARTISANS TOURNEY. The Artisan Golfers' Associa tion's tournament was concluded competition over two courses. The by the hardy Tarabuana Indians nt Wentworth with the "Juniors"
leading net scores were as follows, of the mountain regions of the the return over No. 1 course being state of Chihuahua, will be exhi- hited in Mexico during the nation- G. Baker, Fernhill.(Windlesham) ni athletic contests to be staged given first in each case:~~~ (handicap 16), 68-70-130:-A in January under auspices of the Greentree, Epsom (15), 74-66– Ministry of Public Education... 140; G. Clark, L.GO.C. (14), 80- This crude sport consists of the 63-143; 3 P. Heath. Buxton and High Peak (10)71-183:
The leading scratch scares were: Heath (Buxion and High Peak), 103; Bond (Healey), 178; Challenor (Cantelupe), 175 *
|
players kicking and picking up and running for all they are" worth with a wooden ball. The object of the game is to send the ball be- tween two stones, which are guard- ed by the toughest of the playera The Tarahunna Indians are fam-
The prize for the best net score over 18 holes was tied for by Doiged" for their stamina and running
(Hartsbourne, Manor) and Clack (L.G.O.C.) at 63.
TO BE BORNE IN MIND. The London Police won the rub-
The suggestion of the Lancashire her by four events to one. Hearn
Society of Referees, that when a beat Thorci (middle weight), Titmus beat Daniel (heavy-weight), referee or linesman was reported and Wintgen beat Allen (London). Rugby League he should be allow to the management committee of
GENARO AT PREMIERLAND.ed to appear before that body, was considered by the management com-
- Frankie Genaro. the American | mittee. Their decision was that flyweight champion, saw one of his when such cases arose the sugges sparring partners,, Johnny Gibson, ¦tion should be borne in mind. of Bermondsey, in action at Pre- H. Winterburn, who had signed mierland. He was pleased with Gil-league forms for son's display against Jack Connell, Keightcy was ordered to appear be of Aldershot, and thinks he will; fore the next meeting of the com- make a fine sparring partner. Gil-mittee.
Batley
and
ability. They are the joy of gener- als who command them in the field, for they can dog-trot hour after hour with heavy packs. Many of these natives think nothing of run- ning all the way from their native heath to Mexico City, a distance of 000 miles.
4
An ancient version of baseball will be played at the national con- tests by Indians from the remote regions of the state of Vera Cruz.
the modern game, and it is believ This diversion closely, resembles ed that some enterprising Ameri- cdn saw the Vera Cruz natives in- dulging in this pastime and obtain ed the idea for the spot which is the recreation of practically every able-bodied 'present-day American.
so won the bout in fine style, but Reported players were dealt with there was not a great deal in it, as follows:-Carmichael (Hull}, ¦ herhuse both had leen put down for suspended for four matches; suspended
for three matches: brief counts before the match end- Rodgerson (Featherstone), Thomp-Smith (W. R.) (Bradford), suspend.
son (Keighley). Broom (Batley), I ed for two matches.
ed..
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
THE ONLY CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL.
The "only" child, thought often a little prattler at home, is liable, to become shy and self-conscious on beginning school life.
DO YOU KNOW?
1.
Wormholes may be picturesque
DON'T SCAMP THE LUNCH HOUR.
Occasionally, it is excusable to curtail the time spent on lunch, for there are some things that the business girl mast.do at mid-day, or not at all.
in old furniture, but it is discon-
The girl who scamps her lunch certing to find them in Dew furni-hour is found in every office. niture, for it means that the grabs have found a home there, and will gradually ent their way through all the wood until it is rotten. The wormholes are really ventilation holes for the grubs, so the obvious thing to do is to block up the holes to cut off the supply of air. But first of all the grubs must be kill- ed, or they will simply make other holes.
.
To do this, fill a fine syringe with turpentine or eucalyptus oil and force a little of the liquid into each bole. Allow it to soak in: then repeat the process. Do this several times, and then block up each hole with putty or plasticine. Put a touch of water-colour paint, the same colour as the wood, over the patty.
ther.
Habitual lunch-hour scamping is different. It means going without necessary food, or, at the least, hasty swallowing of an insufficient meni. In both cases the health Buffers.
about.
ALL
TALKING, "SINGING,"
DANCING
WILLIAM FOX MOVIETONE
FOLLIES
ADDED ATTRACTION
FOX MOVIETONE NEWS ALSO "THE STAR WITNESS" AN ALL TALKING COMEDY
AT THE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY At
QUEEN'S A 2.0, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
STAR
RAYMOND GRIFFITH IN "TRENT'S LAST CASE"
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY ar 5.30 & 9.20.
WORLD
LON CHANEY IN "WHERE EAST IS EAST"
TO-DAY, TO, SATURDAY Continuous 1.15 to 11.15.
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CINEMA NEWS.
YOUTHFUL DANCERS.
The lunch-hour aquanderer usual Youth and beauty, as well as a ly gets into the nabit of nibbling good foundation in stage dancing. odds and ends during working were the requirements laid down by hours, and as it is not possible to Marcel Silver in selecting the young make a plain mea! under such con- women of the ensemble, for "Movie ditions, they take the shape of tone Follies of 1929." chocolate, sweets, tiny cakes, and Some of the girls come from the other tit-bits that can be secreted studio of Fanchon and Marco, others The many strange children, with
in a drawer when authority is are from well-known dancing schools of New York and Los Angeles. The. their air of knowing "all about it," the sire and unfamiliarity of
Between breakfast at eight o'clock average age of the girls finally the room, all combine to make the
in the morning and the next home selected was just over sixteen years." little one feel desolate and abandón-child's helplessness that makes him meal at seven o'clock in the even- Lon Chaney at the World. ed. the moment the door closes on dread to be separated from his moing, there is a period of eleven Grim adventure in a tropical his mother.
hours, and at one o'clock a healthy wilderness, and a conflict of human
arc the Teach him how to take off, and girl who has done a morning's | emotions
elements of ]
· Lon put on, his clothes, and the vari- work should be ready for a sub-"Where East. is East." ous means of fastening-buttoning,stantial meal, whether it is one of Chaney's
Metro-Goldwyn- tying, lacing, He should know soap fish, and "a sweet, enten in a Mayer film now showing at the how to take down and hang up restaurant, or a semi-picnic one of World. his coat, using the loop.
bread and cheese, meat sandwiches, The plot is laid in the jungles of Help him to make or do little fruit, milk, and so on, "caten in Binm, Chaney plays the role of things to show his teacher. It is the office.
"Tiger" Haynes, trapper of wild one of the best ways of getting the Such a meal should be liberal in "beasts, and here, with the one love shy, child to "come out of himself. amount, eaten slowly, and to the of his life, his daughter (played by He brings to school, a little accompaniment of cheerful chatter, Lupe Velez) he dwells in compara Everything that gives him a feel-match-box engine that he made and concluded with a quiet stroll tivi pence until another woman Estelle ing of capability will help him to last night with dad and the little in the open irtofllin what comes into their lives, overcome his shyness. It is often a tongue has no need to be prompted is left of a properly spent lunch Taylor plays this role of an (Continued at foot of next column), 'what to say,,:
hour..
Oriental charmer.
Much may be done to save the child from what is real suffering.
It is an easy matter to make him acquainted beforehand with a few of the children who will be his com- panions. Having even one little friend will make a difference.
Do not let him get any idea of fear connected with school. This often prevents him making known his wants to the teacher.
-new
Tel C. 1030.
Speakers,
Singers,
Athletes
TRY:
VALDA
PASTILLES