·
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"So you are going to Rome! You will visit the Capitol, of course ?" "Yes, we always go to the cinema first thing."
le. "We are now passing one of the most exclusive shops in the city."-
She; "Why"
"I hear you stopped off in Greece on your European trip."
"Yes, I wanted to taste some real American 'cooking."--
Sallor: "Man overboard!"
Wife of the Man in the Water: "Pardon me—a gentleman. My husband is a first-class passen- ger,"
Jack: Here's an account of how a man wrote a love fetter and got into trouble by it."
Tom: "E can sympathise with that fellow. That's how I happen- ed to get married."
Sam was employed in a village gocery shop. He was completing his duties one night when his mas- ter's voice sounded from the head of the stairs." Sara, have you sand ed the sugar?" "Yes," "And have you watered the milk 1 "Yes." } Well then, come upatairs to even- ing prayers."
A Scotsman who frequently stayed
• away from work was told by his cm- ployer to produce a doctor's certi Reate the next time he was absent. He did so. The doctor, knowing his man, bad drawn a line through the word "ailment."
"What's this?" asked the em- ployer, "No ailment ??
"Man." answered the Scotsman, dae ye no see I've had a slight stroke 7"
It was the end of the afternoon, and the class was ready to depart, when the master, who was rather absent-minded, asked:Has any one seen my hat?"
It's on your head, sir!" said & voice on the front row.
**Oh, thanks very much," replied the master. "If you hadn't notic- ed it. I might have left without
it!"
"THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1929,
Motorist "Can" you come at once There's car up the road that has turned turtle.'
Busy Mechanic: "This is a gar age, not an aquarium!??
Storekeeper (handing jug to little Jane)'Hero's your moluses, my dear where have you got the money!"
ן
Jane (startled)"Oh, it's in the bottom of the jarl"
Pompous Lady (visiting Paris), "Garcong. garcong, don-don- dun-donner-mai-oh, why don't you waiters understand English?'" Waiter (politely): "Why doesn't madam speak it?"
Renrder: "I say, I hope you won't charge me for a hot bath-it was only lukewarm."
Landlady: "Oh. no. Hot bath sixpence, cold bath threepencs, so lukewarm will be ninepence!'..
The student reporter had just submitted his editorial for the day to the editor. Leaving the editori- al room, he began to reflect upon what he had written and decided to go back to change something, in
it.
I have a few corrections to make on the editorial that I sub- mitted," he told the editor.
The editor reached into the waste- basket and pulled out the editori- al.
"All right, but make it snappy: the wastebaskets will be emptied in five minutes.".
Oswald Garrison Villard, the fa- Tous publicist, told this:
"They tell a story about a French functionnaire who was transferred to a provincial town. Well, when the man took over his new quar- ters he found half a dozen large rooms packed and jammed with thousands of faded, dusts, useless
document, the accumulation of ser- veral hundred years. So, needing space, he wrote to Paris for per-
mission to burn the documents.
"He got an answer in due course, "You may burn the documents," it said, but make copies of them
first,
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
16
12
16
110
34
10
$19
22
1225
28
.26
30
મ
06
32 33
39 40
41
445
140 99
42
46
25247
150
[5]
154
Horizontal.
I.Robbery.
8.-Part of flower. TL-To like better. 12-Speaker.
14. Exclamation. 18.-Clothes makers.
11. Alongside. 18-Likely.
-Showera -Piece for two. -Wrinkle. 21-Sheltered side.
-To thaw.. 23.-Restrains 28.-Lifts... 20-Part of shoe. 31-High mountain. 2.-Playa. 35.-To lubricate. 3-Greek cupid.
3.-Vehicle.
41.-Part of window frame.
49-Part of to be.
43.-Fruit centres.
45.-Eliminate.
40-French for and.
47-To go ahead,
40-Civil engineer Kabbra.).
to. To do again.
5%-Of neither gender.
B-Wanders,
GB.-Weapon.
Vertical
1-Figurative uses of word.
2-Pronoun.
3.-Newt.
-Terror
-Tribulations.
6.—Earlier..
-Mistakes.
8.Dance step..
By
10.Sinall·lobe..
11-Periodie form of
B
[53
55
i-Hindu peasants. 16. Falschood.'
10-Marks akin.
Hopelessness. 23-Waste lands. 25-Land measures. 2-Favourite.
29.-Swins river.
32-Drain.
33. One who talks idly.
-Scurries,
25.-Young, plant leaves. 38-One who slices. 37.-Church official. 40-Part of circumference. 43.-To stuff.
H. To percolate.
47.-Vegetable. 48-Owing. o-Italian river.
