HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Ia the furniture in their home "azodern !"
Sure. It's all antique."
Waggish Diner (with menu}`j Chicken croquettes, eh? I say, waiter, what part of a chicken is
the croquette
Waiter: The part that's left over front the day before, sir."
Lion
-----
THE HONG KUNG DAILY PRESS. SATURDAY, OCTOBER, 12, 1929.
When Marion's mother coaxed her to drink her anilk, she objected strongly. Trying to persuade her, her mother said. Why, Marion, your little cousin. Ruth, drinks her milk better than you do."
Very quickly Marion responded "Live it to liuth, then!”
in a small northern town a coin- pany of barnstormers was playing to a meagre audience. The villain
What is your greatest arabidragged the shrinking heroine down the stage to the footlights, and in her ear he hissed," Are we alone?" "No, guvluor,' interrupted the
To get rich enough so I won't have to ask what will be the sinal lest down payment they will alone occupant of the gallery, “not cept when I go to buy a motor car."; tonight you ain't, but you will be
to-morrow. night.
He was talking with a friendl
"Yes," said Mès, Newkind; “ my about a trip he had made to Aber-husband is most awfully careless: "I see they have an old bridge's always losing the buttons off
his clothes."
deen..
there which dates from the time of Robert the Bruce," he remarked.
"Yes," replied the friend, who aded, more from a desire to make conversation than anything else: "I wonder if there is any danger
of it giving."
Not in Aberdeen," caine the immediate answer.
1 understand that Gertrude married a man who made a sudden fortune in oil"
Yes, and he disgraced her while they were on their honeymoon."
How's that?"
Gertrude wanted the other pas sengers to think an ocean voyage was an old story to them, when her husband, right off, pointed to a row of life preservers and asked the captain what was the idea of
o many extra tires.
After walking out with Jean for some months, Argus proposed to her and was accepted. This fact being reported to Jean's mother, she felt it her duty to call upon the prospective bridegroom to dis over something about his financia! condition.
Being curtly questioned whether he was in a position to keep a wife, Angus replied in the affirmative, placing the matter beyond all doubt by volunteering this infer
mation:-
There's hardly a mornin' but naves some of ma porritch; in fact, if a dinna get a wife soon a' maun get anither pig."
1..
Perhaps, y dear," replied ri. Oldstyle, gently, it is be cause they are not sewn on careful ly enough.'
That's just it! He's most awful- ly slipshod with his sewing.
An old southern Negro was ask-
ed by the proprietor of a store how he happined to need credit when he had such a good cotton crup.
De ducks got 'bout all that eat- was the mournful re- ton, sah,'
What do you mean, the ducks
it?"
ply.
got
Well, you see," explained the old man, I sent dat cotton up to Memphis, and dey deducks the freight, and deg deducks the stor-. age charge, and dry deducks the commission, and dey deducks the taxes yes, ah, de ducks she did get 'hout all dut cotton!"
Elizabeth was a spoiled girl, and when she married the celebrated city cotton magnate all her friends decided that it was just a means of antisfying her extravagance.
They had, not been married very long lafore the husband found that Elizabeth was spending a great deal more money than he allowed her.
"Do you know, Betty," he said one day, "your dressmakers' bilis eat up nearly three-quarters of my
income 1"
"Really. Do they " replied his extravagant wife. And what do you do with the rest of your money, Monty 1"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
2.
14.
5
7
12
14
16
18
20
12
23
24.
196
26
28 29
30
31
32 33
35
138
142
44
45
146
30147
50
51
1.-Founde.
6.Steps.
Horizontal.
11. To be indignant at,
12.-Canned. "
14.-Upon.
15.-Hard substance.
17.-Musicni.
18-By way of.
20.-To aver. 21.-Metal peg
22.--Urges.
24.-Man's name.
24-Man's name (Biblical):
25.--Ornamental brick.
26.--Fell as frozen rain,
28.-Songs,
30. At present.
31.--A weight.
32.-Steeples,
35.-Shooting star.
38.-To subject to practical jokey. 30.-Malt liquor,
41.-Doer of great, deeds,
42.-Metalliferous rock.
43.-Outbreaks.
45. To knock.
46.-Pronoun.
47.-Traveller to sacred place.
49.-Symbol for tellurium.
30.-A fruit.
52. Grows accustomed.
54. More recent,
55.-System of signals..
1.-Genial.
2.-While.
3.-Ocean.
4.-Finithen.
Vertical.
5.-Declared,
6.-Pertaining to electricity at
rest.
7.-Prong. 8.-An insect, 9.-Within..
10. Ta lond again. 11-Wanders.
155
טיון
148 49
13.-Europenas, 16.-Prefix: "evil. 10. To torture. 21-Early settler. 23.-Took onth.. 25.-Pledge to marry. 27.-Sheep.