-Symbol of taalum.
wwwww
This puzzle took 24 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
No. 1496
KATES
APOLLOS UP MARK
MIMPIEDY 3716-932-3819 LB.395H SAVID $200KAREN MIBIJPEND TEARSI PASJON
177BOEDERE KIBARUAKK
37129
THE NEW FOOTBALL
PROUDLY SURVEYS NEW
'STARTS OUT TO SHOW
FOOTBALL DADDY BROUGHT HOME TO HIM
IT" "TO THE GANG
GETS HOME FROM ER- RAND AND READS
A BIT BEFORE SUPPER,
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
ALLOWS ERCH MEMBER OF GANG ONE NICK
EXPLAINS HE CAN'T LEAVE IT WITH THEM, HE HAS TO DO AN ER- RAND AT THE STORE AND HAS TO TAKE IT
GOES UP TO WASH - FOR SUPPER
EATS SUPPER
'AND SO, VERY HAPPY
TO BED
{10~17 (Copyright, 1919, by The Bell Syndigste, Inc.).
SPORT
NAVY SAVED,
Royal Navy and Civil Service played a drawn game of two. goals each on the United Services ground at Portsmouth. It was a stubborn and evenly contested match, the Navy bring saved from defeat by a late goal.
In the first half there was no score the Navy, who had had slightly the for twenty-two minutes, and then
Letter of the exchanges, took the lead. Rigger Coates, who had been conspicuous in the sailors' attack, opponents and passed
•best two
meatly to Stevens, who sent the ball on to Simpson, who scored with a fast shot. Most of the attacking up to this point had been done by the
Naval men.
The Civil Service made desperate efforts to get on terms, Ruston and Daniel being prominent. Daniel once almost headed through from close quarters. Coates once again almost beat, Widdop with a hat which the keeper got away with dificulty.
AND
GUNAS (VILLIANTS
ATHLETICS.
CHAMBERS SPRINGE A
SURPRISE.
There was & gathering of star
lists at Herne Hill when one of the most important races was the Grand Prix" over a distance of 200 metres. This was the first event
victory rested with E. H. Chambers of its kind held in London, and
(Brighton Stanley Wheelers), who, in the finnd placings had an aggre gate of 8 points against 7 by S. T.
Corcas (Manchester Wheelers) and 10 by J. Rutter (Polytechnic C.C.).
HEAR
WHAT YOU
AT THE
SEE
"ALIBI
THE 100% ALL-TALKING UNDERWORLD · DRAMA
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY TO "SATURDAY
At 2.30, 5,10, 7.15 & 9.20
STAR
DOLORES DEL RIO
IN
"REVENGE
"
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW AT 6.30 & 9.20,
WORLD
IRENE RICH
IN
"THE SILVER SLAVE"
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW Continuous 1.15 to 11.15.
S
E
E
former
REMARKABLE SCORE,
this Tomany Armour, Scottish amateur, won the Ameri ein Western open gall champion ship at Milwaukee with the amazing score of 273 for seventy-two boles. Armour's rounds were 68, 71, 65, 69.
Brooks at Cooden Beach holed his Fred Robson playing Sidney tee shot at the fourteenth, which start of a brilliant streak, for Robson's score for the last five holes
measures 133 yards. This was the
was only 14.
The defeat of Cozens was some-
Bognor, playing over their own thing of a surprise, ag the Jan-0 . Foursomes were played in course beat West Hove by 3 points chester rider, after gaining entry
the morning and four-ball matches in the afternooka,
100% TALKIE
"ALIBI
AT
THE QUEEN'S TO-DAY
MODERN FACTORY
GIRL:
INTELLIGENT AND KEEN.
H.
E
R
WORLD'S SMALLEST
PENSION.
3d. A WEEK AFTER FORTY YEARS SERVICE.
For the second year in succussion A native of Surrey claims the a young woman, Mirs Nors Wynne, distinction of drawing the smallest welfare supervisor of a Carlisle pension in the world 3d. a. week. firm, has been elected president of He is Mr. Charles Pearce, of Ons- the Institute of Industrial Welfare low village, Guildford, a white feience ended in Birmingham re- and every Saturday he may be seen Workers. When the Institute's com-haired, white moustached old figure, ontly Miss Wynne told a reporter waiting in the queue at the smathing of the thousands of giris Southern Railway pay office in Guildford to receive his weekly 3d. The thirty-six. holes final for the who work in industrial cities. ጽቡ
Mr. Pearce readily explained the Harlech Town Bowl was decided over the Royal St. David's Club
situation to a puzzled Press repre nurse when J. B. Charles (Royal Liverpool) (handicap 8) beat NP. Humphries (Stourbridge) (scratch) by 4 and 3.
into the final of the world's cham- pionship, had been regarded as a warm favourite. The final fought out in three rounds. Cozens won the fire by two lengths from Chambers, but was narrowly beaten by the Brighton rider in the two succeeding rounds,'
M.
CHAMPION WOMAN SKATER,
Daniel surprised the Navy goal- keeper five minutes before half-time
W. J. Bailey (England) contested with a spot which struck the face three matches, each over 300 yards, of the crossbar, while just before against two well-known French pro- the interval Danid equalised, fol- fessionals, G. Compry and
Miss Sonja Henie the world's lowing a free kick taken by Behn.