29. To consume,
32. To holloer.
3-Clergyman. 31.-Tur.
23.-Pertaining to measure. 30.-Speaks in public." 37.- Lassaca,
40-Cut tree trunk. 13.-Ceremony.
41.--Prefix: Chinese. 47.-Foot. 49.-Wet earth, 51.-Pronoun, 53.Prefix: again.
This puzzle took 10 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
暴飲暴
DADLO
PRATH MON
JO GAILY DO
BATH DOME -
ADDREAVERN
2008 NBABE 2338 AND SIZED
"
- DIFFICULT DECISIONS
TRYING TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND, WHAT
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
LAIME
TO DO WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT, WITH AN IMPORTANT
APPOINTMENT, IN A TROLLEY BLOCKADE. EACH TIME YOU DECIDE
TO GET OUT AND WALK THE TROLLEY MOVES A FEW FEET, `
AND WHEN YOU SETTLE BACK TO WAIT,
SO DOES THE TROLLEY
9-17 (Copyright, 1929, by The Buli Syndicate, Inc.]
SPORT
TENNIS AMATEURS BEAT
РБОБ
AND
tion.
WILA
ATHLETICS.
INTERNATIONAL RUGBY, It so often happens that at the be- The Amateurs heat the Profes- ginning of a season one nation or sionals in their annual match at another seems to have an outstand. Devonshire Park recently by oing chance of winning the Cham-ear some of the older men who events to 3. The Professionals had pionship, that it is rather a relief hoped that this year they might to be able to any this year that it at last attain their ambition and is a very open question, and that just secure a win. It was reason any one of the five countries might win, although, as usual, France sp- able, because E. C. Peters and S. W. Harris only escaped narrowly pears to have the slenderest hope of from D. Maskell and T. C. Jeffery reaching the head of the competi- respectively, both of whom were partially ineffective, for Maskell had recently taken a nasty toss when eyeling and Jeffery is under treatment for a strained shoulder. Maskell should, nevertheless, have benten Peters, whom he had on the defensive throughout. He was, in deed, producing a kind of reversal of legendary type. He was going out for everything in an all-court game like an enthusiastic young amateur, while Peters sat back "for, kceps.'
After pulling up from love three and three-five down in the final set, and from fifteen-forty to deuce in the final game, Maskell got over-excited and missed two siters" he had worked for clever ly, and was beaten 6-1, 4-8, 7---5. Charles Read, on the other hand, the veterna former champion, won entirely by crait against H. F. David, 1-0, 0-7, 8-9 He began like a beginner, double faults and all, and by the end his touch was as complete as David's confusion.
There is a regular ebb and flow in this matter, dependent on the ternational standard. In this sea- supply of new material up to In-
(Continued, on next Column).
straight sets. In that J. L. Cham berlain, the champion of Yorkshire, beat J., Pearce, 6-2, 6-2 With iniprovement in match play and greater self-reliance on the court on the part of the Professionals will come a new aspect of the game in England, which is much to be desired, and its improvement also.
1
son each of the countries concerned find itself in need of a consider- able leavening of new blood; each country will probably have to dis- have done yeoman. service during the last few years, so that it is not unlikely that the country with the youngest team-taking an aver- age of the fifteen players will end up at the head of the group. For instance, Scotland, the winners of last year, will no longer have their best forward available. Even the most arden of Irish supporters must have had their enthusiasm somewhat damped by the series of disappointments which has been- the lot of the Irish national team since the war. Thore have been times and last season was an ex- ample-when the championship seemed well within the reach of the Trishmen, but each time some thing has happened to mar their success. Wales has been knocking at the door for some years now, but the appreciable improvement in the play of the Welsh team last season makes it probable that the country which was responsible for introducing the modern style of back play will once again prove supreme. Welsh forwards Down days are very different from what they wore a few years ago; they combine robustness with skill, and can last as well any forwards. Lastly one turns to the prospects of England, as their is no news from. France as yet. Some of the older brigade. will inevitably drop out this year, but there are fortunately plently of promising youngsters to take their place. Three or four west
whose country forwards, claims were recognised rather late in the day, will proibly remain in the team. Altogether, this year's i England team should be young and vigorous; if they do not win the J. L. Chamberlain and J. 6. Har-championship, they should certain. rison (Amateurs) beat J. Pearce ly lay the foundations for a chan and E. C. Kelly, 6-4, 6-0.
pion team a year or two hence.
SINOLES
Maskell, 6-1, 4-6, 7-8.