Cordier. Compry won the first racechampion woman figure skater, is the second half play was of a in 4-secs., Bailey having a pune-proceeding to the United States in most determined character. Civilture, but the Englishman took the December to take part in the aknt- Service increased their score next two heats in 23 2-3sces, anding tournaments which are to be twenty-two minutes from the restart 22 1-3sers, respectively.
held in the United States during through Ruston, who received from F. W. Southall won a two miles January, and the world champion Hawkings, and two minutes from pursuit race against four well-ship contests which are to be held the end Stevens equalised for the known London- cyclists in 4mins. at Madison Square Garden Xavy,
15 4-5secs..
February.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
POTATOES FOR A PRIMA DONNA.
MME. JERITZA DEFIES OBESITY.
A passion for potatoes sounds a commonplace, usual affair general- ly known to those who have a ten- dency be stout. When that same passion is enjoyed by a beautiful woman singer who has a tendency to be thin the homely potato - at- Lains those heights of sublimity that inspire the art of the world's greatest chefs.
Moe.
the Jeritza
famous. golden haired prima donna is the luckiest ainger of her sex in the world. She loves potatoes and she dares to eat them. She is so slim, so elegant, so supple that she is not afraid they will make her fat. Her good fortune in this respect is openly envied by all hor rivals.
Dally Exercises,
How does Mine. Jeritza, like her potatoes done! She loves them "saute," eats them every day, and to counteract possible, denge to her slenderness she does Swedish
drill.
"I do my exercises twice a day, she confessed, "quite seriously.
Ten minutes when I come from my bath, ten minutes at night before
I go to bed, and then I play ten- nis."
Two months in the year
BLACK AND WHITE JEWELLERY.
Crystal onyx and stress are. used for this interesting neượ jewellery.
Paris decrees that jewellery for the coming winter will be of the simplest.
WORRY.
"The factory girl of to-day is n plendid young person," she said.
sentative.
She is alert, often amazingly
Old-Age Pension. quick at her work, is proud of her! job, has a strong pride of firm, and
"Oh yes, he said, "it is truc Ikea to feel that the things she is that I draw a pension of '3d. a helping to make go perhaps all over week, but it is not really as funny the world. Like all girl of her as it sounds. I worked for forty guneration, she is fond of sports, years on the South-Western Rail and she has keen spirit of ad-way, and when I retired I became venture which lead her to go far entitled to a pension of 10s. 3d. ufeld for her holdays.
4 week. Two years later I qualifi "Girls save up throughout the ed for the old-age pension, and year in holiday bunks in order that my railway pension was automati they may go on the Continent for cally reduced by 108., but I con their week off. To-day it is far tinue to draw my 3d. a week, more possible for a girl to have a thongh it costs me 2d. to go and intenreer in a factory. The whole collect it."
question of promotion is most care. fully considered, and you may come in as a girl of fourteen and if you have ability and character rise to be head forewoman,
Many parents want their child ren to be clerks rather than go fato a factory, where, however, there are more opportunities for advance ment than these people realiec. Welfare work is. expanding, and the qualities of the good welfare work-
He explained that it was, of course, not the prospect of the re- maining peany that made him bo ther to fetch his 3d.
"I remain on the books of the railway company so long is I cou tinue to draw my pension," he de- dared,
"and can consequently claim one free pass a year on the Southern Railway and privilege tickets-that is, tickets at quarter fare for myself and family when are the right temperament, we wish to travel." special training, a sense of justice, Mr. Pearce, has been married [BY DR. C. STANFORD READ.] and a sense of proportion All the twice, and although he is seventy- time you must consider the person-two, he has two children under ality of cath worker, and you may fourteen.
Worry in modern life is natural
CRough. It is only a destructive
and useless state of mind unless
er
have thousands to deal with.
"You must look upon him as a
human being with a character of
his own. You must also constantly a clearly defined Inbour polier you
at
and employment
it leads towards an attempt to watch the worker in relation to his are more likely to arrive
job, and try not to let gound pegs stability. of the finding of a solution by means get into square holes. If you have security
of which the origin of the worry can be removed.
Some individuals because of their temperament are prone to it when- ever life is not smooth. Any of us are more liable to be victims to such depressive feelings because of fatigue or indisposition. Ex- cessive anxiety over trifles is a mor hid symptom and shows the mind is functioning amiss
Cravings.
Unsatisfied emotional cravings may cause a mental tension which leaks out in anxious feeling. Worry is a useless dissipator of energy, and when irrational and disproportionate to the source The chief ornaments generally be should be taken as an indication ing shown are crystal and onyx of mental ill-health which requires necklaces with a bracelet to match, ¦ adjustment.
|
One attractive ensemble of this
sort consisted of a large onyx and
me.
crystal choker, bracelet to match, ahlong in shape, but not to bright Jeritza devotes entirely to sport in and a pure crystal designed ring.
the country, resting her voice.
"I still take singing leasons,
17
she said. "I shall take them all my life. An artist can never finish learning
as a round or square cut stone.
A now cut diamond is being This style of jewellery will be launched by Rue de la Paix jewel-worn a great deal this winter, and lera. It is called "baguette," usually will be fastened on hip. (Continued at foot of next column.) bows or bodice.
(Continued on next Oolumn).
workers"
AFFORESLLENT
of tentire for Your
Consistently awarded the Institute of Hygiene Certificates: Purity's highest guarantee
Cerebos
SALT