E. C. Peters (Ainuteurs) beh£· D.
H. K. Lester (Amateurs) lost to W. H. Dear, 63, 18, 1-6.
II. F. David (Amateurs) lost to C. R. Read, 6-1, 7-0, 2-0.
S. W. Harris (Amateurs) beat T. C. Jeffery, 86, 40, 6-4.
J. L. Chamberlain (Amateurs), J. S. Harrison (Amateurs) beat
DOUBLES,
W. H. Dent beat H. K. Lester,best J. Pearce, 6, 6-2. 3-6, 6-1 6-1, and is to be con gratulated for his steadiness and E. C. Kelly, 4-6, 0-2, 03. necuracy. Lester was listless, as though affected by the heat.
Each member of the Amateur team has played in an official match for England, and the six was the best the Professionals have ret met. Their all-round impro-¦ vement is shown by the fact that only one singles match was, won in Continued on next Column).
H. K. Lester and E. C. Peters (Amateurs) bent. W. H. Dear and T. O. Jeffery, 6-4, 7-5 H. F. David and S. W. Harris (Amate urs) lost to D. Maskell and C. R. Rend, 6-4, 1-6, 1—8,
MAINLY FOR THE MEN.
He meets thrills in plenty in his astral adventures. One of the most exciting is described as an encoun ter with an astral 'fiend.
"My eyes encountered an ominous spectacle-a terrifying sight. There stood F.D. glaring at me like a maniac. I shall never forget the savage look on his face as long as I live. I knew instinctively | that he meant revenge, and was frankly terrified.
A play with a cast composed en- tirely of Members of Parliament will be perfomed shortly. Mr. James Sexton, M.P., who has sat for St. Helens since 101 proposes to revive his work, "The Riot Act." It will be put on at the Strand Theatre, by arrangement with Miss Kyrie Bellow (Mrs. Arthur Bour- chier),. at an early date, and ac cording to present plans, for one night only, but it is possible, if "I did not know what to do, the venture is attended with the but before I had time to do any success which seems likely, that it thing he leaped upon me! We may continue for several days. Mr. fought for a few moments-he get- Sexton, the son of a pedlar, start ting the better of me as he curseded work as a half-timer, and at thirteen was sailing before the and beat me with all his might.
mast. As seaman, agitator, and Trade Union official he has had an interesting career, and is now over seventy years of age. So long as twenty-four years ago he was Pre-
"His strength seemed greatly superior to mine at the time, but in & moment I suddenly realised that my controlling power was pulling me in.'
in
Munching on bot frank- furter Bausage is to become
more sanitary pastime through the ingenuity of Alexander Flamm, of Fairfield, Conn.. who has just been granted a patent on a frankfart, slot machine. The new machine will cook the frank- furter, tonst the roll, season the meat, and send it out wrapped in sanitary paper 1 minutes after a coin has been dropped in the slot, according to the inventor. Mr. Flamm's invention, on which he has worked are years, is controlled by electricity. The frankfurter is not touched by hands. Five hun- dred frankrurters and the same number of rolls may be placed in the machine.
H
Highways of British Columbia are to be cleared of all advertising sident of the Trades Union Consigns under a programme announced
Kress.
here by N. 8. Longheed, Minister of Public Works. Every sign along public roads will be removed by government engineers and strong
"I wrote The Riot Act 1012," he said to the Sunday Times and it had a successful run for three weeks at Liverpool, followed France has created a real dying by a week at Blackpool and a squad. A French official Note re- month at Manchester, where it was minda air pilots that an air po-measures will be taken to prevent produced at the Gaiety Theatre by lice force under the control of the the erection of any in future. Mi His Horniman's company. Put French Ministry is now in opera- Loughood said he had been impress in a nutshell, the story of the play tion over French territory and ter- cd during a recent tour with the The police air number of advertising signs along is strike or legislate. I have re-ritorial waters.
named it "Democracy, and it will planes are equipped with smoke be produced under that title. In rockets to be used as a signal to order to bring it entirely up to any machine disobeying regula date,
have put a few modern tions. Any pilot on being warned must follow the police airplane to ideas into the theme, so that it is now in accord with our own time. an aerodrome or, in case of me. I think it should be, and hope it chanical breakdown, effect an im will be, a success.”
mediate landing.
most of Washington's high-ways, while he had seen none in Oregon. business interests had where abolished this form of advertising Bucha by mutual agreement. movement here, he said, would be of enormous, value to the Province and to its tourist industry.
The Picture of a Thousands Thrills
A
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STAR
The
Carl Laemmle presents
The LAST WARNING
starring LAURA LA PLANTE
The startling and
thrilling story of a
group of actors who
dared the unknowa
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NIGHTLY AT 9.15PM. EDGAR WARWICK Presents the
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IN REVIEWS OF THE REVUES.
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
OCT. 12th & 13th
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